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#1299361 - 11/04/09 10:34 AM Should I feel bad taking money?
spatial Offline
Full Member

Registered: 07/20/09
Posts: 61
I responded to an ad at a local music school for a singer looking for an accompanist. This man is in his late 60s, hasn't sung in years, and is looking for someone to rehearse art songs and spirituals on a weekly basis for occasional performances at church. He starts telling me about his life, and I learn that he lives with his schizophrenic son, his partner committed suicide in June, and he basically hasn't been out of the house in months, except to go to work. He wants to have one last go at singing, and it seems to be the only joy he has left. We went through a couple pieces last night, and while he sings with a great deal of expression, his voice is basically gone, especially in the upper register. I have no idea if it will come back with practice.

It seems like an easy gig, but should I feel bad taking money from this guy?

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#1299365 - 11/04/09 10:49 AM Re: Should I feel bad taking money? [Re: spatial]
sotto voce Online   sick
5000 Post Club Member

Registered: 08/15/06
Posts: 5831
Loc: Briarcliff Manor, NY, USA
I think the question to ask yourself is whether you would still want to participate if you weren't being paid for your services. If you would be willing to do it for free, then I think you should consider declining to take payment. (Of course, depending on the man's finances and his pride, he may insist.)

If, on the other hand, you wouldn't accompany him for free, then you should take the money in good conscience.

Steven
_________________________
Ambitious autodidact and amateur moving music from
over my head to under my fingers:

Chopin: Allegro de Concert Op. 46 & Fantaisie Op. 49
Schumann: Toccata Op. 7
Fauré: Ballade Op. 19

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#1299366 - 11/04/09 10:50 AM Re: Should I feel bad taking money? [Re: spatial]
StuartEstell Offline
Full Member

Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 89
Loc: Birmingham, UK
Depends. To turn the question around, can you afford to give him the time for free?

(Edit - Steven: snap!)


Edited by StuartEstell (11/04/09 10:50 AM)
_________________________
Yamaha U3 | Currently working on:
Various Haydn Sonatas/Caténaires by Elliott Carter/Lots of Feldman

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#1299386 - 11/04/09 11:22 AM Re: Should I feel bad taking money? [Re: StuartEstell]
apple* Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Registered: 01/01/03
Posts: 15830
Loc: Kansas
i would.

you can suggest songs in his register and give him company while you accompany.
_________________________
love, Õun (apple in Estonian)

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#1299389 - 11/04/09 11:25 AM Re: Should I feel bad taking money? [Re: apple*]
-Frycek Online   confused
4000 Post Club Member

Registered: 08/06/05
Posts: 4184
Loc: SC Mountains
Can he afford to pay you? If he can I'd take it. If not, it sounds like you're leaning toward helping him out anyway.
_________________________
Slow down and do it right.

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#1299403 - 11/04/09 11:44 AM Re: Should I feel bad taking money? [Re: -Frycek]
spatial Offline
Full Member

Registered: 07/20/09
Posts: 61
I think he can afford to pay me. He did not hesitate to agree when I stated my fee. In all honesty, I'm really only looking for jobs that either give me more experience/connections, or pay. I already do a lot of things that don't pay and are just for fun.

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#1299409 - 11/04/09 11:54 AM Re: Should I feel bad taking money? [Re: spatial]
Kreisler Online   confused

9000 Post Club Member

Registered: 11/27/02
Posts: 9019
Loc: Iowa City, IA
You can do whatever you want, but beware a double standard. If you accompany some people "for fun" and other people for money, the ones who are paying you are going to start wondering why they're not getting the "sob story discount."
_________________________
"If we continually try to force a child to do what he is afraid to do, he will become more timid, and will use his brains and energy, not to explore the unknown, but to find ways to avoid the pressures we put on him."

- John Holt

www.pianoped.com

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#1299450 - 11/04/09 01:28 PM Re: Should I feel bad taking money? [Re: Kreisler]
Phlebas Offline

4000 Post Club Member

Registered: 01/02/03
Posts: 4148
Loc: New York City
Other things to consider - not knowing any of the parties involved.

- Sometime people value something more when they pay for it. If he sees that you are doing it "for fun," he might value what you are doing less.

- Sometimes people providing a service for free value what they're doing less, and don't take it seriously.

- Some people can have a lot of pride, and might be insulted at an offer of free service.

If I was in your situation, I would take it as a paying job, and look for ways to do some little extras - a little more time off the clock, suggest repertoire (as Apple said), maybe take him to a recital, etc.

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#1299518 - 11/04/09 03:53 PM Re: Should I feel bad taking money? [Re: spatial]
Sparkler Offline
Full Member

Registered: 07/27/09
Posts: 56
I think you can be a blessing to this guy, definitely get to know him and be a friend if you can, but, do not feel bad about taking his money.
_________________________
Pianist
Accompanist
Piano Teacher
and best of all...
Mom!

Some things I'm working on currently: Bach Chromatic Fantasy and Fugue, Beethoven Waldstein, Schumann Fantasy in C Op 17, Schumann Arabesque in C, Chopin Ballade no. 1, Prokofiev Toccata.

Happily playing my 10 yr old Petrof 6'4" grand.

