Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Piano Teachers Forum Would this be professional or smack of "stealing" a student?

A parent e-mailed me asking for lessons for his two sons (ages 5 and 6). One is already in lessons with someone else (less than a year). They have friends at my studio...and found out about me through their friend.

This puts me in an awkward situation. Yet I had one child transfer out to be in a studio with their friend.

Anything wrong with accepting a transfer like this?

This brings up for me questions about what are legitimate reasons to transfer. If they are only looking to save $5 per month, then that doesn't sit well with me. If they are looking for convenient lesson time then that I think is legitimate.

This person may just be looking, not all that serious. I'm guessing that they want their 5 year old in lessons, and the current teacher wants them to wait till age 6. Just a guess.

For now I have answered the questions put to me in the e-mail, and asked the name of their current teacher and what method they are using.

Any advice?

I would wait until you find out how serious they are. People switch teachers for many reasons and you may be a better fit for this student. Or you may have space. I had a student transfer to me because their old teacher only taught group lessons, not private.

Thanks Stanny. As soon as I got the e-mail I started feeling guilty. (But I did not seek this transfer.) For all I know the current teacher may be overloaded with students. I know several who have very full studios.

I'll wait. They may not be serious. And my asking who their current teacher is may have already scared them away. (If they're casually shopping for another teacher they won't want the current one to know I suppose.)

If anything comes of this inquiry, I'll get the opportunity to participate professionally in the transfer as we discussed in an earlier thread when I had someone transfer out. Now I understand how that teacher felt. First thing she had said when I called was "I do not steal students".

To me, there's not even the slightest question. They made the overture to you. You've never even met them or the children involved. How could anyone possibly accuse you of "stealing" them?

If anything, I'd be more bothered if you were to reply something like "since you are already in lessons with somebody else, I must refuse to have anything to do with you," because that smacks of denying the family their autonomy to choose whomever they want as a teacher.

Ann:

Maintain a professional relationship with this other teacher. Communicate with her and let her know what's going on. Most colleagues turn out to be completely okay with transfers, for reasons like cheaper tuition, shorter drive, and other reasons.

You never want to be accused of stealing students. Don't give people any reason to do that.

I am with Monica K on this. They sought you out. People change teachers for many reasons, which was also stated. If a parent feels their child may do better with someone else, let them change. Teachers have different techniques, expectations, mannerisms ect... perhaps that child and teacher just don't 'jel'. As long as you did not seek them out, there is nothing to feel guilty about!

I'm with Monica.

Parents can contact anybody they want, whenever they want, for any reason.

I don't believe in "stealing" students. Students are NOT owned by their teachers.

It actually bothers me a lot when teachers whine about having their students "stolen." It's called CAPITALISM. You earn people's business by offering a superior service at a price determined by your local market.

I'd even be on Ann's side if she had solicited the student. DirecTV didn't have to ask Mediacom if they could offer me television service. It's called Marketing.

So would it be okay if a teacher makes a bunch of flyers and puts them on cars' windshields in the parking lots of local "music schools"???

And would it be okay to approach students and parents after public, branch recitals and tell them what a lousy job their teachers are doing???

Part of being a member of a professional association is knowing where to draw the line.

What does professional mean?

No on both counts. I don't think you can distribute flyers on private property. McDonald's can't just stick a sign in Burger King's front yard. And the second case is also grounds for libel/slander. McDonald's can't run an advertisement saying Burger King's hamburgers taste bad.

Obviously, illegal business practices are not ok. I'm talking about perfectly legal business practices. Flyers on doorknobs? Sure! Going through proper channels at local schools? Of course! Direct mail campaigns? Go for it!

I changed teacher while still studying with another teacher, I let the new teacher know that, and I also talked to my old teacher about thinking about a change and taking a fresh look at music with another teacher. My old teacher hated the idea, but I felt like I wasn't growing as a student, and I also felt like that old teacher had different outlooks and goals that didn't line up with mine. We eventually left on not so good terms, things really got out of hand when I started to argue with him during lessons. It doesn't sound nice, it isn't nice at all, that last teacher also had many family issues that I felt like I should have had no involvement in that.

