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Because the topic is: When a parent requests an interview?

I do interview a lot like Lollipop does!

The teacher needs to have a comfort level that reflects the way she behaves during lessons and whenever in the company of her students. It's almost like the "piano teacher persona". This helps you be consistent in appearance each time the student and family see you in the future.

You have to have a purpose of your own with which to conduct (you are in charge) the interview. What do you want to know about the student and his family before accepting him.

What do you want them to know about you?

Talk purposely. Socialize only enough to be welcoming. The inquiry-interview is a business procedure actually, not a social event. You can enjoy this event, but it does/can have a purpose other than seeing each others faces and shaking hands. Having each of you make the decision to work together is a good start in a relationship - you each agree to be there - and working together on a project toward musicianship. You set up the agreement and announce the partnership and the players so to speak. Sounds like business to me.

Good luck in getting comfortable with this process however you choose to do it.

Betty

John, I've been thinking about what you wrote. It sounds as if you are proposing a counter-move in those cases where parents are doing a power play, where they try to deliberately intimidate and control the teacher.

Had a parent who wanted telephone numbers of parents who's children I was already teaching!!!

After interviewing the parents, he did hire me to teach his three girls!

Guesss I passed the test!

Yes I realize that That's why I specifically said "topic" not "thread" since Ed's reply implied that the general topic (customer interviews) was not relevant to those not teaching kids.

Diane - Did you get permission from the parents to hand out their numbers? Just wondering, as it's never happened to me. Maybe it would be a good idea to ask a couple parents in advance if it would be okay to use them for references, just in case it ever comes up. Another way to handle that would be to take the prospective student's number, and and ask a few of your other parents if they would be willing to call on your behalf.

Well, I gave the parent's business numbers! And not their home telephone numbers.

And you make good points! Need to be careful I'd think!

I don't think it's deliberate so much as human nature. As Betty reminds us, we're in a business, and we cannot remain afloat if we give the customer what they truly want: unlimited lessons for free. It's a transaction and we need to remain mindful of that. The teacher needs to remember that they are offering a valuable service, deserve appropriate remuneration, and if they wish to build a good long-term reputation, must offer both an excellent product and be careful about who they sell it to.

There are two points of view that need to be addressed in an interview:

1) The Parents need to be comfortable with letting their child spend 45 minutes in a room alone with another adult they do not know, or they need to know that it's acceptable for them to sit in and observe lessons, either to ensure the child's safety or to be an active part in their child's musical education.

2) The Teacher is being asked to teach someone to play the piano. However, the teacher alone cannot bear this responsibility, the student/parent must be willing and able to do their share. (Otherwise it's just really expensive babysitting that could potentially damage the teacher's reputation.)

I'm a little sensitive to the first because my mother supervised a child abuse/neglect unit for many years before she retired. I also have a friend who was the victim of abuse as a child. Most cases of sexual abuse arise from situations where the child is alone with an adult, usually someone they know. My mother saw cases involving relatives, coaches, teachers (including music teachers) and even youth ministers. This is why the door to my house and the windows in my studio stay open during lessons. I tell parents they are welcome to walk in unannounced at any time.

Sorry for the off-topic here, but Kreisler's comment made me think of this:

I'm curious if any female piano teachers have any feelings concerning teaching adult males? I have taught a father/daughter duo without any problems. But I was recently contacted for lessons by another man (about my age), and wasn't comfortable with the idea. As it turned out, he was looking for irregular lessons, preferably on weekends, as he traveled a lot. I turned him down because I don't teach on weekends, but I was relieved to have a "good" reason. Is that silly? Prudent?

L, we have discussed this before, but many years ago, so this is probably a good time to resurrect the subject. In re Kreisler's comment: this is one very powerful reason for all teachers, not just males, to make a video record of each and every lesson.

If I didn't teach young to middle-aged men, I'd lose a third of my students! A couple of times it has crossed my mind that I am putting myself in a position of vulnerability, but I refuse to live my life fearing what might happen. As it is, all my students (including the 15 or so men I've worked with in the last few years) have been nothing but kind and respectful.

This is a very good idea, actually, but I wonder about the logistics of it. First is to get permission from the parents (or adult students) to record them. It must be uncomfortable to ask, and what if permission is not given? But I can see that if you make this part of your policy then it should be OK. The bigger concern is how long you keep these video tapes for? Surely you don't want to tape over an old lesson that was just last week. But if you keep them around long enough (which is a question in itself, how long is long enough?), you may end up with a lot of video tapes and the cost of too many tapes may be prohibitive.

Didn't Son of Sam play piano? (No, just kidding!)

