Heeeeeeeelpppp!
Sometimes, more important things take precedent Santa...





Hiccup...

Christmas gift ideas




























and
























or























or

There were probably many, many times this year when


I may have.....

Disturbed You,
Troubled You,
Pestered You,
Irritated You,
Bugged You,
or got on your Nerves!!


So today, I just wanted to tell you....
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Suck it up Cupcake!!

Cause there

AIN'T NO CHANGES

Planned for 2011!!

Christmas Carolers



































Bad cat






























Smile it's Christmas






























Lose a few pounds Santa

I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore I am Perfect.





I have kleptomania,
But when it gets bad,
I take something for it.

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!
Except that one where you're naked in church.

My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

In just two days from now,
Tomorrow will be yesterday.

I may be schizophrenic,
But at least I have each other.

Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

Merry Christmas to all the tuner/techs here. I posted some pics of my piano here.

Howie, very nice pictures of your piano that you posted above!!! Looks pristine!!!!! Send me a song?!

Enjoy everyone...

I'm a steam roller baby
















Sounds good to me


















Standin on the corner watchin all the cats go by

We're going to Granny's this week for din din so off to granny's I goes.



Watch it buddy!!!



I stuck! I stuck!!



And you thought you were cute?

To much home work....



How old are you again? Stupid humans, here we go again... I scratch you soon...



A little closer, closer now,, more,,, more,,,,



OOPS!

Lecture Tour with A Difference

On New Year's Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. 'What are you doing out here at four o'clock in the morning?' asked the police officer.

'I'm on my way to a lecture,' answered Roger.

'And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year's Eve?' enquired the constable sarcastically.

'My wife,' slurred Daniel grimly.
---------------------------------------------
A New Year's Wish

On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.

Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck - the bartender was almost crushed to death.
-----------------------------------
New Year Jokes - One Liners

To kick start my New Year, I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.

When I thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year.
I gave up thinking.

Definition of a hangover:
Wrath of Grapes.
------------------------------------
Ten Indications of a New Year Hangover

1. You get it into your head that chirping birds are the Devil's pets.
2. Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to "Stay still."
3. Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as drinking a glass of fresh paint.
4. The bathroom reminds you of the fairground cry, "Step right up and give it whirl!"
5. You'd rather chew tacks than be exposed to sunlight.
6. You set aside an entire afternoon to spend some quality time with your toilet.
7. You replace the traditional praying on your knees with the more feasible praying in a fetal position.
8. Your catch phrase is, "Never again."
9. You could purchase a new fridge on the proceeds from recycling the bottles around your bed.
10. Your new response to "Good morning," is "Be quiet!"

Yappy Who Near everyone. Here's wishing you the best one ever!!!!

Jer

So...who is Roger?

I donno... I'm just the "post it man." Maybe his twin brodda?

Have a Happy New Year with more fish














































Oh please have a Happy New Year

If you're into Irony....

I'm a Sea GULL, got that!? I can do what I want so, feed me!



OK, will do. I'll just walk around it instead, no problem.



Don't know what to say about this one.

Got more for ya..



A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Larry?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'



Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter, asked Larry 'Giving up?'



The math teacher saw that Larry wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, 'Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?' Larry quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'



Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him.' Larry asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ? "



Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Larry asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Larry, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ......'

I am now ready for the storm


























Friends are forever

































I need to test the drinking water

Here's a very thoughtful driver.

Reese is a great actress with or without a spoon































Smile for the camera



























I should have practiced more

Technical support:

Tap your paws 3 times and say There's No Place Like Home





















Moonlight Serenade



































I started off as a road musician

Old Farmer's Advice

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered…...not yelled.

Meanness don't just happen overnight.

Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

Every path has a few puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Most of the stuff people worry about, ain't never gonna happen anyway.

Don 't judge folks by their relatives.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Live a good and honorable life, then when you get older and think back,
You'll enjoy it a second time.

Don 't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with,
Watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, and leave the rest to God.

Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.

I have that framed up on my wall...no kidding! Good advice.

Hey, this thread is less than 50,000 views away from a million!!

I'm having a piano burning party - BYOB



































Abby Road


























This guitar has that broke in look to it

Watch there buddy! I kick your BUTT's all over the place!!


A lil racy?


What's for dinner tonight?

You young people go ahead and laugh, you too will be there before you know it.

Garage Door

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open.. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.

As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'

He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'
She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini-van with two flat tires..

Two elderly gentlemen

from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

Hospital regulations

require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. 'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'

Couple in their nineties

are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure..'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast ?'

A senior citizen

said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'

Three old guys

are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'

Morris,

an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'


One more.. . .!
A little old man

shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

My old golfing buddy, Tom & and his wife, had to take his dad, 94, to the Doctor, they felt Alzheimer was starting to set in. Into the exam room they went, the Doctor proceeded to ask him a bunch of questions; who was the first president, how old he was, where he was born...etc. My friend and his dad went back out into the waiting room for a bit, his dad looked at him and said, 'the Doctor asked me lot of questions in there, didn't he?' Tom replied 'yes he did'. His dad looked him straight in the eye and said 'at my age, what do I need to know all that for?' kinda makes you think, don't it?

btw, this is a true story

Geesh, I just about forgot how to post a picture!
This thread is still going strong!
Just a "note" to post to say I'm still watching! . . . wink!
Just a blast from the past!



guess I have forgotten! will try this again! . . .

Just wanted to let you all know that I'm "back"! . . . wink!

Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in! Welcome back Diane!!! You manage to get married yet???

It's cold here tonight. Supposed to be something like 2 degree's.

What some people do when it snows...





Ahhhhh CHEWWWW! Or, is he going to barf???







Here's what the guy two pictures above wants!





You know you've had enough of winter when..........