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Hi, I'm new here. So I was wondering why teachers never respond to emails about music. Honestly, i like my piano teacher but it's getting frustrating. These are emails about future days of lessons (no answer). Or I ask if we could do extra lessons by video during the week to see if i improved on certain problems brought up...and no answer. By the way, I made sure to mention that I would pay for the time taken to look and commetn on my videos, pro-rated based on the half-hour lesson fee charged....no answer. This is getting ridiculous. I am very passionate about learning the piano and want to improve. I am an adult beginner. My piano teacher is very nice (in person) and I enjoy our lessons very much...but it's getting really frustrating. Any advice on how to approach this with the teacher? From reading these posts, most teachers are not adverse to conversing/answering their students' questions by email, right??? Sorry for the rant, i'm just losing patience here. Is it time to find a new teacher?

What did you teacher say when you asked her about this?

Are you sure she received the emails?

How many other students does she have?

How long has it been since you emailed her?

If you're not getting a response via email, then why didn't you pick up the phone, or discuss this face to face during the lesson?

Good luck.

I like my teacher. I guess, I made up excuses in the past....like oh, s/he is busy, has other commitments, emergency came up, etc.... so I never complained about this. We do end up discussing my questions during lessons, but I really think these could have been answered by emails -- hence lesson time better spent. This has gone on for 2 months now. It's annoying waiting 6 days to get an answer to a music question (in person). And, teacher doesn't ever call back either so it's pointless to call and leave a voicemail. I've left 2 voicemails in the past, never received a call or an email back. Teacher just waits till lesson time to answer my questions. But my patience is running thi., I am now determined to bring this up at this week's lesson. No more excuses, no matter how nice s/he is. I just don't understand -- am I supposed to pay this person for answering emails now too?

Have you actually ever discussed the issue with your teacher of communicating by email? Has your teacher actually said it's OK for you to ask questions/arrange lesson details etc by email?

How many emails are you sending? A busy teacher bombarded with emails he/she hasn't time to answer properly may just decide to wait to your next lesson time.

Some people are happy to do it, others aren't. You can't just ask about "why teachers never respond to emails" without this background information. For example, not everyone checks their email every day, for various reasons. Some would prefer to have these sorts of communications by phone, or in person at the lesson time.

Teachers are different - they're not one big lump called "teachers". I personally am happy to arrange certain things via text message. Other teachers I've met don't even know what a text message is. Some teachers have small studios - others have very busy teaching schedules and professional commitments.

Just as an aside - if you're having weekly lessons I would find the video check-up mid-week to be overkill, personally. Sure things can go wrong in a week. They can also go wrong in a day, too. Are you going to check in every day?

I don't mean to sound unkind. You appear frustrated. But maybe your teacher is, too!

I would bring it up at the next lesson. "I often have questions that come up between lessons that I would like to have answered. What is the best way to contact you with questions I have between lessons?"

Just read your second post. Hmmm.
You say " I just don't understand -- am I supposed to pay this person for answering emails now too?" You want him to be on call to help you whenever you want without payment? You want questions answered outside lesson time so that lesson time is not "wasted"? What about the teacher's time?

Reminds me of a violinist I was rehearsing with. When the rehearsal was over her mother didn't want to pay me the full fee because she said I wasn't actually playing for the full hour. I was actually talking for some of it!!

Definitely the best way to proceed.

I will. I've just been keeping this in for so long! hahaha..sorry about the rant. I don't bombard my teacher with questions. It's at most 1-2 emails per week, very short. And my teacher IS familiar with emails -- s/he is young! I'm not looking for someone to be at my beck and call, but yeah, it would be nice to find out why I never hear back. Personally, I don't think the video lessons are too much...how can it be too much to ask for corrections early on instead of later during lessons? If I know I'm doing something wrong right away, then I'd have time to correct it for the upcoming lesson right? And if I'm willing to pay for this service, how can it be overkill?

I can see where the videos would be problematic.

- you: video#1 - "does this sound ok?"

- teacher: "i think you need to hold your wrist higher."

- you: video #2 - "is this too high, or still too low?"

- teacher (who would much prefer to be demonstrating this in person): "no. wrist is fine. now you're holding oyur shoulders too high."

- you: video #3 "so, how are my wrists, and shoulders now?"

- teacher: 'why don;t we talk about this at your lesson."

I agree you need to bring it up with the teacher. (I'm an adult student, not a teacher). I can think of many reasons why your requests might not be met--but she should give you a straight answer. Many teachers are busy, and unscheduled claims on their time might be difficult for them to handle. She might find reviewing videos time-consuming and unfamiliar, and not easily fit into her schedule. Even if your e-mails are short questions, they still take time to answer. It seems unreasonable to me to expect a teacher to answer questions related to a lesson outside the lesson unless he/she is being paid.

My teacher has stated upfront that she will not respond to e-mails, and she often cannot return phone calls for 1-3 days. I don't think this is unusual.

Hi, Mary -

I'm not young, but I, too, can use e-mail I don't, however, check it constantly, or at regular intervals. And it's not always the best way to communicate, particularly, I would think, about playing piano. So, while I would ask my teacher, as Phlebas says, what the best way to communicate in between lessons is, I wouldn't be surprised if e-mail isn't the best way. My 2c, of course.

As for the video. Well, if your teacher has a full schedule of students, then it may be that payment for the time watching and responding to a video may not be the issue. It would be like giving another lesson, and perhaps that isn't what she needs right now. It would also be like giving another *unscheduled* lesson - which I for one don't have the personality to like doing I have enough going on in my life to want the time for other things, and the time to schedule other things, besides work. Payment really isn't the consideration at all, for me, and perhaps not for your teacher. Just a different perspective to consider.

At any rate, Phlebas is right on.

Cathy

With one or two e-mails per week, and wanting a video check midweek, I suggest you schedule 2 lessons per week. You are essentially saying that going a week between lessons is too much of a wait for you.

+1

Mary, in all honesty, if I had students pummeling me with emails (consider 2 a week times 30 - 50 students), I wouldn't have a life.

Thoughtful replies take time to compose, proof-read, to insure that you're not saying something wrong/offensive/easily misconstrued.

