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#1423317 - 04/24/10 01:04 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Diablo]
Legal Beagle Offline
500 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/24/09
Posts: 776
Quote:
Eventually she paid me and on leaving she told me I was the tightest b****ard she ever met and I told her she was the most awful player I ever heard.


laugh That's absolutely hilarious. That should be a scene in a movie. Thanks for the chuckle.
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"Wide awake, I can make my most fantastic dreams come true..."
- Lorenz Hart

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#1423319 - 04/24/10 01:10 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Pogorelich.]
Frozenicicles Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Registered: 09/02/09
Posts: 1324
Loc: Canada
Originally Posted By: AngelinaPogorelich
...My boyfriend and I always split things. And since I make more than him, I sometimes treat him =)

That's pretty progressive of him. A lot of guys don't like it when the girl pays. Didn't you mention that he's a pretty well-known musician already? You must be doing well, then. thumb

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#1423330 - 04/24/10 01:19 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Pogorelich.]
Mattardo Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Registered: 02/11/08
Posts: 1306
Originally Posted By: AngelinaPogorelich

Mattardo: Pardon my bluntness, but why are you with such person?


Like I mentioned, some people are not who they seem to be and we often don't realize this until much later in a relationship (you know the saying: "Love is blind"). Through a combination of denial, slow-realization, love and routine it has continued for some years and is quickly running its course to it's inevitable end. There are just factors involved that exclude a sudden sundering of the relationship: it's just not as easy as 1,2,3 - it never is.

I imagine by the end of the year the situation will be different, and I'll be either single or in another relationship again!

I like the idea mentioned earlier in the thread, though - Piano Forum should open a "Looking for Love" Section! laugh Sections could include "Pianist looking for Pianist" or "Pianist looking for Violinist" and "Pianist looking to start Trio" (Ooh kinky!) or "Pianist looking for attractive Tuner willing to trade love for a well-voiced instrument"....Who's in charge of this place? blush

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#1423332 - 04/24/10 01:21 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Frozenicicles]
Pogorelich. Offline
4000 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/28/08
Posts: 4491
Loc: in the past
Originally Posted By: Frozenicicles
Originally Posted By: AngelinaPogorelich
...My boyfriend and I always split things. And since I make more than him, I sometimes treat him =)

That's pretty progressive of him. A lot of guys don't like it when the girl pays. Didn't you mention that he's a pretty well-known musician already? You must be doing well, then. thumb


Oh he doesn't always like it but if I want a night out and he says he's short on money I insist on going out and paying. I wouldn't force him to pay if it's me who insists on going out =P

He is well known but he's also still a student.. the only reason I make more is because I teach and he doesn't - he only accompanies and does gigs, which isn't stable and mine is.. I mean orchestra gigs are great but that doesn't happen very often! So I'm able to save a reasonable amount of $$ every month. Also, my rent is nothing compared to his..
_________________________

'I want to invest my emotions only in music; it will never disappoint me or hurt me - it is a safe place to be.'

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#1423506 - 04/24/10 06:10 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Pogorelich.]
Diablo Offline
Full Member

Registered: 09/25/09
Posts: 36


So I'm able to save a reasonable amount of $$ every month. Also, my rent is nothing compared to his.. [/quote]


Could you please lend me some money to date another pianist?.......

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#1423514 - 04/24/10 06:18 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Diablo]
Pogorelich. Offline
4000 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/28/08
Posts: 4491
Loc: in the past
Haha you wish.. Kinda need it for my tuition!
_________________________

'I want to invest my emotions only in music; it will never disappoint me or hurt me - it is a safe place to be.'

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#1423892 - 04/25/10 11:05 AM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Mattardo]
Cinnamonbear Offline
3000 Post Club Member

Registered: 01/09/10
Posts: 3724
Loc: Rockford, IL
Originally Posted By: Mattardo

I like the idea mentioned earlier in the thread, though - Piano Forum should open a "Looking for Love" Section! laugh Sections could include "Pianist looking for Pianist" or "Pianist looking for Violinist" and "Pianist looking to start Trio" (Ooh kinky!) or "Pianist looking for attractive Tuner willing to trade love for a well-voiced instrument"....


laugh ha ha ha ha

Laughed till I cried at this one, M.
_________________________
I may not be fast,
but at least I'm slow.

