In a few minutes I am meeting a new student (5 1/2 yrs old) and mother for an interview/trial lesson. Regardless of how well prepared I am with studio documents, method books, and cleaned up my living room, I still find that I get nervous during the hours leading up to the interview.

So much depends on the first meeting - whether or not I communicate my expectations clearly without sounding too strict, or not strict enough, and deliver a professional image, and communicate the importance of parental involvement... I always feel like so much is at stake that if I neglect to mention something important, it could make things more complicated down the road, even if I have business policies spelled out clearly.

This one may be different, though. This is the first parent that has contacted me from my new website, rather than being referred to by a friend. My teaching philosophy and expectations and prices are all include on the website, so hopefully this match will work better than others have in the past.


Anyone else out there still get nervous for interviews or first meetings? Is it ever something that can be outgrown?

Hmm, some people won't like you and others will love you just as you are. There are so many different kinds of people out there that there's no way to know if you will be compatible. Why be nervous or worried about if they will like you or not?

Don't try to be everything to everybody - it is impossible and you will only be second guessing yourself all the time. Instead, simply be you and let the chips fall where they may. Yes, there's a certain amount of adjustments you make with students to accommodate their strengths and weaknesses. But in the end, they have to like *you* too.

I haven't ever taught formally, so I guess I'm the wrong person to give advice. I will start in a few weeks though!

In saying all of this, taking a general stance on emotions, namely anxiety and more specifically nervousness as you have very well articulated, it sounds like you are doing the right things to PREPARE yourself, cleaning the house, organizing things - the lesson, assessment, your policies and perhaps even rehearsing things. It sounds like you have had quite some experience in teaching as well, since your topic is "I STILL get nervous."

I think there is nothing wrong with getting nervous, it is something natural and it also indicates that you really do care about what other parents may think of you. You care about what sort of impression you leave with other people, you care about what the student may think of you.

Perhaps your level of apprehension is frustrating you as you feel as though you can't focus on the interactions between potential clients, or put it this way, you feel like you can't think clearly since you analyse the situation, perhaps spend a lot of the time self talking, wondering what the parents think and what the child may think. Would I be right in saying this?

When you get nervous, do you do anything about it? Like try to relax hours before you see the parent,you could do something that physically is relaxing like taking a walk, going for a bubble bath, having a massage, listening to music - perhaps a few nocturnes, playing music, having a cup of tea, trying to breathe and focus on your breath. These activities are used extensively with performers, athletes, speakers, - jobs that involve a lot of nerves! These techniques get your PHYSICAL self relaxed and also your MENTAL self relaxed (if you try to focus on the activity).

If you can't do that, as you are busy, which is understandable, I'm sure you have many students in between, perhaps you can have five or ten minutes to yourself, let yourself have a nice hot cup of coco or tea and listen to some music at the same time, some like to use fragrances, what ever floats your boat.

Now, to get yourself mentally prepared, it appears you have already done a lot of preparation and you should really commend yourself with that. I'm a little strange, but if I am meeting somebody for the first time, or have an interview, I like to speak to myself and rehearse a bit to ease the nerves so I don't feel so surprised, this may or may not work for you, you can try it if you wish.

Perhaps you can try to challenge the thought, a technique that many clinical psychologists use is CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). This involves challenging a situation, in this situation, think about it, what is the worst thing that could ever happen? The parent deciding that you aren't the right teacher perhaps? Is that something worth getting angry about, worth getting extremely anxious about? I'm sure you lose students from time to time, and I'm sure you also know that you aren't always the perfect fit for all parents and children, perhaps you can see that the student didn't suit you. A parent thinking that you aren't the right teacher isn't the end of the world. Thinking like that and knowing that the worst of the situation isn't that bad, and I'm sure your life experiences confirm this, should hopefully ease the nervousness. In saying all of this, I am NOT advocating that you suppress your nervous feelings and not acknowledge them, this won't assist your nervousness, rather, if you acknowledged it and then realised that the outcome isn't completely bleak then that is a better way to deal with it.

You have come to this forum to vent a little I guess, and more than this to see if your colleagues feel nervous themselves, this is great! This is a domain where you can unload your stresses and nervousness, and to perhaps feel some normality and assurance that you are not alone. Maybe you might want to talk to your colleagues, over coffee or over the phone perhaps to get are more interactive and responsive experience.

I hope this helps.

Rebekah

I get a little nervous in those new student interviews too. Let us know how your meeting went!

Yes, I get a little nervous too prior to interviews. But I even get a little nervous as I await young beginner's arrival for lessons. It happens with the young beginners when they are the first evening lesson scheduled. (I'm never nervous at all about arrival of adults or older students.) It's not that I'm worried, but just my nature to get anxious. Just ready to get on with things and not wait I suppose. And I know I am under parental scrutiny with the young beginners...I guess it's dealing with parents that has me nervous. Yet it always works out fine.