Additionally, many, if not most, music teachers, regardless of age, are not into technology and could care less about texting, twittering, facebook, myspace, etc. Then there's a love-hate relationship with the computer. What is obvious and fun to geeks is mystifying and frustrating to others. Why can't you just shut the dang thing off when your done? Why is everything so complicated?

In sum, what you consider a trivial request is actually very demanding. IMHO!

I have not received very many emails from students about lessons over the years. I have had some phone calls to verify something on the assignment page the majority were to discuss business or concerns.

I have one adult student who does email me and I enjoy the messages and questions that he asks in enthusiasm. Mostly I do have time to answer the messages but there are times when it must be discussed at lesson anyway so I'll put it off if possible for in person communication.

Taking care of emails from students is one of those things that many teachers consider outside the scope of what we can do to help someone.

Perhaps your teacher is adverse to your demands but doesn't want to say no. The other perhaps is that he/she has never gotten your emails. The teacher should handle this promptly if he/she is unable to correspond with you outside the lesson.

I certainly could not find the time or energy to take care of lots of students asking the same of me.

I do it for my student because he is very polite, appreciates it, and makes use of what we talk about. But, letting the student know that it is not always convenient helps the student to know that attention will be given to the concern - just not now and not by email.

Good luck to you Mary!

Betty Patnude

I have received emails from students in the past, and I'm fine with that. I prefer that to a phone call, actually, because when I am done teaching int he evening, it's usually too late to return phone calls after I eat dinner. I can do emails at any time. If it's too complicated, then I just let them know we'll be sure to discuss it at their lesson.

But I know some people who prefer not to use email, and perhaps she's not returning your calls because she just figures it would be better to tell you the answer in person. Her lack of response might be a big hint to you that she's not able to give you more time than your lesson right now. You may, however, want to ask her for two lessons a week instead of one and see if that can fit into both of your schedules.

Piano is a very independent instrument. We often don't get to play with others like singers or orchestra/band instruments can. And so we do depend a lot on ourselves just getting through the week on our own.

My teacher has asked me specifically to send her things by e-mail (e.g. adjudication comments), but she never replies back to comment on them or confirm that she received them before the lesson. I always assumed that she preferred to discuss things in person. I can easily see music teachers being taken advantage of by students who want "free tips" and constantly bombard them with e-mails. Would you like it if your boss e-mailed you twice a week offering to pay you for doing work during your time off, time that you would rather spend with your family? Since your teacher is young, she may be hesitant to communicate these things to you. One can tell by her choosing to address your concerns during lessons that she probably doesn't want to spend her free time answering e-mails. People want a life outside of work, and this includes piano teachers! I don't think this should be justification for dismissing a teacher if your communication during lessons is fine and you're progressing nicely. However, it's always good to ask your teacher about a way of reliably reaching her in case of emergency cancellations or scheduling changes.

Mary, I hope you will ask your teacher in person at your next lesson about how to contact her outside of lesson time. To some students, this communication is important. I am an email fanatic but many people are not. I encourage students and parents to email me so I can read and answer them at my convenience. A few of my students and parents do email me once a week or so but not more often than that. I agree with John, who posted earlier, that more than one email a week from students can be excessive, depending on the content. If it's a lesson reschedule issue, that's one thing, but if we are talking about technical issues with a piece, that's another.
Tell your teacher about your need to communicate outside of lesson time and see how she replies, then take it from there.
There are many good piano teachers and quite possibly you need someone with whom you feel more comfortable.

Some people just don't want to use email, and for those people there's no point in trying to make them.

Teachers may have to be careful about not answering very much email about music, because lessons by email are so difficult and inefficient. I wouldn't exactly come out and say that conducting lessons by email is a complete waste of time, but almost.

I treat email about scheduling concerns very differently, and I try to respond promptly to it each time. However, if I felt a student was taking advantage of me or pestering me, either by asking me to change lessons for frivolous reasons, or simply by asking too many times, I would have no choice but to stop responding to the requests.

I think students build up good-will with a teacher, by showing up reliably at their usual time, practicing, and generally following the teacher's advice, all for a long period of time. If you're fairly new to this teacher, or if you find yourself frequently having to ask to re-schedule, or if you never seem to find enough time to practice, or some of each of those, then a "good-will deficit" (if we can call it that) can also be part of the situation.

Having said all that, the best thing would be to just ask your teacher in person. If you just went ahead and assumed that any of what I said is true, and it turned out that I was completely wrong, it could cause some unfortunate misunderstandings.

Mary, please take a deep breath and look at how you sound. You want attention and answers immediately. You are assuming your teacher should be checking his/her email and voice mail constantly just in case you have decided to send her a question. You assume s/he has nothing else happening in his or her life so there is time to answer your questions during your non-lesson time. You are assuming your teacher has the time for video lessons (get real). You assume s/he is techno savvy.

I have some disappointing news for you: you are not the center of the universe. Your teacher's time is a commodity you must pay for. You have to remember that s/he has many other obligations besides satisfying your needs and queries immediately. Your complaint reminds me of students (and parents) who email me and want answers within the hour. They lose sight of the fact that I get in excess of 50 emails a day which all have to be carefully answered. I also teach 2 subjects, have 150 students, a life, a piano that needs practicing on, a house, 2 dogs and a family. You are impatient about learning the piano and you are impatient with your teacher. Life is not about instant gratification and learning the piano takes time. Teachers do not teach 24/7.

Your comment about your teacher knowing how to email "because she is young" is insensitive, ignorant and insulting.

Frankly, you sound like a kid who is used to having everyone at your beck and call, who thinks the world revolves around you and that satisfying your needs is the purpose for all existence. You assume older folks are technically incompetent. Bluntly, you sound like an immature, presumptuous pest.

I don't often get testy in this forum, but you really set me off. Try putting yourself in your teacher's shoes and grow some patience!

Dang Goodog, That WAS kinda harsh.

Yeah, teachers don't teach 24/7 but thay also have to accomodate students in their studio. So often we are used ot teacher centered education, but results only come when we discard that old mindset and take-on a more updated approach - student centered education.

I just believe that there are different kinds of students and that the way to handle the more "needy" ones, is to teach them strategies for independence.

I am a teacher and thouroughly enjoy my job and students. Unfortunately, some teachers are not like that. To some its just a reliable source of income.

The fact of the matter is: its your money- if your not satisfied with your teacher, get another. But this time, interview and have trial lessons first. Verify that they are computer savy and any other desires you have in a piano teacher.


