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Edit: Bruce you beat me to it!!!

What I don't understand and is keeping me awake tonight is why the fingering is 2. It is MIDDLE C, it is in the MIDDLE of the measure, in the MIDDLE between the treble and the bass staves, it is in 1/2 time, which in a way means MIDDLE, so why not use the MIDDLE finger (3)? May I? Please.... Also (but this is arbitrary) I think I would like to add an mp at the end.
That index finger (2) is like pointing at me in accusation...

I thought D'oh was spelled Duh by the way....

Edit: Maybe the composer used that old fingering where the thumb is X and the middle finger is 2.

Yes. I've pasted the score below. I've tried to remain as true to the original as possible:

Thank you to the OP and everyone who responded to this thread, which I have bookmarked. You all brought the biggest smile to my face!

The term "Easy Piece" is completely misleading. The polyphonic structure that dominates the piece is hard to bring across properly as an interpreter. It is only easy at first blush until one gets drawn into its complex setup. I practiced this for a couple of hours now but haven't made any substantial progress so far. I can sightread through it though at half speed but cannot bring it up to full speed yet.

Let's see all those 5 year-old prodigies on youtube try this one!!!

1. I have a 1930's spinet. Would buying a Hamburg Steinway or Fazzyholy make the song sound more beautiful?
Sound is also made by you. You control the sound. If you Make a bad piano sound great, you can make a steinway sound amazing

2. I have tried several fingerings and even looked at several other editions, but none seem convenient. Any suggestions?
Fingerings for what? The cadenzas? Sometimes you must live with it, practise them and suddenly they seem easy.

3. Fatigue is also a problem. What should I do to build up stamina?
All scales 4 octaves every key, major minor melodic, harmonic. Start slow, build up speed. Thats what i did. After youve mastered it try the same with octaves.

4. I've tried praciticng in rhythms, very slowly and hands separately. Any other suggestions for overcoming the technical hurdles?
Practice slowly, pull your fingers really high. I bet your talking bout the fast decending sequence. Its quite hard.

5. Would this be a suitable piece for a conservatory audition?
I think so if you pull it off flawlessly

6. How does this piece compare to the Fantasie Impromptu song in terms of difficulty?
Diff technique. Both hard

7. How much rubato would you recommend using?
How much salt you like? Quite a bit, not to much

8. Should I use drop and flop or flop and drop on this song? I haven't finished Matthay's book yet.
Dont know what that is

9. How would you rate my progress considering I've only played for one year?
Depends how your playing it. Your ability is IMO is how you play things. Put videos so we can watch.
I could prob play a rach concerto, does that mean i can play it well? no.

Hope it helps.

Kreisler, since you are obviously such a gifted musician, can you please compose a set of variations on this theme? I'm sure we all will enjoy them!

i suggest learning alkans concerto for solo piano or le preux those are the hardest songs first to build up stamina. or some mereauxes etudes their very good musical works and more people should learn them.

are you compete in a competition with this piece?

*sigh* Oh dear, I guess I'll have to wait another 15years before I can even begin this piece. I guess by 30 I'll have enought experience to interpret this correctly.

Polytonality as well!! The flutes, strings, piano, bassoon and low brass in C major.....the clarinets in B flat major, the horns in F, the various instruments in E flat...ALL AT THE SAME TIME!. Certainly a bold work in terms of harmonic language as well.

speaking of harmonies, could someone please provide a complete harmonic analysis? I'm stuck here, I am afraid.

Euphonatrix, I tried to do a Schenker analysis but got stuck at the first note!

I agree! But I have to admit now that the fingering for the piano part is gone altogether in the orchestra arrangement, this piece is far beyond my current abilities.

Maybe it can be "improved" upon? Toss in some notes and fingerings to make it better than the composer's original conception?

I do believe that this is something our own friendly moderator wrote as a joke or something...I recall seeing this before in that context.

Or maybe it could be played on the organ. I was once told by an organist the organ is played with both hands and feet, and once this person told me she played a piece exclusively with her feet. I don't play the real organ, so I don't know how this works, I only play it with my DP, BUT it could solve the problem of the fingering (2 or 3?) if it could be played with the foot.
On the other hand, the composer indicated very clearly "senza pedale".

Mmm,

Atonal music it seems. I don't like it.

I think the perfect name for it, as I said in another thread, is Alpha and Omega. It also gives it a hint of immortality.

This is clearly a tribute to John Cage, but I still think I prefer 4'33". I mean, really, the emotional content of this Kreisler piece is really quite overdone.