Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Pianist Corner - Non Classical Let's Talk Weddings

Greg, your post is priceless. "eastern variable time signature approximating 13/8" ROFLMAO!

Not just "girl" singers. Our bass player is fond of saying that one of our singers "only comes in on prime numbers" (excluding 1, of course). He can be seen signaling each bar of an eight bar break with his hands in one song, not realizing that any musician who needs to count to eight might as well hang it up.

In the first real band I was in all the singers were also musicians. This gave me a unrealistically rosy view of the rhythm and harmony skills of singers.


Sure. You can use the extension cord to lash your keyboard stand to a support pole on a rocking ferry, for instance. You can use the duct tape and a cocktail napkin as an ersatz bandage when you cut yourself carrying your gear through a dark hallway. I've done both.

But I find that you need a great deal more as well. I invited someone to feel the heft of my accessories bag after I was already set up. With all the spare cables, tape, sunscreen, bug repellent, band-aids, outlet tester, multi-tip screwdriver, pliers, ac adapters, extra pedal and other stuff, it must still weigh 15 pounds.

I thought this wedding video was rather charming, and not too far off the mark for this topic:
Wedding March video.

And the follow-up video 6 months later:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbr2ao86ww0

I think "unforgettable" pretty well says it. It looked wonderfully fun, and, actually, quite loving. There are a lot of bridezillas out there who have made a lot less out of a lot more.

Thanks for posting this one. I think it's edged out the dog playing the piano and singing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXcKrq2hEnE

and the Toddlers and Tiaras thread
conservatory politics
on Piano Teachers forum.

One is funny, one is appalling, but Lets Talk Weddings carries off the honors once again.

Great, great, great! Love all of these videos! Too bad the dancing bride didn't have live music. That would have made it better, but you can't have everything. Getting the wedding party to dance is one thing, getting them to play is another.

Jeff, there's a dog who comes to Lerbach (the castle where I play) who sings just like the video dog, but only when I play music from Phantom of the Opera. I have chosen to think that the dog is not really singing, but is in fact protesting, that there's something about the music from that show that truly offends him. Hard to tell.

I'm sending a sub to tomorrow's castle wedding, because I've been asked to do a reading at an art opening. The cocktail party will be swanky and oh so stimulating, but, alas, no piano, so once I'm finished with the reading I'll have to hobnob and chitchat and eat stuffed mushrooms like a normal person. Blah. And I'll have nothing to report on our wedding forum. See, that's the thing about these brides, I actually start missing them when they're not around.

Greg, looking forward to hearing how the rest of the week went for you. I hope the duct tape and extension cord technique carried you through the gig marathon.

It's gaffer's tape, Robin. I, too, was colorblind in that range, but Greg has opened my eyes. I use the little mnemonic, "If your mike cords stick, get gaffer's tape quick."

No cocktails-at-the-castle for me this week, and no brides. I'm trying to exercise a bit of restraint at Barnes & Noble, with less success than I'd like. Books (mostly about music and musicians) and CDs, trying to sprint ahead with my music education, but unlikely to show, let alone place. Still, it costs less and is less annoying than going back to university... or even taking piano lessons; that's a big-ticket item these days, and chancy, considering the very uneven quality on offer.

I have discovered some things that are priceless: Lizst, Ravel, Claudio Arrau, Rubenstein, Alkan, Buxtehude, and some other things that I like less but which may grow on me as I get more used to them. It's like trying to drink down a vast ocean--- you just can't. However, I have a budget--- and only so much capacity to soak the information up.

But otherwise, I might be bored--- and I have non-barking dogs that don't play the piano.

So... you're reading from your new book, Rhythm, at this party?

As I mentioned upthread, it's a busy week for our band. Last night we played at a testimonial dinner/fundraiser for a local charity.

The place was of recent vintage and tastefully decorated. There was ample and convenient parking and the way in didn't involve kitchens, sub-basements, rope ladders or moats. There was a sensible place for a band to play with electricity close by. The food was decent.

The guests were nicely attired and well behaved. They were young enough to be ambulatory without being young enough to be conspicuously foolish. Their cause and the effort they put into it seemed admirable. They kept their presentations brief and to the point.

What a disappointment

Work with me people! Throw me a bone. A few women in experimental attire maybe. A self-appointed Expert On All Things. A kitchen floor greasy enough to do a Triple Toe Loop on. Requests for our (male) singers to do "Bobby's Girl" or "It's Raining Men". A few drunks, for pity's sake.

There was one woman whose dancing was worthy of note. She was in her late fifties, compactly built and energetic. After one number I leaned over to the sax player and said, "Suddenly I have an urge to go to Six Flags". For those who don't watch TV in the US, her dancing was very reminiscent of this commercial:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UXonaoq0Xk&feature=related

The marathon continues; 4 jobs between Friday and Sunday. I guess I should hope for them to go smoothly, but I need at least a little bit of material, don't I?

Wish me luck.

You're kidding, of course -

but it's a great story otherwise!

Cathy

You've got the writer's curse, Greg! Although it's a blessing as well; at least when something completely outrageous happens, you know you'll be able to write about it, thereby turning a bad situation into a good situation. Or something like that.

Jeff, I'm not reading form Rhythm this evening. I was hired to write a piece (of prose) about a musician who is also a wonderful painter. My piece is in English, so I can count on about 50% of the audience zoning out on me, but hey, I'm a cocktail pianist in my other life, so I'm used to that.

