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#1414308 - 04/09/10 03:48 PM
Encouraging vs. Demanding
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3000 Post Club Member
Registered: 08/07/07
Posts: 3586
Loc: Orange County, CA
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Is it better to be an encouraging piano teacher or a demanding one? Is there room for both in one studio?
_________________________
Private Piano Teacher and MTAC Member
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#1414310 - 04/09/10 03:54 PM
Re: Encouraging vs. Demanding
[Re: Morodiene]
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500 Post Club Member
Registered: 01/01/09
Posts: 844
Loc: Ohio
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I think the teacher must encourage a student for their efforts, and praise them for their achievements, but needs to lay down the line if the student isn't practicing, etc.
_________________________
Working On:
BACH: Invention No. 13 in a min. GRIEG: Notturno Op. 54 No. 4 VILLA-LOBOS: O Polichinelo
Next Up:
BACH: Keyboard Concerto in f minor
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#1414379 - 04/09/10 05:54 PM
Re: Encouraging vs. Demanding
[Re: AZNpiano]
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1000 Post Club Member
Registered: 04/11/09
Posts: 1253
Loc: northern California
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Is it better to be an encouraging piano teacher or a demanding one? Is there room for both in one studio? What a great topic! I had this verbage come up today with a student's parent. Student refuses to play "anything slow". I assigned her a Schubert waltz (an easy one) and she reluctantly (borderline rudely) worked on it, kicking and screaming (not literally) the whole way. She's 15. Her parent said, "you can't just encourage her to play slower pieces, you have to demand it". Funny that this just came up today for me, and here is your thread  I told the parent that I have explained why we should learn to play pieces other than the run and gun fast ones to her child, and the kid is rude, but parent says to teach the pieces anyway and she will talk with her child. Student is a new transfer to me.
Edited by Barb860 (04/09/10 05:55 PM) Edit Reason: last sentence
_________________________
Piano Teacher 1991
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#1414454 - 04/09/10 07:18 PM
Re: Encouraging vs. Demanding
[Re: Barb860]
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3000 Post Club Member
Registered: 06/08/08
Posts: 3920
Loc: Seattle area, WA
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I think it all depends on how you do it. I had a teacher whose praise was rare and therefore very precious. But he always noticed my hard work and would say something like, "that's getting better". He would never say I didn't play something well. Instead he would correct me by gently saying "may I suggestion you try..." He made me feel like I could accomplish anything and I always wanted to work my hardest to please him. My lessons and practice sessions were a joy.
On the other hand, I had a teacher who did nothing but nitpick and criticize. Her praise was half hearted and non specific. I did not feel like hard work was noticed or appreciated. She was very demanding, never pleased and my difficulties seemed to please her. (She was a witch.)
So, I'd suggest always showing appreciation for hard work even if the goal has not been reached. Be demanding in a kind and encouraging way. Save the praise for moments when it has sincerely been earned.
_________________________
Best regards,
Deborah
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#1414459 - 04/09/10 07:24 PM
Re: Encouraging vs. Demanding
[Re: Barb860]
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4000 Post Club Member
Registered: 06/11/07
Posts: 4878
Loc: Puyallup, Washington
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Great subject, AZN,
I think we do both at different times for different purposes. I think both are required when a situation demands it. Being patient and encouraging is not in opposition to "demanding" high standards and good musicianship and preparing lesson assignments well.
Demanding is a state of mind to me for a particular outcome. If it becomes negative, scolding, rude, about the teacher's temper or ego needs, it becomes, in my mind, verbal abuse. It is then not piano teaching at all. And totally lacking in encouragment. I don't think brutality belongs in piano teaching.
Betty
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Piano Teacher - Member MTNA/WSMTA
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#1414501 - 04/09/10 08:15 PM
Re: Encouraging vs. Demanding
[Re: Betty Patnude]
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Full Member
Registered: 11/10/09
Posts: 216
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I'm not a teacher but can I butt in? It depends so much on the student! My 8 yr old son's first teacher was strict and demanding (also validated success and gave praise, but his demeanor was stern). He scared my son to death and son quit lessons until a number of months later when I just recently found him a new teacher. New teacher is very positive and encouraging, pushes him along but in a different way. He'll work with my son to correct things that aren't played right but somehow doesn't seem negative about it. For my particular child, at this particular age, the positive, warm encouraging approach works much better.
