I feel the same way, if I know a recording is going on, I become clumsy, but I'm working very hard to overcome it. If I play and concentrate long enough, I end up forgetting about the recording. The nightmare comes when I have to find what's good it those very large take.

Pieces compose directly on the keyboard, or with a true understanding of it, are more fun to play because they feel natural to the hand. I also wrote that yesterday but it should have been in this thread

I try not to put too much pressure on myself about my improvisations. I've reached a stage where I don't feel self conscious when I record. In fact, I don't recall a time when I did actually. Maybe the first couple of times. Since each one is different anyway it would be hard to say I ever make a "mistake." sometimes I'll hit two notes where my finger was headed for one, but usually the ear can forgive such mishaps if the surrounding music is good. And often I'm able to take such things and make them part of the music and surprise myself.

I compose rags and fugues. The fugues, I compose "on paper", away from the piano, and I usually cannot play them right away - I have to learn them first. The rags, I compose by improvising into a tape recorder. I obviously can play them right away.

However, I don't think I am the best interpreter of my own work. Other people play my rags much better than I do.

Because they are two different specialist skill sets, and there's no real reason why they should be found in the same person. One requires excellence in a largely mental and theoretical sphere, whilst the other is more of a practical and physical skill.

Brilliant engineers can't necessarily successfully race the cars they design. Similarly, great playwriters can't necessarily act their way out of a paper bag, great architects possibly couldn't build their own garden shed, and you can be an inspired and innovative clothes designer without being brilliant at knitting or sewing.

I started piano at the age of 5 yrs old in 1952... And took lessons for 20 yrs from a man who had just come over from Germany, after WWII...
He had been a composer, conductor there, and while he never approached me to write...His old world standards affected me with a great deal of respect for Him ,feeling as if I were a displaced European. (I was born in Houston Texas in 1947).

In response to your question...

I did become a composer and wrote pieces for
He and I to play as duets......later to write ensemble pieces for some small film score and TV projects....

From my teacher, I got that all the greats of our piano history, wrote and performed their own works...

I felt that if Beethoven did...and Mozart did... Then to prove myself to the great God of Music, that I would compose and perform also...
In the desire to live into my "European “ leanings.

http://www.box.net/shared/a3p17y1gcg

This is a Concerto I wrote fro an album called The Gift of Passion .

I just started composing my first piece, (check out my topic about the piece), and when I compose I usually just freestyle on the Piano at first to get a good melody, and then write it down.
And even though the piece I wrote would be extremely challenging for me if it were written by someone else, I can play it perfectly, since I know how it should be played, and I created the notes. So really unless I just click random notes on Finale , So far I can play what I compose.