I had a small second job that paid for my piano lessons. I was told today that is over as they can't afford me anymore. I figured this was coming and have been dreading it.

My husband is supportive of my playing but slightly resentful of the money spent for lessons (he thinks I can play anything and don't really need lessons). My second job kept that to a minimum.

Now I don't know how I'm going to pay for lessons. In this day and age I know I'm lucky to have the main job, much less a second one for a luxury like piano lessons. Nobody else I know really understands so I thought I'd whine to the board.

Go get another second job.

Or get rid of your husband.

Maybe both.

Really sorry to hear that. I wish you the best in finding another second job.

How much are your lessons?

Sorry to hear that.
Perhaps you could work out a barter arrangement with your teacher; e.g. you bake these amazing pies and exchange them for lessons.

Ooops...never mind the pies. I just read your signature line.

You could...

- try to find a replacement second job
- reduce your lessons (i.e. from weekly to semi monthly)
- "find" the money you need for lessons by reducing your expenses elsewhere.

This website has some tips that could help you in that regard.
http://www.moneyinstructor.com/saving.asp

Well, I already only have lessons every other week. I hope not to go longer than that between lessons.

We've already reduced our expenses about as far as possible. We shut off our internet and cable TV a couple of months ago. Aside from occasionally eating out, we don't spend much money. I haven't seen a movie in a theater in probably 5 years...I don't even remember the last time we rented one. Music is really my only hobby or "expense".

Hubby is from a very...frugal...German-American farm family and he always looks for the 'dirt free or cheap' way of doing things

The hard part (aside from finding a job of any kind in this economic climate) is finding one that pays enough to cover the lessons but doesn't have me working so many hours I can't practice. That kind of defeats the purpose.

Oh well. I will eventually figure something out...

LOL

As my husband says...I can cook...I just don't

No more internet? There is a lot of free resource on the web. You could buy some books or get it free at public library.

Serge

maybe you could sell stuff? a lot of ppl have loads of stuff at home they don't need anymore... and in this financial climate I'm fairly sure ppl are quite happy to buy second hand if you have some old wooden furniture that needs some TLC you can just sand it down and put a new coat of paint on it and it might find a buyer just make sure you know what stuff is worth... ppl sometimes own valuable things and don't know it

or you could give piano lessons? not sure how good you are, but maybe a child or too in your neighborhood would like to learn?

Good luck!

This is ridiculous. Are you on the bones of your arse or are you really stuck for money? How much do lessons cost in Phoenix? In NZ they'd probably be around $30-$40 for a half hour (estimating here as I don't have lessons). Do you have dependents at home? Do you have a big mortgage? If not, just keep on with the lessons. If hubby has to choose between you and lessons then????????? This is obviously your sanity and passion. Unfortunately, many women tend to be in your shoes as they tend to be a bit "subordinate".

Makes my blood boil.

I swap piano lessons for proof reading with a guy originally from Armenia (so English is his second or possibly even third language). He's a trained piano teacher and a conservatory pianist and gives me an hour or an hour and a half a week, and I just proof read and edit content for his website/proof read some of the things he writes for his PHD. As a bonus I'm now an expert on Berg's violin concerto :-D

Any chance you could be of use to a local pianist?

I think one of the issues might be how lessons might be viewed. To your husband they might be an extravagant luxury. To you they might be a necessity.

I think there might be some compromise to this. If you are taking every week, switch to every other week, for example.

Frugality is fine and admirable, but when it keeps you from doing something you have a passion for, and value highly, it might foster resentment, and bitterness.
Please note, I am speaking in general terms, and am not trying to speculate on your specific situation or relationship.

Best of luck.

Angelas reply was maybe a little drastic but there is some truth in it. It's not a good idea to skip lessons just because your husband is not completely happy about the expense. Would you get major problems with paying the bills if you continued lessons? If yes, then you certainly should stop temporary until the income is better. In other case just be creative and keep looking for opportunities for a second job. Since I have no idea of your skills or what opportunities there might be in your area it's not possible for to give any specific ideas or advice, but trust me, even in hard times there could always be some way of a second income again. I am sure you can figure something out. I will keep my thumbs crossed!

If you have a reasonbly kind and intelligent husband it might very well help to to simply explain the benifits of having lessons.

When you don't have a lot of money and need to cut down on fun and useful things like cable and internet, then maybe it might important to keep at least something that you enjoy?

Sometimes husbands don't realize HOW important something is to you until you tell them. I think there is another side that he probably doesn't consciously recognize -- but that your "expense" gives HIM joy. My husband loves to hear me practice. He loves the way the sound fills the house. He's a sports nut and always has some sport related thing LOUD on the television (even when there's no sports on).

But as soon as I hit that first key, the volume of the television goes down (not off, mind you, LOL). I even bought head phones (we have a digital with weighted keys) so my practicing wouldn't bother him and I used it ONCE. After he asked why he couldn't hear me practice and I said, "Well, you were watching so and so..." He said, "I can still hear."

This rather long explanation is to show you that if you've cut off the internet and cable -- he's benefiting/enjoying/being entertained from your lessons. My husband, too, doesn't believe I need lessons (just started again), BUT says, "If the lessons keep you at the piano, it's worth EVERY PENNY."

