I just had a parent request to change lesson time, and it's working out. But their e-mail explained why they need a new time. They gave her schedule: t-ball practice twice a week, 3 hours of Chinese class on Sunday (she's not Chinese), and 2 hours of dance class on Thursdays (plus weekly piano lesson).

This is a kindergartener. Parents are obviously devoted to their darling child. But this seems way over the top to me. I think it's reasonable to have one or two extracurricular activities. Anyway, at least piano has not yet been dropped. She's at the primer level...time will tell how it all plays out.

I've made no comment to parents about overscheduling, since they did not ask my opinion. And people have different values. I suppose other teachers have seen this same scenario. This is the first time I've had a schedule of the child's other activities since I don't ask for that information.

Well... This is our daughter's schedule: Friday - Barlet: 1 hours; Saturday - Chinese (Yes, we are Chinese) school in the afternoon, 4 hours. Sunday - Piano lesson, 1 hour(hey, but she practices close to 2 hours everyday). She is a kindergartner too.

We have a friends whose daughter is taking everything: Drawing, figure skating, dance, soccer, swimming... you name it... :-)

I think your student is doing good though. I think she can handle it. Kids are strong.

When our kids were elementary age we allowed them to do one artistic endeavor and one athletic activity (dance, gymnastic, sports). If they didn't do an athletic activity, they did two artistic (piano and art class), but never more than two things per week. In the summer, we added a few more things like gymnastics or dance camps, but they were short in duration and we did not continue them during the school year.

Kids are way over-scheduled these days. It's a wonder they can even play imaginatively by themselves anymore.

Hi bhf,
Thanks for your response. Your child is getting in her practice and it shows the 3 activities she is in work well for her. Plus for the student I have, the t-ball is a seasonal activity...so I am now feeling hopeful that she will not neglect piano practice.

I can see a language, music and physical activity working out well. I think the t-ball (added to already taking dance) is taking on too much, but as you point out there are kids who handle it. Studying music takes practice outside of class, unlike other activities like dance and swimming classes. If kids can get in their piano practice, then I suppose it may not be too much for them.

I had seen the parent e-mail as a sign of the beginning of the end of piano playing for their child. But perhaps it will work out fine as it has for your daughter.

My four year old's weekly activities:
Montessori 5 afternoons per week
Gymnastics on Saturdays (1 hr)
Piano lessons (1 hour, group, MYC) Wednesdays
Swimming lessons (30 min) on Sundays
She wants to do it, we let her. She has also tried ballet and Tae Kwon Do, but didn't like them and dropped them. She says she wants to go back to Tae Kwon Do when she is 6.
I take my cue from her, she is happy and well adjusted.

I'm impressed that a kindergartner can practice 2 hours per day. My dtr does 20 min.

It's very difficult to keep these over-scheduled kids focused. They don't have time to practice on a regular basis, and their lessons often devolve into repetition of last week's lesson.

I'm more amazed at how the parents can fit in all the activities they take the kindergartner child to - hello, when do they get to cook meals and pay bills and do the laundry? (assuming the second parent is working part time....) I have found myself having conversations with parents of kids aged around 10/11 where I explain that I can't see how the child can be expected to practice based on their schedule, and the parent agrees and says 'but I don't see why that should mean they are not allowed to learn the piano'..... In which case the lesson becomes something much more akin to super expensive baby sitting, with a musical angle.

Which is not to say that young kids don't lap it up - some of them absolutely thrive in that environment. I get more concerned when the kids are getting to the end of primary school and making no progress.

Don't worry too much, my son didn't even start playing until he was eight.

We used that age as exploratory time. They did some gymnastics, some swimming, in-line hockey, and a bit of dance. Music started a little later, at age eight for both. They carried through with something athletic as well. It is a bit of an effort for working parents to get kids to multiple activities. It helps if you've got a college educated non-working member of the household (either that or Mary Poppins) to run interference and raise the child, but if both parents work you survive by planning the schedule well.

I've seen this with the scholastic chess group. There are a few kids ( definitely not representative of the whole)that have zero interest in chess but they're forced to come . Then the mom eats up 2 hours of unencumbered shopping time . Some parents feel a little less guilty dumping their kids because they're 'doing something good for them'.

I may be in the minority, but that doesn't seem over-scheduled to me as long as the child enjoys it. I only had dance & swim classes in kindergarten, but by first grade I had added competitive swim team (hour of practice daily in the summers), piano, and dance (two styles plus gymnastics). I later played softball, basketball, volleyball, continued competitive swimming, track, band, jazz band, choir, show choir, flag corp, church choir, church organist....well, you get the idea. My piano practice never suffered because I wanted to practice.

