Hi everyone, in scanning my other thread, I noticed there're a few moms and dads around here too.

I'm glad to meet you! My kids are part of the reason I took up piano again after a 27-year hiatus.

IMO, our kids are at a definite advantage having us play the piano in front of them all the time - and..it helps that we can "guide" them in their studies. (I won't say "teach" because I'm not qualified to teach).

Well, now I'm a grandparent player and when visiting my daughter and her brood, they get to hear 2 - 3 hours of daily practice. One was so inspired, she took up the 'cello; another has no interest, but the third, what a smart, intelligent lad he is. He takes lessons and is making good progress.

John v.d. Brook, excellent, I forgot to include grandparents too.

Congratulations on your musician grandchildren. You must be beaming with pride.

I second the motion!

Count me in as parent-player, more parent than player but what the heck. Definitely not a teacher, but definitely a pain in the neck to a number of them.

I'm a parent. I'm a player. I'm in search of a piano teacher for my beginner children. (I'm picky.)

I do wish there was a parent forum here. It would be nice to get advice from fellow parents. Except in my case, I would be hoping for participation parents of non-prodigy non-advanced students (in addition to the variety of parents out there).

When my daughter (6 1/2) starts a new piece of music, I often have her repeat a one or two-bar passage several times. Sometimes it takes her several times and she still doesn't get it. Occasionally, she breaks down, cries, and says "I can't do this. I'm not good!" After cooling down and trying several times, she often gets it and then is really proud of herself afterwards.

The other day, I was working on a piece myself with some parallel thirds. I kept tripping over it. I gave a small grunt.

My daughter walks up to me. "Mommy. Where are you having your problems?" I point. "Mommy, play that over 3 times." I play. Trip. "Again." I play. Trip. "Again." I play. Trip. I imitate her, tears (almost) and everything. "I can't do this! I'm not good!"

I heard my voice come out of her. "Mommy. Calm down. This is a new piece for you. Let's go sit on the sofa and when you're ready, we'll try again."

She hasn't complained about repeating two bar sections over and over again ever since.

Huh? Are you sure that you are on the right website?

(No no, just kidding Mom!)

Oh, and sweet story. Sounds like she has a great future ... as a shrink!

+1 here.

I find that my son can be better at playing certain things and memorizing music but I'm better at theory. I work with him everyday and then I practice my pieces. Our lesson are back to back as well .No matter how poorly I play for our teacher my son will pipe up and say , "She did practice that!!"

By the way, Kid, great idea for a thread!

Nice story MomOfBeginners.

Embarrassingly, I sometimes trip over my daughter's Alfred book when I'm "guiding her"...lol. But it goes back to myself being a poor sight-reader too.

I agree on the parents forum. I just kind of stumbled across that idea because I noticed there were a few parents from the other thread that I created in this group. I'm glad that "I am not alone."

Parents and grandparents have been super participants in my piano studio.

They often contribute to the tuition payements for their grandchidren,

They sometimes provide transportation,

They come to recitals and applaud for all students not just their own, and get their pictures taken with their grandkids for their scrapbooks that show they were present and cheering the grandkids on,

The grandparent who play piano are willing to play duets in recitals with their grandchildren, and they ask their grandkids to play for them when visiting at their homes. Some always include music time when their family is visiting.

Grandparents recently invited us to have our Christmas Piano Party at their house with their lovely grand piano. Parents of another student had done the same thing they year before.

The parents who have been here for a few years always seem to approach the new students and their kids and start conversations making others feel welcome at any event.

My students, their parents and grandparents and I, together constitute a musical family. I'm really grateful for their interest and support and I think it makes everything go better for all of us.

Parents and grandparents are vital to the mix!

Betty Patnude

Yeah, I play. But I sure as heck didn't go anywhere near that other thread!

So is the question about how many teachers are parent-players, or anyone?

I have little kids too. It's a real challenge finding time to practice without distractions - I'm sure you all can relate to that. :P My 2YO went through a phase where she would pull my hands off the keys if I played anything other than Elmo or the Wiggles. She's getting better about allowing me practice in 5 or 10 minute incriments without interruption...

My 6YO is getting pretty good at picking melodies out on the piano. I am still debating whether to start lessons for her now or wait till the 3rd grade, like I hear from so many teachers.

Nice to meet you all. MomOfBeginners, I like your story!



Elaine

Count me in!
I've posted some details before (under my previous screen name, had to change it to stay anonymous).
I played for maybe 6-7 years as a child/teen. Then didn't touch a piano again until last year.

My 8 yr old son has some natural ability but had a negative experience with a teacher. I am teaching him myself at the moment while I carefully look for a new teacher. So I've started lessons myself (I liked the teacher a lot even though my son didn't)in order to stay far enough ahead of him. Some of my own lesson is spent discussing my son's progress. My teacher is very encouraging about this!

Unfortunately my son is not at all enthusiastic about the idea of another teacher and I'm having trouble finding the right person with the right availability. Even though it's unpopular on this forum, and not my first choice, I'm thinking of finding a teacher to come to our house initially. Another subject, though...

It's very helpful reading about other parents here! As Mom of Beginners says, I have non-prodigy children, just children who like music.

Oh, I thought it was how many were parents of children learning piano?

I am a parent but not a player. Do you guys sit in the lessons? If you have questions, do you ask it during the lesson or call/email the teacher? Do you practice with your child? Do you feel your lifestyle being changed after your child starts the lesson?

I feel we should have a parents support group.

Betty, I love your post. Grand parents pay for many of my students lessons, too. And they are always the most enthusiastic of audience members. Several of mine are actually piano teachers/former teachers, so you know the pressure is on!

