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#1417823 - 04/15/10 11:04 AM Pianists and relationships
Pogorelich. Offline
4000 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/28/08
Posts: 4491
Loc: in the past
Ever dated another pianist? How did that go? Did it ever get competitive; did you ever argue about music topics/each other's playing?

Not sure if this belongs here, but it IS called pianist corner so I figured it's ok.. =P
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'I want to invest my emotions only in music; it will never disappoint me or hurt me - it is a safe place to be.'

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#1417842 - 04/15/10 11:25 AM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Pogorelich.]
acortot Offline
Full Member

Registered: 06/28/07
Posts: 426
Loc: Italy
I did, but I play a few instruments, have a bit of experience as an arranger and producer and know something about making music in general, not just limited to the piano..

..but I do have the advantage of not really a pianist, so I would never be able to compete in the first place..and I don't get jelous either.



Edited by acortot (04/15/10 11:34 AM)
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rhythm must be inborn

An Article on the unusual makeup of original Pleyel hammers, during Chopin's lifetime:

http://acortot.blogspot.it/2012/07/pleyel-hammers-in-chopin-era-i-martelli.html

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#1417845 - 04/15/10 11:31 AM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Pogorelich.]
heidiv Offline
500 Post Club Member

Registered: 04/21/09
Posts: 579
Loc: piano bench, usually
Originally Posted By: AngelinaPogorelich
Ever dated another pianist?


Nope. I guess you'd need a clipboard hanging on the wall to sign up for piano time, like for the treadmills at the health club.
"Okay honey, you get 6:00-7:00, then I get 7:00-8:00." laugh

I've heard it said in jest that the secret to a happy marriage is separate bathrooms and separate bank accounts. Perhaps if 2 pianists were a couple, separate pianos in separate soundproofed rooms might be necessary too!

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#1417862 - 04/15/10 11:45 AM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: heidiv]
Entheo Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Registered: 01/12/04
Posts: 1111
Loc: chicago, il
reminds me of a joke:

This guy walks into a bar, pulls out a tiny piano and stool, and a tiny little man. The tiny man sits down, and starts to play the piano. This other guy notices it. "Hey, what's that?"

"A twelve-inch pianist. Ya see, I found this magic lamp, rubbed it, made a wish, I got a twelve inch pianist."

"Can I try?" The man with the piano agrees and a minute later, a million ducks fill the room.

"Ducks? I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks!"

"Ya think I really wished for a twelve inch pianist?"
_________________________
diary of an amateur pianist

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#1417864 - 04/15/10 11:53 AM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: heidiv]
Pogorelich. Offline
4000 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/28/08
Posts: 4491
Loc: in the past
Originally Posted By: heidiv


I've heard it said in jest that the secret to a happy marriage is separate bathrooms and separate bank accounts. Perhaps if 2 pianists were a couple, separate pianos in separate soundproofed rooms might be necessary too!


Yup.. either that or hopefully we'll both have studios at the schools we teach.
_________________________

'I want to invest my emotions only in music; it will never disappoint me or hurt me - it is a safe place to be.'

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#1417901 - 04/15/10 12:41 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Pogorelich.]
fuzzy8balls Offline
Full Member

Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 465
Loc: San Diego, CA
Are you trying to hit on me Angelina?
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YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/user/fuzzy8balls

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#1417917 - 04/15/10 12:55 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: fuzzy8balls]
Pogorelich. Offline
4000 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/28/08
Posts: 4491
Loc: in the past
Hahaha.. I never intentionally hit on people.. =)
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'I want to invest my emotions only in music; it will never disappoint me or hurt me - it is a safe place to be.'

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#1417942 - 04/15/10 01:29 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Pogorelich.]
fuzzy8balls Offline
Full Member

Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 465
Loc: San Diego, CA
Hehe I'm just kidding -- I actually did date a pianist for a little bit.

What was funny is that she never wanted to play piano or listen to any type of classical music with me. She just wanted to go out and have fun at the beach, eat hamburgers, go to movies, etc. She wasn't even interested in hearing me play at all.

Honestly I think I practiced even more than she did while I am working a full time systems engineering job. She liked to take pictures of food she cooks and do other stuff. I think she was probably just disillusioned with piano and the music field in general.
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#1418052 - 04/15/10 04:36 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: fuzzy8balls]
MegumiNoda Offline
Full Member

Registered: 05/31/09
Posts: 203
A romantic relationship between two people who participate in the same highly specialized area has both benefits and pitfalls.

Pros:
+ You understand what each other might be going through.
+ You share a serious common interest, and most likely, a similar outlook on everything else because this interest is such a big part of your life.
+ You have one more person whom you trust and who is close to you to give you really honest feedback on your performances -- this feedback may be more valuable than from your teacher because you are closer to each other.
+ You can learn vicariously from each other's experiences.

Cons:
- Competition: Even if you are not particularly competitive in nature, situations may force it upon you.
- On a related note, unless you live in a metropolis like NYC, it may be hard to find a place where both of you can have unhindered career advancement. This is especially true if both of you have identical aspirations. It's more workable if one person wants something slightly different (my piano teacher's husband, for example, focuses more on composing while she focuses more on teaching and performing).

