Do you have a funny story to share?
Here's mine:
new student to my studio, little boy age 7. The first thing he said to me after I greeted him at the door was, "Are you doing this for the money? Cause if you are, my dad will fire you like he did my last teacher."
How did I reply to this, you ask?
"No. Now come in and sit down".
I couldn't think up anything better to say, put on the spot like that.

Hahahaha ROFL. oH dear Barb860! I would be floored by a comment like that. And I just thought up a better reply. "No I'm doing it because I love children... Roasted with gravy!
Do come in!"

Ok here's mine. I have a child with great rhythm, pieces flow along with no interruptions, hesitations or bars of indeterminite length.
Except for one day.. He halted on the first beat of a bar in the middle of a piece, leant forward, broke wind rather loudly, then continued from exactly where he left off and played to the end. No giggling or commentary about trombone-style interruption.

Perhaps it is true what they say about boys and multitasking.

How's the tone when the boy said that? It can easily be construed as a rude remark.

I love that reply!!!
I have so many cute stories having taught for eleven years. Too many to enumerate!!!

It was rude, certainly! He was serious. The only way I could take it was to think it was funny though, coming from a 7 year old.
I'm sure his parents would be mortified to know he said it.

Barb860, Thanks for this topic! I'm still chuckling over a 6 year old student's comments. As she came into the studio I asked how her day had been. She said it had been terrible. I was curious as to what makes a terrible day for a 6 year old, so I asked what had happened. She said "A boy accidentally kicked me. (Showed the leg bruise) Someone stepped on my snack. No one would play with me at recess, and a bee got this close to my face (holding her hand about 4 inches away from her face)."

Also another first grader was here. Something came up about sharps. I said "oh, that's an F sharp, we haven't gotten to that yet" and I showed him where it is on the piano. He excitedly said "I've always wanted to play F sharp!" I smiled and said "You've always wanted to play F sharp?" Then he said "I don't know." But it's such a great picture of the enthusiasm he has for every new thing he learns!

Today a third grader played a piece with the damper pedal for the first time. "Oooh. It sounds all mishy-mashy."

Another third grader told me she had "exciting news! I'm getting taller!"
Oh, you are?
"Yes! Wanna know how I know? Last week my shoes fit just fine and this week they're too tight."

A second grader bounced into lessons: "Wanna see what I discovered this week? If you play this (he played a major third) it sounds good, but if you play this (major second) it doesn't sound good at all."

Oh, I have so many - I always write them down so I remember.


Me: what does f stand for?
student: farte?

After 5 year old student comes out of the bathroom:
"I need to get 2 pieces of toilet paper. My dad doesn't want me to get a rash."
(... okay...? wasn't sure how to reply.)

Me: What does the C stand for in the time signature?
student: Central Time?

(in talking about the upcoming recital)
student: I can't fart in this show.

(after making a bunch of little mess-ups)
student: I'm just customizing that song.

Me: What does andante mean?
student: a little under-cooked?

AND MY FAVORITE:

Me: What does scherzando mean?
student: scare the "sando" out of you?

Love this thread hope it continues for a while. My next offering is from a 6 year old who stalls her exit for as long as possible every week (I have a 15min gap after her).

6 year old: "Can I stay for dinner?"

Me: "It's only 4 o'clock!"

6 yo: "I don't mind."

Me: "But I have lots of students between now and then."

6 yo enthusiastically offers "I can sit quietly."

Me and parent try not to laugh

I have a beautiful rebuilt 1925 Steinway L, and I was about to go into my whole spiel about how you should respect pianos, because they are more than just furniture, etc. etc.

I told the 8-year-old I was talking to that I got my piano for my 15th birthday. She immediately interrupts with... "It doesn't look *THAT* old!!!"

There was the 6 year old student that was preparing his first Guild program but he called it "guilt". I always wondered what he thought he was doing that caused him such "guilt".

I have a student that is involved with a lot of sports teams. I tease her and tell her that I am going to make piano "team" shirts with all of my students names on the back that I want everyone to wear.

I'm enjoying these a lot. The unintentionally rude is always funny. "You don't look THAT old!" LOL.