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#1424279 - 04/26/10 01:46 AM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Mattardo]
Cinnamonbear Offline
3000 Post Club Member

Registered: 01/09/10
Posts: 3724
Loc: Rockford, IL
Originally Posted By: Mattardo
I like the idea mentioned earlier in the thread, though - Piano Forum should open a "Looking for Love" Section! laugh Sections could include "Pianist looking for Pianist" or "Pianist looking for Violinist" and "Pianist looking to start Trio" (Ooh kinky!) or "Pianist looking for attractive Tuner willing to trade love for a well-voiced instrument"....Who's in charge of this place? blush


Have you seen this?

YouTube--Do You Want To Date My Avatar?

(Sorry about the commercial in front. The video is a hoot!)
_________________________
I may not be fast,
but at least I'm slow.

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#1424400 - 04/26/10 09:21 AM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Cinnamonbear]
Mattardo Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Registered: 02/11/08
Posts: 1306
Originally Posted By: Cinnamonbear
Originally Posted By: Mattardo
I like the idea mentioned earlier in the thread, though - Piano Forum should open a "Looking for Love" Section! laugh Sections could include "Pianist looking for Pianist" or "Pianist looking for Violinist" and "Pianist looking to start Trio" (Ooh kinky!) or "Pianist looking for attractive Tuner willing to trade love for a well-voiced instrument"....Who's in charge of this place? blush


Have you seen this?

YouTube--Do You Want To Date My Avatar?

(Sorry about the commercial in front. The video is a hoot!)


Now I have! Pretty funny!
I watched a few episodes of the original season some time ago.

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#1424692 - 04/26/10 06:01 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Rui725]
Nadia Offline
Full Member

Registered: 10/08/09
Posts: 24
Loc: Somerville, MA
Originally Posted By: Rui725
I dated this girl once, during a outing one night with her best friend and room mate, she asked everyone this question: "If there was one thing you would want someone you love do for you, what would it be." We all had a bunch of wine and I answered truthfully. I said, I would want that other person to attend a performance of Mahler's 5th with me.

+1 for Mahler 5! I love that music, and I can only hope that my future partner would too...
I have played a recording of the adagietto to several friends/boyfriends before and no one got it... I stopped doing it.

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#1424708 - 04/26/10 06:27 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Nadia]
Rui725 Offline
500 Post Club Member

Registered: 11/19/09
Posts: 953
Originally Posted By: Nadia
Originally Posted By: Rui725
I dated this girl once, during a outing one night with her best friend and room mate, she asked everyone this question: "If there was one thing you would want someone you love do for you, what would it be." We all had a bunch of wine and I answered truthfully. I said, I would want that other person to attend a performance of Mahler's 5th with me.

+1 for Mahler 5! I love that music, and I can only hope that my future partner would too...
I have played a recording of the adagietto to several friends/boyfriends before and no one got it... I stopped doing it.


I accidentally let it play once in the car when I picked the girl up after work, she asked, "what are you listening to??" sigh...oh well. I can't listen to the 4th movement everyday as I get into a melancholic stupor that is hard to snap out of.

Edit: I'm very careful on what kind of music is playing in the car as I know 95% of the girls I've given rides to did not like and/or understand my choice in music, that 5% who actually does belongs to my mom and sister. But I think I must have burned the 4th movement in a hip-hop CD by mistake LOL.


Edited by Rui725 (04/26/10 06:48 PM)

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#1424823 - 04/26/10 09:59 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Rui725]
carey Offline
6000 Post Club Member

Registered: 05/13/05
Posts: 6040
Loc: Phoenix, Arizona
Originally Posted By: Rui725
Originally Posted By: Nadia
Originally Posted By: Rui725
I dated this girl once, during a outing one night with her best friend and room mate, she asked everyone this question: "If there was one thing you would want someone you love do for you, what would it be." We all had a bunch of wine and I answered truthfully. I said, I would want that other person to attend a performance of Mahler's 5th with me.