Everybody has their own personality. There is nothing wrong with looking for a teacher that best fits yours.

Mary 6118, are you a reacreational piano student, or something more?

I heartily agree. While I understand where Deborah's reaction is coming from, there's one aspect of Mary's post that bothers me about the teacher's behavior: the comment that the teacher doesn't return phone calls or emails and that this has been going on for two months. Yes, Mary is remiss in not asking her teacher sooner about how she prefers to handle communication outside of class, or even if she is willing to have ANY form of out-of-class communication. But the teacher is also at fault for not telling Mary sooner that she will not return calls or emails and/or being very clear about her preferences on such contacts. If she doesn't want to answer student phone calls outside of lessons, she should've told Mary so at the first opportunity after the very first voice message.

I want to stress that I believe it is entirely up to the teacher to determine how often and in what modality she will respond to requests outside of class. But to say nothing about it and simply not return a call, for two straight months, is rude, imo. So I also understand and sympathize with Mary's frustration.

At the beginning of each semester I spend about 10 minutes in class discussing how students can get hold of me (email, home phone, cell phone) as well as going over guidelines about doing so (no calls after 10 pm, emails will be replied to within 24 hours unless I am going out of town for the weekend, etc.). I think a similar discussion would be quite useful for piano teachers to undertake at the first lesson, and perhaps even something to include in any written studio policies you might have.

I agree. Good idea.

If the scenario is accurate as we have received it:
[1]Mary should have clarified this with her teacher earlier. (Why hasn't she?)
[2]The teacher should have clarified this with Mary earlier. (Why hasn't she?)
[3]Now they both should clarify it without delay.

I suspect there are a few details missing which would clarify things for us, too ...

Questions about how to play better are what you pay the teacher for. Asking those questions outside of your lesson time is something you would need very special permission about, with any teacher. Asking questions about how to play and so on, over email, is like getting a doctor to diagnose your condition at a party - or in other words, just about the same as demanding free lessons. If one of my eager students (teenage or younger) did this, I would accept it - I guess I'd go for one email every month, or less. If they did it much more than that, I would stop answering, and I would tell them "I'm sorry but I can't keep answering all the messages, because it's like giving away lesson time for free. Please just ask when you come to your lesson. I hope you understand."

Mary mentioned a few posts back that she would willingly pay for these "extra" lessons given over the internet, I think she said in a video possibility.
I do agree wholeheartedly with David's post here, and to expand on it:
As a teacher myself, I would not feel comfortable teaching a lesson via email correspondence or answering technical questions. Too much gets taken out of context in emails as it is. And there's the issue of technique and everything else. I would offer to teach an extra lesson in person.

Mary is a new member on November 17, 2009 and has made 3 postings when she started her topic:"Teacher never responds". Mary said: "Hi, I'm new here. So I was wondering why teachers never respond to emails about music." Then she went on to state her case.

I certainly understand Deborah's irritation level because although the complaint specifically was about her teacher, but also made a statment about teachers in general. Talking to teachers in the teachers forum in an accusatory way is not a wise thing to do. I responded as did others as to how to try to find a solution. It would be better to work it out with your present teacher than to leave in a huff. This particular problem is not going to stop just because you change teachers - it probably will travel with you - or something else will come up in a similar tone of voice. And, so far, 2 months of the problem is your responsibility because you still have the problem 2 months later because your methods of communication with your teacher have not been effective.

I think Deborah has said something that had to be said from the point of view of a public school teacher and a adult student and performer who copes daily in meeting the demands of her life because of excessive emails some or maybe most written in a irritating tone of voice to her and expecting instant attention.

Deborah, I'm all for you expressing yourself here in the forum, it has given us something to think about.

In a way, Mary, I wish your teacher were a member here so she could communicate her side of the story. That might be very interesting.

I hope you can find a solution and use this as a learning experience.

Betty Patnude

I'm sitting on the bench with gooddog.

Mary,

Your teacher sounds a bit like mine. My teacher never gets back to me by emails either. I guess my teacher may just feel more comfortable giving me an answer in person. I don't get mad or anything. It's just a music question so the answer can wait! It's not life and death...hahaha...If you have to spend lesson time on questions, then that's what you're paying the teacher for. I do think your teacher should have discussed his or her reason for not replying back to you though...that's really odd..even if you don't bring it up. But talk to your teacher, don't keep it in and get mad!

I also don't know about video lessons..although i've read somewhere here that some people have to resort to video lessons when they live in isolated areas. In your case, you don't need video lessons -- I second asking for two lessons during the week if you feel the need for them.

If I had to teach by video correspondence, I would need to set up a system of how much to charge; I would have to change my record-keeping and billing; I would have to set aside special time for it, but never know how much. In short, it would be a mess that I would just rather not deal with.

Perhaps "A mess I would rather not deal with" describes how the original teacher in this thread may have viewed some emails as well. Put some people in such a situation, and they might choose to just not answer, rather than get into a big uncomfortable discussion about it.

I hear that piano lessons via skype are superb. There was a lecture and demonstration on it given at the 2009 national MtNA conference in Atlanta. There is a way to link pianos so that you can see th ekeys being played on the recipient's piano and vice versa. It may be through yamaha, since they were the ones primarily sponsoring the conference.

I think its exciting and a chance to "study" with teachers who you wouldn't have access to any other way.

Certainly that's a useful method, IF the teacher is set up for it and was planning to do things that way.

I agree, *and* has spent the money on the technology for such things. There are complications that come with this, and it may not be worth it for a teacher to do this for a student who can and does come once a week.

While I don't have a problem with replying to a student's email, if they are stuck at some point, between lessons, it can sometimes turn into a marathon, with each answer generating another question, and so on.

Maybe this has happened with your teacher in the past, and he/she, is reluctant to get into that situation again.

Having said that, your teacher should make their policy on the subject, clear from the outset, so you both know where you stand.

In my own case, as I also provide lessons via Skype, I would offer a 'mini lesson' (10- 15 mins, maybe) payable pro rata, if a student requested it.

I know that this method doesn't suit all teachers, but it can be a useful, extra income stream.

Well, it should spur the old-heads to get with the program.)

Old-heads?

I was wondering about that too. Sounds like an insult but I've already used up my vitriole for the week.

