Hi to all,
I present the piano version of "For Monika".
I hope you will like it.
P.

Sheet music
http://www.4shared.com/file/43985781/7e68d032/monika-solo-piano.html

Mp3
http://www.4shared.com/file/44033811/14e52dcd/for_Monika_pianosolo.html

This is brilliant. I love the "Deck the Halls" esque melody, that quickly becomes it's own melody. When you modulate to G Minor, it's very well done.

I really enjoyed this, fantastic job!

Thanks IpsoPhatso!

I rarely visit this site, but the title caught my eye.

Pukino, I really like this piece. Makes me want to meet Monika and cheer her up. I have downloaded it and put it on my "must learn" pile.

Thanks for posting...

Hi Pukino,

I've listened twice and enjoyed your piece. Try not to be surprised. If you would like some constructive suggestions I would be happy to make some privately.

Thanks gmm1!
I am glad you like this piece. Thank you for your nice comment.

Thanks Steve,
of course you can write me your comments via email or PM if you like. You can also write it here, If somebody attacks you, I will play dissonant chords to that person whole night! :-)

Just some note:
In this piano version I tried to make the score easy to play, so the accompaniment by the left hand is inferior and should be played silently, the piece is based on melody. I used also the advice of Nicolas to render it with some human variations of accurancy (duration, tempo) so that it doesnt sound mechanicaly played.

Hi Pukino,

As I said this is an enjoyable piece. I'd like to offer some suggestions that you may (or may not) agree may make it better.

1. I don't like the Eb harmony in bar 10 and it's similar spots throughout. I understand it's a structural thing and you use it consistently so obviously it has meaning to you. I just don't like it. Maybe you're trying to add a surprising harmonic shift, if so see if there's a way to keep the Eb, but make it less unpleasant. Just MHO.

2. See if there's a way to add some ornamentation, but keep or enhance a fluid feel. I get that you tried to do this in spots, you could do more, much more.

3. The ending is weak. String it out. Make it obvious that you're ending the piece. Endings shoul;d leave me glad I listened. I was glad I listened, but the ending didn't add the cherry on top for me. You could add at least 16 bars to this piece. Find a way to add a new twist to the old thematic stuff you've been using to give us a touch of bittersweet at the end. I'd also suggest lightening up the texture at the end, get very gentle, you might try going to that Eb harmony then shifting chromatically upwards back to G. When you get to F# hang there for longer so we really want the final resolution to G.

Well those are my suggestions, I hope they're worth more than you paid for them.

Steve: ^&%*(^&($^$£^^$£

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

*Nikolas is attacking Steve*

(/joke)

________________________

Pukino will give it a listen later on and feedback you, althopugh I remember liking Monika's piece very much (did you ever give my regards to your lovely wife?

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

loved the piece pukino! That's funny you don't like that e-flat steve, before I looked at the sheet music I knew exactly which note you meant and that's one of many things that stood out to me as being really cool! if there's one thing steve said you should ignore, it would be that e-flat comment. "unpleasant?" What the heck does that mean? What you want everything to go along nicely in a cute little major scale with no stray notes? AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGHHHH!!! *punches steve* just kidding =)

Hi friends, first for all those who attacked Steve, Stravinskis Petrushka chord:

MIDI to take delight of it (please listen 100 times ): MIDI

Enough joking,
thanks for your nice comments, I like also the Eb harmony Steve and Zom. For me its a part of the melody.
Of course I could improve the ending by adding a coda consisting of new variation thats always a good thing to do, I will do it better in the further pieces.
Anyway Nicolas, my lovely wife sends regards to you!

Pukino and Zom,

I guess I should respond, but I don't really feel like it. I'm glad to have provided a punching bag for your sophmoric sense of humor.

My objection to the Eb was because the rest of the piece is rather diatonic, so it just seems out of character. Anyone who thinks I'm a cute major scale kinda guy has not listened to my music (despite previous posts to the contrary). If it was me I would replace the D in the middle of the chord with G and A. But that's my skewed sense of harmony, yours is obviously different.

