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These posts are so darn funny!!!!

Here's my latest:
8 year old boy arrived for his lesson with his toes wrapped up on both feet. Mom had told me he had surgery for "ingrown toenails". Kid said to me, "I had bad intonation".

Oh, Barb, you could be banned for saying things like that!

Hilarious Thank you Barb!!

nup... can't think of a single funny thing from today *sighs*

oh that is a precious anecdote.. i wish i knew her - had a student like that. I occasionally do sideways leg lifts while standing - to ease the tension in my back and strengthen my self. I like that sort of multi tasking.

hehe Saw her again today - she really is an excellent student, but I have it on excellent authority (her mother) that she never pratises for more than 5 minutes. So I was kinda hoping that in these 5 minuteses that piano had her full attention; apparently not! Don't know how she does so well.

Apple, do you mean leg lifts while standing and playing the piano at the same time

i do.. Canonie.. you know, i sit for sooo long and i get stiff (particularly as I am on a stiffening anti cancer drug).

i like standing at the piano, it sounds so much better. I'm quit short and am just below the point in the air where my piano sounds excellent.

Apple
great idea with the 1 legged piano playing, i was going well until I pedalled *falls over before resolution of cadence*.

Here's another funny thing that happens a lot but caught me by surprise the first time. I write most of my beginner music, with originals done by hand with colour and illustration. They are meant to look like a real person has just made them up. No Sibelius for this.

So I shouldn't have been surprised the first time an 8 yo came for his lesson said "By the way, I've fixed the piece"
"Really! Have you improved it??"
"Yes"
"ok, show me your (new improved) version"
Usually it is a perfectly reasonable alteration, I swallow my composers' pride say "yes you're right" and write in the improvement.

They've done a bit of "fixing" for the Fabers as well. Perhaps I should let them know

This was more surprising than funny, but I did chuckle about it later. I was teaching a 5 year old what a string quartet is. He listened attentively and then said "What about a quintet?" I explained that a quintet has 5 instruments. Then I asked if he learned about a quintet in kindergarten (knowing I hadn't mentioned the word 'quintet'). He said "No, I saw it on TV".

This is the same 5 year old who I taught the words "forte" and "piano". He listened and then said "I know what 'fortissimo' is". I figured the parents had been working with him at home, so I asked and the parent said they were not familiar with that word (they don't read music either). So I asked the child where he learned it and he said "In kindergarten". He probably hears something one time and retains it. Again, surprising!

I was talking about breath support to a young male teen clarinet student, and he called it breast support...I still chuckle at that one about 2 years after he said that...

Meri

Maybe I shouldn't tell this story, but I do remember I laughed!

Anyways, I have this little guy who just started this year. He is maybe 5 years old. At his first lesson, I traced his hands and then I wrote on each of the fingers the finger numbers, 1 2 3 4 & 5! We went through them a few times, and then I put my hands up and went through each finger one at a time. (You know where this is going don't you all! So I put up my middle finger, and he says, "I know that one, that's the naughty finger"!

Kids! You just never know what they are going to say!

Teaching a seven year old the F Major chord, I encouraged her to say the note names out loud, as she played each one. "F" "A" "C", she chanted as she played each note.

I then asked her to play them together, as a chord.
She complied and played the notes together, shouting out "FAC", and repeated it several times, in her Aussie accent!

I teach in the home, and dread to think what her mother was imagining, as she was in the next room!!!

My favorite from a 7 yr old yesterday: "I like to play the piano randomly, especially now that I know what randomly means."

Today I was introducing a 7 yr old boy to the Famous People song in PA level 2A. We talked about which names mentioned were historical figures and which were fictional characters. I asked about Robin Hood, and he said,
"He's a real person!"
I said, "well, he's in a movie and story, but I'm pretty sure he's a made-up character."
But the boy insisted that no, he was real. "He lived in the first year."
"First year of what?" I asked.
"First year of modern human kind!"

1. Older sister occasionally takes baby sister to the bathroom while middle sister has her lesson. The girls would always come out of the bathroom, with the little one holding a few squares of clean toilet paper. I finally asked the big sister why. She said, "Oh, Mrs. H, she LOVES your toilet paper because it's so soft!"

2. Same girls: I used to teach in an apartment building with loud neighbors. One day my student came in, and neighbor was BLARING rap music from their stereo. My student said, "I told myself, 'I know that's not Mrs. H - she would NEVER play music like that!'"

3. My 7-yr-old violin student. He kept dropping his violin onto the carpet floor, at least 4 times during lesson. I finally said, very seriously, "The next time you drop your violin, I am going to charge you a quarter. Make sure you bring some quarters to your next lesson." To help him strengthen his muscles, I started having him hold his violin under his chin but with no hands. I did this a few times, and he finally said, "I think you have something you REALLY want to buy, and you must need 25 cents more... because you are trying to GET me to drop this thing!"

Please keep this thread going!! Love it.

I had an 8 year old in his first lesson. Taught finger numbers. I have a few rings and I asked him to put a ring on RH finger 2. He said "Those are girls rings. I am not comfortable with that." (And he's right, they are girls rings...but the 5 year olds never seemed to mind.)

Semi-related story that I'll do my best to describe, since it doesn't work in English...

I'm 6-ish and I started having lessons at piano. My father is a doctor of cardiology. My piano teacher is smoking constantly (this is 25 years ago, keep in mind).

In Greek it's quite rude to talk to the 2nd person, but must always use plurar to people like teachers and stuff. So when I see her smoking for the 2nd time while on lesson I go:
"You (2nd person) will get cancer and die.".
to which my teacher replied:
"YOU (plurar) will get cancer, Nikolas."

Funny thing is that my son aged almost 6 now, stopped a guy in a restaurant and told him the exactly same thing! That he'll get cancer and die! I guess some things just run in the family! :P

(I'm also loving this thread)

Once I was teaching an 8 year old boy about time signatures. He could not remember the term from one lesson to the next. Each week I would ask him, and he had no clue, and we would review it yet again. So one lesson, I asked him over and over. Right in the middle of teaching another piece, I would ask "What's a time signature again?" At the end of a piece, "That was great! What's a time signature?" At the beginning of a piece, "What's this called? What's it mean?" Over and over, till he was laughing and rolling his eyes, and spitting it out a lot faster.

That was a couple months ago, at least. Today he came to his lesson, and opened his Dozen a Day. "Oh, octaves!" I said, looking at the exercise. And then I asked him, "What does 'octave' mean, anyway?" And he answered, "How many beats in a measure."

I was playing a game of "Name That Tune" to take up the last few minutes of class time during the Christmas season. I played the first 3 notes of "Frosty, the Snowman" and 9 yr old Jed raised his hand immediately and yelled out, "That's the theme to Judas Maccabeus!"

Well . . . OK, he was right . . .

On the upper right hand corner of the score is the name of the composer and written below it is the birth year and death year shown like this:

--------------------------------------------------------------------Robert Schumann
----------------------------------------------------------------------(1810-1856)


Me: Who is this person?

7yr old: He is the composer.

Me: And what are these numbers under his name?

7yr old: That's his telephone number.