I hope someone will laugh, but the first thing I thought when I read this was "What are the "young whippersnappers" doing calling us "old-heads"?

You know - if you consider the choices - what option is there to growing older? You got it, dying.

There definitely is a creative force that has planned for everything - if ego was in charge - no one would grow old, there would be no fat people, no wrinkles. But we're allowed to decline and pass away and make space for other people to populate the earth. Early warning: we all leave the planet.

I admire technology that lets us do so many things - but when the lights go out everything that plugs in ceases working until the electricity is back on or there is a power backup or generator power.

We older teacher's are still running on our own power without the desire for enhancements and if we really wanted the "toys" we would have them. The conditions by candlelight and with ink and ink quill were good enough for our early musical masters. They filled up their live spans quite well with a minimum of enablers.

Just something to think about and a perspective that older people are likely to have.

If you want technology in your studio is yours for the investment.

Betty Patnude

Very nicely said, Betty! Here's to us Old Heads. (better than being called Old Farts )

Betty, what you said brings two thoughts to mind:

1. I like my white hair and wrinkles - they are evidence of a life well lived. I actually find them quite amusing because they remind me of what is truly important!

2. While I consider myself to be very techno-savvy, I'm always grateful that the piano is not dependent on modern conveniences such as electricity. Even when the power goes out, I still have the things that count - family and my beloved piano.

You young "whippersnappers" need to realize that an older face hides a young, agile mind. We still think like youngsters - but have some wisdom and more patience and we are much clearer about what is really important in life. Trust me, it's not about knowing how to Twitter! I remember my 98 year old grandmother expressing surprise when she looked at herself in the mirror. She was expecting to see a 16 year old girl because that is how she thought of herself. Getting older is quite a pleasant surprise. Just wait. You'll see.

There is clearly a generation gap in the use of electronic communication.

There is also a technology gap - the ability to do emails, IMs, and text messages has outpaced our thinking about how to use these ideas.

My teacher and I use email to adjust schedules, etc. Brief messages that require no thought. "I have the flu, can we reschedule?" "my other student will run long, can you come 15 minutes late?" This could be done by phone, but it's hard to catch either of us. Anything longer is simply inappropriate. I get 100 plus emails a day including weekends, I struggle to keep unreads below 1000. "how do I do the trill in the 2cnd movement of the Clementi?" Not gonna happen.

Most of us have one teacher, it is easy to assume they have only one student. If so they are broke! Why can't they remember? Why don't they respond instantly? Because there are 20 of us and one of them.

But the answer is simple.

You don't send your daily thoughts by email to your teacher for personal response, anymore than you would write a letter every time you wondered about a fingering or an ornament.

You have THE FORUM! That's what it's for. This one, pianostreet, there is probably one that fits every need. Use that for your daily between lessons crises rather than going to your teacher.

Or, pay for daily lessons. That works too. I'm told.

This is not about old-fashioned teachers needing to "get with the program". If a teacher offered "Video lessons $20" or some such, and was expecting and encouraging their students to use the video option as a supplement to weekly in-person lessons, it would be great for everybody. In a case such as we're discussing, it's the STUDENT who appears not "with the program", though here the evidence is one-sided and indefinite and sounds rather strange, so I'm not honestly sure what to make of it. (In defense of the original poster, getting no answer at all from repeated emails is confusing and frustrating, and easily avoidable from the other end.)

Again, with a slightly different use of the same example as before: you can't just email your doctor and start explaining some new health problem you've noticed, and expect her to respond by the end of the day with a diagnosis. Why should a piano teacher suddenly be different?

Part of the problem can be (and I'm not referring to anyone in this thread, but speaking from past experience) some students feel that since music is a recreation activity for them, then it must be the same for their teacher too. Nobody makes that mistake with doctors or plumbers, for obvious reasons.

I am always open to using new technology, when it can work to my advantage. I suspect most of us are.

For the record, this 'young whippersnapper' began offering lessons via Skype, at the tender age of 55

And one does wonder how the OP would feel if they received an invoice for the time it took to answer said emails. This is what lawyers do when you call to talk to them.

It's one thing to say you'll pay for a video conference mid-week, but another to pay for a 20 minute response to an email question multiplied by how many emails were sent and responded to. One would think such a thing would instantly reduce the number of emails sent to a minimum.

And, like I said before, Skype lessons are not the ideal. I take Skype lessons with my voice teacher because he is half way across the country and there is literally no one closer I trust. However, even though I am set up for that, I really would not want to give Skype lessons at this point in my life. There are certainly many students who would prefer that, but I'm already at my max for students and adding more on the plate would not be a wise decision. Perhaps the OP's teacher is in this boat as well.

I'm young. I like the computer. The video thing sounds like a real PITA. Teaching via email sounds like a PITA, too-- it takes too much time and effort to compose in an email something that could be more easily communicated in person.

Wow, this thread has turned into a mess =P.

There is obviously a gap between student expectations and what the teacher is willing to do. It seems to me that teachers (high school and college) are expected to spend time outside of class if their students request it. Professors at both colleges I have gone to have assigned office hours, and students can visit them then. They also encourage email questions, and are very prompt in responding (provided that you get to them before 5 on a business day).

Just an interesting comparison: I pay roughly $350 tuition for a quarter class. During this quarter we get 5 hours of a teachers time a week and then we can email whenever we want, and get individualized attention if we so desire. I'm not going to try to make a point with that, but I thought it might stir some thoughts.

Firstly, I would like to say it is completely unreasonable to EXPECT a teacher to want to do video lessons. If she wants to, then that's just gravy. I personally wouldn't want to bother setting up a webcam at my piano and trying to teach someone that way (not that I will ever be a piano teacher).

Emailing is a different matter. I was told when I first started lessons that emailing questions is okay, and I have taken advantage of it on occasion. I believe the teacher should have clearly outlined what she regarded as acceptable for outside-of-lesson communication.

Further, not responding to emails is just plain rude. That is undeniable. If someone contacts you, then you contact them back. I refuse to believe that anyone has so little time on their hands, that they can't email, "I'm sorry, but I do not answer questions outside of lesson time. Please write down your questions, and we will go over them next week." That is common politeness, and typing it cost me all of 15 seconds. Ignoring someone like this isn't acceptable in my book. Saying no is okay. Ignoring someone is not.