+1 for Mahler 5! I love that music, and I can only hope that my future partner would too...
I have played a recording of the adagietto to several friends/boyfriends before and no one got it... I stopped doing it.


I accidentally let it play once in the car when I picked the girl up after work, she asked, "what are you listening to??" sigh...oh well. I can't listen to the 4th movement everyday as I get into a melancholic stupor that is hard to snap out of.

Edit: I'm very careful on what kind of music is playing in the car as I know 95% of the girls I've given rides to did not like and/or understand my choice in music, that 5% who actually does belongs to my mom and sister. But I think I must have burned the 4th movement in a hip-hop CD by mistake LOL.


They're riding in YOUR car - so whether they "like" or "understand" YOUR choice of music for a few minutes is really THEIR problem - not yours. You are who you are and you shouldn't have to make excuses for the type of music you listen to. If they can't accept that, then perhaps you need to find other friends. Sorry to be so blunt - but you're actually doing these folks a big favor by exposing them to classical music. Perhaps it will help them become a bit more tolerant of diverse musical tastes. smile

Three cheers for your Mom and sister !!
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YouTube channel - http://www.youtube.com/user/pianophilo

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#1424839 - 04/26/10 10:29 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: carey]
gooddog Offline
4000 Post Club Member

Registered: 06/08/08
Posts: 4669
Loc: Seattle area, WA
Originally Posted By: carey
They're riding in YOUR car - so whether they "like" or "understand" YOUR choice of music for a few minutes is really THEIR problem - not yours. You are who you are and you shouldn't have to make excuses for the type of music you listen to. If they can't accept that, then perhaps you need to find other friends.
Darn right! If you want a relationship you've got to be yourself right from the start. A relationship built on anything else will not survive and is not worth your time.
_________________________
Best regards,

Deborah

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#1424855 - 04/26/10 10:54 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Kreisler]
7yritch Offline
Full Member

Registered: 01/18/08
Posts: 89
Loc: Huntsville, Alabama, USA
Originally Posted By: Kreisler
I can think of a few very successful pianist couples:

Misha and Cipa Dichter

Elisabeth and Eugene Pridonoff

John and Nancy Weems

Alvin Chow and Angela Cheng


I also know of a few couples who didn't make it, which probably means that pianist couples are just like all the other couples in the world. Some make it, some don't.



I would include Valentina Lisitsa and Alexei Kuznetsoff. They are a pianist couple that seem to be doing well.
_________________________
Charles R. Walter, Model 1500 (Renner action), Satin Ebony

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#1424891 - 04/27/10 12:21 AM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Nadia]
Opus_Maximus Online   content
1000 Post Club Member

Registered: 11/27/04
Posts: 1458
I've only ever dated pianists; not that it was any sort of conscious decision on my part but simply because I'd happened to have been be around more pianists than anybody else and we would, naturally, have a lot of things in common to spark conversation.

Strangely enough, while we would definitely have our share of music/piano related conversations, it never became competitive because we just sort of left our professional obligations and concerns at out at sea when we were together.

When you spend your entire waking life dealing with music and musicians, it is very satisfying to escape that world and discover new ones together, so naturally we would see movies, take walks, discuss literature, travel, etc...and piano played a minor role..

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#1424909 - 04/27/10 12:53 AM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Opus_Maximus]
Andromaque Offline
3000 Post Club Member

Registered: 08/29/08
Posts: 3885
Loc: New York
Yes, but I cannot help wonder if competition could play a negative role should both partners have a similar goal, e.g. performance..
I don't know of examples in music specifically, but in science for example, I know of several women whose career was negatively impacted by childbirth and raising their family while their husbands remained on track. Obviously in some cases, it was a conscious choice, and that is fine. But more often, things are murkier and some resentment starts to brew.This can get particularly difficult if both spouses work in similar fields , or, even worse, at the same institution. The opposite is also true when a woman's career is moving forward and her husband is struggling..
I suppose a brilliant career in music performance is statistically unlikely enough, that the issue may not be arise all that often.