It's only based on anecdotal evidences, but I think the pros outweigh the cons.

[addendum: chances are, you will argue about music at some time. But if you are together, it must mean that you already respect each other. Then, it's much easier to "agree to disagree."]


Edited by MegumiNoda (04/15/10 04:53 PM)

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#1418066 - 04/15/10 05:12 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Pogorelich.]
Damon Offline
5000 Post Club Member

Registered: 09/22/06
Posts: 5920
Loc: St. Louis area
After much memory searching, I think I can safely say I've never even dated a musician.
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Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

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#1418070 - 04/15/10 05:14 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Damon]
Orange Soda King Offline
6000 Post Club Member

Registered: 11/25/09
Posts: 6035
Loc: Louisville, Kentucky, United S...
I dated a pianist. smile And we got along fine. We're still good friends today.

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#1418088 - 04/15/10 05:35 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Orange Soda King]
Pogorelich. Offline
4000 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/28/08
Posts: 4491
Loc: in the past
Hmm.. interesting stories.

Is anyone married to another pianist? I wonder what that's like!
_________________________

'I want to invest my emotions only in music; it will never disappoint me or hurt me - it is a safe place to be.'

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#1418115 - 04/15/10 06:45 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Pogorelich.]
stores Offline
6000 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 6645
Loc: Here, as opposed to there
Originally Posted By: AngelinaPogorelich


Is anyone married to another pianist? I wonder what that's like!


You could marry me and find out. =p=p=p
_________________________

"And if we look at the works of J.S. Bach — a benevolent god to which all musicians should offer a prayer to defend themselves against mediocrity... -Debussy

"It's ok if you disagree with me. I can't force you to be right."

♪ ≠ $


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#1418116 - 04/15/10 06:49 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Pogorelich.]
Kreisler Offline



Registered: 11/27/02
Posts: 13706
Loc: Iowa City, IA
I can think of a few very successful pianist couples:

Misha and Cipa Dichter

Elisabeth and Eugene Pridonoff

John and Nancy Weems

Alvin Chow and Angela Cheng


I also know of a few couples who didn't make it, which probably means that pianist couples are just like all the other couples in the world. Some make it, some don't.
_________________________
"If we continually try to force a child to do what he is afraid to do, he will become more timid, and will use his brains and energy, not to explore the unknown, but to find ways to avoid the pressures we put on him." (John Holt)

www.pianoped.com
www.youtube.com/user/UIPianoPed

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#1418117 - 04/15/10 06:52 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Kreisler]
Pogorelich. Offline
4000 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/28/08
Posts: 4491
Loc: in the past
So Angela and Andre are done for sure?
_________________________

'I want to invest my emotions only in music; it will never disappoint me or hurt me - it is a safe place to be.'

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#1418120 - 04/15/10 06:54 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: stores]
Pogorelich. Offline
4000 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/28/08
Posts: 4491
Loc: in the past
Originally Posted By: stores
Originally Posted By: AngelinaPogorelich


Is anyone married to another pianist? I wonder what that's like!


You could marry me and find out. =p=p=p


you can have it out with my man =P
_________________________

'I want to invest my emotions only in music; it will never disappoint me or hurt me - it is a safe place to be.'

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#1418127 - 04/15/10 07:02 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Pogorelich.]
fuzzy8balls Offline
Full Member

Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 465
Loc: San Diego, CA
haha go stores!
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#1418128 - 04/15/10 07:03 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Pogorelich.]
LisztAddict Offline
2000 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/12/05
Posts: 2895
Loc: Florida
In the next piano competition for amateurs in Chicago, there are 2 couples of husbands and wives competing. I've seen a few sparks in amateur piano competitions; nothing to do with me though. laugh

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#1418184 - 04/15/10 09:23 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: LisztAddict]
Pogorelich. Offline
4000 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/28/08
Posts: 4491
Loc: in the past
For me it's been interesting dating a pianist for almost 2 years now. I've always known him as the piano God around here because he's so good.. and I knew him for 5 years before we went out. So I think because of that I never feel competitive. (also, because he's a guy and is 4 years older haha). I've learned so much from him about music and we had duo coachings with his teacher who is INCREDIBLE.

Unfortunately we're aiming for the same job - position at a university, so I don't know how that's going to be. The good thing is, he's heading for performing solo mostly, and I want to do more collab and teaching.

Also being with someone who is so much better than you drives you to get better.. which I have, I think.. I recently won a competition that I wouldn't have had a chance at 2 years ago =) We do fight and we've ripped each other's performances to shreds and I threw a score at him last year before a duo concert.. but it's all good in the end!
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'I want to invest my emotions only in music; it will never disappoint me or hurt me - it is a safe place to be.'

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#1418188 - 04/15/10 09:29 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Pogorelich.]
Kreisler Offline



Registered: 11/27/02
Posts: 13706
Loc: Iowa City, IA
I'd think twice before applying for the same job. One of my graduate advisors used to warn us away from that because we tended to look very similar on paper and might "cancel each other out."