Susan

P.S. When I told him that my teacher urged us to buy an acoustic piano, he said that we should start saving for one and created an ING account for a piano! At $25 a month, we'll have enough for a grand in a 1000 months.

What level of a pianist are you? If you are pretty advance (or if you have the courage), you can start teaching kids in your neighborhood. It is a good extra money! I am a frugal person too, so to pay my $80/hr lesson, I teach two of my friends to play piano. Unfortunately, my piano teacher is kind of money hungry person. He spends more than what he makes, so he often force me to take more lesson. Never once, however, did I feel a waste of money taking lesson from him. He can always teach me something new and good for me. Therefore, I am ok.

Well, in the husband in question's defense, I had not yet talked to him when I posted originally. I just got an email from my part-time boss and was thinking, "Oh No! Now what??" (I did say I was whining to the board)

He was raised in one of those families where everything that is for fun or personal enjoyment and does not make money (ie-'for the farm') is a wasteful and extravagant expense. Yet he's the one who insisted we buy the piano, so he's not a horrible person...it's just the ongoing expense he doesn't see the need for. He thinks I'm a world-class pianist (hah) and doesn't understand why I need lessons. He also tells people I can sight-read any piano music ever written perfectly (also hah). He owns a couple of instruments himself (including a banjo, god help me) on which he...well...makes random noises occasionally. He's perfectly happy with that arrangement. Since he does not want or need the structure of lessons and regular practice to fully enjoy himself with an instrument, he doesn't think I should either.

Anyway, having been married to him for the better part of 3 decades, I approached it like this, "If you want to fight about it, we can fight, but I'm continuing to take lessons whether or not I find another part-time job and if you don't like it that's just too bad." He hasn't said much...yet.

I knew you'd get there.

Sometimes, it's a matter of making priorities, I used to sacrifice a lot of things so I could take lessons as a college student about 10 years ago.

Meri

I like the idea of a trade. I would do that for a student who was doing well at the piano but was in a tempoary financial situation.

Keep up the music at any rate.

Good Luck

Yeah...Basia.C...I was a bit over the top...typical...I tend to open my gob before putting the brain in gear and get on a soapbox. Still, sounds like the lessons are still going ahead at this stage. Sometimes you've just got to push the issue. You need to get away for lessons to get away from the banjo...blimey charlie.

Great to hear that you will stay with the lessons! It does sound that you are getting pretty good at piano. Why not follow some peoples advice here and try to find a way to get some income from your piano skills? That would really be solving the problem in an enjoyable way.

If your husband does say something about the cost, just sit down at the piano and start playing his favorite piece. I bet he starts smiling instead of complaining.

Yeah or you can go to your nearest Barns & Noble and purchase a self study book. That's How I learned to play. Two in a half hours a day.

Keep up with the lessons. If it is that important to you hubby should be supportive.

It is sad that you lost your second job, and now are unable to take piano lessons. However, You should be able to do practicing on your own for a while--until the economy improves. Many are learning to be frugal in such times.

Several people on the forum have already made excellent suggestions as to how you can bring in additional money, so I won't repeat what they have said.

What is important thing is that this does not become an issue between you and your husband. Things are difficult for many people at this time. I don't want to sound unsympathetic, but you do have a roof over your head, and a job. One of my dearest friends not only lost her job, butso did her husband and now they are facing foreclosure and are about to lose their home. She had to sell her lovely piano, just to be able to put food on her table.

I only mention this in the hopes that you will take comfort in the fact that you still have your piano, a loving husband, a job and your home.

Many people on this forum are self-teaching, and are doing remarkably well. So give it a try.

I do hope that things improve financially for you so that you can resume your lessons. But in the meantime, just get in and practice. Gaby Tu

Prodigal, I have always enjoyed your comments, and I think you have the heart of a teacher, if that's what you'd like to try to help pay for lessons. I'm sure your current teacher could help you along with the teachers in the forum here. There are many other options too, like playing for a church, weddings, schools, accompanying students at Solo/Ensemble contests or other competitions...you name it! Why not let the source of contention between you and your hubby be sustained by making money to pay for it? It's a never-ending cycle of making and spending money doing the very same thing!

A bit OT, I have a frugal hubby to. He's currently looking to buy a new truck with the cash for clunkers deal, but he's having a hard time justifying to himself that he needs a new truck (his older one runs fine), and so today he suggested to me that we could change our dish tv service to save $15/month. I looked at him with a little smile and said, "oh good! Now you can afford that truck you wanted!"

It may seem silly to some, and downright oppressive to others, but I think we balance each other out. I believe we need to indulge a little, and he is always hunkering down. I humor him when he wants to hunker, and he humors me when I want to splurge. Other times, not. But the thing that is very important is that whatever you do, you both agree on it. I don't need to tell you that after your 30 years together, this is more for those who criticize your husband without really knowing the full picture. I don't know it either, but I suspect our men are similar. I'm sure he'd be very supportive of you starting your own business teaching or performing (or both) to help cover lessons, and who knows? Maybe you'd make enough to help in other areas too.