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#1225014 - 06/30/09 11:33 AM Piano Sonata in E♭ - "Mo Ghrá"
Stevenup7002 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 06/30/09
Posts: 13
Loc: Ireland
Hi guys,
I just completed my first piano sonata, entitled "Mo Ghrá", which translates from Irish to English into "My Love". It consists of three movements, each of which are quite short in comparison to movements of other piano sonatas.

1. "Infatuation" YouTube - Mo Ghra? (Mvmt 1) - Steven O'Brien
2. "Heartache" YouTube - Mo Ghrá (Mvmt 2) - Steven O'Brien
3. "Love" YouTube - Mo Ghra? (Mvmt 3) - Steven O'Brien

Please tell me what you think,
-Steve

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#1225200 - 06/30/09 04:58 PM Re: Piano Sonata in E♭ - "Mo Ghrá" [Re: Stevenup7002]
Hrodulf Offline
500 Post Club Member

Registered: 02/02/09
Posts: 831
Loc: New York City
I listened to it. I think you should completely re-imagine this piece as it suffers from a lack of proper musical development of your ideas.

I'm working on one now that I have to change also. I make a shift from e flat to c major at the end and I don't think it's good, also there are a few chords in my third strain I don't particularly like.
_________________________
Learning:
Beethoven op 27 no 1 allegro vivace
J.S. Bach wtc book I prelude 10, fugue 10
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#1225689 - 07/01/09 03:14 PM Re: Piano Sonata in E♭ - "Mo Ghrá" [Re: Hrodulf]
pno Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Registered: 08/27/05
Posts: 1042
Loc: ♪oron♪o, on♪ario, canada...
Very cute! Puppy love?
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#1225693 - 07/01/09 03:17 PM Re: Piano Sonata in E♭ - "Mo Ghrá" [Re: Hrodulf]
8ude Offline
2000 Post Club Member

Registered: 01/21/04
Posts: 2050
I agree with Hrodulf - there really isn't much in the way of development in this work. Some of the ideas you have are decent, but without proper development, they're just that - ideas. Due to this lack of development, the piece seemed (to me) very amateurish and trying to please beyond its means.

Another point, and this is very subjective, I didn't get any sense of "infatuation" from the first movement. For me, it just didn't seem to fit with the sub-title.

If you are going to call this a sonata, then I think that you will need to re-imagine this as H said, as well as put more effort into development. While the definition of what constitutes a sonata has gotten pretty loose over the years, the term sonata still brings to mind certain formal aspects, which I think are lacking in this.

I was not too keen on the harmonic scheme you used, as it just seemed a little too plain for me - I could have used a little more experimentation harmonically. I'm not saying go crazy and make it atonal or anything, but there's a wide range of harmonic colors available to you, why not use more of them?

One thing I did like is the last movement. I think that the idea you have there is a good one, though as I mentioned before, I think it could do with some more development, and it did seem to end pretty abruptly.

Personally, if it were me doing it, I would scrub the first two movements and develop the third movement as a standalone piece (and not call it a Sonata). Of course this is your effort, so you do what you want with it - just my two cents...
_________________________
What you are is an accident of birth. What I am, I am through my own efforts. There have been a thousand princes and there will be a thousand more. There is one Beethoven.

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#1225829 - 07/01/09 07:47 PM Re: Piano Sonata in E♭ - "Mo Ghrá" [Re: 8ude]
Stevenup7002 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 06/30/09
Posts: 13
Loc: Ireland
Originally Posted By: pno
Very cute! Puppy love?

Quite =P

Originally Posted By: 8ude
I agree with Hrodulf - there really isn't much in the way of development in this work. Some of the ideas you have are decent, but without proper development, they're just that - ideas. Due to this lack of development, the piece seemed (to me) very amateurish and trying to please beyond its means.

Another point, and this is very subjective, I didn't get any sense of "infatuation" from the first movement. For me, it just didn't seem to fit with the sub-title.

If you are going to call this a sonata, then I think that you will need to re-imagine this as H said, as well as put more effort into development. While the definition of what constitutes a sonata has gotten pretty loose over the years, the term sonata still brings to mind certain formal aspects, which I think are lacking in this.

I was not too keen on the harmonic scheme you used, as it just seemed a little too plain for me - I could have used a little more experimentation harmonically. I'm not saying go crazy and make it atonal or anything, but there's a wide range of harmonic colors available to you, why not use more of them?

One thing I did like is the last movement. I think that the idea you have there is a good one, though as I mentioned before, I think it could do with some more development, and it did seem to end pretty abruptly.

Personally, if it were me doing it, I would scrub the first two movements and develop the third movement as a standalone piece (and not call it a Sonata). Of course this is your effort, so you do what you want with it - just my two cents...


Would it make you happy if I called it a sonatina instead?

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#1225933 - 07/01/09 11:08 PM Re: Piano Sonata in E♭ - "Mo Ghrá" [Re: Stevenup7002]
8ude Offline
2000 Post Club Member

Registered: 01/21/04
Posts: 2050
Don't concern yourself with what would make me happy. There's no way to please everyone, and everyone will have a different opinion. Like the great Bill Cosby said "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone". This is your piece - do with it what you will and don't worry about pleasing everyone.

That said, there's nothing wrong with soliciting and accepting constructive criticism, which is what I hope I've offered to you in my previous post. Take my comments however you like, but ultimately do what you think is right for this piece and for you as a composer.
_________________________
What you are is an accident of birth. What I am, I am through my own efforts. There have been a thousand princes and there will be a thousand more. There is one Beethoven.

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#1225941 - 07/01/09 11:24 PM Re: Piano Sonata in E♭ - "Mo Ghrá" [Re: 8ude]
Hrodulf Offline
500 Post Club Member

Registered: 02/02/09
Posts: 831
Loc: New York City


Edited by Hrodulf (07/01/09 11:25 PM)
_________________________
Learning:
Beethoven op 27 no 1 allegro vivace
J.S. Bach wtc book I prelude 10, fugue 10
Exercises

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#1228264 - 07/07/09 06:56 PM Re: Piano Sonata in E♭ - "Mo Ghrá" [Re: Stevenup7002]
adamscottneal Offline
Full Member

Registered: 06/19/09
Posts: 36
Loc: New Jersey
I agree with the other folks that the third movement is the most promising. It has nice melodic content, but I feel that some variety in the accompaniment, as it is simply broken-chord quavers throughout.

It would be very helpful to check out those links on sonata form - they will make the piece hang together better. For one, the slow movement should be in the middle. I think the (current) second movement is alright too, and would make a better finale, although I suppose it would change the story you're trying to tell.

Two, try to identify the bits you really like the best. If you listen hard, you'll probably find that some of what you've written isn't as good as you'd hoped. Strip things down to those bits you really like, and rework it, perhaps in some classic forms like sonata, rondo, and theme-and-variations.
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