I have an 8 year old student who pronounces staccato as "scattato." It's so cute and makes me smile everytime.

An adorable boy I teach was frustrated over a piece he was learning. I explained to him that students may work for months (or even years!) on pieces. I then pulled out my tattered Beethoven Sonata Volume II book to show him the one I was working on currently. He gasped and asked if the time signature was 100/4 because "there were so many notes in each measure." These are the moments that make every difficult moment disappear.

But she might be right. Maybe her dad plays guitar and uses tab. Then there usually are 6, but sometimes only 5. Or 4 for ukulele music.

This is a great one for me, as I've just started teaching in a primary school! I've only given 3 lessons.

In the first lesson where I was mostly observing, when I took the reins, the girl said, "You should cut your hair. Your hair looks like a girl and your face looks like a boy." Haha, my hair goes down to my shoulders.

My regular student (I think he's seven or eight) says a couple of times each lesson, "I need to do some exercises," and then does several pushups.

When he can't remember something, he scratches his face and says, "Ummm . . . tsk, oh . . . hmm . . . ummm . . . tsk, oh." Then smacks his forehead.

I teach 6 year old twins. Last lesson their mother told me she had explained to them where babies come from - Dad has tadpoles and mom has an egg and the other fine details of anatomy. The twins only had one question. "Isn't our piano teacher also a pianist?"

Funny!

But I discovered I can be funny too. I have a student who is extremely shy and guarded. Very obedient, very nervous, won't speak unless spoken to.

Last week she sneezed a real wet one into her sleeve. 'Would you like a hankie?' I asked. She considered and relied 'no'. 'What are sleeves for, anyway', I asked.

And do you know what, she actually smiled!

I introduced staccato to a 6 year old student at his lesson this week. He said "Oh, it's the opposite of this one" and he pointed to a fermata.

LOL! He's right! One you hold less than the note value, the other you hold longer than the note value.

Last week I did an exercise with my primary school student. I said the names of different notes and he would have to find and play it as quickly as possibly.

I called out all white notes except for once -- to test him, I said A sharp. He looked at me, his eyes went big and his jaw dropped. Haha, I showed him where A sharp was, but I didn't take it any further than that because he's not ready to add in any black notes. Still, it was very funny to see!

This thread is priceless.

I was shooting a performance movie of a three-year-old student (an experimental adventure!) and right before his last notes, he looked right at us and announced, "I have to go caca." ON CAMERA! We died. I always chuck the footage that I don't end up using in those movies, but I kept that one.

Also, I have another student who likes me, but has a strange way of handling when things don't go his way. He looks at me and says, "I hate you! I'm going to kill you! I'm going to slit your throat!, etc." I recognize this as an attempt to derail the lesson so he doesn't have to keep working... So I just smile and say, "That's fine, but you'll have to wait till the timer goes off first. Now where were we..."

And this is a student you keep!

Yes, I'm happy to keep him... Without going into great detail, his personal circumstances are not the best. His grandparents pay for his lessons and do their best to raise him with the limited access they have to him. He is a jewel of a kid, and I know that he doesn't know how to handle his emotions well. I've worked with kids for years, and I've learned how to "pick my battles". Some things must be addressed immediately... other times, if it's a play for attention and distraction, it's best to not acknowledge it. That turns out to be the best deterrent for that behavior, I think!

Good to hear. All the same, watch your back.