Is that the correct link, all I get is a Cretin with a 1950's haircut making a mindless racket?



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Gosh, who would have guessed that there was still room in the world for one more rickroll.

Ha ha, I get it.

Your all idiots as "I'm" the one who devised the fastest way to play piano. It's a bit unorthodox but here's how to do it; step by step:

Step (1.) Go on a carb-free diet for 30 days. This should allow for significant weight loss and make some of your looser clothes feel almost baggy.

Step (2.) Go out and find a 5 year old Asian piano prodigy (fairly common) and kidnap the kid.

Step (3.) While wearing your now loosely fitting clothes, take the Asian piano kid and stuff him inside your shirt as there should be ample room at this point. NOTE: Shirt MUST be long sleeved and an outer vest/sweater is also reccommended.

Step (4.) Carefully align your arms at your side while the stuffed inside your shirt Asian piano kid puts his arms through your sleeve openings. NOTE: An extra long *short* sleeved shirt may work out best or a very short long sleeved shirt will do. (You don't want anyone catching on what you are doing by appearing with Terranus saurus rex like arms!).

Step (5.) Tell the stuffed inside your shirt Asian piano prodigy kid to perform his best piece and keep quiet....OR ELSE!

Step (6.) After your incredible performance to your newly adorning audience, simply acknowlege the crowds cheers by smiling and waving but no matter what, DON'T GET UP as all kinds of bad things can happen should the asian kid fall out of your pants right in front of everyone......... Try explaining that one!

Step (7.) Once the performance is over, remove said kid from within your clothes and give him 5 bucks along with some candy. At this point, everything should be fine and the kid won't really even know what happened plus his story will be too unbelievable anyway.

That's it! guarranteed to work every time and what better (faster) way to become a piano virtuoso without really even doing anything...(minus a little petty kidnapping of course).

The way I see it, why pay for some uber-lame online piano course that defies all forms of common sense when you can use my completely free "snatch-a-kid" and perform piano method. It's the "fastest" way to perform and impress your friends while doing almost nothing.

What's not to love???

Thanks, hunk. You gave me a big belly laugh on that one.
Mike

Thanks. BTW, shouldn't someone be hassling me to place an ad for this?

Haha on the Asian kid and the Amway comment!

Can some moderator please, just delete the links to the blog and allow the rest of us to keep having fun?

@Hunky: Great advice! I still have one question: how do I tell the piano prodigies apart from those little asian karate prodigies (quite as common if movies are an indicator)?

Well that's easy. The little piano prodigy kids are usually well groomed, polite and well behaved.

The little karate kids are a raucous bunch in need of energy release. They are taught to have high regard for discipline, self confidence and respect but somehow they'll find a way to end up kicking you in the biscuits anyway! I mean seriously, have you ever seen any Chuck Norris movies/Texas Ranger in which he didn't end up opening a can of whoop-ass?

Aww come on - this thread called for it...



True. But then again Chuck Norris plays Rachmaninov concertos blindfolded with his hands tied to his back, while still being able to beat the crap out of you between measures.

When you merge the well-groomed polite kids studying music with the raucous self-confident kids doing martial arts, you get the latest Disney Channel mini-stars.

SH, I may have missed it but do you have a name for your fascinating program? Also, would I get into any trouble kidnapping a "little piano prodigy"?

I would probably have more luck with your program than I'm having with the "think method". I keep thinking I can play Chopin's Ballad #1 but all I play is noise. I've been had!

Hi Peyton. No, I don't really have an "official" name yet so for now let's just call it what it really is. Kidnapping!

Sure. you may get in some trouble if you get caught....so don't! Besides, if you did get busted, pleading insanity might actually work!


You know, call me nutz but it sure seems that all these "get rich quick" types of piano schemes never pan out. How 'bout just practice and get better just like in anything else?