Do you have a funny story to share?
Here's mine:
new student to my studio, little boy age 7. The first thing he said to me after I greeted him at the door was, "Are you doing this for the money? Cause if you are, my dad will fire you like he did my last teacher."
How did I reply to this, you ask?
"No. Now come in and sit down".
I couldn't think up anything better to say, put on the spot like that.

Hahahaha ROFL. oH dear Barb860! I would be floored by a comment like that. And I just thought up a better reply. "No I'm doing it because I love children... Roasted with gravy!
Do come in!"

Ok here's mine. I have a child with great rhythm, pieces flow along with no interruptions, hesitations or bars of indeterminite length.
Except for one day.. He halted on the first beat of a bar in the middle of a piece, leant forward, broke wind rather loudly, then continued from exactly where he left off and played to the end. No giggling or commentary about trombone-style interruption.

Perhaps it is true what they say about boys and multitasking.

How's the tone when the boy said that? It can easily be construed as a rude remark.

I love that reply!!!
I have so many cute stories having taught for eleven years. Too many to enumerate!!!

It was rude, certainly! He was serious. The only way I could take it was to think it was funny though, coming from a 7 year old.
I'm sure his parents would be mortified to know he said it.

Barb860, Thanks for this topic! I'm still chuckling over a 6 year old student's comments. As she came into the studio I asked how her day had been. She said it had been terrible. I was curious as to what makes a terrible day for a 6 year old, so I asked what had happened. She said "A boy accidentally kicked me. (Showed the leg bruise) Someone stepped on my snack. No one would play with me at recess, and a bee got this close to my face (holding her hand about 4 inches away from her face)."

Also another first grader was here. Something came up about sharps. I said "oh, that's an F sharp, we haven't gotten to that yet" and I showed him where it is on the piano. He excitedly said "I've always wanted to play F sharp!" I smiled and said "You've always wanted to play F sharp?" Then he said "I don't know." But it's such a great picture of the enthusiasm he has for every new thing he learns!

Today a third grader played a piece with the damper pedal for the first time. "Oooh. It sounds all mishy-mashy."

Another third grader told me she had "exciting news! I'm getting taller!"
Oh, you are?
"Yes! Wanna know how I know? Last week my shoes fit just fine and this week they're too tight."

A second grader bounced into lessons: "Wanna see what I discovered this week? If you play this (he played a major third) it sounds good, but if you play this (major second) it doesn't sound good at all."

Oh, I have so many - I always write them down so I remember.


Me: what does f stand for?
student: farte?

After 5 year old student comes out of the bathroom:
"I need to get 2 pieces of toilet paper. My dad doesn't want me to get a rash."
(... okay...? wasn't sure how to reply.)

Me: What does the C stand for in the time signature?
student: Central Time?

(in talking about the upcoming recital)
student: I can't fart in this show.

(after making a bunch of little mess-ups)
student: I'm just customizing that song.

Me: What does andante mean?
student: a little under-cooked?

AND MY FAVORITE:

Me: What does scherzando mean?
student: scare the "sando" out of you?

Love this thread hope it continues for a while. My next offering is from a 6 year old who stalls her exit for as long as possible every week (I have a 15min gap after her).

6 year old: "Can I stay for dinner?"

Me: "It's only 4 o'clock!"

6 yo: "I don't mind."

Me: "But I have lots of students between now and then."

6 yo enthusiastically offers "I can sit quietly."

Me and parent try not to laugh

I have a beautiful rebuilt 1925 Steinway L, and I was about to go into my whole spiel about how you should respect pianos, because they are more than just furniture, etc. etc.

I told the 8-year-old I was talking to that I got my piano for my 15th birthday. She immediately interrupts with... "It doesn't look *THAT* old!!!"

There was the 6 year old student that was preparing his first Guild program but he called it "guilt". I always wondered what he thought he was doing that caused him such "guilt".

I have a student that is involved with a lot of sports teams. I tease her and tell her that I am going to make piano "team" shirts with all of my students names on the back that I want everyone to wear.

I'm enjoying these a lot. The unintentionally rude is always funny. "You don't look THAT old!" LOL.