For me, as an adult re-learner, the first teacher was better. I liked him so much that *I* take lessons from him. Unlike my little boy, I have the maturity to appreciate his emphasis on things that need more work rather than things that are going well. Praise from him is hard-earned when it comes!
I would think that the best teachers know how to size up their students and for each one tailor a balance between "encouraging" and "demanding."
Edited by T'sMom (04/09/10 08:20 PM)
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#1414502 - 04/09/10 08:18 PM
Re: Encouraging vs. Demanding
[Re: gooddog]
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Full Member
Registered: 11/10/09
Posts: 216
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I had a teacher who did nothing but nitpick and criticize. Her praise was half hearted and non specific. I did not feel like hard work was noticed or appreciated. She was very demanding, never pleased and my difficulties seemed to please her. YIKES!
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#1414505 - 04/09/10 08:28 PM
Re: Encouraging vs. Demanding
[Re: T'sMom]
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1000 Post Club Member
Registered: 04/11/09
Posts: 1253
Loc: northern California
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I had a teacher who did nothing but nitpick and criticize. Her praise was half hearted and non specific. I did not feel like hard work was noticed or appreciated. She was very demanding, never pleased and my difficulties seemed to please her. YIKES! "my difficulties seemed to please her". YIKES from me, too! This situation sounds like the teacher had an ego/insecurity problem. A demanding demeanor from her would have been difficult to say the least, I'm guessing.
_________________________
Piano Teacher 1991
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#1414513 - 04/09/10 08:45 PM
Re: Encouraging vs. Demanding
[Re: gooddog]
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3000 Post Club Member
Registered: 08/07/07
Posts: 3586
Loc: Orange County, CA
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always showing appreciation for hard work even if the goal has not been reached. Interesting. That thought never crossed my mind. But it makes sense.
_________________________
Private Piano Teacher and MTAC Member
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#1414515 - 04/09/10 08:50 PM
Re: Encouraging vs. Demanding
[Re: AZNpiano]
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3000 Post Club Member
Registered: 08/07/07
Posts: 3586
Loc: Orange County, CA
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I asked the question because I used to be super-super-demanding, but when I started to be more "encouraging," the students' performance level dropped significantly. I know I am still critical and nitpicking, but maybe I need to re-evaluate how I show appreciation and _when_ I show appreciation.
This comes in the wake of my student's admission that he doesn't practice very much. He has always been one of the best students. I assumed he plays well because he actually practices. Boy, am I wrong.
_________________________
Private Piano Teacher and MTAC Member
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#1414558 - 04/09/10 10:24 PM
Re: Encouraging vs. Demanding
[Re: AZNpiano]
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500 Post Club Member
Registered: 08/12/09
Posts: 873
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Ultimately, you need to teach the student self-discipline and motivation. Long after they've finished studies with you, they will only continue to play music that gives them enjoyment.
I used to have one of those old school classical teachers who rarely gave praise and was generally a nagging person. I learned to tune her out and figure out what I needed to do to improve.
If the music stirs you it will make you want to learn and play it well.
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#1414565 - 04/09/10 10:39 PM
Re: Encouraging vs. Demanding
[Re: Barb860]
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3000 Post Club Member
Registered: 06/08/08
Posts: 3920
Loc: Seattle area, WA
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I had a teacher who did nothing but nitpick and criticize. Her praise was half hearted and non specific. I did not feel like hard work was noticed or appreciated. She was very demanding, never pleased and my difficulties seemed to please her. YIKES! "my difficulties seemed to please her". YIKES from me, too! This situation sounds like the teacher had an ego/insecurity problem. . Yes, you nailed it. Our relationship only lasted 10 months. I learned a lot but was miserable.
_________________________
Best regards,
Deborah
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#1414571 - 04/09/10 10:56 PM
Re: Encouraging vs. Demanding
[Re: AZNpiano]
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3000 Post Club Member
Registered: 08/30/08
Posts: 3465
Loc: South Florida
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Is it better to be an encouraging piano teacher or a demanding one? Is there room for both in one studio? Both, but in different amounts, on different ocassions, and wih different personalities.
