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#1151176 - 04/06/06 03:42 PM Oh dear, it's a bit...
PhotoJenny Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/05/06
Posts: 27
Loc: Linlithgow, Scotland.
...unnamed.
And I've had little feedback on this either.

This is my first vaguely not-completely-awful composition - the only other tunes I have written are an awful cheesy jazz tune for coursework last year, and a Christmas tune many years ago, again for coursework.

I'd much appreciate any constructive critisicm, and any suggestions for names. My initial thought is to name it something German, simply because I am currently in possession of a German dictionary. So any suggestions, or things you might connect with the piece would be good too.

Thank you much to y'all.

http://www.filelodge.com/files/hdd2/21356/invention.wma
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#1151177 - 04/06/06 04:06 PM Re: Oh dear, it's a bit...
8ude Offline
2000 Post Club Member

Registered: 01/21/04
Posts: 2050
What are your intentions for this piece as far as form is concerned? While you have some nice melodies, I'm having trouble finding a formal structure, it just seems to skip around. In a sense it almost reminds me structurally of something like Schumann's Kinderszenen or Mussorgsky's Pictures at an Exhibition, though the melodies don't seem to quite fit for that type of structure - the melodies seem to want to be more far reaching in a larger form.

While I found the melodies nice, I think this could have done with a little more harmonic and melodic interest. Harmonically it never strayed all that far from tonic. Melodically, I think you were somewhat constrained by the limited harmony you went with.

Certainly a good effort...
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What you are is an accident of birth. What I am, I am through my own efforts. There have been a thousand princes and there will be a thousand more. There is one Beethoven.

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#1151178 - 04/06/06 04:35 PM Re: Oh dear, it's a bit...
PhotoJenny Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/05/06
Posts: 27
Loc: Linlithgow, Scotland.
Ha, it's funny you mention Kinderszenen, I'm actually playing that these days. Haven't heard the Mussorgsky though.

I was originally going to have it in sonata form, but then my teacher (this is for coursework) recommended that I switch to ternary form as this would allow more variation in the middle section.

I see what you mean about the limited harmony. I think maybe if it was a longer piece I would have expanded a bit in that sense, but as it stands it's almost twice as long as it needs to be.

Oh by the way, I know the recording isn't perfect, and that I'm not exactly the worlds greatest pianist. Also there's one bit where the pause is a fair bit longer than I'd like, you can probably guess where, due to sloppy editing and me being too much of a lazy bum to redo it.

Thanks for the feedback \:\)

Any more ideas?
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