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#1424922 - 04/27/10 01:32 AM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Andromaque]
MarkH Offline
500 Post Club Member

Registered: 11/16/08
Posts: 828
Loc: Seattle, WA
I've never had a relationship with a girl who wasn't a musician or at least musically trained. Classical music is such a big part of my life, I need my daily dose, and if I don't hear any for several days (say on a camping trip), I feel its lack and really need to satisfy my urge despite the fact that I've been listening to plenty of it in my head the whole time. My exes have played the flute, oboe, viola, piano, percussion, and a couple were singers (but they weren't formally trained divas). My current girlfriend plays classical guitar. I think in addition to it being such a big part of my life, it's probably one of the activities in which I'm most likely to share intimacy with someone I don't know well. So obviously anyone who shares my interest or appreciates my music making is automatically on an intimate basis with me. Is it any surprise then that all my girlfriends have been musicians?

Concerning competition in the relationship, the pianist was kind of competitive with me. I think she felt threatened by my greater technical skill, and was rather critical of my inferior sight-reading skill to compensate. However, I attribute that much more to her insecure personality than our playing the same instrument, as there were plenty of other non-musical examples of her aggressive insecurity. No regrets though. You live and you learn - and my guitarist is a keeper smile
_________________________
Currently Studying: Bach - English Suite No. 5; Beethoven - Op. 27 No. 1; Chopin - Op. 27 No. 1; Chopin - 3rd Scherzo

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#1425423 - 04/27/10 06:00 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: carey]
Nadia Offline
Full Member

Registered: 10/08/09
Posts: 24
Loc: Somerville, MA
Originally Posted By: carey
You are who you are and you shouldn't have to make excuses for the type of music you listen to. If they can't accept that, then perhaps you need to find other friends. Sorry to be so blunt - but you're actually doing these folks a big favor by exposing them to classical music. Perhaps it will help them become a bit more tolerant of diverse musical tastes. smile

I think that might very well be the road to solitude and loneliness. It is not easy to find friends that adore Mahler 5, especially if your day job is not in the musical world, and we all know that being friends takes more than having one interest in common.

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#1425810 - 04/28/10 10:35 AM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Nadia]
izaldu Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Registered: 09/18/08
Posts: 1248
Loc:
My friends, my real friends, can t give a damn about what music i listen to or the books i read. They do find it a bit unusual but they are my mates, above all.
Same for the few serious girlfriends i' ve had. I can t see how having the same interets is necessary. Itmay help, maybe, but i can t see how it should be necessary.

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#1425907 - 04/28/10 12:54 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: izaldu]
Rui725 Offline
500 Post Club Member

Registered: 11/19/09
Posts: 953
Originally Posted By: izaldu
My friends, my real friends, can t give a damn about what music i listen to or the books i read. They do find it a bit unusual but they are my mates, above all.
Same for the few serious girlfriends i' ve had. I can t see how having the same interets is necessary. Itmay help, maybe, but i can t see how it should be necessary.


It's nice to talk about music, compare interpretations, or just listen to the same pieces over and over.

Not many people, especially those in there mid 20's (other than musicians) care to understand music on such a deep level. Seems like there minds are pre-occupied with one thing: Money.

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#1425930 - 04/28/10 01:24 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: izaldu]
BruceD Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Registered: 05/26/01
Posts: 17670
Loc: Victoria, BC
Originally Posted By: izaldu
My friends, my real friends, can t give a damn about what music i listen to or the books i read. They do find it a bit unusual but they are my mates, above all.
Same for the few serious girlfriends i' ve had. I can t see how having the same interets is necessary. Itmay help, maybe, but i can t see how it should be necessary.


I guess it depends upon how all-consuming the interests are when they become passions. If you are passionate about music to the point that it takes up much of your spare time and your thinking and your significant other has no interest, then I would have to ask on what your mutual attractions might be based. If your interest is only casual and passing, then I would think a mutual focus on that interest would be less significant, provided that there are other interests that are mutual.

I can't fathom a relationship built upon interests that neither individual shares. My last significant and close friend loves music but has no training and not much experience in listening to classical music. While she certainly enjoyed hearing me play, we could never engage in much talk about music in any depth. However, we both have a pretty strong interest in literature and that has been a continuous bond that has kept our friendship very much alive.