_________________________
Piano Teacher
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#1414572 - 04/09/10 10:58 PM
Re: Encouraging vs. Demanding
[Re: Betty Patnude]
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3000 Post Club Member
Registered: 08/30/08
Posts: 3465
Loc: South Florida
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Demanding is a state of mind to me for a particular outcome. If it becomes negative, scolding, rude, about the teacher's temper or ego needs, it becomes, in my mind, verbal abuse. It is then not piano teaching at all. And totally lacking in encouragment. I don't think brutality belongs in piano teaching.
Betty
+2 !!!!!
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Piano Teacher
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#1414580 - 04/09/10 11:16 PM
Re: Encouraging vs. Demanding
[Re: Frozenicicles]
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Full Member
Registered: 11/10/09
Posts: 216
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I think the more demanding (but not mean) teacher has a role in teaching intermediate students. Beginners (usually young children) need to have a more encouraging environment to grow to love music. As they reach the intermediate stage, many need more push to be regular practisers and pay attention to details before they can overcome a plateau that often crops up here. The advanced teacher should no longer have to be demanding but be more of a musical mentor to guide interpretation. At this stage, the student should be very self-motivated already.
This doesn't take into account variations in personalities, but it's just a trend that I observed. My current teacher is pretty encouraging and she has excellent beginners and advanced students, but her intermediates can be terrible. I never thought of it this way before, but what you say makes so much sense. The first time around I think I got stuck, as a young teen,in intermediate land with "nice" teachers who didn't push me when I could have used pushing.
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#1414688 - 04/10/10 09:22 AM
Re: Encouraging vs. Demanding
[Re: T'sMom]
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Junior Member
Registered: 04/06/10
Posts: 1
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My second piano teacher was quite an old lady, very stern, and nothing I or my sisters did seemed to 'get through'. Lessons were always a chore, and I think of them now and can't help but "sigh". It was a huge shame, because I liked playing the piano.
However, after a series of lessons where I came out of the lesson and got into Mum's car in tears, we said we'd all stop having lessons for a while - my 'excuse' was that I wanted to concentrate on school exams.
My sisters found another teacher, completely different, but I just couldn't bring myself to go back to that environment at that time.
Strangely enough, I kept my Clarinet going though!
One of my previous Clarinet teachers in years gone by absolutely trashed my motivation... coming up to G6 clarinet, (still about a month away) and I was having a "one of those days" with scales - the comment, I can still hear him saying now - "Well you won't pass your exam playing like that will you?"
No - give me SOME credit for common sense, I know I won't - however can't I just have an off day today?!?!!? Oh and by the way, instead of criticising and a feeling of instilling failure, how about an alternative method of practise, or exercise to deal with that particular fingering????
I think the point I'm attempting to make, is that there were some 'dragons' of music teachers. Strange then is it that I am now pursuing that route of career?!?
But actually, the thing that makes me want to do this, is to be as fun, engaging, and inspiring as (a few of) my past teachers weren't!
My few students all get amazing tuition, and nothing is skipped over or passed up, points are made seriously when it is necessary, however most of my lessons always include a fair amount of smiles and laughter - perhaps because I know how blooming hard it is to learn when you're not having any kind of fun!
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#1414742 - 04/10/10 12:15 PM
Re: Encouraging vs. Demanding
[Re: AZNpiano]
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3000 Post Club Member
Registered: 08/29/08
Posts: 3534
Loc: New York
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This comes in the wake of my student's admission that he doesn't practice very much. He has always been one of the best students. I assumed he plays well because he actually practices. Boy, am I wrong.
Interesting. How could he have fooled you?? If he is that good, then why should he practice more???
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#1414748 - 04/10/10 12:34 PM
Re: Encouraging vs. Demanding
[Re: AZNpiano]
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7000 Post Club Member
Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 7435
Loc: Canada
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AZN, is it possible that he practices sufficiently for the goals you have set for him? Is he reaching your expectations? My thought is that it would be silly to practice a certain amount just for the sake of practising a certain amount. Might you set new goals?
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#1414750 - 04/10/10 12:37 PM
Re: Encouraging vs. Demanding
[Re: AZNpiano]
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1000 Post Club Member
Registered: 02/26/06
Posts: 1895
Loc: Andorra
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I asked the question because I used to be super-super-demanding, but when I started to be more "encouraging," the students' performance level dropped significantly. I know I am still critical and nitpicking, but maybe I need to re-evaluate how I show appreciation and _when_ I show appreciation.