What about kids' songwriting. Is it just me or do other people's students write songs where someone or something dies by the 4th line? Here I am writing lots of lovely amusing and wholesome songs with piano for kids, and they come up with the likes of this:

BABOON by 8yo

"Broke into the car
Ripping out the seats
Looking for food.
When they are pets they have to be shot."

The melody and rhythm were really good
And this is only one example - teachers, kids, animals are killed or maimed regularly. Most of these are written by boys, but not all.

I've got to hijack this thread for just a moment, as I heard the funniest joke today. Maybe you can guess why I nearly split my sides laughing.

Q What is the capital of Korea?

A. Juilliard!

Not quite something a student said... but how bout something one did?

One day I was teaching one of my students - the cutest most innocent 5-year old boy ever - and was asking him how many beats each note got. Since he's somewhat shy he was showing me the counts with his fingers. We started with whole notes and he held up four fingers, then went to half notes - two fingers, pointer and middle. Then when I asked him how many a quarter note got he hesitated for a minute, then proudly held up one finger, his middle finger.

TEACHER"Don't worry about the exam, I know its a little confronting to be before three people but really you've done all the work"

STUDENT"Ohh no I'm not worried, they're not as scary as you are"

I had a beginner student who has a keyboard to practice on. He came and started to play the piano and he said "Ohh the piano is already turned on..wheres the on button on this?"

Thanks for some great laughs

i have to say.. the confused face after the Korea joke made me laugh the hardest... that and the 'rash' comment.

Apparently this was a child's answer in a written test:

Question: What is a harp?

Answer: A nude piano.

brilliant! gets me every time.

In a Kindermusik class we were listening to different bird calls. I had a card with several pictures of birds on them and when we heard the bird call, we'd name the bird and point to it on the card. There was a bluebird, cardinal, owl, and then a chickadee. "OK," I said, "What's the name of this bird (pointing to the chickadee)?" One little boy spoke up nice and loud, "Oh! That's the little fat guy!"

John may be getting at the common name for Juilliard, 'Jailyard'.

Because there are many Koreans at Juilliard?

FWIW - I sent John's joke to my S (a student at Juilliard) and he got it. Said, "How true." Yes, there are many Koreans at Juilliard (including two of my S's roomamtes), but it is more than that. Juilliard is famous - quite well known in Korea. Revered. Everyone there seems to know of it and respects it. My S has toured in Korea to sold out crowds and TV coverage, on the basis of his school name alone.

When he got into Juilliard, we lived in Germany, and most of our friends (albeit non-musical) had no idea what that meant until we explained that it was "something like the Mozarteum." Here is the south, it is probably something less than 50% who recognize the school name. Although that has increased now: "Oh! That school in 'August Rush'?"

This joke might be a "you had to be there" kind.

These 2, from the same 7 y/o boy actually, come to mind.

When he finished one of his books, he excitedly said "Oh! I beat the book!"

The other was when I was quizzing him and he couldn't quite remember what a tie was so I was giving him hints. I said "something you do to your shoelaces" and his eyes got huge and he yelled out "knot!"

I about fell on the floor when he said that

A student brought me a christmas ornment, and I said, `thank you, just also thank your mother for taking time to go out and buying ^this for me!`

`Oh, said the student, she didn`t buy that for you, she has a junk drawer, and when she has to get something for someone, she goes into this draw and . . . that`s where this came from!

EDIT: changed "his" to "this"

Reminds me of this little boy I teach who is 5. We were reviewing dotted half notes. I covered up the dot with my finger and asked him what that note was, "half note!" I pointed to the dot and asked what that was "a Period!" I said, "Close, but not quite" and then I said "polka" to hopefully prompt him to day dot, but all I got was "Polka-dotted half note!" LOL!

My 5 year old student came to class all excited that they just got a "puppy"!

I asked him what kind of puppy, and he said it was a mixed puppy! To reassured him that mixed puppies can be really cute, I asked what was the mix! He said it was half "german" and half "shepherd"! Turns out it really was a pure bred, but he had no idea!

Could quite get through his whole lesson because I just couldn't stop laughing at this! Just one of those days when it just hits you funny!

Should add that this is in no way a diss to Germans!

He probably would have thought the same way about Scotish Terriors or English Sheep dogs! This just happened to be a German Shephard!