As to the teacher not being tech-savvy, and not using email...well, if that was the case, then she probably wouldn't be giving out her email to students in the first place.

I don't think it is unreasonable to want a teacher to correspond with you via email. However, I do think the student should take some care in what they ask. Waiting a week for an answer to a simple yes/no question does seem a little on the ridiculous side. However, I wouldn't expect any teacher to be giving me an essay-length piece of instruction. I think asking for clarification on something already done, or something of that nature is great, but the teacher shouldn't be teaching outside of lesson time.

I think that in this case, the student should have long since talked to the teacher about this issue, and the attitude that he/she came to this forum with is all wrong. I would empathize with someone who is upset at being ignored. I am not concerned with someone who expects his/her teacher to jump at his/her beck and call.

The student's attitude needs a little work, but I feel that the teacher handled this poorly. It's all well to say that the student should bring this up, and perhaps that is true, but I don't think the student should have to. I wouldn't be comfortable with asking someone, "Hey, why have you been ignoring me for the past week?" I know that's not what the student would say, but it basically comes down to that.

Bottom line: the teacher should have communicated what she was comfortable with when the lessons first started. Failing that, she should have responded to the student. Giving her email implies that she can be contacted that way. If she doesn't want to be contacted, that is perfectly acceptable, but she should have told the student her position on the matter.

I'm hoping that Mary will come back here and tell us what happened at this week's lesson when she talked with her teacher. We are missing the other side of the story. One thing I find interesting here is that "this has gone on for 2 months now". Does this mean the OP has taken lessons from this teacher for just 2 months?

Daniel brought up a very good point. Teachers at universities ARE expected to get back to their students outside class time. Much of the learning happens outside of class anyway, so it would be unrealistic for the student NOT to have questions when they're practicing outside of lessons. I agree too that I wouldn't feel too comfortable asking the teacher why he or she has been ignoring my emails. It's all very weird. But it did sound like Mary's questions were answered during lessons so teacher DID read her emails! Why not shoot back a quick reply after reading them?? I know piano teachers out there may slam me for this, but I don't think this teacher is very responsible nor cares much about his or her students. It's one thing to have a life outside of lessons -- of course we all do! -- but still, a teacher has responsibilities that go beyond just hte lesson and should have laid the rules out to Mary from the beginning if he or she wasn't going to meet her expectations as a teacher. The teacher has essnetially been ignoring Mary and her concerns. I, for one, want my teacher to care about me as a person too and not just someone who pays them x amount of money every week to teach me piano. I don't think we need to slam Mary too much. She was frustrated and found her outlet to vent on this forum. Let's not be unkind people. I sense that many teachers here were offended by Mary's post, but realize that all teachers are different.

If a teacher answers a student's questions in lessons, that teacher is not being irresponsible. Taking it a bit further - playing piano is a physical activity which if done wrongly can lead to injury. If the teacher cannot see the student and doesn't understand the question, or the student misunderstands the answer then the student may injure herself. Maybe it is irresponsible TO answer a question outside of lessons! Depending on the nature of the questions, there may be another reason. Learning to play is a physical process. Our ability to master something involves working on it for a number of days and no answers can speed that up. This is why there is a period of time between lessons rather than daily lessons.

Since teachers are human I can imagine some teachers, especially younger ones, might feel shy or rude to say "stop e-mailing me this often" and so say nothing, hoping the problem will go away.

(as student, ofc)

Great point, Bella, that Mary's teacher did read her emails but chose not to respond to her in that format.
I agree with you that Mary is venting her frustration here and that's fine, many of us do it and get support.
Mary's frustration in her first post comes across as though she does not respect her teacher. If that is the case, don't you think she needs to change teachers? Find one who does skype lessons and more internet communication?
There are teachers here who do internet lessons exclusively.

Great post, Daniel. I agree with you 100%. Unless there is more to the story than Mary has told us (always a possibility), I think it's wrong to characterize this situation as being entirely Mary's responsibility or fault, as some on this thread have done.

Bella, I think the main reason for the "outrage" was because of the topic name which was "why don't teachers respond to emails" or some such thing, implying that teachers in general do this. It has since been changed.

I agree with you and Daniel that number one, the teacher should have responded in some way. We don't know if the teacher actually gave out her email or if the student found it by some other means. It is definitely not proper etiquette to ignore emails. I personally encourage my students to email me with questions if they have any during the week, and some have done so. It's usually not something major that requires a lot of explanation, and most often it's clarification of instructions given. I prefer this to a phone call, because phone calls tend to go on much longer than they should (I'm a talker, OK? :P ), and emails can be succinctly stated.

If Mary's teacher feels differently about this, then she needs to state this to her, and you're right, Mary shouldn't have to ask "why have you been ignoring my emails?".

Oh, one last thing to consider. Some people have their email filtered so that only those who are "approved" get to their inbox, the rest go int he Junk Mail folder. And most people do not check Junk Mail folder. If Mary's email is not one the teacher recognizes, then she probably won't open it. It would be a shame if this were all a misunderstanding like this!

University teachers are paid a salary, and in exchange for that salary are expected to be available basically all day or as their agreement dictates. Your ordinary piano teacher gets paid by the hour, and may have another job, or a patchwork of little jobs, to make enough money.

Daniel, this may be a generational thing, but I disagree with you in part.

Firstly, when students begin with me, a private teacher, I do tell them that they can phone me with questions, but that I may not be able to get back to the immediately, or even before the lesson. However, that communications is limited to my business phone line, not my personal phone line. I have not extended that to email, although I do have a few parents who do notify me of illness/absence via email, I generally return communication with a phone call, as we may have to set a lesson reschedule time, and it's more efficient on the phone.

When people show up at the front door uninvited, you are not obliged to answer the door, to let them in, to give them time, etc. Ditto for telephone calls. Calling your house, uninvited is an invasion of personal space. You can decide whether or not you want to allow it, not the initiator of the call.

Emailing someone, uninvited, is a rudeness; choosing not to respond to rudeness doesn't constitute rudeness in return.

So, IMO, it boils down to what the teacher/Studio policies are. If you invite phone calls or emails, then you should respond, unless you have set up other parameters.

I hope I'm making sense here.

