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#1146973 - 11/07/08 07:13 PM
Flipping a melody upside down: feedback please!
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Full Member
Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 296
Loc: Munich, Germany
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Hi everyone, http://refl.co.uk/pianoforums/autumn.mp3 Structurally it's quite simplistic (it's effectively A A A A A' A' A' A' with general dynamic profile of crescendo up to middle then diminuendo to the end!!) but I've tried my best not to make it appear that way. I also thought I'd try "something brave": the piece is stylistically (largely) romantic but I'm using the ancient trick of flipping the motif upside down at places, and using it together in a counterpoint with the actual motif in one particular passage. My main concern is that there's only one motif that makes up a 4-minute song, but do let me know if you can be kept interested listening to it! Thanks Tar P.S. Sorry for the quality, there isn't a huge amount of room on my web space so I'm compressing it quite a bit!
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Tar Viturawong Amateur composer and pianist Known on YouTube as pianoinspirationverbis defectis musica incipit
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#1146974 - 11/08/08 08:17 AM
Re: Flipping a melody upside down: feedback please!
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1000 Post Club Member
Registered: 03/28/07
Posts: 1777
Loc: Decatur, Texas
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The melodic nature and the dynamics did keep my attention, and the expert playing made it pleasant to listen to.
I do feel that it could benefit from another movement that takes it to a higher level, creates some tension, and then relaxes back to the original motif.
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Joe Whitehead ------ Texas Trax
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#1146975 - 11/08/08 08:51 AM
Re: Flipping a melody upside down: feedback please!
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Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member
Registered: 11/27/02
Posts: 12476
Loc: Iowa City, IA
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I like it very much and wouldn't change a single thing. Can I ask which album this is on, or is it something new?
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"If we continually try to force a child to do what he is afraid to do, he will become more timid, and will use his brains and energy, not to explore the unknown, but to find ways to avoid the pressures we put on him." (John Holt) www.pianoped.comwww.youtube.com/user/UIPianoPed
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#1146976 - 11/08/08 10:36 AM
Re: Flipping a melody upside down: feedback please!
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Full Member
Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 296
Loc: Munich, Germany
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jw7480:  I do feel that it could benefit from another movement that takes it to a higher level, creates some tension, and then relaxes back to the original motif. [/b] Hee hee, I kind of half convinced myself that the inverted motif could count as a distinct one!!! In any case I do wonder (hopefully without appearing to be insulting anyone's musical observation) how many classically trained people would actually pick up on the inversion when they hear it: so maybe the motif can count as two?! As for the tension: I started writing this with the resolution that "it would never ever soar above mezzo forte"... I confess: I wanted the structural organisation of this piece to be as in Grieg's "Aese's Death" (A A 'A B B' B): I wanted the simplicity of having only a couple of motifs but try to make it interesting in other ways such as the delivery of the melody on different voices and contrapuntal writing, in dynamic contrasts and using different timbres available on the piano. It's the first time I do anything like this, usually I tend to go for the well-defined ABACA or ABCAB structures, so I wanted to hear from people on this one if they think it works! Kreisler:  Can I ask which album this is on, or is it something new? [/b] I literally finished the piece on Wednesday and recorded it on Thursday. I've just released an album and because of that this will have to count towards the next one. I have a vague idea of what 30 minutes of the next CD would be like: I'd like to deal with things that are less personal and more universal like Nature but there's a LOT more to do!. Thanks for your kind words though, and I'll be sure to let you know in the (rather far) future when it comes out properly!!
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Tar Viturawong Amateur composer and pianist Known on YouTube as pianoinspirationverbis defectis musica incipit
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#1146977 - 11/09/08 11:42 PM
Re: Flipping a melody upside down: feedback please!