If I hadn't had all those activities, I would have been bored, so I guess the child's personality depends on whether it's too much. It sure beats sitting in front of a television or computer playing video games. I spent plenty of time in my childhood playing my Nintendo and playing with my friends, even with all those activities.

+1

Especially for a Kindergartener!! Children need time to just play, not work like adults do. Believe it or not, children actually learn a lot of things in play time.

I have even sometimes recommended that a student drop piano or voice lessons because they were too busy and they seemed too frazzled to really have any benefit from lessons.

For myself, if I hadn't had 'free time' I would not have been able to start composing so young - true creativity needs LOADS of time in which to make mistakes and experiment without needing to prove anything.... Having said that, I was very sad that I couldn't take tap or ballet classes and never learned to play tennis, but that was more to do with growing up in a farming area, and we only made one trip a week to town, so......

Ditto! It is rare that over-scheduled kids last over the long-haul. As a teacher it can be frustrating to feel like a hihg-priced-babysitter in these situations. While it's not your place to offer an opinion I would consider not getting involved in this endeavor.

I really think kids should be playing in the dirt, scraping their knees, catching frogs, and causing trouble.

And READING

AMEN!

No two children are alike. Some kids really don't like playing outside and would rather be in social activities. Some children in cities don't really get the chance to.

I wish I had been 'overscheduled' as a child, my parents subscribed to the school of thought of "I didn't get to do any of these activities when I was a kid and I turned out ok, so you don't need them either" (they grew up during the war) so for me it was either re-re-re-read the very few books I owned (books were considered another 'luxury' and in my home country you could join a library only at 14, and the library was not exactly next door anyways), play with my legos or go outside.

Interestingly enough only a few months ago I caught my mother (now approaching 70) talking to a friend of hers about her friends' daughter driving her daughter to piano/dance lessons a few times a week and my mother was brusquely telling her how this is all useless fluff and that they grew up just fine when she was young without all this and her daughter should shape up and stop 'spoiling' her kid.

Of course I now ended up finding myself (at nearly 40) as an adult piano beginner, because despite saying many times how I'd have loved to study the organ and/or piano all I got was my mother approaching once the Church's organist with this priceless line delivered in the tone of voice one might use to order a cup of coffee: "how about giving my son (I was 8-9 at the time) a few small organ lessons? would you be available?" gee, I wonder why the organist didn't jump at the opportunity with a parent so obviously engaged and willing to support their child...

You might feel (as a teacher) that the kid is being overscheduled, but on the other hand you should be grateful that the kid actually has these opportunities: they might not follow up and become the next piano prodigy, but at least they will be getting some musical education.

Hi all, I'm a tech and piano store owner, not a teacher but may I join in?

I'm sorry, I disagree with all these numerous activities for children.

In my opinion, a parent that takes their child to more than 2 activities a week is doing it for their own benefit, not the child. It is much easier to drive your child to an activity and chit-chat with other parents 3 or more times a week, then to remain at home, spending that time themself with their child.

Staying home with the child requires parenting effort from the adult. Shipping the child to every program that happens to fit in the weekly schedule is simply a cop out!
Other than swimming, the child cannot possibly benefit from more than 2 activities per week. They will never reach a 'graduation' level in anything if constantly taking multiple activities and this will create a pattern in their teens. They will jump from one fad to another, and come post-secondary education they will jump from one career path to another - simply because they never learned to fully complete something they began. They won't be content or have a sense of confidence (self esteem) in themself.
Down the road, it is far better for a young adult to be able to be quite good at say, a couple things, then to dabble a little in everything and be good at nothing!

Sorry to be so brash but this topic gets my goat.

Why do I find myself guessing that you are not the parent who was doing all that driving around?

I *do* agree with you about your basic point: overscheduling kids is not good. But I don't agree with you about the parent's alleged motivation. As a mom who finds it INFINITELY easier to stay at home (hey! I can play the piano while the kids entertain themselves!) than play chauffeur, I can assure you that I sign the kids up for activities only when I'm convinced that it is for their benefit.

The rule in my household is no more than two activities per kid: one musical instrument (flute and--shudder--violin) and one other extracurricular (academic team and YMCA sport [soccer or basketball, season depending]). And just trying to meet all the commitments involved with that light of a load is difficult enough.

However, the O.P. is talking about a kindergartener who (presumably) has either no or minimal homework. While the list of activities seems daunting, I'm guessing that the kid has fewer total demands on her time than the typical middle schooler or high schooler who may have a smaller number of activities.

Monica, I agree with you personally, but I have friends who do fit that description of enjoying being out of the house with their kids involved in formal activities more than enjoying being at home. To me it seems like FAR too much effort (my 3 year-old and I have a brilliant time at home!), but for others being at home makes them Ca-RA-zy..... (or so they tell me).

When I was a child I didn't participate in more than one activity for the simple reason that my parents couldn't afford it.

