Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Piano Teachers Forum do you ever feel unappreciated?

I thought you teachers might appreciate this song I wrote to show my appreciation for Mary my piano teacher. I call it "Sister Mary". http://www.box.net/shared/vg10mnq375

There's no place for feelings in teaching. At least not for me, I don't get that luxury.

"Sitting to the left of me"?!?!? I always sit on the right of the children to get access to the upper part of the keyboards!

I'm sure that Mary will be glad to provide some feedback to your playing and singing! LOL (But it's actually VERY nice to do that for your teacher and if you have such a relation with her then YAY!)

Yikes, you know what, she does sit on my right! I guess maybe when I wrote it 3 years ago (right after I started piano lessons) she used to sit to my left!

Yes, that's some kind of "singing", isn't it? I did a little concert for friends and family and I had a real singer do the vocals. I do play the piano better now, but the singing shows no improvement. I did sing well enough to be in a madrigal group while in my early teens, so I don't know where the voice went. Probably to the same place other things go as we get older...

Interesting. I think I know what you mean, but in my relationship with my teacher, emotions play a big part. But she's a classically trained pianist (from Liverpool) and a "teacher's teacher" in the sense that we focus on theory and technique.

I started lessons 3 years ago (at the age of 52) right after I experienced a sudden and very emotional desire to learn piano and compose. I think all I brought to lessons at first was emotion and passion. My teacher has helped me translate my feelings into acceptable compositions by insisting on proper technique and by trying to teach me theory. But if she were not at all emotionally moved by what I'm experiencing, I don't think we'd have much of a learning connection.

I studied accordion seriously from age 5-15. The experience was completely devoid of feelings, both in the playing and in the relationship with my teacher. Actually, I take that back, I did feel something, but it was resentment!

I had been a stoic Scandanavian until this relatively recent obsessive surge of composing started. For me it's been a very healthy metamorphosis, albeit with unfortunate consequences in my personal life. After I started lessons, Mary told me she never takes adult students. It turns out she took a chance with me because she could sense the passion I had for music. I serendipitously met her the day after I realized I needed a teacher to guide what was happening in me. I met her at a party. I asked her what she did for work, and when she said "I teach piano" I couldn't believe it, and I started gushing about how none of my friends could understand this thing going on deep inside. She seemed to understand completely, and that's how we started. She's also a deeply emotional person, but has the wisdom to teach me that without discipline, theory and technique, my emotional musical outbursts will have little value. Unless I learn to play the piano well, no listener will be able to connect with what I'm writing. I've posted some of my music in other sections of the forum, mostly in the Adult Beginner's section.

So, like I said, I think I understand your perspective. Like so many things when it comes to the human experience, language limitations lead us to separate things (like emotion and learning) in ways that don't accurately reflect reality. Like sex for example. Is it physical and biological, or is it emotional and spiritual? Maybe that's a question for another forum!

Thanks for your input though.

Yeah, I'm going through a cycle of that right now...I had one clarinet student who in spite of doing so much for him, like creating custom arrangements of pieces, composing a piece for him and his friends, he wants to play and creating practice plans to prepare for the exams, and yet had tried to get extra lessons from me at no additional cost...and he wasn't even practicing enough or efficiently yet wanted to do competitions and play in high level groups, still struggling with a few basic skills and even on the easy scales, plus he's 16 years old.

However, I glow in the fact that I have four or five families who regularly give me referrals, and a couple of those give me a serious Christmas bonus (like at least $150--in one case, the mom's a highly successful realtor)

Meri

I think at some point, every teacher has felt unapprecited after they have poured years and hours of time and energy and emotion into a student and their family. But the ones we always need to focus on are the ones who understand all we have done for them and are appreciative (albeit how few and far between they are). Then we can continue on with our investments in our students lives and know it is worth it.

I think it's inevitable and comes with the role of being a piano teacher.

It will hit at the least expected moment and will impact you more than you would like. It can be a temporary "miff" or a long-term "wound".

Sometimes there is nothing you can do about it, but I think most piano teachers would like to resolve the problem if possible.

Very often it is not about you, but about the student or their family member and something they have said or done that does not have your well being in the equation. They may not know it was offensive or harmful because they just haven't considered your opinion about it. Or, they may not care despite knowing how you feel about it. These scenarios are equally tough.

Showing goodwill, a good attitude, and being able to resolve a problem are the high road. Forgiveness is an option.

For blatant repeated disregard we are better off without them in our studios and lives.

Appreciation when it is genuine is a lovely reward to receive. I am always grateful for things that show agreement, appreciation, and connection.

If a client has a complaint or a concern, we should be ready to listen and respond appropriately. To me this is different in context than not being appreciated.

Betty

My first teacher sat on my right, my current one on the left.

In both cases I imagine it is an unintended consequence of the room layout.

Is there a recommended position? Just curious.

It's a nice song Larry. I think you need to take the tempo down, and reduce the number of verses. Also, the word theory doesn't fit too well with the notes. But I always appreciate efforts like these. Thanks for posting it.

Do I ever feel unappreciated?

I am lucky to have very grateful students and cooperative parents, who do show their appreciation by putting up with me, some for many, many years. However, I do feel under-appreciated, if that makes any sense. It seems like I am putting in more effort than the students. Or maybe I'm just asking for too much.

On the other hand, I do feel a complete lack of appreciation from my MTAC colleagues, especially those "do-nothing's" in my branch. I put in 10,000,000 hours of service, and all they do is keep on rejecting my proposals at Board Meetings. Sometimes it feels like pulling mules by their ears. So, how many geological eras must I wait before _one_ change occurs??

You don't need expressions of appreciation from students - you can see the fun they're having. From colleagues, on the other hand, it's miserable without it.

Larry, that is nice.

Sitting on the right or the left is interesting. My studio layout is such that I sit in a chair to the left of my students. Many are elementary and the left allows quick access to duets. Is there an advantage of one side over the other?

I never thought about which side to sit on! My first piano teacher sat to my left, my second teacher sat to my right. I sit to the right, although with my room arrangement it would make more sense to sit on the left. I do have to run to the other side for duets, but if I need to quickly demonstrate something, it sounds better a couple octaves higher than lower.