I don't think you understand what I am trying to say. I am thinking that you are proposing this strategy in those cases where that kind of power play is going on for the purpose of countering this power play. I do not think that you would want to make a student feel inferior to you and worry about not being good enough for you as a relationship to be established between teacher and student. I would feel better if you confirmed this, because I suspect this is true.

When I wrote of a student asking "What do I need to do to reach this." then I am thinking that this is the attitude that you want to induce in the student and in the parent, rather than "Am I good enough?" By worrying about their abilities, and comparing themselves to others, people cripple themselves.

I cannot picture what that means (still) if you seriously propose this question to be more than a device to stop the parent from saying "You are not good enough for my child." It is an impossible question. If you are "not good enough" for something, that means you don't have the attributes needed to do it. So a 6 year old child who has never had lessons before, how on earth can he be "not good enough" for you to teach him? What would cause you to say "Sorry, I can't teach you because you are not good enough." That's where it leads, and it is absurd. You cannot be saying this. It would be "Sorry, I cannot teach you because you won't do the work."

It gets serious, however, if you are talking about an older student because of the fear of "not having enough talent" (not being good enough) and that as soon as the teacher discovers they "are not good enough" he will kick them out. That creates debilitating anxiety. In fact, in the ABF there is an eight year old who is afraid of meeting the new teacher because he is afraid he is not good enough. This only makes sense to me if you mean it as a counter to a parental attitude of "You are not good enough to teach me child."

Would you say that how the new people are approached also depends on the attitude they present?

I don't keep them at all. They are sent home with the student. Then they are erased at the next lesson and recorded over.

You're correct, I don't understand what you're trying to say. And I think that you're reading stuff into my posts that isn't implied by me. Perhaps my poor writing skills are to blame.

We're talking about dealing with parents "with attitude" here. The OP was feeling intimidated by some parents during the interview process. I was suggesting a strategy to work around this. Sort of like visualizing your audience naked so you don't have the stage jitters.

That's all; nothing more.

I realize you were looking for fellow-teacher support for an unnerving experience. I wanted to offer a parent's perspective.

I wish to give my child a music experience on a personal level, so the character of a music teacher plays an enormous role. I am trusting the music teacher to guide my child using his/her perspectives and values which do come out on regular one-on-one sessions. Before my child is old enough to solidify her opinions, every adult is "right" in their eyes.

Music qualifications, teaching qualifications, and teaching philosophies go without saying. By the time I get to the stage of wanting to talk to the teacher, I already know the qualifications. Education, experience, musicianship, recital opportunities, etc. I don't believe a teacher would lie about it or that I have to test the teacher for it.

In meeting the teacher, I am looking for other things: (Just to make the text less crowded, I'll call the teacher a 'he' and my child a 'she'.)

- Is the teacher interested in my child and me? Has he already formed an opinion about us based on little information? Or is the teacher interested in interacting with my child and myself to find out more about us? In other words, is the teacher a good listener and open?

- Does the teacher have the right balance of pushing and backing off? By "right", I really mean is it compatible with my view. Even if I didn't agree in the first place, I may still give it a few months and give the teacher the benefit of the doubt that he knows better.

- Does the teacher have the right balance of moving forward versus persistence of polishing a piece?

- Does the teacher have the right balance of drawing from experience to overcome problems versus discovering new ways of teaching? I value both.

- Does the teacher have a passion for improvisation and analysis that can spill over to my child, or are those abilities merely an item on a checklist to achieve teaching qualifications?

- Does the teacher have a passion for understanding the composer, and can express to my child that every piece has a composer's character and a performer's character?

I hope this makes you feel at ease that meeting a teacher is not about checking if your certificate on your wall is legitimate. It's really checking to see if the compatibility factor is there.

Might I ask what your questions would be?

I got the impression the OP isn't intimidated by these parents (OP hasn't met them yet) but is intimidated by the idea of being interviewed and coming 'unglued' in such a situation. Taking control and being confident in your teaching skills would seem to be good advice, and hopefully the parents are the kind that care a lot about their child and his/her development and comfort.

Keystring, there are teachers who will conduct an interview-test of the potential student and reject some on the basis of e.g. natural aural ability (beginners), or lack of reading (in non-beginners). I mentioned once before of a teacher who took one sister but rejected the other on basis of poor reading. This teacher is the competition-winner type.

There are also plenty of teachers (like me) who will accept a student based on my ability to make a big difference in their life through music. So that means I take everyone who wants to learn piano . I probably shouldn't take those where the parent is really keen but the child has no interest, but I have taken a few of these too. Often they stop lessons by the end of about 8 weeks.