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#1299539 - 11/04/09 04:33 PM Re: Should I feel bad taking money? [Re: Sparkler]
riley80 Offline
Full Member

Registered: 08/03/08
Posts: 56
Loc: Florida
I agree - give him an outlet and a little joy in life - and as to the money, let your conscience be your guide. Happy rehearsin'.

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#1299556 - 11/04/09 05:06 PM Re: Should I feel bad taking money? [Re: spatial]
Carldee Offline
Full Member

Registered: 03/16/09
Posts: 152


It seems like an easy gig, but should I feel bad taking money from this guy?[/quote]


"My present position amounts to about 700 thaler (money), and when there are more funerals than usual the fees rise proportionately; but when a healthy wind blows they fall, as for example last year, when I lost fees that would normally come in from funerals to the amount of over 100 thaler......."

Extract of J S Bach`s letter to his friend Georg Erdmann. Now if Bach wanted more people dead to make more money, why should you bother about that man who advertise for an accompanist?, are you a philanthropist or a musician?, do you think you are better that J S Bach?.........How I wish I lived in Bach`s time, I could make him a millionaire murdering all his works and listeners with my playing.............

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#1299646 - 11/04/09 08:11 PM Re: Should I feel bad taking money? [Re: sotto voce]
Damon Offline
500 Post Club Member

Registered: 09/22/06
Posts: 520
Loc: St. Peters, Missouri USA
Originally Posted By: sotto voce

If, on the other hand, you wouldn't accompany him for free, then you should take the money in good conscience.

Steven


Watch out! The grammar police might want to have a word with you. laugh
_________________________
Damon

I've been Horowitzianed!

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#1299769 - 11/05/09 02:43 AM Re: Should I feel bad taking money? [Re: Carldee]
kevinb Online   content
Full Member

Registered: 09/18/09
Posts: 339
Originally Posted By: Carldee


It seems like an easy gig, but should I feel bad taking money from this guy?



"My present position amounts to about 700 thaler (money), and when there are more funerals than usual the fees rise proportionately; but when a healthy wind blows they fall, as for example last year, when I lost fees that would normally come in from funerals to the amount of over 100 thaler......."

Extract of J S Bach`s letter to his friend Georg Erdmann. Now if Bach wanted more people dead to make more money, why should you bother about that man who advertise for an accompanist?, [/quote]

`Accidentia' like this were a staple income for municipal composers in Bach's day, as tips are for waiters and taxi drivers these days. I don't think it's fair to assume that modern musicians should work to 17th century practices.

Having said that, I rarely have qualms about taking money from people who can afford to pay me. I can't afford to.

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#1299795 - 11/05/09 04:18 AM Re: Should I feel bad taking money? [Re: kevinb]
BDB Online   content
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Registered: 06/07/03
Posts: 10854
Loc: Oakland
Chances are this fellow feels good about giving you money for accompanying him. Paying someone to do something you want done can be very rewarding.
_________________________
Semipro Tech

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#1299813 - 11/05/09 06:51 AM Re: Should I feel bad taking money? [Re: -Frycek]
izaldu Offline
500 Post Club Member

Registered: 09/18/08
Posts: 540
Loc: españa
Originally Posted By: -Frycek
Can he afford to pay you? If he can I'd take it. If not, it sounds like you're leaning toward helping him out anyway.



Exactly.

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#1300217 - 11/05/09 10:06 PM Re: Should I feel bad taking money? [Re: izaldu]
PartyPianist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 10/05/09
Posts: 118
Money is there to be spent. I consider that I do anyone a favour in relieving them of the stressful burden of money. Indeed I relieve them as much as I can. Call me a hero, but no amount is too big for me to take - I'll take the lot if necessary. Haha!!!

That said, I have helped many on there way...no charge.
_________________________
I can play it, but you'll have to hum it

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#1300400 - 11/06/09 10:21 AM Re: Should I feel bad taking money? [Re: riley80]
AngelinaPogorelich Online   crying
Full Member

Registered: 12/28/08
Posts: 318
Loc: World
Accept payment but do nice things for him. Like, give him two hours once instead of one.
_________________________
rep: Bach prelude and fugue in c# minor, bkI; Beethoven 110; Beethoven op. 7; Rachmaninoff 2nd sonata; Ravel Une Barque sur l'ocean; Liszt sonnet 104; Chopin f minor concerto; Franck violin sonata; Beethoven 7 violin sonata; Medtner violin sonata no. 1; Brahms trio no. 1; Beethoven trio no. 3

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#1300449 - 11/06/09 12:03 PM Re: Should I feel bad taking money? [Re: riley80]
cardguy Online   content
Full Member

Registered: 12/17/08
Posts: 325
I'd take the money if he can afford it. If you don't take it, the nature of the relationship changes, and that can complicate things.

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#1300559 - 11/06/09 02:31 PM Re: Should I feel bad taking money? [Re: Kreisler]
jdhampton924 Offline
Full Member

Registered: 01/13/08
Posts: 426
Loc: Evansville, Indiana
Originally Posted By: Kreisler
You can do whatever you want, but beware a double standard. If you accompany some people "for fun" and other people for money, the ones who are paying you are going to start wondering why they're not getting the "sob story discount."


I am in full agreement with Kreisler; the truth is we all have some pretty sad stories. He could have been telling you because he was lonely, but from what I read he is not telling you to get out of paying.
_________________________
www.jdhpiano.com

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