I played in a recital yesterday. I played through it with out any disasters, but made much more small mistakes than I usual do (as to be expected). The thing that I found odd is that after I'm done playing I have a hard time remembering how my peice actaully sounded. Usually, when I practice through a peice I can usually make a good assessment on how I played each part. I guess when I perform in front of my people and being nervous makes me focus more on the notes then actually listening, but I'm not sure what's going on.

Does anyone else have issues like this? I think it's a problem that will resolve itself as I become used to peforming, but I'm just curious if I'm not the only one with this wierd problem.

I've resorted to popping a piece of chocolate or hard candy just before performing. That way I'm rather distracted because I "love" chocolate. My mind seems a little preoccupied with the treat.

In the past, my eyes started to blur the black and white keys. Just keep the chocolate wrapped at all times and don't forget to unwrap it before you put it into your mouth!

I was in my first recital as an adult last December and a friend of mine caught the whole thing on video; otherwise, I wouldn't have remembered anything about it. I only remembered sitting on the bench to begin, and then walking back to my seat after I played. So I don't think it's weird at all. I'm thinking that as I perform more and become more comfortable (maybe when I'm 90 or so), it won't happen so much. However, having the video afterwards to watch sort of jogged my memory about some of it, what I was feeling at particular points in the music, so the memories of the performance were in there, just overwhelmed by the immediacy of just surviving the performance.

I think this is a very common problem. Many performing pianists I know have stories of "train wrecks" they had when playing for the public. Your brain becomes hyper-aware when you're nervous, and you rarely get a chance to practice in that state to figure out how to deal with it. I try to "pre-create" the recital feeling as many times as I can by playing for friends, playing on the recital piano, playing while thinking about every single note in slow motion (which is often how I feel when I play for people), and any other strategy I can. I still make more mistakes than I do at home, but I try not to expect to play for others on a different piano as well as I play on my own when I'm alone.

I love the candy idea, Diane. I may try that. Maybe it will keep me from thinking, "Am I going to forget the first measure of the next section like I did last time?" and various other sabotaging thoughts!

Nancy

I had the same issue recently. I have only played in public three times. The last one was at a music festival that was judged by local piano teachers. One of the comments I got was that I need to have more dynamic range in my playing. My teacher asked me whether this was a fair assessment. I couldn't remember much about my performance. I remember sitting down and playing, and remember making some mistakes. That's it. Nothing else! No clue about what I sounded like! But when I play at home and during my lessons, I am very aware of what I sound like.

I played in my first recital at Christmas as well. I only remember the mistakes - I may have played, "Mary Had a Little Lamb" for all I know...Liz

I wish I had this problem. I remember my first and only recital all too well. I got stuck about eight measures in. It was like I couldn't read music, couldn't hear, and couldn't find my place on the keys. I just stopped for what seemed like several minutes but was probably about 5-10 seconds. I played a few wrong notes, then somehow found my place again and made it through the rest of the song, not well, but without disaster.

I still felt I had accomplished something, even though it went so badly. The worst part was after the recital when someone complimented me on my performance. Having to face someone who actually listened to me play was rather mortifying.

There's nowhere to go but up.

Mistakes are different - you will remember them forever!
But all the rest, dynamics, expression ... gone with the wind! I had a small recital last week and afterwards wondered how everything sounded. Reminds me of what people tell about their weddings, that they cannot remember one single detail of the whole day. Must have something to do with extreme emotional stress I guess.