Here's a situation that made me laugh. Not really something the student said, but was something funny.

I had a student who had to go to her basement alone and practice her piano. She told me she was scared of the basement, and wasn't practicing much because of it. I asked if she had a pet dog/cat, that she could take down to the basement with her. And she said, yes she has a dog, but when she takes the dog down and starts practicing, the dog leaves!

So I told the mom the problem with her daughters practicing!

Student comes that week to lessons, all smiles. So I ask her why the change, and she says, well, mom solved the 1problem. She ties the dog to the piano. Now the dog can't leave!

Just hope the dog doesn't take up howling!

I phoned Schumann, but there was no answer tee hee

And I chuckled a lot at "I like to play the piano randomly, especially now that I know what randomly means."

Yesterday I had my first experience of "where is your off button?" from a 6 yo (who learns on a digital). Made a note for us to look inside my piano next lesson.

Also yesterday: first lesson with 7yo: looks at piano with dismay "there are no letters written on!"
Me "did your keyboard come with letter names on the keys? (imagining new-fangled coloured LEDs and hi-tech teaching aids)
The 7yo "No, they are written on with texta."

A bit later "Where is G?...Now I need E...Where is D-Brackets?"

That texta user was busy!

These should all be collected into a book and sold for charity :-)

Priceless!

Me: (pointing at the line)What is the letter name of the 1st line of the treble staff?

5yr old: E

Me: Good. What about this space, which is the 1st space of the treble staff?

5yr old: I know that. That's F

Me: Good. Now let's go to the bass staff. What is the letter name of the 5th line of the bass staff (pointing)?

5yr old: (long pause) Hmmm, is it A?

Me: Yes. What about this space below the A?

5yr old: (eyebrows now joining)Ahhh, B?

Me: No. Try again. The note lower than A.

5yr old: G.

Me: Now, the line below the G?

5yr old: Oh no. Not that one. I won't tell you.

Me: Why?

5yr old: That's my secret!

I have one student who always refers to the G Clef as the "trouble clef".

I agree, that would be cool. Frank and/or moderators, what a great idea. "Chicken Soup for the Music Teacher's Soul"

One of my Monday students was playing a song called "Dragon Hunter" and missed a few notes. She noticed the mistakes before I had a chance to point them out and said "It's a song about a dragon. It doesn't have to sound good!" We both had a good laugh.

To Minniemay, re Frosty and Judas Maccabeus....

I literally burst out into laughter at that one!! That kid will do well in his music lit class in college...

I was accompanying a children's choir; the teacher had approached me before class to ask if I would mind transposing a piece. We had always done it in F, but she thought F# would be better.

When the time came I simply played an F# as the starting pitch.

One seven-year-old kid's hand went up immediately. When the teacher asked him what was wrong, he said "he gave us the wrong key"! The piano was situated so he couldn't have seen the keyboard.

Ever since then this kid has served as a human pitch pipe whenever there is no piano.

He's now in his mid-20's and is a professional violinist!

6 y.o. and I are going over dynamics.
Me: What is "f"?
Kid: Forte!
Me: What is "p"?
Kid: Piano!
Me: What is "mf"?
Kid: Oh...my mommy said I can't say that word!


~mstrongpianist

This isn't the most politically correct, but I had to bite my lip to stop myself from laughing at this students idea.

I had just explained that ritardando means to slow down.
Student says "That's easy to remember cos it sounds like RETARDando and retards are slow"

I was more shocked than anything to hear this from a 7yo!