How do I gently tell a student and her mom that she needs to practice? There are 2 problems: she is involved in too many activities and I don't think she likes learning. She likes to play the piano, but only songs she knows and only easy ones. The mom doesn't seem to notice either; she is always praising her daughter for her achievements. E.g. she'll even praise her piano playing even though there has been no improvement due to no practice.

How does one gently explain these problems to the mother? Or is "gently" out of the question?

Thanks.....
Gisele

Gisele, telling people what to do generally yields poor to non-existent results. People become transformational when they discover something on their own and the results reinforce their desires and they connect it with their previous actions.

The reason we learn this in pedagogy class is because it's true. The problem is leading students and parents to the point of self-discovery.

When you can do this consistently, you join the ranks of the most successful teachers.

Since we really don't know enough details, some general guidance for you to consider.

You might tell mom that daughter seems very bright and talented, but her lack of daily practice is slowing her potential progress. Suggest sitting down with daughter for 10 min a day just to play through her lesson. In a month or six weeks, the progress will be dramatic. You and I know it will be, so this is a sure bet. At that point, you might suggest stretching it to 20 min a day. But the key is that mom (or dad) needs to sit with daughter, otherwise, it won't happen.

Parents have a difficult time seeing progress or lack there of, because they don't have the training and measuring sticks we have. I have an advantage with parents, because I record lessons to DVD for the students and I keep the last lesson of the year as a record of achievement. But you could record a lesson and a month later, record another lesson, and give them to mom to compare.

Anyway, I'm sure you're going to receive some excellent suggestions here . . . . get ready!

Maybe, Giselle, you could start by saying what piano lessons require from students (in general)in order to make progress musically. Maybe having a page of "pointers" about what you expect in "practicing" (dreaded word) from your students at the level she is at would help "inform" them of your expectations that she be doing. Then it is not her problem, nor her failure that you are talking about, it is the expectation you have for all students at this level and you going to be working with (this girl and) all music students to meet these important goals of gaining practice skills to grow and learn musically. This could be a statement about practicing on your website if you have one.

I don't think it can be a gentle statement sometimes it's a "practice or else" statement for some teachers to issues. Prodding and pleading doesn't work too well, but leadership and energy and enthusiasm from the teacher to put practice steps into the lesson where at least she would be receiving the practice instructions if not making progress in reading music or having a bigger repertoire.

Sounds like she is too comfortable in the status quo and that Mom praises her for every breath she takes. I can almost see a mother like this who says, "Let me take a picture of your breathing, honey! Good job!"

One thing you might sneak in is to ask her about what do you do during the week: Monday, Tuesday, etc? And she'll proudly go on listing all the activities she does. Your opportunity to say:"Oh my goodness, you are so busy with all these things! When do you find time to practice piano?" And, you could at your discretion say "That's explains everything!" That drops the ball.

Then you look at this schedule and find pockets of time when she must practice as it's the time she has available to do it in. Rather enforcing the idea that she hasn't practiced enough to prepare lessons for you and that she has to find practice time and use it. A follow up sentence might be "You are going to be so surprised at what good practice habits at home is going to do for you!" If Mom still balks, tell her that "Music requires pathways to be established in the brain and that his happens when the students put time and effort into their practice at home." (At that point, the next thing giving practice about 30 days to have happened, it would be the "tough" approach.)

So awareness of the problem (Mom and student) comes first, and then, if they see the light, they may together electively actually practice to your specifications.

How good are you at acting and scenarios? The creative approach is sometimes fun to implement and where it goes is basically in the minds of the receiver of this information. It happens without telling them your expected outcome in a "lecture" sort of way. There is a lot of resistance to that in any age group.

Make them think it was their own idea and see what they can do with their new awareness.

If you lead, people will follow. Put it on paper or on the website and it will be written and read and more likely to be complied to, I think.

Betty