I responded to an ad at a local music school for a singer looking for an accompanist. This man is in his late 60s, hasn't sung in years, and is looking for someone to rehearse art songs and spirituals on a weekly basis for occasional performances at church. He starts telling me about his life, and I learn that he lives with his schizophrenic son, his partner committed suicide in June, and he basically hasn't been out of the house in months, except to go to work. He wants to have one last go at singing, and it seems to be the only joy he has left. We went through a couple pieces last night, and while he sings with a great deal of expression, his voice is basically gone, especially in the upper register. I have no idea if it will come back with practice.

It seems like an easy gig, but should I feel bad taking money from this guy?

I think the question to ask yourself is whether you would still want to participate if you weren't being paid for your services. If you would be willing to do it for free, then I think you should consider declining to take payment. (Of course, depending on the man's finances and his pride, he may insist.)

If, on the other hand, you wouldn't accompany him for free, then you should take the money in good conscience.

Steven

Depends. To turn the question around, can you afford to give him the time for free?

(Edit - Steven: snap!)

i would.

you can suggest songs in his register and give him company while you accompany.

Can he afford to pay you? If he can I'd take it. If not, it sounds like you're leaning toward helping him out anyway.

I think he can afford to pay me. He did not hesitate to agree when I stated my fee. In all honesty, I'm really only looking for jobs that either give me more experience/connections, or pay. I already do a lot of things that don't pay and are just for fun.

You can do whatever you want, but beware a double standard. If you accompany some people "for fun" and other people for money, the ones who are paying you are going to start wondering why they're not getting the "sob story discount."

Other things to consider - not knowing any of the parties involved.

- Sometime people value something more when they pay for it. If he sees that you are doing it "for fun," he might value what you are doing less.

- Sometimes people providing a service for free value what they're doing less, and don't take it seriously.

- Some people can have a lot of pride, and might be insulted at an offer of free service.

If I was in your situation, I would take it as a paying job, and look for ways to do some little extras - a little more time off the clock, suggest repertoire (as Apple said), maybe take him to a recital, etc.

I think you can be a blessing to this guy, definitely get to know him and be a friend if you can, but, do not feel bad about taking his money.

I agree - give him an outlet and a little joy in life - and as to the money, let your conscience be your guide. Happy rehearsin'.

It seems like an easy gig, but should I feel bad taking money from this guy?[/quote]


"My present position amounts to about 700 thaler (money), and when there are more funerals than usual the fees rise proportionately; but when a healthy wind blows they fall, as for example last year, when I lost fees that would normally come in from funerals to the amount of over 100 thaler......."

Extract of J S Bach`s letter to his friend Georg Erdmann. Now if Bach wanted more people dead to make more money, why should you bother about that man who advertise for an accompanist?, are you a philanthropist or a musician?, do you think you are better that J S Bach?.........How I wish I lived in Bach`s time, I could make him a millionaire murdering all his works and listeners with my playing.............

Watch out! The grammar police might want to have a word with you.

"My present position amounts to about 700 thaler (money), and when there are more funerals than usual the fees rise proportionately; but when a healthy wind blows they fall, as for example last year, when I lost fees that would normally come in from funerals to the amount of over 100 thaler......."

Extract of J S Bach`s letter to his friend Georg Erdmann. Now if Bach wanted more people dead to make more money, why should you bother about that man who advertise for an accompanist?, [/quote]

`Accidentia' like this were a staple income for municipal composers in Bach's day, as tips are for waiters and taxi drivers these days. I don't think it's fair to assume that modern musicians should work to 17th century practices.

Having said that, I rarely have qualms about taking money from people who can afford to pay me. I can't afford to.

Chances are this fellow feels good about giving you money for accompanying him. Paying someone to do something you want done can be very rewarding.

Exactly.

Money is there to be spent. I consider that I do anyone a favour in relieving them of the stressful burden of money. Indeed I relieve them as much as I can. Call me a hero, but no amount is too big for me to take - I'll take the lot if necessary. Haha!!!

That said, I have helped many on there way...no charge.

Accept payment but do nice things for him. Like, give him two hours once instead of one.

I'd take the money if he can afford it. If you don't take it, the nature of the relationship changes, and that can complicate things.

I am in full agreement with Kreisler; the truth is we all have some pretty sad stories. He could have been telling you because he was lonely, but from what I read he is not telling you to get out of paying.

Well, this has been quite a learning experience for me.

When we started working together, he told me that he wanted me to accompany him for a song at his church in late November. I agreed to do this, and we met a couple times. I quoted him a price, and he paid me for the first two meetings, the whole time telling me how much he thinks musicians deserve to be paid fairly. Then, we were scheduled to meet on November 11, and I arrived at the school early, and got a phone call from him saying that he didn't realize it was Veteran's Day, and we would have to reschedule. OK, no problem.