Sincerely, Diane

One of my colleagues relayed this story:

A little girl - "I have my own bedroom"

T - How fortunate for you.

G - Both my brothers have their own room, too!

T - That's wonderful. You really are a fortunate family.

G - But I feel sad. Mommy and Daddy have to share a room.

I have an 11yo student who is an intelligent and efficient practicer. When she first started piano her mother would stay on afterwards for a cuppa (last lesson of the day and she is a friend). Student would go over everything from the lesson until it was perfect and remembered, asking a few questions to which I sang the answers. These days she is such a good student, quick to understand, quick to learn new pieces, great ear and memory. So I assume she still has this marvelous efficient practice habit.

Recently I was visiting her mother and I could hear some focused LH practice of 2 difficult bars in the Shostakovich. Hurray I thought, this kid really gets it! Went to piano room to say hi.

She was playing the bass with her LH... and brushing her teeth with the other!! Is this taking efficiency too far

Oh, my. That sounds like something I might have said at that age.

Well, I asked one of my students when she finds time to practice. And she said, "well, everyday my mom has a shower, and when she closes the door to have her shower, I can play and when she comes out, then I can stop!

I wasn't sure what to think of that!

Wow! that raises many questions none of which I would be game to ask!
I'm still loving this thread. Thank you all posters.

Last fall, I had two delightful young ladies, but they were learning on small keyboards, so I implored Mom & Dad to get a real piano. They did and the lessons went great all Fall, but suddenly, around November, they started coming to their lessons woefully unprepared.

I asked the girls what happened.

They told me that it was just too cold in the garage to practice more than 10 minutes at a time.

D'oh!!!

Among the thank-you-and-goodbye cards I received when I left a school teaching job many years ago was one from a girl who wrote:
"Thank you for teaching me everything I wanted to know".

I still wonder about that one...

this thread is great!
more more more!

i love it when students share what they imagine during their pieces:

a 10yr boy upon finished playing me his piece and turned around to say, wide-eyed, "I can't believe the guy died at the end!"

These posts are so darn funny!!!!

Here's my latest:
8 year old boy arrived for his lesson with his toes wrapped up on both feet. Mom had told me he had surgery for "ingrown toenails". Kid said to me, "I had bad intonation".

Oh, Barb, you could be banned for saying things like that!

Hilarious Thank you Barb!!

nup... can't think of a single funny thing from today *sighs*

oh that is a precious anecdote.. i wish i knew her - had a student like that. I occasionally do sideways leg lifts while standing - to ease the tension in my back and strengthen my self. I like that sort of multi tasking.

hehe Saw her again today - she really is an excellent student, but I have it on excellent authority (her mother) that she never pratises for more than 5 minutes. So I was kinda hoping that in these 5 minuteses that piano had her full attention; apparently not! Don't know how she does so well.

Apple, do you mean leg lifts while standing and playing the piano at the same time

i do.. Canonie.. you know, i sit for sooo long and i get stiff (particularly as I am on a stiffening anti cancer drug).

i like standing at the piano, it sounds so much better. I'm quit short and am just below the point in the air where my piano sounds excellent.

Apple
great idea with the 1 legged piano playing, i was going well until I pedalled *falls over before resolution of cadence*.

Here's another funny thing that happens a lot but caught me by surprise the first time. I write most of my beginner music, with originals done by hand with colour and illustration. They are meant to look like a real person has just made them up. No Sibelius for this.

So I shouldn't have been surprised the first time an 8 yo came for his lesson said "By the way, I've fixed the piece"
"Really! Have you improved it??"
"Yes"
"ok, show me your (new improved) version"
Usually it is a perfectly reasonable alteration, I swallow my composers' pride say "yes you're right" and write in the improvement.

They've done a bit of "fixing" for the Fabers as well. Perhaps I should let them know

This was more surprising than funny, but I did chuckle about it later. I was teaching a 5 year old what a string quartet is. He listened attentively and then said "What about a quintet?" I explained that a quintet has 5 instruments. Then I asked if he learned about a quintet in kindergarten (knowing I hadn't mentioned the word 'quintet'). He said "No, I saw it on TV".