And be careful how you handle interviews. Be sure you come across as "If you hire me, you also get him - an excellent accompanist. Two pianists for the price of one!" You don't want to come across as "I'll work for you until one of us gets a better job or someone hires us both."
_________________________
"If we continually try to force a child to do what he is afraid to do, he will become more timid, and will use his brains and energy, not to explore the unknown, but to find ways to avoid the pressures we put on him." (John Holt)

www.pianoped.com
www.youtube.com/user/UIPianoPed

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#1418191 - 04/15/10 09:34 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Kreisler]
Pogorelich. Offline
4000 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/28/08
Posts: 4491
Loc: in the past
Not for the same job at the same university hopefully... But yeah I know it'll be tough =( Although I don't have to worry about that for at least 7 years!
_________________________

'I want to invest my emotions only in music; it will never disappoint me or hurt me - it is a safe place to be.'

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#1418192 - 04/15/10 09:35 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: LisztAddict]
Orange Soda King Offline
6000 Post Club Member

Registered: 11/25/09
Posts: 6035
Loc: Louisville, Kentucky, United S...
These pianists aren't the superstars (yet), but how about Dmitri and Anna Shelest? Anna is a wonderfully talented artist who has released a great Rachmaninoff CD many here seem to be familiar with, and Dmitri is also a wonderful pianist, although he doesn't seem to be as big into the performing as she is.

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#1418195 - 04/15/10 09:39 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Orange Soda King]
Pogorelich. Offline
4000 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/28/08
Posts: 4491
Loc: in the past
So the woman has a good career as opposed to the man? Hey that gives me hope =) Maybe I won't end up teaching 4 year olds where middle C is for a living.. (I envy anyone who is great with kids though! Just not my thing).
_________________________

'I want to invest my emotions only in music; it will never disappoint me or hurt me - it is a safe place to be.'

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#1418199 - 04/15/10 10:01 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Pogorelich.]
epf Offline
500 Post Club Member

Registered: 11/13/07
Posts: 658
Loc: Central Texas
Not only did I date a pianist, I married her! We have TWO pianos in the house, but she almost never plays anymore. She was a better sight reader, I was better at improvisation -- worked out for both of us (been married for over 40 years now).

Ed
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#1418200 - 04/15/10 10:05 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: epf]
Pogorelich. Offline
4000 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/28/08
Posts: 4491
Loc: in the past
Originally Posted By: epf
Not only did I date a pianist, I married her! We have TWO pianos in the house, but she almost never plays anymore. She was a better sight reader, I was better at improvisation -- worked out for both of us (been married for over 40 years now).

Ed


That is soooo sweet!
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'I want to invest my emotions only in music; it will never disappoint me or hurt me - it is a safe place to be.'

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#1418213 - 04/15/10 10:28 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Pogorelich.]
Piano*Dad Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Registered: 04/12/05
Posts: 10297
Loc: Williamsburg, VA
Nope, never dated a musician. Then again, I don't think I would qualify for that label either. smile

My wife is rather good with a very sharp blade, so I wouldn't want to get too competitive. grin
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#1418223 - 04/15/10 10:57 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Piano*Dad]
-Frycek Offline
5000 Post Club Member

Registered: 08/06/05
Posts: 5921
Loc: SC Mountains
Well, my husband was reluctant to watch Shine because he said the synopsis made it sound too much like real life - - -
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Slow down and do it right.

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#1418236 - 04/15/10 11:38 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Kreisler]
MegumiNoda Offline
Full Member

Registered: 05/31/09
Posts: 203
Originally Posted By: Kreisler

And be careful how you handle interviews. Be sure you come across as "If you hire me, you also get him - an excellent accompanist. Two pianists for the price of one!" You don't want to come across as "I'll work for you until one of us gets a better job or someone hires us both."


Negotiating dual careers in academia (sometimes also known as the "two body problem" amongst the science-oriented set) is tricky, to say the least. I imagine it's even trickier for musicians than science/tech-oriented couples. Although it's not exactly the same thing, the OP might be interested in some of the links collected at this webpage:

http://www.phds.org/jobs/the-two-body-problem/


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#1418239 - 04/15/10 11:47 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: -Frycek]
argerichfan Offline
8000 Post Club Member

Registered: 11/15/06
Posts: 8699
Loc: Pacific Northwest, US.
My significant 'other' is English Lit oriented. We're both Anglican, but there is never any discussion about my abilities (very fine I fancy) as a church organist, mostly confined to comments about The Book of Common Prayer. (Whole 'nother story and hotly debated on a different board.)

We have had some intense interaction regarding Shakespeare, though...
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Jason

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#1418311 - 04/16/10 06:28 AM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: argerichfan]
-Frycek Offline
5000 Post Club Member

Registered: 08/06/05
Posts: 5921
Loc: SC Mountains
Actually my first love was an organist. I was sixteen. He was twenty-four. We were in an amateur opera company together. My parents wouldn't let him take me out so we would sit on the sofa in my parents' living room and listen to old Mario Lanza recordings. How old fashioned is that?
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