Now, I put a lot of work into this, doing my best to give him singing advice, which I'm not really qualified to do (I made this very clear), and we ended up with a nice performance. As I'm getting ready to leave, he tells me that he doesn't have his money with him, and he'll have to pay me at our next "lesson". OK...

The following week, I again arrive at our scheduled time, and get a phone call saying that on the way out to meet me, he fell on the ice and hurt his back. He tells me a story about how two women were walking by and made fun of him. I tell him it's no problem, we'll meet next week.

The next week, I arrive at the school, and wait for him. Fifteen minutes into our scheduled time, I call him, and he says he was sleeping, as this is the last day he is taking his muscle relaxants for his back, and he can't believe this happened, as this is so unlike him. He offers to pay me for the times he's missed. I say it's no problem, we'll just meet next week.

The next week, same thing. I call him and he says he totally forgot about our meeting, and he was just cooking dinner for his son. He is very apologetic, and promises to be there the next week.

Finally, he shows up. We work for an hour, and then talk about money. He again says that he will pay me for the times he missed, and I say it's no problem, as I was already at the school anyway. I agree for him to pay me for one missed session, the time at the church, and the rehearsal we had just had. He agrees, and then informs me he doesn't have his money with him. He tells me he will call me the next day, and we will meet that day so he can give me the money. I ask if the afternoon is OK, and he says "yes, I have to transfer money into another account, but it should be all set by then." As we're walking out, he tells me four interesting things: 1) he is interested in taking voice lessons, which cost $1000 a semester, and this is affordable, 2) his schizophrenic son was adopted, and he actually found him wandering the streets, 3) one of his other foster children had recently come home and robbed his house, 4) he wants to buy a laptop computer, and hopes he can spend less than $500.

The next day, I call him at noon, and he was asleep. He tells me he will take a shower, and call me back so we can arrange a meeting. At 3:00, I still haven't heard from him, so I call him back. He doesn't pick up. I call him several times that day and the next, and haven't heard back. This was before Christmas.

I don't think I can afford to be so nice in the future.

spatial :

I learning - or life experience - indeed.

It seems to me that you did all you should have done, bent over backwards, as it were, to accommodate him. His alleged health and family difficulties notwithstanding, it seems that he has not made much effort to keep his part of the verbal bargain.

It's probably experience gained at the price of the money owed you, but it seems to me that it would be advisable to graciously decline any further "lessons" with this individual. You can only go so far extending courtesies to someone who takes advantage of them, after which you end up becoming the fool. This, of course, is just opinion and not meant to be taken as unsolicited advice. It's your decision where you go from here with this singer.

Accompanying can be fun, rewarding work. I hope you can find someone else to work with.

Regards,

Sometimes we have to learn the hard way. This is why so many teachers get payment in advance. I have a policy about paying for lessons the week before they begin. There is a late fee for anything that goes beyond the 10th of the month without payment, and lesson stop. This is called "cutting one's losses". Sure, I may never get paid for that first lesson they received (or two, depending on their lesson day), but that's better than 3 unpaid or 4.

Also, I discuss payment when they come for their lesson, not after I've given them one to find out they still don't have the money.

I do not do make-ups for skipped lessons, and technically I only give one make up per semester. In order to get their one make-up, they must cancel within 24 hours of the lesson. If a student has paid in advance and don't show, I'm not out of any money. However, I'm in this business to teach, a not make money off of people with scheduling problems, so I will also discontinue teaching a students if there are too many missed lessons.

Having a written policy that is explicit on these terms really helps the person understand that this is something you are taking seriously. It is up to you to enforce it, though. Never be ashamed for asking for money, and don't be afraid to drop them until they get caught up in payments.

BTW, if I am playing for a one-time thing like a wedding, I will have them pay for all rehearsals and the event upfront. I don't want to go tracking down the bride after the wedding looking for a check.

You can have a clear conscious that you bent over backwards to accommodate this man. You are entitled to be paid because you're a professional. Enjoying your work doesn't mean that you're not entitled to payment. In fact, enjoying your work and getting paid is a win win situation for everyone.

It sounds like this man has lots of issues unrelated to singing. It's easy to be sympathetic and want to be helpful, but that's beyond what you signed on for. There are many outlets for donating your musical talents to appreciative people. When you donate your time, it's OK to enjoy the giving and to establish the rules. Your exchanges with this man simply sound frustrating.

My advice is to give up trying to get paid, take the loss, and have no further dealings with him. Taking care of you is not a priority for him, and trying to chase him down for payment will likely cause you stress. If he calls you and wants to resume, you are free to vaguely say that you don't have time.

Why not send him an invoice for services rendered?

Once paid, you can then say that future services are no longer available.

This person obviously took advantage of you.

Take the money. I've had situations like that when I was younger. For example, I was helping a blind composer by notating his pieces. After a while, I felt bad taking his money, so I offered to work for free. He took me up on that with gratitude, but after a while, a very uncomfortable dynamic grew between us, and I had to quit helping him. I don't think that would have happened if I'd kept charging him.