This comes in the wake of my student's admission that he doesn't practice very much. He has always been one of the best students. I assumed he plays well because he actually practices. Boy, am I wrong. I don't understand the relation between the first paragraph and the second.
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#1414790 - 04/10/10 01:53 PM
Re: Encouraging vs. Demanding
[Re: AZNpiano]
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Full Member
Registered: 07/27/09
Posts: 177
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I'm pretty sure I'm both.
It's just that, even when I'm demanding, I take care to never be negative, rude or demeaning.
I do think there's a difference between being demanding (having high standards) and being demanding (being stern, rude, mean etc.)
I've had both types of teachers. I responded well to high standards being expected of me in a positive manner.
I have a couple of students who were capable but who did not care to practice. I very sweetly and politely had some talks with them for about 2 weeks about how I was bored when they didn't practice before lessons, and weren't they, too?
I told them that if their parents wanted to continue to pay me, we could just do the same thing over and over again if they REALLY wanted to, but that it would just be no fun for either of us and if they were going to choose to keep this up, it would probably be better to not waste their money.
Everyone I've used this spiel on, straightens up fairly quickly. I am demanding, but in the end I give my students a choice on their behaviors and actions. And I'm never rude about it.
_________________________
Pianist Accompanist Piano Teacher and best of all... Mom!
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#1414820 - 04/10/10 02:45 PM
Re: Encouraging vs. Demanding
[Re: AZNpiano]
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2000 Post Club Member
Registered: 11/16/06
Posts: 2675
Loc: Western Canada
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Is it better to be an encouraging piano teacher or a demanding one? Is there room for both in one studio? Have had my share of "mind games" piano teachers who will "encourage" (but it's more like CONTROLING) their student by never being satisifed with anything that student does but it's more that they just want to get them to practice to something like 3 to 4 hours, then at some point, the student realizes it was just a scam! This produces short-term results, but leaves out the most important teaching aspect of "TRUST"! Trusting a teacher that that teacher will get you where you should go, without needing to second guess their motive! A teacher needs to love what they do, and not just be doing it for the money, or in some cases, the EGO trip! Some kids/teens find piano comes very easy to them, while others students, it's not really their thing, but they want to play anyways! So for those students who will practice regardless, they are fun to teach, but the other ones, it takes understanding and pure patience!
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#1415046 - 04/11/10 12:09 AM
Re: Encouraging vs. Demanding
[Re: keystring]
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3000 Post Club Member
Registered: 08/07/07
Posts: 3586
Loc: Orange County, CA
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AZN, is it possible that he practices sufficiently for the goals you have set for him? Is he reaching your expectations? My thought is that it would be silly to practice a certain amount just for the sake of practising a certain amount. Might you set new goals? Yeah, time to set the bar higher. He's not just fooling me. He's fooling judges at competitions and exams. I knew he had some abilities. I guess I can be more demanding in this case.
_________________________
Private Piano Teacher and MTAC Member
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#1415731 - 04/12/10 09:47 AM
Re: Encouraging vs. Demanding
[Re: AZNpiano]
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500 Post Club Member
Registered: 07/28/09
Posts: 770
Loc: Georgia
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I would suggest that, along with individual needs, the level of achievement might also play a role in determining a good balance. I saved an article from a magazine called "Parenting for High Potential" Dec 2001. It is called "'One Size Fits All' Doesn't Work When Selecting a Mentor," by Dr. Del Siegle. The link is here: http://www.gifted.uconn.edu/siegle/Publications/PHPMentor.pdfThe article talks about the different types of teachers needed for different stages of talent development, and although not specific to piano, is very pertinent. He divides talent development into stages: 1. Play and Romance. Encouragement is frequent at this level. Lots of rewards. Mentors are kind, nice, and patient. 2. Precision and Discipline. These mentors are chosen for their expertise and connections. 3. Generalization and Integration. The move from technical precision to personal expression. Mentors are masters of their field. These mentors are less tolerant, more demanding. In some senses, I think it is oversimplified and generalized. But it does help me to recognize when it is time to move my students on to the next level (which, in my case, means a different teacher).
_________________________
piano teacher
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