You are, John; my comments (and Daniel's as well, I believe) would apply only in the case that the teacher gave Mary her email address, which certainly implies that emailing her was okay. If Mary googled her and found her email address elsewhere and wrote her out of the blue, then I agree with you that the teacher was under no obligation to reply...although I think she should have raised the issue at the next lesson and said something like "I prefer to restrict my email to personal mail, so please ask me any questions in person."

Deborah, even as a 'younger' (in age) member of this forum, may I just say I wholeheartedly agree with you here!!!

If the student has not been made aware of what's acceptable then yes, it is rude not to respond. Uninvited, as in "has never been discussed", does not constitute rudeness. A teacher should at least have the courtesy to say, "Please don't e-mail me or call between classes," etc. if they do not wish to speak. I can't imagine a teacher not even answering the door if a student showed up (because I assume it would have to be important to make the trip).

There is no reason to ignore a student for simply making a mistake or to completely ignore customers really; it's equivalent to sticking your fingers in your ears and saying, "La la la, I can't hear you." As with all businesses and those who sell services, the ones (teachers) without any form of "customer service" whatsoever will always have unhappy customers (students).

I am not talking about you, as you've clearly offered an avenue for students with problems between classes. But I've met teachers (and professors at college) who seemed to think they were doing their students a favor, and their total indifference outside of the time they're being paid for was not conducive to someone with the desire to learn. In these instances I simply found another teacher or switched professors. I would do the same with a doctor or attorney if I could not ask a question unless I was physically there paying for their time, as would most people.

I recognize there is the other extreme (obnoxious and invasive students). Where I disagree is I believe you should tell the student they are not right for you or clarify where the boundaries are in this case, but ignoring them is not right. You are in the position of authority, you are running a business, not doing personal favors; you should be the bigger person.

Keystring said: "Since teachers are human I can imagine some teachers, especially younger ones, might feel shy or rude to say "stop e-mailing me this often" and so say nothing, hoping the problem will go away."

I am not saying that this is how you feel in any way, but I am going to respond to this idea. I am going to get very blunt because I feel strongly about this. I don't care if the person is uncomfortable. I am tired of hearing excuses from people who say they don't like conflict. I don't care. Grow a backbone. Problems don't pick themselves up and go away. Ignoring them won't make them go away. I just lost a highly-valued friendship, due in large part to my friend not being upfront and honest with me. If I know something is wrong, then I can fix it. If I don't know there's a problem, how is it going to get better?

A teacher isn't the same as a friend, but I think they should be held to just as high of a standard, if not higher. A teacher (especially of children) is a person of responsibility and authority. Someone in their position should strive to show an adequate amount of integrity. I would expect someone to show me the proper civility and respect, regardless of whether or not it is easy for them.

I'm sorry if that came out harsh =|


John, there is nothing in your post that I aggressively disagree with. You set boundaries and expectations, and when your students agree to learn from you, they agree to work with you on your terms.

I agree entirely with Monica's response. She took the words right out of my mouth.

As to this,

"Emailing someone, uninvited, is a rudeness; choosing not to respond to rudeness doesn't constitute rudeness in return."

I'm afraid I don't agree with that one. For one, giving your email constitutes as permission. It wouldn't make sense to expect someone to refrain from calling you if you gave them your number; it is the same with email.

It would be a little odd to get an email out of the blue, especially when I did not give it...but is it so much different than a stranger saying hello? Wouldn't ignoring that person be considered rude?

I would never expect someone whom didn't invite me to write them (giving me their email) to respond to me. But it does seem more civil to respond to them anyway, if merely to tell them you would like to not engage in conversation in the future.

I didn't mean to get people so worked up over this. I will discuss this with my piano teacher tomorrow during our lesson. It's embarrassing to ask why I have been ignored, but it seems like the only way.

And how could I have gotten my teacher's email address by googling? That's just silly and offensive to me. I'm not a psychopath. As silly as it sounds, we never discussed how we should communicate if I had questions. Yes, my teacher gave me both email address and cell phone number...so I presumed that I could email questions or call.

I've been taking lessons for a little over 2 months now (2.5 months). My questions are definitely NOT thought-provoking; for example, this week's email was more along the line of "Hi ___ , I know Xmas is coming and I wanted to let you know that I would be gone so and so days. It looks like I could try to squeeze in a makeup lesson between so and so days when I come back if you are available. Please let me know what days work best for you. Thank you."

No answer - and teacher's the one who recommended doing a makeup session!

Yes, of course


I sincerely believe teachers should be available to answer questions from students - but as you say, there must be boundaries. After putting in a long day of nonstop multitasking at a public high school I feel I have the right to say, "Okay, I'm off from work now." Where does anyone come off saying I should be available at all hours to answer student questions? Are you available all day and night to do your job? I am required by contract to be available 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. I and most teachers work at school for 10 or more hours a day. That means I put in 50 hours a week at school plus anywhere from 4 to 10 hours more at home. If I (or a professor) don't answer an email it is certainly not because of indifference. It is because I am exhausted. I do not answer school related emails after school hours or during the weekend. I believe it is not unreasonable to spend some of my life off duty! This does not make me a bad teacher. It makes me a good shepherd of my physical and mental health.

Where did the idea come from that someone becomes a teacher because they want to devote 100% of their waking hours to student development? Teaching is not my life. It is my job. I love my job; I do it well and I love what I teach but I have a life outside of work. How can anyone have the nerve to suggest a teacher must be available at all hours? I didn't take vows when I became a teacher.

Edit: Mary, if your emails are simple rescheduling queries that are going unanswered, your teacher is indeed being rude. Don't let us scare you when we become passionate about a topic we relate to.

Mary, we get worked up here all the time so no worries

Teacher gave you her cell number and email address as contact information but won't answer scheduling questions except during lesson time? I don't like that. Let us know what happens tomorrow!

I was not suggesting that. Merely that at my university it was common practice for professors to set aside a brief period where their students could come in after class if they had questions or did not comprehend something. University e-mail addresses were also available and they would answer when they could if it was not something frivolous. All this was expected of them not just by students, but by administrators as well. Mind you we were paying thousands of dollars per semester compared to the relatively small going rate of something like private piano lessons.

Obviously with private teachers it becomes more subjective. While I do not expect someone to be available 24/7, I don't expect that their instruction during class be the only resources EVER made available to the students, either. There is a great difference between an understandable delay in response due to having a personal life, and completely ignoring someone indefinitely.