Regards,
_________________________
BruceD
- - - - -
Estonia 190 in satin ebony
Writing from Paris until 15 May, 2014

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#1426058 - 04/28/10 05:03 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: gooddog]
ChopinAddict Offline
6000 Post Club Member

Registered: 08/29/09
Posts: 6077
Loc: Land of the never-ending music
Originally Posted By: gooddog
Originally Posted By: carey
They're riding in YOUR car - so whether they "like" or "understand" YOUR choice of music for a few minutes is really THEIR problem - not yours. You are who you are and you shouldn't have to make excuses for the type of music you listen to. If they can't accept that, then perhaps you need to find other friends.
Darn right! If you want a relationship you've got to be yourself right from the start. A relationship built on anything else will not survive and is not worth your time.


When I was studying in Vienna I had a boyfriend who helped me move at some stage and he got rid of my classical music to replace it with crap because he said classical music made me depressed. I would have killed him!!!!!! mad cursing
I then made him buy me a new collection, but it was not the same and then we split altogether...
_________________________



Music is my best friend.


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#1426117 - 04/28/10 06:33 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Rui725]
Pogorelich. Offline
4000 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/28/08
Posts: 4491
Loc: in the past
Originally Posted By: Rui725
Originally Posted By: izaldu
My friends, my real friends, can t give a damn about what music i listen to or the books i read. They do find it a bit unusual but they are my mates, above all.
Same for the few serious girlfriends i' ve had. I can t see how having the same interets is necessary. Itmay help, maybe, but i can t see how it should be necessary.


It's nice to talk about music, compare interpretations, or just listen to the same pieces over and over.

Not many people, especially those in there mid 20's (other than musicians) care to understand music on such a deep level. Seems like there minds are pre-occupied with one thing: Money.


Another plus for going to a music school.. all my friends are in their 20s and are all musicians. It's awesome. There's nothing better than practicing 5-6 hours a day and going to the bar later with fellow musicians for drinks..
_________________________

'I want to invest my emotions only in music; it will never disappoint me or hurt me - it is a safe place to be.'

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#1426248 - 04/28/10 11:19 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Pogorelich.]
Rui725 Offline
500 Post Club Member

Registered: 11/19/09
Posts: 953
Happy hour after practice, oh my! Green with envy. Enjoy it!

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#1427871 - 05/01/10 03:32 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Rui725]
TheFool Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/13/10
Posts: 152
Girlfriend 1 : Liked nothing I played, found it inaccessible. Went so far as to say that Alberto De Ginastera was 'hideous'. (SACRILEGE!) Excepting, of course, a diabetically saccharine Einaudi I learned for a school grad. It ended. Thank GOD.

Girlfriend 2: Wonderful musician. Cello and piano, sight-read like you wouldn't believe and had the ears of a bat. Didn't understand the idea of taking turns at the piano. (Even on MY piano.) Thus. It ended.

Current girlfriend: Violinist, singer. Listened to my two pages of the Brahms Rhapsody in Gm and did a little dance of excitement. Subsequently made me go find my John Ogdon recording so we could listen to the full thing. :D:D:D

Stuff's chugging along, mostly because there's respect there for each other's musicality. I reckon that's more important than understanding; you're never going to find someone who has an exactly equivalent musical insight or sensibility to your own, so best you can hope for is someone who's appreciative of the differences.

My parents are like that; they work in very different fields (dance and theatre respectively) but they respect the other's work, even if they don't particularly gravitate to it themselves.
_________________________
"Nine? Too late."

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#1427925 - 05/01/10 05:39 PM Re: Pianists and relationships [Re: Pogorelich.]
Scrounger Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 04/23/10
Posts: 19
Loc: France
Nope, the closest I came was dating an amateur guitarist. He was from Morocco, I played the bass guitar with him and a few others. This is despite having spent a few years in music school, where I found most people to be stand-offish and overly competitive. They were more interested in how cool they were on the piano than trying to find significant others wink

I think I would frustrate any classical musician I would attempt to date now, as on one hand I like classical, but I also like death metal and experimental industrial music.
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