I have always sat in on my daughter's lessons, always asked questions ... until this year. This year my little girl is in the municipal music school and they won't let me sit in. The director of the school says that it is counterproductive. I think that he's full of it, but it isn't my telling him so that is going to change his mind.

I have never e-mailed or telephoned with questions, and I never would. If there is something that I really need to discuss I call to fix a meeting with the teacher; anything else can wait.

We had a teacher who often came over for lunch, when my daughter is at school, and we discussed a great deal of things there.

He dumped us, however, the dirty dog; left town ... to pursue his career, of all things. Can you believe that? What is this world coming to?

In your case, C.Y., I would recommend sitting in and learning, along with your daughter. When she goes to bed, or if you can when she's at school, go over her lessons yourself, do all of her assignements. Learn to read music as she does. Sit beside her when she practises. You can play with her, a little higher up the keyboard. You can play left hand while she plays right, and vice-versa. And you can play pieces for four hands.

I know that I have read your posts before, but I don't remember your daughter's level. I'd have a zillion things that you can do, depending on her level. But once you jump into the bath you'll find plenty of ideas yourself.

(Edit: just realized that you didn't say that your child is a girl. Sorry if he's a boy.)

T'sMom, thanks for sharing. You and I have similar backgrounds as well, since I, too, took piano up again so I could play piano with my kids. However, I became very obsessed with it too (for those who've read my posts on the ABF).

I don't consider my daughter a prodigy by any means - there's lots of prodigies on YouTube and they put most adult players to shame!

However, my daughter's got talent, ability, and a great ear. If she plays Chopin, Beethoven, DuBussey and Joplin successfully in the future, and reaps the benefits of musical education, then I will have done my job.

Anyway, thanks fellow parents-grandparents-players. I enjoy reading about your experiences.

C.Y. I try not to sit in on my daughters' lessons because I don't want to "interfere." I wait unitl the end, and then the teacher does give me a recap of the lesson. (she comes to our house to teach).

As I mentioned, my daughter's teacher herself is a high-school competition pianist, so sometimes, the last 10 min. I try to get her to play something, because boy, she sure makes a different sound than I do on my piano..and it's a much nicer sound...hahaha.

Anyway, I agree about the "Parent Group". It'd be nice to have one here.

I agree with this approach. While I would be leery of a teacher who _never_ lets parents sit in, I think that doing it all the time isn't necessarily a good idea. Just my humble opinion of course

I teach voice lessons, and I love when parents want to sit in once in awhile because then they get to see what goes on during the lessons and hear what I can get out of their kids. But at the same time, students are generally more self-conscious when a parent is present. I should qualify that by saying that I work with mostly middle schoolers, and self-consciousness comes easy with that set

Elaine

My son is taking the lesson and he is about early-intermediate level. I tried to play with him when he first started but only last a couple of months because I couldn't keep it up with him anymore.

If you don't sit in on the lessons, how do you guide your young child during practice? Especially you guys are players too, could it be possible that what you are guiding is different than what teacher is teaching?

For me, the teacher asked me to sit in on the first lesson and usually I just open my ears listen and memorize what teacher says just in case my son forgets about it at home. I don't talk unless teacher wants to talk to me.

My son started at 6 1/2 and I think at that age kids can definitely have lessons. Especially girls are much maturer than boys.

Thanks, that is encouraging. How old is he now? I have had a few teachers tell me that 3rd grade is about the right time to start, and that the kid who started early and the kid who started in 3rd will be at the same level when they're in 5th grade. Sounds like BS to me but I'm not a piano teacher.

Betty and John, what age do you recommend starting? (this has probably been addressed in 1,000,000 previous threads, please don't flame me, it's just easier to ask for a quick answer here )

As far as how to guide them when they practice, my question is, how much do you really guide them at home anyway? Beyond getting them to put in enough practice time, and helping them when they get stuck, what else do you do? I do plan on asking the teacher lots of questions about how I can help, what not to do, etc.; I think I can get enough info that way.

Anyway, my kids are younger, so I may change my tune in a few years. Sounds like sitting in really worked well for you, your son and the teacher, and that's great. I just picture it differently for us.

Elaine

Elaine, I can deal with parents present or absent from lessons. It helps me if the parent has a sincere interest in their student's progress, and is paying attention to what needs to be worked on, and then at home, encourages their student to work on what we've covered. Not all parents are comfortable with this role and responsibility. Not all students are receptive to this and it's partly because we farm them out to public schools from Kindergarten on, so they get used to having alternate authority figures, rather than cooperative teaching situations.

As for the starting age, there is simply no hard and fast rule. A 5 year old who is mentally ready, and who practices, with parent guidance for five years, is going to be light years ahead of an 8 year old starter when they both reach 5th grade. Alternatively, a student who is not ready, or whose parent doesn't have the time to sit during practice sessions, is not going to be significantly further advanced by 5th grade.

Generally, I will accept girls in the 1st grade and boys in the 2nd grade, but there are always exceptions. Many exceptions. This is not a hard and fast rule by any means.

John

That's a pity, C.Y. Don't be fooled by the fact that your boy is, apparently, very talented and can advance very quickly, more quickly than you. He needs you. Music is communication, it is a relationship between human beings.

Thanks for your comments, John. Very helpful as always. I see what you're saying about parents being involved. But I believe you can be a "sincerely interested" parent without shadowing your child everywhere. I know for a fact my daughter is sometimes at her most creative when she thinks I'm not listening, and this trait was well in place before I farmed her out to public school.

Elaine

Strange idea, "shadowing" your child.