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#1376782 - 02/17/10 07:22 PM Idiot Sightings
Piano World Offline

Registered: 05/24/01
Posts: 5816
Loc: Parsonsfield, ME (orig. Nahant...


When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS

We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.

I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two.'

We haven't used Sears repair since.


My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

From Kingman , KS

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell
and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind
the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry,
but they only had iceburg lettuce..
-- From Kansas City

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded,
'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She was a probation officer inWichita , KS

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.
- Frank B.
Founder / Owner / Host
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#1381431 - 02/23/10 06:44 PM Re: Idiot Sightings [Re: Piano World]
Little_Blue_Engine Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Registered: 03/30/09
Posts: 1257
Loc: Ohio, US
My father owns rental property and once had a tenant ask him if he would install a deadbolt lock on the apartment door because the woman was worried about her daughter's safety since she sometimes forgets to lock the door. If she can't remember to lock the regular door lock, why would she remember the deadbolt lock?
I'll figure it out eventually.
Until then you may want to keep a safe distance.

#1413081 - 04/07/10 04:35 PM Re: Idiot Sightings [Re: Little_Blue_Engine]
MamaHenn Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 09/24/09
Posts: 19
Loc: Minnesota, USA
Before we built our house, we lived in a tiny cabin adjacent and had to use an outhouse for our sanitary needs. A friend came over and needed to use it. When she was finished, she came back into the cabin and said:

1) It's a good thing you're moving into your house, because your toilet is plugged. I couldn't find the flusher handle, and I'm probably not the only one.
2) I looked everywhere for a plunger but couldn't find one. I found a stick, but the pile wouldn't move.
3) Then I saw what your problem was: Somebody's been using newspaper for toilet paper!
4) I'd have tried to fix it, but it stunk in there.

She also thinks she has money as long as she has checks.

#1437732 - 05/16/10 11:06 AM Re: Idiot Sightings [Re: MamaHenn]
Damon Offline
6000 Post Club Member

Registered: 09/22/06
Posts: 6422
Loc: St. Louis area
I know a woman who thought the cardinals voted for a new Pope...THE BASEBALL CARDINALS! When confronted with her idiocy she said, "I'm not stupid, I just thought they were going over there to play a game and cheer them up" (Pope John Paul had just died).
Horowitz was awesome!


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