Experienced speakers say that keeping the audience awake is 90% of the game, even if you have to throw a firecracker under their chair every once in a while. Laughing is good: it makes them breathe and that sends oxygen to the brain. And the rest of them will wake up and wonder what they missed.

I once had a teacher who was both humorless and quite neurotic... with a deathly horror of saying the words, "I don't know." It's all about "face" with some people. For awhile, she used to make up answers to questions, if she didn't know the real answer... well, some of the students were pretty smart, and she got caught a few times. Not good for face, and she did back off from that practice. You guessed it--- it cost me a letter grade, but I was fairly grade-insensitive back then, and hard-hearted, too... much worse than I am now. Same school where I remarked that the Board of Regents had some nerve, scheduling a class during the middle of the cocktail hour. The instructor jumped a foot, and there went another letter grade, but I was innocent that time. I didn't know there had been a complaint that a student detected liquor on his breath during classtime.

The class was interrupting MY cocktail hour, but I don't think we ever got that one straightened out.

Of course, this will never happen to you, Robin, but one afternoon during a very dry lecture, one of the first teacher's students fell asleep... and snored out loud (and I mean "loud") for the entire remainder of the class. She kept on talking, pretending not to notice, and he kept snoring, really not noticing. It was both deeply comical and hideously tragic, all at the same time. And cinematic, too. Some imp of a screenwriter could make hay with it; they don't call us "ink-stained wretches" for nothing.

Well. Good luck with YOUR talk.

I majored in music in college, and you were required to take Music History. That teacher won the award for weirdness. One day, he was telling us about the troublesome romantic affairs of composers, such as Chopin and Liszt. He said that all these problems contributed to the greatness of their music, though, so our homework assignment was to "go out and have affairs".

BTW, does anyone else have about a minute delay in printing after you type something here now in PW?

Geez I love this thread.

I heard Bert Crenca, the founder of Providence's unjuried art space, AS220, speak last week. He said many things, but I thought this was particularly appropriate to the observations about amateur singers and speakers:

"5 minutes of anything is interesting, but after 7 minutes, things can get a little shaky"

I just posted a rather lengthy (even for me) chronicle of the last four days' gigs, but in the "Want to know what it's like to be a pro?" thread. Although this thread has strayed from its wedding roots, I decided that this particular post was more appropriate elsewhere.

Thanks, Greg, I checked it out! What a week.

Rusty, LOVE the seven minute quote!

Elssa, I think I know that professor.

Jeff, my speech went well. It was short enough that everyone stayed awake, unlike the wedding speeches by the likes of Uncle Gustav, the ones that put everyone into a coma after 45 minutes of droning. My topic was the connection between the compositions and paintings created by a wonderfully talented woman named Amy Antin. OT, I know, but since we don't have many weddings to discuss this week, I thought I'd throw this in the mix. Sometimes it's okay to be serious, right? Here's the first bit of it:

******

Life has little to do with music and art. But art and music have everything to do with life.

The dimples in a child's closed fist inspire a lullaby; the devil's swish of falling leaves on a gusty November morning prompts a wistful melody in a minor key; trumpets herald an athlete's record-setting victory; the ancient truths of romantic love cue the violins. A fear of death brings on diminished chords played by an organ; the reality of death calls for an angel's harp. We save the bass for walking, and the flutes for new life, new hope, and whimsical stories about eager children with brightly colored buckets of mud and sand. When we laugh, we hear a penny whistle, the trill of a clarinet, a trombone sliding into a note that's not quite what we hoped for. Sorrow is outlined by a bow sweeping across a cello's strings, or maybe an oboe's double-reeded whine, or maybe the muted sound of a bugle played by a soldier with a raised head and a heavy heart.

But what plays in your head when you're just trying to get through the day? When you're fighting the beast? When you're too tired to change out of your Ultimate Pajamas™, when the world seems full of puffy-lipped corporate managers who insist on being too thin and too efficient, when the lady with the clipboard attached to her hip—the one with the exploding breasts and the startled eyes—reminds you that you're running late? What do you listen to when the man has gotten away, the event horizon looks smudged at best, the afterglow has faded, and all you really want to do is drink three liters of wine, eat a block of cheese, and pull the covers over your head?

You listen to music that reminds you that, really, everything will be okay.

Okay.

Okay. So what if this same music, the music that brings contentment and sanity into your life, morphed into color and light and shadow? What if the waves of sound flattened onto canvas or a slab of wood? What if, instead of hearing your life played back to you note by note, you watched it spill, tone by tone, into a painting that uses the softest shades of sky and water and earth to define the blurred arc of your existence? What if?

Well then, you might recognize yourself.

That's beautiful, Robin. I loved your imagery: "...the event horizon looks smudged at best..."

Wish I could've been there to hear the rest of the talk.

Thanks, Monica! I love the idea of the "event horizon"—a friend in a writing group recently used it in her first fantasy novel, but it reminded me so much of the music biz that I stole it for my own purposes.

I had to send a sub to the castle wedding so I could do the art gallery gig. Evidently I didn't miss much. The guy who subs for me claims he wears a blond wig and no one knows the difference.

That was lovely, Robin, very insightful and poetic! Thanks for posting it!

Snort! Good thing I wasn't drinking coffee when I read that! I'm trying to imagine what he would look like in a cocktail dress and heels too!

Probably pretty cute! I'll talk to his wife and see if she can loan him an outfit or too. Something subtle, with just a touch of glitter.