As the others have said, people change teachers for all different reasons. It would have been nice to leave on good terms and also would have been nice if my new teacher could have communicated with my old teacher, it would certainly clarify a lot of misunderstanding with my technique and approach to things.

I agree with the others, - the client approached you. If and when they become your students then you can contact the other teacher as a courtesy.

Your point about them wanting to save 5 dollars is an interesting one. While you are thinking your rate might be lower and they don't really care about the teacher, I can think of perfectly unoffensive reasons for someone seriously needing to watch every penny, and still be really reluctant to give up piano lessons.

I really enjoy reading your posts, I think you are full of great ideas and a have profound love for your work, and genuinely care about your students. Sometimes though, I think you try to figure everything out prematurely. Try not to make yourself crazy with these questions.
I feel like I can hear your brain whirling all the way across the ocean! Know your worth, and don't sell yourself short - but don't waste your precious energy trying to second guess the motivations of other people.

Ha Ha! How well you know me! You're right. No need to second guess other's motivations. For some reason I am very uncomfortable with loose ends...and I try to figure things out ahead of time. I have to take one day at a time and see what happens...and stop trying to figure it all out.

I really like this point, Monica. I will often be approached about lessons from people who currently study with others, and the first time it happened I immediately thought, "This teacher is a good friend of mine, I can't take their student!" But then I realized that students have the right to study with whomever they wish, and as long as lessons with the previous teacher are ended respectfully, there is nothing wrong with agreeing to teach that student.

Being a student of someone doesn't equate to being married to them!

Thank you all for your posts. It helped me to sort throught this. What it boils down to for me is that I would not want to cause another teacher distress. And by accepting a transfer I may not know if the other teacher is distressed.

I started teaching without ever intending to do harm to someone else. But the nature of being in business is that someone may choose my service and the result is that someone else does not get the business. So I am now accepting that I do not need to apologize to anyone for being in business. I have a right to be in business as everyone else does. I don't have to take responsibility for someone else's feelings...(or what I think my feelings would be in their situation).

Thank you for walking through this with me.

Nor do you have to apologize for being such an excellent teacher that your students are recommending you to their friends.

Thanks for the support Monica!

As a parent, I too concur with Monica that you are not stealing and in many ways it's not your call to ethically assess a families reasons for switching (within reason).

However, piano teachers are not big box retailers or million subscriber content providers. A certain amount of "professionalism" (and to keystring, while the precise definition of a "professional" might be hard to nail down, I think those who are "professionals" generally know that they are) I think is a good thing. I think that while Ann's initial thinking was perhaps a bit to heavily weighted toward one end of the spectrum, it's important that folks don't end up to far on the other (e.g. DirecTV) end either. Piano teaching is a very localized occupation within a fairly small community, playing "civilly" would probably be best for most participants.

I have actually had this said to me, practically verbatim, when I was seeking a new teacher for my son (probably 10 years ago or so.) It seems to be the way things are done around here. I did find it mildly insulting and disconcerting.

I could see how it would be a problem -- what if I quit my kid's current teacher, and then couldn't find anyone else with an opening, or anyone I thought would be better? But I had already decided that my kid would quit at the end of summer, and had already given notice, so it wasn't an issue for me.

The way it was explained to me was that it was similar to the way real estate works around here. I have a contract to sell my house with one realtor. During that time, other agents may bring clients to see my home, and will probably leave business cards on the counter when they do. But they are not allowed to directly approach me and say, "When your contract is up with this person, give me a call. I can do better." And to avoid any appearance of breaking code, if I approach them, they will simply say, "Call me when your current contract is up."

I am not part of the local association, but I do try to avoid making them mad. I have had several students sent my way by other teachers who felt that I would be a better fit, and vice versa. I have also had a couple students come to me from other teachers in less clear situations. In one case, the student was taking group lessons elsewhere, and I asked the mom to check with the group teacher to make sure I wasn't stepping on any toes by taking her on as a private teacher; it was fine. But in each case, it was the student coming to me, not me going after the student.

I guess I'm like Ann in that I want to maintain a good relationship with other teachers in the area, so am probably more cautious than I need to be.