What about kids' songwriting. Is it just me or do other people's students write songs where someone or something dies by the 4th line? Here I am writing lots of lovely amusing and wholesome songs with piano for kids, and they come up with the likes of this:

BABOON by 8yo

"Broke into the car
Ripping out the seats
Looking for food.
When they are pets they have to be shot."

The melody and rhythm were really good
And this is only one example - teachers, kids, animals are killed or maimed regularly. Most of these are written by boys, but not all.

I've got to hijack this thread for just a moment, as I heard the funniest joke today. Maybe you can guess why I nearly split my sides laughing.

Q What is the capital of Korea?

A. Juilliard!

Not quite something a student said... but how bout something one did?

One day I was teaching one of my students - the cutest most innocent 5-year old boy ever - and was asking him how many beats each note got. Since he's somewhat shy he was showing me the counts with his fingers. We started with whole notes and he held up four fingers, then went to half notes - two fingers, pointer and middle. Then when I asked him how many a quarter note got he hesitated for a minute, then proudly held up one finger, his middle finger.

TEACHER"Don't worry about the exam, I know its a little confronting to be before three people but really you've done all the work"

STUDENT"Ohh no I'm not worried, they're not as scary as you are"

I had a beginner student who has a keyboard to practice on. He came and started to play the piano and he said "Ohh the piano is already turned on..wheres the on button on this?"

Thanks for some great laughs

i have to say.. the confused face after the Korea joke made me laugh the hardest... that and the 'rash' comment.

Apparently this was a child's answer in a written test:

Question: What is a harp?

Answer: A nude piano.

brilliant! gets me every time.

In a Kindermusik class we were listening to different bird calls. I had a card with several pictures of birds on them and when we heard the bird call, we'd name the bird and point to it on the card. There was a bluebird, cardinal, owl, and then a chickadee. "OK," I said, "What's the name of this bird (pointing to the chickadee)?" One little boy spoke up nice and loud, "Oh! That's the little fat guy!"

John may be getting at the common name for Juilliard, 'Jailyard'.

Because there are many Koreans at Juilliard?

FWIW - I sent John's joke to my S (a student at Juilliard) and he got it. Said, "How true." Yes, there are many Koreans at Juilliard (including two of my S's roomamtes), but it is more than that. Juilliard is famous - quite well known in Korea. Revered. Everyone there seems to know of it and respects it. My S has toured in Korea to sold out crowds and TV coverage, on the basis of his school name alone.

When he got into Juilliard, we lived in Germany, and most of our friends (albeit non-musical) had no idea what that meant until we explained that it was "something like the Mozarteum." Here is the south, it is probably something less than 50% who recognize the school name. Although that has increased now: "Oh! That school in 'August Rush'?"

This joke might be a "you had to be there" kind.

These 2, from the same 7 y/o boy actually, come to mind.

When he finished one of his books, he excitedly said "Oh! I beat the book!"

The other was when I was quizzing him and he couldn't quite remember what a tie was so I was giving him hints. I said "something you do to your shoelaces" and his eyes got huge and he yelled out "knot!"

I about fell on the floor when he said that

A student brought me a christmas ornment, and I said, `thank you, just also thank your mother for taking time to go out and buying ^this for me!`

`Oh, said the student, she didn`t buy that for you, she has a junk drawer, and when she has to get something for someone, she goes into this draw and . . . that`s where this came from!

EDIT: changed "his" to "this"

Reminds me of this little boy I teach who is 5. We were reviewing dotted half notes. I covered up the dot with my finger and asked him what that note was, "half note!" I pointed to the dot and asked what that was "a Period!" I said, "Close, but not quite" and then I said "polka" to hopefully prompt him to day dot, but all I got was "Polka-dotted half note!" LOL!

My 5 year old student came to class all excited that they just got a "puppy"!

I asked him what kind of puppy, and he said it was a mixed puppy! To reassured him that mixed puppies can be really cute, I asked what was the mix! He said it was half "german" and half "shepherd"! Turns out it really was a pure bred, but he had no idea!

Could quite get through his whole lesson because I just couldn't stop laughing at this! Just one of those days when it just hits you funny!