Regarding the ending if you're not interested in revising it then I'd suggest that perhaps composition is not the field for you. Composing is about a relentless pursuit of the best we can do with each piece. It's too competitive to do otherwise. If you agree that the ending is weak, make it better. There's no shame in revising your work.

Steve wrote: .....perhaps composition is not the field for you.

Ok Steve, you are right, I will sell my piano and work as mineworker :-)

But seriously,
I have no need to change the pieces everytime somebody makes a suggestion to it, of course I am thankfull for every comment, it helps me to know how the pieces are affecting you and I really think about them and it helps me to develop.
But I have still new musical ideas and prefer to create new pieces rather than to spend time on the old ones already created.

Hey Puki,

You said yourself, "of course I could improve the ending." If you agree with me on this then it's not a matter of "everytime somebody makes a suggestion," it's a matter of me making an observation with which you agree (unless you don't).

New musical ideas are always more attractive, but it's been my experience that the more successful composers are those who've honestly ascertained where they needed improvement and addressed their weaknesses. Be that as it may an easier alternative to mineworker might be the Postal service.

For example there's an 8 part BBC program on Bach on youtube (if you like Bach it's a worthwhile way to spend an hour). Somewhere in that program they observe that Bach didn't really know how to start a piece until he walked 200 miles to visit Buxtehude. Here's a link to the first segment.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZX7AJHz7HM

Good luck in your career as a mineworker (or Postal service).

Hi Peter! Hi Steve!

I would also propose working in tescos! (yet another joke)!

Okie.

I heard the solo piano piece, Peter, and it is, as I expected faithful to the orchestral version. But it is also very complete as it is, and works very nicely as a solo piano piece. You see, if you had this idea at first and decided to orchestrate it later, it would be a tad difficult (not impossible). It's just that it's such a pianistic piece that wouldn't work great lacking the piano, even with an orchestra at your desposal!

Steve, a quick question: Bar 10, has an Eb in the right hand, but it's a VII7 (F# dim) in G maj, so I don't really see the problem. Except the surprise which works great imo! I mean REALLY great! It gives a small preperation for the minor to come in the second half! It is indeed very lovely I have to say! Of course it's all opinion, but anyway.

Peter, the ending is quite a surprise. Your poor, lovely wife, was left without a goodbye! You told her that you love her, you quarelled a tiny bit, you kissed her on the doorstep before going out, and then you went "And btw, Monika, I wanted to tel you that..." then you closed the door and left. You started a new theme, a new story, a new phrase just before the ending and never got around to finish it.

It is a great practice to work on already "finished" pieces, but, as Steve says, there is no shame really! We are all here to help. It's such a pretty piece, I'm sure that Monika loves it as well, that it would be a shame not to create a better version as a present for her.

On a personal issue, there are some places that you quit the continuous 8ths on the left hand, and the whole thing is left with an awkward movement, not stillness, not yet moving as fast. I would love for those to go and keep the movement going. It is a 4% of the whole piece, so it does make an impression.

Score looks tons better than your previous one, and I do believe that QCCowboy (on youngcomposers) gave you some very nice ideas as well.

I am looking forward to hearing your new piece, or even better this one after the treatement.

Nikolas

If there were some tescos near a mine, that would be great to have two jobs! :-) Postal service from mine to tesco is a dream! :-)

Back to the piece,
ok Steve and Nikolas, I really appreciate your comments, you have persuaded me of it, I agree that a coda may make the finish of this piece more impressive. I can hear some nice continuation already, but I hope not to make the piece too long by adding new long ending variations, if I find some time after work in the mine I write it down. :-)
Steve you are right, new pieces are very atractive for me, I must confess that I never play the old pieces when I am playing the piano, I always start new ideas or the unfinished, maybe its just a bad habit but I like to find out new ideas.
And Nikolas, yes, I realised that this piece sounds good only with piano (now guess which instrument I play! :-) I will try to find some nice orchestral motives, maybe as you suggested, only for some few instruments at the beginning or in combination with the piano.