About 10 minutes prior to first student's arrival, I keep busy with simple tasks like putting away dishes, since I cannot just sit and wait calmly.

The interview went great last night! It always seems to go well, even when I get nervous beforehand. As soon as I see the faces of the mother/student, I relax a bit and we always have a nice and pleasant chat. I never worry that they won't like me or anything; just simply worry that I'll neglect to communicate something to them about my policies or expectations.

After the interview I went to the gym and while I was working out remembered several things I should have mentioned. The mother emailed me this morning saying how the daughter (5 yrs old) loved the trial lesson and she's very eager to start. She then asked for clarification in regard to attendance and swap list, which made me realize I hadn't spelled it out for her. I simply give her my two-page policy and told her to ask if she has any questions. Maybe I should read every word to them at the trial lesson - but I don't want to insult the parent's intelligence. I'm glad she asked for clarification, so a misunderstanding didn't arise a couple months down the road.

I find that I get more nervous if I have time on my hands. For other interviews, if they come during my teaching hours, on the tail end of another student's lesson, I don't have time to worry or overly think about it. Yes, I played the piano quite a bit before they came last night, and that seems to relax me pretty well; and deep breathing always helps too.

Perhaps what I need to start doing is coming up with a list of all the things I offer students (such as magazine, recording their own CDs, etc) so that will take the pressure off of trying to remember everything at the right moment. That's the stressful part for me - not necessarily meeting new people.

I've got another interview scheduled for Friday, although it's people I already know. I might make out a list, although I don't foresee myself being very nervous for this one. (I did hear, however, that this transfer student is in PA lesson 3B and hasn't gone out of any technique or theory books. Horror! So some good communication on my part regarding the necessity of a well-rounded piano education will be important!)

Anyway, thanks all for listening to me vent and offering support!

The plan to prepare a list of all the things you offer students sounds like a good idea. It could be an additional sheet that you go over during the interview along with your policies.

As far as a transfer in PA 3B, at least you know what they've covered (planned progressive lessons enabling solid foundation in technique, theory and reading). With no venturing outside the method series, you know this student has not played in festivals...since there are required works outside of a method seris.

I had an interview last week with a 12 year old who said he hadn't played piano for a couple of years, He brought "Practical Theory" and a scales & arepeggios book. Otherwise he just had photocopies of Fur Elise. (No repertoire books.) I had no idea what had come before Fur Elise. I suspected he had just had one photocopy after another of music the teacher had given him. He suffered through playing the first few lines and I told him that was enough. He said he's forgotten what he learned but implied that it would not take him long to relearn.

It's probable that he was truly an intermediate student. If he could play Fur Elise well, then he would be. But we've all heard kids botch up Fur Elise and really lack the groundwork it takes. So far I'm just beginning to have students enter intermediate this year. I told the boy and parents that he needs a teacher with experience teaching intermediate students (not me).

Also I showed him some early intermediate pieces and asked if it looks too easy for him. He said he could "learn that in a day". So I took him at his word.

OTOH if he had come to me in PA 3B, I would have accepted him as a new student.

After 22 years of college teaching, I *still* get nervous in the minutes right before the first lecture in the fall semester. Knowing that this will happen, and knowing that I will get through that first lecture just fine, helps me cope. It's normal to be nervous. Just make a conscious effort to smile a lot, and you'll be fine.

--Monica, who will now nervously leave to go copy her syllabus for the first day of class tomorrow....

Haha! Thanks, Monica, That makes me feel a little better if you still get nervous after teaching for 22 years. Hope the first lecture goes well.

Good point, Ann, about knowing what has been covered. I am very familiar with PA and so that will help immensely. But who knows if the teacher taught the pieces individually, or the concepts that tie them together... That must be quite a headache to get a transfer with just copied sheet music. I don't know if I'd want to put myself through that!

I love reading about this. Yesterday I had my first two lessons of the fall. I spent the day getting my house ready (I was at the tail end of a massive reorganization of all my music) and writing down a plan for each student. One of the students was new, so I wanted to be really prepared. I noticed that today, with 2 more students, I did almost nothing to prepare. Hmmmm getting into the routine all ready! But yes when interviewing a new family I definitely get nervous and put on my 'piano teacher' persona which always takes a little mental prepping. I'm always surprised how well it goes. Sometimes I think it's really all about personality. If we match, fine, if not, that's fine too.

Just remember that the new student is probably far more nervous about meeting you ! If you focus on putting the new student and parent at ease (and not on yourself), that will probably help your nervousness too!

Sophia

After 25 years, I do not get nervous. I guess something happens to you between year 22 and year 25.