Do children even hear that phrase anymore?

Monica
You make a lot of good points.
I guess I just have a hard time following the progression of why a given parent would go overboard with child activities.

Don't get me wrong, I do love the evenings getting home and spending the time with my children (playing sports outdoors, games indoors, etc) but I also enjoy just as much being occupied at something myself and noticing my 5 year old son or 3.5 year old daughter on the carpet, hard at work with a puzzle, practicing the piano or simply playing around all by themself. A good dose of independent activity time (mixed with a couple of activities like have been discussed) right from the start can only further develop good character traits down the road.



careful, see I mentioned:



I'm suggesting that during those times of excessive chauffeuring around, that replaces the adult physically sitting and interacting with their child. You enjoying some time at the piano alone, me working alone on somethings I have to get done - that is our time as adults. When we are taking our kids all over town to 3, 4, 5 different activities, that is not our time anymore, that is our kids time with us and we are choosing to hand them over to someone else. That is what I am getting at more.

I think those folks who have their kids in soooooo many different things, part of it is because otherwise they would need to pour themselves into their kids, and it's not at all that they don't want to - they've just gotten so caught up in a whirlwind that they don't realize their kids would be just as happy playing snakes and ladders, colouring together with their parent or riding bikes.

For some reason we as parents have this incessant thought that we want our kids to have everything we didn't, but I know of myself looking back - i couldn't have cared less that I didn't take Karate, kite-making and skating lessons. I do remember the fact that my Dad at times was too preoccupied to shoot a puck outside with me on my driveway though.

All in all, I like to think I turned out at least 'ok' and I think the average kids who don't have quite the most of opportunities will too in the long run (assuming they at least learn to play the piano)

I would like to rebut that generalisation with a personal example.

As I child, I wasn't overscheduled - at least I didn't consider myself to be so - though by your standards I was. I did drama & theatre, multiple dance forms and studied multiple instruments and had long stints in team sports and a short stint in tennis as well. I enjoyed having my fingers in many pies and pursued all my activities with passion and vigour. I maintained the arts activities throughout highschool (dropping dance for senior but picking it up again the following year) and was in all five school ensembles plus the municipal youth orchestra. I achieved a high level in all my activities as well as being in the top 5% of the state with my school results. My self-esteem is fine, thank you and I am supremely self-confident and content with my life. And for the record, I have had less changes in employment than most people my age that I know.

Back to topic: As long this child has time and inclination to practise, then I don't see the problem.

Sorry, my understanding was that the discussion was regarding toddlers and Grade 1-2ers.
I don't think drama, theatre, studying multiple instruments and tennis would have started quite that early, and all simultaneously.
I'm not trying to be an antagonist. The interesting thing for you Amos is that most of what you enjoyed doing was at least in the same family - mostly music and arts.
My comments are for those who do a little in everything (music, sports, crafts, health(karate), cooking, daycare, early montessori and so on). When does the parent get to be a parent if there isn't quality time just spent at home?

I am sorry but I have to tell you all this big secret I have been carrying all my life...

There is not one good answer for this. It depends on the kid, the parents, the teachers, the friends, money, location, etc...

The only thing I am sure is that when I asked to do something, I am happy they said yes and I could do it.

And I am terribly sorry of the things we couldn't do because of location/money... (Sorry but not bitter, they did the best for me, always...)

OK, I'm neither a parent nor a teacher, so probably have no business posting here, but . . . .

I have been observing the increased scheduling of children's out-of-school time over the past two or three decades and it seems to me that to a certain extent, and particularly in urban environments, this is due to the real and/or perceived dangers that children would risk exposure to if they were simply let outside to play and explore their neighbourhoods on their own as I was able to do as a child. The world is not as safe as it once was: more traffic, more deviants on the streets.

There is also a lowered tolerance for the kinds of risks that were considered a normal part of growing up when I was a kid: I never broke an arm or a leg jumping off the roof of the neighbor's wood shed, but I had several friends who did -- and their parents just hauled them off to the emergency ward, chewed them out for being reckless, and never dreamed of suing the neighbor for having a shed that tempted kids to climb on and jump off.

So now, if people want their kids to engage socially with other kids in sports or other activities are likely to cram the kids' free time with as many adult-supervised activities in controlled environments as they can afford. It's more complicated than that, of course: wanting to give the kids an opportunity to experience a wide variety of sports and artistic activities is a big part of it, too. Whether this means that the kids never learn to focus on getting really good at one or two activities I really couldn't say. I think it depends a lot on the individual kid. At some point I think they settle down and focus on the activities that they enjoy the most, so, to get back on topic, they might only get really serious about piano when they're in their teens rather than when they're six, but the early exposure to the instrument can't have done them any harm.

*Post moderated*

Unnecessary ad hominem commentary removed.

Ken