Originally Posted By: Elissa Milne
Students who come to lessons with me and tell me how to run the lessons get fairly short shrift…

I don't give any less good service that usual, but I must say I always feel disappointed that there are going to be some limitations placed on me by the adult student in me having the freedom I want and need to be the most effective teacher I know how to be for this student. I can get them to full independent musicianship by evaluating and planning what is needed for a path toward improving their weaknesses, playing to their strengths, and making progress at every lesson.

Having limitations voiced as to what the music selections are to be by the beginning adult student tells me that I have an even bigger job to do in expanding their horizons musically and that it may not be possible to do that if they are resistant to my suggestions. It tells me, too, that this may be a very short relationship and termination will probably be abrupt and over an "issue".

The student who says, "I'm here to learn", or "Let's talk about my goals," is so much easier to work with. What she/he has said opening the door is that there is respect and trust for the teacher and she/he is here to learn and be productive. The cooperative students are easy to reach and teach, the resistant one's see teachers more like employees to meet their needs.

We work with people's brains and that requires that they be in their brains working with us toward a mutually satisfying ending. Two heads with positive vibes are synergistic . That is really what we look for in a piano teacher/student relationship.

As you can see Teodor went from undermining himself with his teacher, debated whether or not she was really a teacher, checked around finally about her reputation, gave her another chance once he decided she was ok afterall. All that posting because of his fears when he could have simply addressed the issue with her when he was in her presence.

If I detected the depth at which Teodor went off the deep end in his complaints, and it were I he was talking about, he would have to show me that he can follow instruction and give us time to learn to be compatabile and productive. It would be, to me, only his attitude getting in the way of a successful outcome.

Teodor may need to make further adjustment's and I don't think the story is over yet. He has a volatile imagination and the fire has not been put out just because he is suddenly happy again.


Betty Patnude
I wish he and his teacher well.

Nota: this is not "re:" anyone. Stupid system!

For the sake of fairness, here is the advice Teodor was given in regards to making certain that his teacher had proper background.

Well I've been away from this thread for a while. Now I see that Teodor has taken the advice given earlier in the thread to check the teacher's credentials. And he is reassured by what he discovers, and things are going well because it seems there is now good communication. So why does it appear that he is being criticised for this?

Keystring, the only reason the pianism of the teacher became an issue was because Teodor started out by saying he thought she wasn't good enough....

Currawong, how funny and true. Any sense that Teodor is being criticised comes from the experience of teachers having had many a beginner student come along and tell the teacher what they ought to be doing. Hahaha!!!! And I didn't mean to criticise Teodor for discovering his teacher was competent - I "smiled wryly". Not the same thing at all. I smiled wryly because many a student thinks their teacher is an imbecile at some point in the relationship. And then they realise the teacher actually does know something after all, and learning prospers.

It is probably valuable to become aware of these various experiences. If I know, for example, that teachers are commonly criticized then I would be extra careful with my words in order to not give the wrong message.

What I saw in Teodor's first post was the worry that he would not be taken seriously because as an adult student not much would be expected of him. This kind of insecurity is actually common to many of us, along with almost a feeling that one doesn't have a right to be doing this. I can remember this myself some years ago.

There was an unfortunate line that I had to read several times before catching the real sense of it. I've highlighted some key words.

The actual sense is that since she is only a few years ahead of him, and she is concentrating on accordion, then if he puts all his effort into piano while she doesn't, then over time (years) he would be ahead of her and no longer able to learn from her. The way it comes across, however, is that he is saying he is better than her.

A couple of last thoughts. 1. We cannot fully appreciate what someone knows or can do until we have learned something about it ourselves. An expert will make it seem easy, or that they are doing very little which compounds the problem. 2. As I understand it, teaching a beginner is challenging since the foundations are being lain down.