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At a concert once I made a box with hole in top and invited everyone to write their best EGBDF and post it in the box for a prize. Anyway, the idea went off! But it was the parents that invented the most - they were so into it. All done in the social meeting eating and drinking part before the performances, but I could see some glazed expressions as a few more were thought of during the concert. Anyway, we got one of the parents who is a literary/writer sort of person to choose winners:- Adult winner

Exam Gone Badly; Doomed Future!

child winner:

Extremely Grand But Dumb Friends.

There were so many good ones, adults are very good at this, and just a few of the kids too. Some of course were unprintable but were whispered and chortled over.

O.K. people I'm cracking up laughing. Just returned from my students' Christmas recital. One student, a 9 year old boy, announced his pieces and then said, "And I want to play them both at CARNAGE HALL".

LOL. That's where *my* stuff would be played. I'm sure your student will be much better

Cathy

these stories are so funny I can't Handel them

Another one:
My 7 year old student just finished his lesson. I asked him what he wanted for Christmas and he said "lots of things". I said, "name your top thing you want." He said, "Socks, I really need them. I have only one pair and wear em every day, wanna see how dirty they are?"

I was explaining how in a phrase, you start softly, get louder, and end softly. A 10 year old student said to me "Oh, it's like putting a magnifying glass in the middle of it!". I thought this was so brilliant - I've told it to all my other students.

I'm no teacher, but I remember my own first Piano lesson nearly 12 years ago (I was 7 then). The first thing my teacher did was, he asked me where I thought the middle of the piano was. I think he wanted me to find the c' note, but I was to exact to just guess, so I counted all the keys, from bottom to top, pressing every key once, divided what I got by two and went again from the bottom to the middle counting down my result, and then, I believe I had actually gotten it right, pointed to the space between e' and f'. My teacher was amused, but didn't try to interrupt me, even though it took some time.
By the way, I'm studying mathematics now, I guess I've been destined to even back then .

i constantly get

"Where does it plug in?" (I have an acoustic piano, many of my students dont :))

A good one though was:

"I hope you don't mind i wrote in all the notes, i was having a hard time. My mom had this chart from when she was little (a chart showing notes on the grand staff)and i used that but that was sooooooooooo long ago and i don't know if it's changed since then!" HAHAHHAHAHA!

and my FAVOURITE is the following, from a 4 year old, a week after we had a lesson studying about Beethoven:

"Hey.... you know that Beethoven guy? HE'S DEAD! (said very "as a matter of fact") And he couldn't hear nothin!!!!!"

HAHAHHAHAH


Thanks everyone else for sharing, this is a great post

OH i forgot the best story...

A new 4 year old student came to lessons one day, and she was very excited to begin, but she was also very excited to show me how well she could sing and dance too. I told her we would work on piano for 15 minutes, then we could take a quick break and she could show me something else. So we did, and she sang a cute little song for me, but then wanted to show me her dance, so i said when lessons are done she can show me her dance. So finally, after being very patient and doing very well at her first lesson she gets up, very excited to show me her dance. I ask her "So what kind of dancing do you do? Tap? Ballet? Jazz?"

and she said "No, POLE DANCING!" and then smacks her behind and starts shaking her booty like a bad Britney Spears routine :S

It was very shoking but also very funny, i couldn't think of anything to say but "WOW!"

My 6 year old student put his music for Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer on the piano and announced “they’ve spelt rein wrong”

Also, not first hand experience but, I like it.
Question, “What is a sextet?”
Student, “I know what it is but I’d rather not say”

Ha! reminds me of the old 'schoolboy howler',

"Bach was a composer, and had many children. He practised on a spinster in his attic."

I had a little boy that said "mezio forte," it was so funny I didn't want to correct him; I would just make sure and pronounce it correctly and I knew eventually he would catch on. He also pronounced chords exactly how it looks with the soft "ch" as in "choose." It was so cute!

A few years ago I had a 4 year old girl and every time she started playing a piece she would say, "one two ready go" and then begin playing. And she wouldn't she it in the same tempo as she played the piece, it was just totally random. I laughed every time!

These kids are so funny! I LOL when I read everyone's posts.

Yesterday, I asked a 9 year old male student if he wanted to continue on into page 2 of a piece to study for the week. His response, "I'd rather donate a kidney!"

That's what you get for asking!

Hilarious, Barb!

FDROFLMAO!

Be forewarned, this kid is funny and quite the comic ready to drop a shocking comment on you and any one else given the opportunity. He probably has more "one liners" in his repertoire.

Does this mean that piano teacher's should have "donor cards" nearby with which to put the comic on donor sign-up? (Thinking that he's going to say this again sometime in the future, I think I'd make up a fictious donor card just in case and keep it on hand to surprise him. Actually the subject is a very serious one and I don't mean to suggest it isn't. But, turn-about is fair play sometimes in piano lessonville, I think.)

I can just imagine this becoming the fad quip among young piano students throughout the world if this "I'd rather donate a kidney" gets around, say, on facebook.

I'll think about this every time I ask the student whether he wants to add the 2nd page to the assignment.

Betty

Reminds me of something I learned years ago: Never ask a question if you can't stand the answer.

These stories are so precious! Please keep posting!

This one just happened this afternoon:

Me: Very nice. I'd like you to play it again, but this time, try to put a small accent on the first beat of each measure.

Student: An accent? Ohhh, is that because it's a German Dance?

i like that one Heidiv. It's subtle. which is Australian for "I didn't get it for a few seconds"

Here's one that happened yesterday!

Me: Okay if I say the word "allegro", what of these three languages am I speaking? "German" "Chinese" or "Italian" . . . ?

Student: Ummmmmmmm Mexican! . . .

??????????????

Edit: Oh, and yes, I did have to explain to him that
Mexican people speak "Spanish"!