Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Piano Teachers Forum "Firing" a student

Just because you offer doesn't mean you'll have success, if you catch my meaning! If I had a problem student and they wanted a new teacher, I would most certainly talk with the teacher first, before "officially" referring them.

I totally disagree. Remember:

If the student loved lessons and practicing, it would be different. When a parent is difficult to work with and the student does not want to take lessons, case closed.

I think the most professional way to "fire" a student is to tell the parents directly in person, or at least via the telephone. I really don't think e-mail is the way to go. In fact, if my school's principal fired me by sending me an e-mail, I'd be pretty angry.

In one of my first jobs, I was dismissed via regular mail. I thought it was the most tasteless thing my employer could have done. It did feel like the cowardly thing to do.

I would normally agree except that in the OP's situation the parent has routinely caused grief and problems for the teacher. The teacher has put up with way too much. IMO, the parent doesn't deserve a phone call. An email should suffice.

Bingo.

Again, when people treat us without respect, I think we are justified in taking care of the problem as efficiently as possible. Dealing with a pain the *** one more time on the phone or in person is pointless when all has already been said.

If you don't like confrontation (I don't) then there is nothing wrong with giving reasons which are not the whole story. Like I said, this parent wants a lesson once a month. Most teacher's could not offer that as it leaves an empty slot for 3 weeks in a row. However there are some teacher's who could maybe do it if they are part time and more flexible. A few of these teacher's would even charge by the lesson with no cancellation fee so it might work out fine.

Why do you need to say you are firing them because they don't pay on time and keep failing to show up and the kid doesn't want lessons? You will just end up in an argument. Send an email saying you can't do once a month but here are some numbers of teacher's who might. If you get a call (which you won't) stick to your story. No need for confrontation. The end result is that they are gone and you are better off.

I have a question in terms of a child student, if the parent is a problem. In this particular instant it says that the child isn't interested either, so maybe it matters less (?). But surely you are also handling the break-off with the child, and not just the parent. The child has a relationship with you, and you are a weekly part of his life. Whenever he practises, it is for you and what you will say. If you just cut it off without saying anything to this person who was your student, because of what his * parent * did, how will the child feel, and will he think he did something wrong, or that you don't like him? Do you not deal with your student as well if you are breaking off the lessons under such circumstances?

I have tried many things with this mom. She can't afford to pay semesters, so I let her pay with 3 checks (1 current and 2 post dated). I send her a bill in the mail and with the student (I believe it's important for kids to see how much $ their parents are paying). She doesn't appear to look at them. She sends 3 checks, but they are in random amounts.

The no shows aren't a biggie, but it is usually on "pay day" (among others) that she doesn't show. That means I have to wait another week to get paid, then I have to make a new bill with the late fee on it, and adjust the bill again for the incorrect amounts that she sends. (she doesn't bring her daughter, so I can't ask her for the $ right then).

I got an email from mom yesterday. "why do I owe this Thursday?" I answered her "because payment is due on the first lesson of the month". She replied with "I believe this Thursday IS the first lesson of the month". Ummm, yeah, that's why it's due! Seriously, those are the types of communications I have with mom.

Daughter is a delight, otherwise I would have ended this long ago. I feel bad for DD because apparently mom tries to run rough shod over other people in DD's life too.



I agree. This mom questions everything already. She seems to thrive on confrontation, that's why I am so leary of calling.



No! I would never, ever do that! I would never cancel things without talking it over with the student! you're absolutely right, that would be extremely unfair to the innocent bystander (the daughter).

Well there is a school of thought that says that one should be respectful to all (even if they are not necessarily reciprocal). It's a slippery slope once you start down the path of justifying why it's ok to be "rude" to certain individuals/groups.

I understand that there are realities to any human interactions, but just something to consider.

I guess it depends on if one considers sending an email instead of a phone call as 'being rude'. I don't. No one is advocating verbally bashing the parent. For some people, gathering one's thoughts in a clear, concise way is done better in the form of a letter, rather than in a phone call where the parent can respond out of emotion, then we respond back, etc....

For what its worth, I agree with BitW, if you're a professional, you act like it, no matter how the other person acts.

Am I missing something, though, didn't you post the daughter said the only reason she is taking lessons is because she has to? Even though she is a nice and sweet student, why continue if the energy and desire aren't there?

Perhaps you might be more comfortable writing a letter to sever your relationship. From your description of the parent, she seems the sort that will most likely will try to cause a scene no matter how you handle this situation.

Keep in mind, word of mouth gets around very quickly. No matter if the parent causes a scene, as long as you keep your cool and are professional, you are the better person, and your conduct will reflect the same. You have no reason to feel guilty because you need to separate yourself from this situation. There will be another student with a parent who is supportive.

I agree with *not* dropping the student via email. If you cannot communicate effectively with the mom via email(according to your previous post), then this is not the best way to tell her. I think a phone call is probably best. I do a lot of my "serious" talks with parents over the phone, because it is still personal, while not taking up someone's lesson time to discuss it (and not discussing it in front of the child if it is a sensitive issue). You may not like it, but I think it is the right thing to do. Be very calm, and I recommend being non-accusatory, as that would only end in arguing. I would simply say, "Your desire to have lessons once a month is not something that I agree with, and so here are some colleagues of mine who may be able to accommodate you." Leave it at that, and be insistent if she tries to back down. Let her know you do not feel you are the right teacher for her, and she really can't argue that.

"I'm sorry, but it seems like the rules of my studio do not jive with you and your daughter taking lessons here. I expect students to attend every week, and I expect full payments promptly when due and it seems that you wish things to be otherwise.

Under the current circumstances, I believe it to be in both our best interests that you find another teacher for the summer/fall term.

I wish little Susie the best. She is such a nice little girl."

Notice that I left off that it is your responsibility to find the next teacher? That is their problem, once you are out of the picture.

Good luck!

I wouldn't use the word "jive." Now ... here's a guy who'll do the dirty work for you - Joe Pesci.



As George Carlin said once ... "he looks like a guy who can get things done."

Ha ha. That would take care of things, wouldn't it?!
maybe I should just start with the knee caps tho...Wouldn't want to break any fingers!

Actually, that would be hillarious! Have Joe Pesci go after piano students who "get outta line."

"Oh stewardess, I speak jive!"

Hmmmm...

I wasn't sure quite what the right word would be and being as tired as I am right now, that is all I could come up with...but I think the 'idea' got across. What is the word I was trying to think of?

I was thinking dance with / in sinc / ???

At least E/I got it!

I think you meant "jibe," lilylady.

But even "jibe" is a bit too informal in this context, I think. I'd say "it seems like the rules of my studio are a mismatch to your needs and preferences..."

I've always said Jive. I must have more soul