This is the same 5 year old who I taught the words "forte" and "piano". He listened and then said "I know what 'fortissimo' is". I figured the parents had been working with him at home, so I asked and the parent said they were not familiar with that word (they don't read music either). So I asked the child where he learned it and he said "In kindergarten". He probably hears something one time and retains it. Again, surprising!

I was talking about breath support to a young male teen clarinet student, and he called it breast support...I still chuckle at that one about 2 years after he said that...

Meri

Maybe I shouldn't tell this story, but I do remember I laughed!

Anyways, I have this little guy who just started this year. He is maybe 5 years old. At his first lesson, I traced his hands and then I wrote on each of the fingers the finger numbers, 1 2 3 4 & 5! We went through them a few times, and then I put my hands up and went through each finger one at a time. (You know where this is going don't you all! So I put up my middle finger, and he says, "I know that one, that's the naughty finger"!

Kids! You just never know what they are going to say!

Teaching a seven year old the F Major chord, I encouraged her to say the note names out loud, as she played each one. "F" "A" "C", she chanted as she played each note.

I then asked her to play them together, as a chord.
She complied and played the notes together, shouting out "FAC", and repeated it several times, in her Aussie accent!

I teach in the home, and dread to think what her mother was imagining, as she was in the next room!!!

My favorite from a 7 yr old yesterday: "I like to play the piano randomly, especially now that I know what randomly means."

Today I was introducing a 7 yr old boy to the Famous People song in PA level 2A. We talked about which names mentioned were historical figures and which were fictional characters. I asked about Robin Hood, and he said,
"He's a real person!"
I said, "well, he's in a movie and story, but I'm pretty sure he's a made-up character."
But the boy insisted that no, he was real. "He lived in the first year."
"First year of what?" I asked.
"First year of modern human kind!"

1. Older sister occasionally takes baby sister to the bathroom while middle sister has her lesson. The girls would always come out of the bathroom, with the little one holding a few squares of clean toilet paper. I finally asked the big sister why. She said, "Oh, Mrs. H, she LOVES your toilet paper because it's so soft!"

2. Same girls: I used to teach in an apartment building with loud neighbors. One day my student came in, and neighbor was BLARING rap music from their stereo. My student said, "I told myself, 'I know that's not Mrs. H - she would NEVER play music like that!'"

3. My 7-yr-old violin student. He kept dropping his violin onto the carpet floor, at least 4 times during lesson. I finally said, very seriously, "The next time you drop your violin, I am going to charge you a quarter. Make sure you bring some quarters to your next lesson." To help him strengthen his muscles, I started having him hold his violin under his chin but with no hands. I did this a few times, and he finally said, "I think you have something you REALLY want to buy, and you must need 25 cents more... because you are trying to GET me to drop this thing!"

Please keep this thread going!! Love it.

I had an 8 year old in his first lesson. Taught finger numbers. I have a few rings and I asked him to put a ring on RH finger 2. He said "Those are girls rings. I am not comfortable with that." (And he's right, they are girls rings...but the 5 year olds never seemed to mind.)

Semi-related story that I'll do my best to describe, since it doesn't work in English...

I'm 6-ish and I started having lessons at piano. My father is a doctor of cardiology. My piano teacher is smoking constantly (this is 25 years ago, keep in mind).

In Greek it's quite rude to talk to the 2nd person, but must always use plurar to people like teachers and stuff. So when I see her smoking for the 2nd time while on lesson I go:
"You (2nd person) will get cancer and die.".
to which my teacher replied:
"YOU (plurar) will get cancer, Nikolas."

Funny thing is that my son aged almost 6 now, stopped a guy in a restaurant and told him the exactly same thing! That he'll get cancer and die! I guess some things just run in the family! :P

(I'm also loving this thread)

Once I was teaching an 8 year old boy about time signatures. He could not remember the term from one lesson to the next. Each week I would ask him, and he had no clue, and we would review it yet again. So one lesson, I asked him over and over. Right in the middle of teaching another piece, I would ask "What's a time signature again?" At the end of a piece, "That was great! What's a time signature?" At the beginning of a piece, "What's this called? What's it mean?" Over and over, till he was laughing and rolling his eyes, and spitting it out a lot faster.

