I have a 4th grade girl who has me completely flummoxed. She started a year ago, and has been doing really well. We have been getting along quite well, until recently. She is a pretty emotional, 'out there' child, but has been loving piano playing, is very proud of her accomplishments, and reports were that she wouldn't stop playing the piano at home. I made a CD of her playing for her parents at Christmas -and she played really well at the January recital. I then gave her a new piece with the next recital in mind, which she loved. She worked really hard at it, for a while, but then about a month ago, started coming to lessons completely unprepared, and when I tried to get her to work hard on something, she would simply shut down, and get very quiet. She continued this pattern of not practicing, then obviously coming in the door stressed because she hadn't practiced. I had a few talks with her about the importance of practicing, but her mom (who is a friend of mine)just emailed me to say that the girl now says she hates piano and wants to quit. And she wants to quit now! Of course I feel terrible - that there was perhaps something I missed, or spoke to her the wrong way, or something......... But other theories are:
1)She heard another student of mine, a girl of the same age, much more advanced, play at the recital, and felt defeated by that. I think she may only want to something if she perceives herself as being quite good at it.
2)Though she loves the idea of playing more advanced music, when posed with a slightly challenging piece, can't really deal with the challenges of it.
3)Is just naturally hot and cold about things.

I have encouraged her parents to have her continue through the end of the year, and I will be in 'piano lesson rescue mode', finding only fun, slightly easier pieces. Unfortunately, they are completely fed up with her attitude during practice, which apparently is horrid. They've had enough, I'm afraid.

This experience of having a child completely turn off piano is a bit upsetting! Has anyone had this happen? Any ideas?

What a difficult situation. I think the longer I teach, the less inclined I am to give anything beyond a student's current level. In fact, I'm tending towards slightly below their level.

I would find little gems that illustrate interesting aspects of piano, without requiring much practice. For instance, I would take a few pieces by Lajos Papp in which you have to place the keys down silently in one hand before beginning, the notes of which vibrate sympathetically. Or I might do a bit of Dohyanhi for one lesson just for the thrill of seeing whether you can keep the finger down that you are supposed to. Or I might find a five finger duet book and see if she can sightread through the Primo parts. I might take Snow White by Leslie Fly to illustrate different types of staccato. Or I might grab a piece that incorporates finger snaps, such as Boogie Woogie Bear by Anne Crosby.

I might raise the issue of how you (CarolR) deal with the fact that sometimes other people half your age are miles ahead of you, a teacher of piano (can you believe it?)...but everybody has something to contribute to music and something to enjoy in it.

For fun, you could try reverse psychology. You could say, "Your parents are finding it stressful trying to get you to practice, so please, please, please, DON'T practice for three weeks. They need a break so just try to learn only during the lesson. Promise?"

Good Luck.

Would you be willing to suggest another teacher? Perhaps since the parents are friends of yours, they don't feel comfortable suggesting this themselves, but might be willing to try it if you suggest it.

I did suggest this (a different teacher) to the parents. I encouraged her to stick out the year, at least until the recital in 6 weeks, and then if she wanted to find a new teacher in the fall, I could give some suggestions.

Candywoman - I love your 'DON'T practice idea. I think I'll give that a try. I'll look into some of that music, too. Thanks.

As I've said, the oddest thing is the complete turn around. She's so emotionally sensitive, and much of that is nothing I can do anything about. I find this all rather trying. I'll see her today, do the best I can, and hope for the best.

I wonder if a good friend has said something negative about the piano... or something about her playing. She may have been really hurt by someone's comments - and at that age girls are particularly sensitive and don't want to seem weird or stupid in front of their friends.

Maybe a chat with her to see whether anyone has made negative comments... or ask her what her friends think of her learning the piano?

Just a thought!

I had something similar happen with a beginner student of mine. She was in 3rd grade and loving piano, and then all of a sudden, she stopped practicing, stopped loving it. She was very musical and would enjoy singing along whenever I played new pieces for her. After a talk with the parents I found out that her friends at school said something negative about it, probably out of jealousy (this student would sometimes ask to play songs for the whole class). Her mother had quit piano lessons as a child and refused to let her daughter quit for this. We have been working through it and now a year later, she finally is practicing regularly. I think what sparked it was she participated in WMTA auditions this year and received good scores on both her playing and theory test. Receiving that acknowledgment from a "judge" really helped her to feel good about what she's doing.

I would try improvising with her, teaching her 12-bar blues, composition, and perhaps have her pair up with a student who is slightly below her level to do a duet. Encourage her with stories of your own frustrations and how you overcome them. Also, get her to agree to sit in front of the piano every day and at the very least play a scale, or set other small goals that she can feel good about accomplishing. Then discuss her "victories" of the week at lessons.

Moradiene - that sounds just like my student. Though, I don't know if someone said something to her or not. Her mom suspects that she herself may have said a few things about how great another student of mine was at the last recital, making my student feel bad.

So - here's an update. She bounced in to her lesson today completely and totally into it. She was honest and apologetic about not practicing, but very enthusiastic (without prompting) about continuing to play the pieces she's had for a while. We had a long, fun conversation about what it feels like to sit down and practice, and how to make it more fun. We also discussed how easy it is to get frustrated, and then when a parent comes (solicited or not) to help, it's too easy to errupt. I told her I have the same frustration when I'm having computer problems. My husband has to be very careful, cause I am prone to snapping. She seemed to really like hearing that she wasn't the only one who can get frustrated and angry. So we did a practice practice. I stuffed a rag in my mouth and observed her, and was able to assure her that she was doing all the right things when she practiced ALL BY HERSELF! And that she really didn't need her dad. We agreed, no dads allowed this week. She was completely gung ho about this idea. I'm getting whiplash from this student!

Glad to hear today's lesson went well.
So do you think that part of the issue with this student is that her dad was sitting through her practice sessions with her? This has been an issue with my students at about the age of yours, 4th grade. They want independence at practice time.

From what I was understanding, she was asking her dad to help her, but then being impossible with him. I think it's the opposite of your student. She doesn't want independence! That's what I'm trying to instill in her, to do it all by herself, without her parents nagging her or helping her. I hope the positive attitude she had today (And I quote "I'm going to take piano next year and forever!!!")lasts! Her complete and total lack of practice the last month has been impressive. Today she kept saying "I need to practice this part, and I'm going to!". But truthfully, I'd say not a single student this week practiced much over spring break, which was last week. I feel like I need a little machine next to the piano that gives a little talk about practice. All I have to do is push a button and save my own breath.