I'm not an invasive person who asks a lot of questions outside of lessons, but there have been times something genuinely needed to be clarified and I was ignored for a period of 1-2 weeks. Then at my next lesson they acted dumbfounded as to why I hadn't progressed past that issue. That is what I was describing by indifference and it's not my, or apparently most universities', idea of good teaching.

Daniel, we're probably saying the same thing, but just to clarify, I'm not talking about people to whom I've given my email address. Just those who have used a directory service to get my email.

However, anyone visiting my web site can get my "office" email, and trust me, plenty of people do email out of the blue. I seldom respond, unless it's a very, very polite, "I'm really sorry to intrude, but I have this question which you might help me with. . ." Do you realize that right now, I have hundreds of millions of unclaimed money in various British banks? Fortunately, my email service sweeps out the viagra ads, so I'm not getting those any more.

Daniel - I agree with what you have said here. I think there's an important point for all of us to remember though - the original poster's description of what happened was one-sided and very sketchy indeed.

Oh, I also receive "requests" for lessons from parents all over the world who just happen to be sending their child to Olympia for a few months. Apparently, we have one of the most international cities in the nation!

1) Perhaps the email and phone are for the sole purpose of cancelling your lesson with advance notice?

2) Approximately 10 lessons under your belt with one absence?
May I ask how many times you've emailed the teacher during that time? And for what reasons?

3. 4.) Most teacher would offer you a time they have available and you would reply something like "I'm not able to come that day, but Monday or Tuesday would work for me: Do you have any openings on those days? It sounds like she agrees she will give you a make up, but she does not have a time slot available right now. She will offer a time to you when she has one to offer. She having students who have studied longer probably has a longer make up list than you are aware of and she probably is coming down from the top of the list and will get to your make up when she can.

Are these your first piano lessons in your life or have you studied before? Your approach seems a little demanding to me. The teacher has a "tempo" going of how she operates her studio - the longer she has been teaching - the longer this system has been in existance.

If she has given any printed studio policies to you or they are on her website you should read them carefully. Some studios also have contracts to sign and that should be read carefully.

I think the more you try to fit into her preferred way of handling the business end of her studio, the better you will fit in as her piano student. In my opinion, you are making excessive demands of a teacher who is trying to demonstrate to you by her actions that this is not how she conducts business. You have said that she answers the questions you had during your lessons, so she is not inattentive to your needs.

Everything you have said about the teacher tells me more about your attitude and a need to adjust to the teachers (or any teacher) lead. I'm telling you this because disrespectful attitudes and too much familiarity and asking for attention begins to throb and identify you as a difficult person to get along with. At some point a teacher will decide that the student is not working out and is a big drain on their time and attention. Teachers decide this to protect themselves from stress and abuse.

The teaching part is the joy of it but we can't carry everyone through lessons without there being some good intentions toward the teacher and the other members of the studio. You are turning the things you are telling us into stress - for yourself and for your teacher - by dramatizing the problem and placing blame. It seems like simple polite communication would have solved this problem the first week you had it.

If you want to spin your wheels that's your choice, but the teacher is showing a higher example that you need to see and understand. She doesn't respond to emails of the kind you are sending. She is making a choice she is entitled to make. In my opinion, you are not falling through the cracks in her teaching efforts, but you are about to blow it bigtime. Wherever you go for lessons you will take this attitude with you because it's how you see things. Why not change your attitude behavior and learn a different approach as this one is not working for you.

Your job is to be the best piano student you know how to become - her job is to help you do it. I think with the resentment you have built up in a very short time you would find practicing the piano difficult to do. Your irritation level is high or you wouldn't have applied your "all teachers" comment. I don't think you want to continue in this mode. And, I really do hope you have a better situation really soon. We all thrive on positive things so contribute to turning your situation around immediately or there will be no hope to fix it. I can almost guarantee it.

Your teacher is responding you just haven't gotten the message.

LOL! Olympia and Wausau, WI!

Read Mary's email that she copied verbatim, Betty. That was exceptionally polite. Her teacher gave her her email address and cell phone number. Mary was being perfectly reasonable to assume that it was permissible to use those. The "simple polite communication" that is missing in this interaction is a statement from the teacher weeks ago that she prefers not to answer emails or phone calls from students.



Good grief. The teacher is being rude, but Mary is about to blow it?! Assuming Mary's other emails are phrased just as respectfully as the one she copied to us, the only person who is about to blow it big time is the teacher, imo.



On this point, I actually agree with Betty. The teacher is sending you a message, Mary, and it's not a good one. She is not giving you the courtesy that you deserve; she is treating you like John treats his Nigerian email spammers. I personally would find her behavior offensive, and assuming a face-to-face conversation didn't resolve the issue, I would start looking for another teacher. It is possible there are good reasons for her failure to respond (though not likely; the spam filter is a feasible explanation for not replying to the email, but you say that you have also left voice mails that have been ignored). Here's my advice: I would urge you strongly to start your lesson by saying something like "I'd like to start by asking about something that's bothering me. I've sent you several emails and left voice mails but haven't gotten a reply. I guess I thought it was okay to contact you that way, but if it isn't, I'd like to know." At that point, you can decide whether she's a good enough teacher during the time you are face to face with her to put up with her off-hours behavior toward you.

Without the face to face talk about the issue, though, much of the reactions given here (including mine) are speculative.

I have to laugh at Betty Patnude's presumptions. Obviously something in my original thread must have rung true with her....hey is that you Mrs. Mackey???!!! why haven't you responded to my emails?

If asking questions outside of lesson time is demanding, then OK I'm demanding. If asking by email for scheduling arrangments is demanding, then OK I'm demanding. But as I said, I like my teacher....so deosn't that mean that we get along otherwise? The fact that I haven't said anything for 2 months about this behavior, doesn't that say something about my patience? guess not (in Betty's world). My teacher has 4 students currently, I'm the only adult -- I will not divulge more details than this.

Teachers here can complain about students and no one ever defends the student (hardly), but anytime someone criticizes a teacher's behavior, all heck breaks loose. I have been as truthful as possible, and yes my email was quite polite -- why wouldn't it be?? I have no reason to expect an answer if my emails are rude, nasty and demanding. I think this forum is very one sided and I believe I will not post here again.