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Full Member
Registered: 03/22/08
Posts: 100
Loc: Rochester, MI
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Tar, I Love your composition! And,.. I did catch the inverted melody as this was the focus of a recent composition lesson of mine.. I do like the idea of the contrasting movement as JW7480 states - I'd try perhaps something repetitive, brief and with alternate tempo, then leading back to original motif.. On the other hand, I respect how you accomplished what you set out to do with song structure..and the song sounds great as is. I should add that I am still new to songwriting and mainly follow my gut and ear when writing music. My true guide is the story I'm trying to tell. Is the title and inspiration for this piece "Autumn"..(I presume)? If so, it is very fitting. Teri
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#1146978 - 11/10/08 10:27 AM
Re: Flipping a melody upside down: feedback please!
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2000 Post Club Member
Registered: 02/18/05
Posts: 2024
Loc: Urbandale, Iowa
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I like it, the overall structure is full of surprises. The harmonic turns and texture shifts kept the piece interesting. As should be the inversion of the theme sounded new and yet oddly familiar. My only critical comment would be that there are some significant pauses where not much happens for 10 or more seconds. In a casual listening situation (and who has time for deep listening anymore?) that's probably too long. There's a lot of scrumptous music in this piece. Thank you for posting.
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#1146979 - 11/10/08 06:33 PM
Re: Flipping a melody upside down: feedback please!
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Full Member
Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 296
Loc: Munich, Germany
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Hi Teri and Steve, Teri: Strangely enough, the title name "Autumn" was a "postpiration": it actually came as inspired by the music as opposed to the other way round!! I'm going to change it to "Autumn Leaves" as I've worked out that that is what this music reminds me of precisely: brown leaves (maple in my head) falling very gently from a great height - almost in a Forrest Gump fashion. The image strikes me most strongly at the introduction of the inverted theme on its own (i.e. halfway through the piece after the first climax): personally it's that major 7th followed by minor 7th progression in that high register that gives the "elevated" feeling. The harmony around the A minor root paints the orange/brown colour in my head - the colour of an autumn afternoon. Steve: your reflection is sad but, alas, so true! I guess in moments when I don't feel so reflective as I did when I recorded it the pauses probably are shorter. A lot of my pieces suffer this problem: depending on my mood one piece may last 5 or 7 minutes!!!!! Incidentally, I went to practice in my college Chapel this evening and because of the acoustics it was with difficulty that I found the happy medium between cluttering up the chords because I was playing too fast (and ignoring the acoustics) and turning the piece into a drone! When I perform live I often ask people to shut their eyes before I begin - to stupendous results. I can usually perceive it when people really get involved - the audience gets scarily quiet (contrasting an audience reading the programme!), and more than twice there was a good 15 second gap between the ring of my last notes dies and anyone making a move (although one could argue that they weren't sure whether I had finished the piece!!) Anyway, I guess sometimes you'll have to "prime" your audience for deep listening, which clearly isn't something that can easily be done on a CD (recitals perhaps...) Thank you both very much for the feedback!
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Tar Viturawong Amateur composer and pianist Known on YouTube as pianoinspirationverbis defectis musica incipit
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#1146981 - 11/13/08 02:48 PM
Re: Flipping a melody upside down: feedback please!
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Full Member
Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 296
Loc: Munich, Germany
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Originally posted by Horowitzian:  Didn't Victor Borge do something like this?  [/b] Hmmm really?! Where? Educate me 
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Tar Viturawong Amateur composer and pianist Known on YouTube as pianoinspirationverbis defectis musica incipit
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#1146982 - 11/15/08 01:12 AM
Re: Flipping a melody upside down: feedback please!
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8000 Post Club Member
Registered: 09/18/08
Posts: 8208
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Originally posted by Tar: Originally posted by Horowitzian:  Didn't Victor Borge do something like this?  [/b] Hmmm really?! Where? Educate me  [/b] Sorry I didn't see this sooner. In one skit he would place some sheets on the music desk of the piano. Then he would sit down to play. And it would sound all wrong. Next he turns the sheets over and plays again. This time, it sounds like it's supposed to. :p
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~H
Close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and nuclear weapons.
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