Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Piano Teachers Forum Smiles, frowns, neutral faces during lessons?

That relates to my experience as well. With kids I am naturally playful, animated, humourous and love getting down to their level. I mean I do this at parties too I'm a bit of a big kid. But through teaching children I've discovered that my very quiet and calm side is the most powerful. For a child; to spend half an hour as the undisputed focus of interest, with an adult listening to their every sound is rare and exciting for them. I have a hunch that they become more confidently themselves and reveal more, than if I am fun-animated me for most of the lesson.

But I still have a couple of moments of silliness e.g. I like to "fall over" completely flat on the couch when they amaze me with what they achieved in practice, "That was so good I fainted!" I say. But yea I wouldn't do this if it's not your style or clothing doesn't allow.

The extension of this quiet calm is that from about 8 years old I talk to kids as if they are adults and colleagues; I don't hold back on discussing music, composition, technique and practice techniques at as high a level as they find interesting, even if not understanding all of it. And I get a real kick out of them treating me as a colleague, e.g. bringing me a useful resource or recommending a piece of music. I love this

I watered my garden in middle of my post, and the discussion continued...

I think I do consciously begin each next lesson warmly with a smile and very deliberately looking at the child, and asking some how was your day questions. It's a contrived moment of ceasing to think about the last student and fully focusing on this one. It is contrived, but feels natural once I begin smiling, and has become mostly a habit. I think it's been useful for me, deliberately creating a mood then feeds on itself and I feel calm and open and enthusiastic. I think it's as beneficial to me as to the student.

But ultimately I think teachers just have to be themselves and that students respect and enjoy knowing the real person. Tweaking mood or expression is ok. Re public figures and communication coaching LOL and cringe don't think we should go to those lengths. Imagine walking up and down your studio with hands neatly clasped in front of you and a "serious and interested" tv face on... oh and a power suit of the right shade.

If it got distorted, it's because the words "act," "dramatize," and "exaggerate" do in fact imply "artificial," "contrived," and "not natural." Acting, dramatizing, and exaggerating are ways of putting on different nonverbal expressions than you would naturally in that situation. Or, to put it another way, if your nonverbal expressions in that context without conscious deliberation would in fact be the excited, arms waving in the air, big smile displays you described earlier in the thread, you're not acting; you're being.

Will the camera catch the look in your eye? In fact, will it catch the look in your student's eye? Does the camera have feelers out for the atmosphere of the moment?

Make that two votes. Are you sure you need that camera?

I'm not sure I'm in the same discussion. We have several tangents going.

I agree with genuine and sincere. Natural, I'm not so sure of.

Genuine and sincere, of course, you're in a relationship. It doesn't have to be profound and deep to be honest.

But natural sort of implies not learned, or maybe not learnable, and I think neither is true.

Just as we can learn not to use the negative verbal behaviors without being false or contrived, I suggest we can learn to improve our nonverbals.

I recall (and I wish I could find the reference) an example from my graduate school (Clinical Psychology) days. Perhaps it will jog someone's memory.

There was a woman who was particularly good at dealing with acting-out disabled children. Somehow she got them to behave when nobody else could. She didn't know how she did it, so she couldn't teach it, it was totally unconscious. By videotaping her sessions, a team of psychologists analyzed exactly how she was intervening, what reinforcements she was using, how she was doing it.

They were able to use this to train other staff in the skills. I'm using the word skill deliberately - these can be learned without becoming contrived or unnatural, just as we learn not to mumble while speaking, etc.

But they also showed their results to the original woman. When she was conscious of why she was successful, she felt even more confident. She was following simple rules of behavioral reinforcement just like in the textbooks, but she'd picked it up on her own without understanding the science.

Now, to use the technical term, what I'm suggesting is that master teachers make maximum use of nonverbal reinforcements for something called the Fractional Anticipatory Goal Response.

I believe they develop these skills accidentaly, but they are available to all of us with some effort.

Tim said: "But they also showed their results to the original woman. When she was conscious of why she was successful, she felt even more confident. She was following simple rules of behavioral reinforcement just like in the textbooks, but she'd picked it up on her own without understanding the science."

Tim, this is all very interesting. I'd like for you to spend another 10 minutes looking for the referance about non verbals. I sense this discussion could go on for pages. I am really interested in nonverbal communication, as much as I'm interest in several other topics in the moment. I think you can link us all up with some scientific information that will be helpful to us.

Maybe some suggested reading? Or a workshop on video?

I quoted above because it is phenomenal that this woman could find the way to do what she did so well on her own without knowing the scientific principles - she was going on her observation powers, being inspired by her "work" and her "finding" and the "progress" being made. She was behaving "naturally" from her core. She was in "flow". This is how I interpret your story of her.

So give us some more things to think about, please.

Betty Patnude