Every fall, my teacher sends out a little email to all his students with helpful suggestions like, "You really should practice between lessons. Piano is complicated, and if you don't practice, you will not learn it!"

I just received this fall's email, and noticed a new addition to his suggestions!

"... do not bring smelly chemical substances into our classroom ..."

LOL! You know, I'm absolutely dying to know what kinds of "smelly chemical substances" people are bringing to class now! (I wonder if he MEANT perfume/cologne, but wouldn't it be easier to have just said... )

My mind boggles, but it gave me a laugh (and I don't wear perfume or carry chemicals around, so this one for sure isn't MY fault!)

If I can make a crazier, sillier request....that would be to add to his request as follows:

"Do not bring smelly chemical substances into our classroom...."because they collide and combine with the smelly chemical substances that are already present."

I hope that did justice to a very unprofessional email - for instance, if I were a parent of an enrolled student this would set alarms off in my head about what was lurking on the premises.

I would suggest that your teacher try very hard to make proactive statements about his teaching and his business. The "bumble" of words may be funny in a humorous way, but taken literally, it leaves a lot to be desired.

I used to wonder how it would work for prospective students when I used to read studio policies that said..."there are no bathroom toilets on the premises one will have to go before coming for their lesson." If a teacher I was considering had that policy, I would have felt disenfranchised. I don't think I could enroll with someone with that restriction. That's a serious exclusion to have as when "it" is needed it's a necessary thing to have on the premises.

So, life goes on. I guess it's important to be able to laugh whenever possible. I just wouldn't want to pay for the intelligence that writes stuff like that. I'm sure you like, enjoy, and maybe understand this teacher very well, and I, am just "spoofing" about the "exchanges" we sometimes have with our students and the public in general.

What a humorous request! I assume it might be about perfumes, but the teacher did not want to exclude other substanses that can cause allergy problems, so the wording turned out not to be a successful one.

Betty, I enjoy wearing perfume occasianally so I would really appreciate to get information if it is a problem for someone. Therefore I dont' find it strange at all to add that kind of thing in a "welcome back"-letter. As for the toilet thing in your post, I would like to know about it so that I don't sign up with a teacher who has no toilets available.

I would take the remark with a grain of salt. It obviously doesn't pertain to you so just let it slide. Some really brilliant people have a very random sense of humour...

Does he teach teenage kids? If so, perhaps someone happened to take a few stink bombs to the lesson and accidentally broke them

Well, I think those awful products marketed to teenage boys as making them irresistible fall more under the category of "smelly chemical substances" than the category of cologne, perfume or aftershave... (they smell like cat pee to me)

maybe that's what was being referred to?

In all fairness, English isn't his first language... the way it was written just struck me as funny...

He also mentions not putting on nail polish, so I wonder if some siblings sit in on lessons, and are doing their nails in there? The smells would absolutely bother me, so I don't blame him, but.. I would have said it a bit differently

Just curious, why do you think that this request is unprofessional? After reading that, I would think that there would be nothing "lurking on the premises" since he is opposed to chemicals.


Perhaps he just wanted to cover all his bases. I would not be offended at all if I got a request like that. Nail polish is SO strong! If someone were doing that I certainly would ask them not to.

It's not just the cologne/perfumes that kids wear, but also a lot of the deodorants, antiperspirants, hair sprays, after shaves, gels, etc that can be overwhelming when you are sitting close.

I have asked kids to cut back on the smelly stuff, like Prodigal suggests, those sprays aimed at teenagers are just toxic!

It reminds me of the "no smoking in restaurants" laws that are being introduced these days in a lot of States.

It's not good enough for an independent business owner to decide whether to allow smoking or not.
You know, it could be as easy as putting up a sign on the front door that reads, "Smoking Allowed"
Thus making it your choice to enter and his choice to allow smoking.
But, nooooooooo... the government has to force the independent business owner to make his entire establishment smoke free regardless of advertising on the front door.
Hence, freedom of choice is removed from the person who owns the place.

And then before you know it, François' Bar & Bistro is replaced with Federal Food & Drug Administration Rationing Center.

By the way, I don't smoke

Good luck !
AC

(once again, my reply is a rhetorical metaphor and not necessarily a secular indictment...)

Actually two things about that. First, it is partly about the employees of the establishment. They have to go to the smoking sections, and may be exposed to more second hand smoke than a typical smoker gets first hand (since they are in it all day long). And worker protection laws are defiantly OK in my book.

Secondly there are probably a lot of establishments that would love to be smoke free. But if they do it, and the bar down the street doesn't, they will lose business. So by making it a law, it helps with improving public health without forcing business owners to make the choice between better health or going out of business.

Not that I'm trying to push any view one way or the other, but usually these two issues don't come up in this type of discussion.

Once again... again... my reply is a rhetorical metaphor and not necessarily a secular indictment...

AC

I have a "No Perfume" rule in my classroom because some scents immediately block up my sinuses and give me a headache. I think many people assume their taste in perfume or cologne is just lovely so they put way too much on, thereby imposing it on us all. This is a rather egocentric assumption. There's nothing worse that sitting in my very expensive symphony seat only to find someone has loaded on an awful smelling perfume that makes me cough, my eyes water, my nose run and my sinuses block up.

According to Lyall Watson in his book "Jacobson's Organ", the ability to discern odors is much more developed in females than males. This, he says, accounts for the frequent overuse of cologne by guys. A guy takes a bath in his favorite cologne and we gals are blown into the next room by the scent.

Bottom line, don't use scents but if you must, follow my Mom's instructions: spray the air and walk through the spray. The only person who should be able to smell your scent is the person kissing you!

Now, if the smelly chemical substance is the salami sandwich I had for lunch, well sorry, you'll have to put up with it, (although I do try to be courteous about my lunch selection before a lesson.)

What is unprofessional about this email from the teacher in the first place? He/she had a concern and felt the need to address it. Parents can contact him/her directly for clarification. Perhaps the teacher could have elaborated as to exactly what the toxic chemical issue is about. But if folks are concerned, they should contact him directly.
I've had students and parents bring their pet rats, snakes, and dogs to their lessons in my studio. Young students have clogged the toilet and sink. They've left the front door open and let flying insects in. I'm sure we all have stories

Well, for the record, I have no problems at all with the policy. I too hate smelly chemical substances in all forms and get frequent headaches from people who insist on bathing in their perfumes.

Just thought the wording was funny. It was definitely not what I was expecting when I opened this year's "welcome back to class" email

Had my first Fall lesson tonight, glad to be back... and I asked about the "chemical substances".

He said he's had people (before some event) bring in SHOE POLISH and shine their shoes, and also had a mom who brought in nail polish, and nail polish removal, to give herself a manicure while he was teaching her child.

Yikes! Who knew?