I don't think you can make such blanket statements. Now, I don't think anyone shoudl have gotten angry with you or blamed you for the teacher's behavior (the only thing was the title of this thread which you changed, thank you).

Many here have agreed that you were polite and many teachers here also do answer emails and phone calls and have no problem in doing so.

Many times teachers come here - myself included- to find out the best way to deal with a situation. Sometimes the other posters take sides, but it's not about sides when you're looking for a solution. It's about finding a solution where all sides win.

You've gotten some good sound advice on this thread, and I hope that you can sift through the stuff that doesn't help you. Like any forum, advice given freely is often worth what you pay for it .

I think that's an excellent post, Morodiene.

Cathy

Laughter is a healthier response than getting one's dander up. I should try it myself more often.

Mary, a couple of the posts on this thread do indeed stand out as being quite presumptuous and off-putting, but I think if you go back and look the entire thread over, there's actually a balance of views here and, as Morodiene said, a lot of helpful advice hidden among the chaff.

In any event, please don't let an unpleasant experience in this thread turn you off the teachers forum entirely or PW in general. I would like to encourage you to come over and hang out in the Adult Beginners' Forum. We have a lot of fun there and you can find lots of support.

If you do talk with your teacher about this issue, many of us here would love to hear how the conversation went.

omg

I will hypothesize that your teacher is relatively inexperienced and probably young, and may not yet have a good way of handling things such as e-mails. Music teachers often do not get training so learning how to handle the business end or plan out such things as between-lesson communications may not be thought out. You need to communicate. Get your emotions out of the way first. There is no reason to allow frustration and anger build up, because you do not yet know what is going on. For heaven's sake, talk to your teacher, ask about this. Also ask what she finds acceptable and not acceptable, whether she welcomes you to ask questions about your assignments, what kinds of questions and so on.

To David A about what one might expect from a teacher - yes, of course. But the fact is that we students deal with what is actually there, not what ought to be there, and that's our starting point. If a teacher is doing a good job teaching in the studio, but something isn't working in between, do you throw it all out for that reason? How do you solve a problem?

I'm an adult student and was parent of someone taking lessons who is now an adult. The biggest mistakes I made were in the realm of communication, and assuming things.

I have found that some teachers are simply more organized than others. I don't take it personally when I don't get a prompt email response. I just learn that certain teachers are hard to get in touch with outside of lessons. And in that case, the first thing I do at each lesson is confirm when our next lesson will be.

It would be nice to know in advance a holiday schedule. But I've found that some teachers just aren't ready to commit in advance. They are perhaps dealing with kids in diapers and are somewhat overwhelmed.

Also over the years I've found that some musicians/teachers are a bit scattered. Getting upset over it won't change anything. It goes with the territory I suppose. But as a teacher I respond to communication promptly. And if I'd rather wait until a lesson to discuss a question, I would say so.

FWIW, I'd expect a teacher to respond promptly to matters of administration -- lesson times, payments, etc., but I don't think I'd criticise a teacher for not responding to communications about anything else. I suspect part of the problem is that students and teachers perhaps don't discuss this issue much (if at all) before making a commitment, and so don't know what is reasonable and what isn't.

Hopefully Mary will have an update for us soon. I'm late to the party, but I did wonder if all technically savvy whippersnappers (to quote previous posts) have remembered to check their spam filters????

I actually prefer email contact -- I hate the telephone, and often don't answer. And am very bad about returning calls. I have emails for all my students except the Hispanic one (they don't have email.) I am much more likely to shoot off a quick email in answer to a voice message.

I teach piano. I don't have a "real job." I have spent hours in music stores, trying to find the perfect piece for a student. I have also spent hours on the phone with non-musical mothers who are trying to help their child get un-stuck. And I have even spent plenty of time with my Hispanic student on the phone helping her with homework unrelated to music, because no one in the family spoke English well enough to help her with her math homework or vocabulary definitions.

The thing is, this is my choice. For every 30 minute lesson, I am prepared to spend an additional 30 minutes per week (on average) preparing for the lesson, handling billing or scheduling issues, choosing music, lesson-overrun times, parent queries, etc. But I have time to do this. There are some teachers who feel that 30 minutes per week is what you are paying for, and issues can be discussed then. That is fair, too. My kids have had teachers on both sides. The important thing is to find out which way your teacher is inclined, and then decide if that is what you can live with.

I'm guessing that your teacher wants to be contacted when you are sick or cancelling for some reason, and that is why she gave you the contact info. I hope you've had a chance to discuss the issue with her, and find out if she really intended for it to be an off-of-schedule lesson continuation.

On the teachers' forum, it stands to reason that it is the teacher mentality we are best prepared to defend. But student questions like yours help us to see more sides.

When I have a question between lessons I usually post it here on piano world. You people always have answer for me. Sometimes I get a variety of answers from different view points. That is always interesting and gives me something to think about.

MrHazelton - Quote:"When I have a question between lessons I usually post it here on piano world. You people always have answer for me. Sometimes I get a variety of answers from different view points. That is always interesting and gives me something to think about."

That is a nice comment to hear about Piano Teacher's Forum!

Diverse opinions are helpful in that we can think through where we stand on the item under discussion. When we hear/read something that fits with your thinking, or when it completely disagrees, or there is something new we had not thought about before, it is going to be informational and helpful.

Maybe not today, but in the long run, we will have opportunity to use an idea first heard/read in the forum. I have a large collection of many good ideas that I've tested and decided to use from here and I try to let the teacher I gained something from known that their posting was valuable to me.

I think teachers pride themselves on continuing education and opportunities to grow in their knowledge base of teaching and communicating.

This topic is an example of the difference in teachers philosophies, experiences, communication styles, tolerances and business practices. This topic has accumulated much attention with viewing and posting.

I can hear your appreciation in the way you voiced your post. I'm sure we are all grateful for your message.

Betty Patnude

It is indeed, though I think MrHazelton is not just referring to the Teachers' Forum (where some teachers have actually expressed slight annoyance at "having to" answer questions - not that anyone "has to"). But there are plenty who don't mind answering, so it's all good.

Mary, How did the lesson go today and what did your teacher say about continued communication?

i can understand that a teacher is paid for a certain amount of time and a student hopefully should learn within that parameter.

that said, i encourage my students to call or email.. they never do.