That was a couple months ago, at least. Today he came to his lesson, and opened his Dozen a Day. "Oh, octaves!" I said, looking at the exercise. And then I asked him, "What does 'octave' mean, anyway?" And he answered, "How many beats in a measure."

I was playing a game of "Name That Tune" to take up the last few minutes of class time during the Christmas season. I played the first 3 notes of "Frosty, the Snowman" and 9 yr old Jed raised his hand immediately and yelled out, "That's the theme to Judas Maccabeus!"

Well . . . OK, he was right . . .

On the upper right hand corner of the score is the name of the composer and written below it is the birth year and death year shown like this:

--------------------------------------------------------------------Robert Schumann
----------------------------------------------------------------------(1810-1856)


Me: Who is this person?

7yr old: He is the composer.

Me: And what are these numbers under his name?

7yr old: That's his telephone number.

Here's a situation that made me laugh. Not really something the student said, but was something funny.

I had a student who had to go to her basement alone and practice her piano. She told me she was scared of the basement, and wasn't practicing much because of it. I asked if she had a pet dog/cat, that she could take down to the basement with her. And she said, yes she has a dog, but when she takes the dog down and starts practicing, the dog leaves!

So I told the mom the problem with her daughters practicing!

Student comes that week to lessons, all smiles. So I ask her why the change, and she says, well, mom solved the 1problem. She ties the dog to the piano. Now the dog can't leave!

Just hope the dog doesn't take up howling!

I phoned Schumann, but there was no answer tee hee

And I chuckled a lot at "I like to play the piano randomly, especially now that I know what randomly means."

Yesterday I had my first experience of "where is your off button?" from a 6 yo (who learns on a digital). Made a note for us to look inside my piano next lesson.

Also yesterday: first lesson with 7yo: looks at piano with dismay "there are no letters written on!"
Me "did your keyboard come with letter names on the keys? (imagining new-fangled coloured LEDs and hi-tech teaching aids)
The 7yo "No, they are written on with texta."

A bit later "Where is G?...Now I need E...Where is D-Brackets?"

That texta user was busy!

These should all be collected into a book and sold for charity :-)

Priceless!

Me: (pointing at the line)What is the letter name of the 1st line of the treble staff?

5yr old: E

Me: Good. What about this space, which is the 1st space of the treble staff?

5yr old: I know that. That's F

Me: Good. Now let's go to the bass staff. What is the letter name of the 5th line of the bass staff (pointing)?

5yr old: (long pause) Hmmm, is it A?

Me: Yes. What about this space below the A?

5yr old: (eyebrows now joining)Ahhh, B?

Me: No. Try again. The note lower than A.

5yr old: G.

Me: Now, the line below the G?

5yr old: Oh no. Not that one. I won't tell you.

Me: Why?

5yr old: That's my secret!

I have one student who always refers to the G Clef as the "trouble clef".

I agree, that would be cool. Frank and/or moderators, what a great idea. "Chicken Soup for the Music Teacher's Soul"

One of my Monday students was playing a song called "Dragon Hunter" and missed a few notes. She noticed the mistakes before I had a chance to point them out and said "It's a song about a dragon. It doesn't have to sound good!" We both had a good laugh.

To Minniemay, re Frosty and Judas Maccabeus....

I literally burst out into laughter at that one!! That kid will do well in his music lit class in college...

I was accompanying a children's choir; the teacher had approached me before class to ask if I would mind transposing a piece. We had always done it in F, but she thought F# would be better.

When the time came I simply played an F# as the starting pitch.

One seven-year-old kid's hand went up immediately. When the teacher asked him what was wrong, he said "he gave us the wrong key"! The piano was situated so he couldn't have seen the keyboard.

Ever since then this kid has served as a human pitch pipe whenever there is no piano.

He's now in his mid-20's and is a professional violinist!

6 y.o. and I are going over dynamics.
Me: What is "f"?
Kid: Forte!
Me: What is "p"?
Kid: Piano!
Me: What is "mf"?
Kid: Oh...my mommy said I can't say that word!


~mstrongpianist

This isn't the most politically correct, but I had to bite my lip to stop myself from laughing at this students idea.

I had just explained that ritardando means to slow down.
Student says "That's easy to remember cos it sounds like RETARDando and retards are slow"

I was more shocked than anything to hear this from a 7yo!