My son is playing the solo from Meditation from Thais (OK...he's a violinist not a pianist, but I figure someone here would have a good idea about this anyway.) with an orchestra next week and I'm wondering what to give him afterwards. If he were a girl, I'd definitely go with flowers, but I really don't think he cares anything about them. Any ideas? He's 15, by the way. Would a book of sheet music he's been wanting work?

Thanks for any help you can give me!

Laura

A baseball?

my son would give the flowers I gave him (if I did) back to me.

Sheet music would be fantastic or a gift certificate to the music store. I think it would be hard to tell whether or not he would appreciate flowers.

He doesn't like baseball either.

I think the sheet music would be good but I'd try to see if I could think of something else that would be a little more "fun."

I'd say for sure that you shouldn't do flowers.

There's really nothing wrong with flowers - just maybe not red roses. I've been to several piano recitals given by male pianists in the past year, and each time a pretty girl has come on stage to give the pianist a bunch of flowers, and in turn the pianist has given the girl a peck on the cheek (three pecks if the pianist is French...).

It's all about equality of sexes these days. Giving a male soloist a baseball on stage is a total no-no. (Off stage, yes!).

Sheet music sounds great to me ! maybe a new CD of something inspiring ?? (depends what he's listening to..)

Yes -- IMO that's a few steps better than sheet music.

Wrap the sheetmusic nice and fancy, so it will be pretty like flowers, but it won't be flowers...

How wonderful that you son will be participating and deserving of a praise of flowers, music, or a CD.

There is nothing like a flower bouquet as it is what is the history of rewards. Tuck in a piece of music or a CD and it becomes a 'forever gift'!

I wouldn't get flowers, at 15 he'd be so embarrassed..

Get him something he's been wanting for a while! Or maybe even a gift card to a music shop - so he can get anything he wants?

Funny that some people think flowers would be fine.....I'm with Pogo.

It wouldn't definitely be that bad, but it's "high risk."

Thank you for all of the replies so far! It's very helpful to me and is giving me lots to think about.

I'd already pretty much decided not to give him flowers. Even though he has no problem performing in front of lots of people, he's basically shy and doesn't like a big fuss. I think whatever I give him will be given in private afterwards.

So far I'm leaning towards a CD, prettily wrapped, if I can figure out what he would like; otherwise the gift certificate.

Laura

Until your last post, I wasn't sure whether you were asking what to present him, on stage, following the performance or what to give him as an acknowledgment gift after the event.

It seems more common in Europe to present flowers to male performers, but even that is usually after a solo recital.

Since this appears to be an after-concert gift, you're probably now on the right track.

Regards,

I wasn't either, and in fact I was thinking more likely it was "on stage" even though she said "afterwards."

Other suggestions....a big box of chocolates? Some men's cologne? Wrapped elaborately of course.

15 years old ? Pay him a visit to a house of ill repute !

Your comment is neither funny nor in good taste

15 years old ? Get him a bottle of vodka and a copy of Playboy magazine.

it has been a custom to provide the soloist with flowers, I'm always glad to recieve them, your son should also be, it's part of the podium-experience!

Tweedpipe - I'm sure the kid's Mom (the OP) will be happy to do that !!

I agree with dolce, its part of the whole thing.

Dolce -

Customs are a tad different on this side of the Atlantic !!

You Nederlanders are just trying to boost flower sales.

True. Give the kid a six-shooter !

it all depends on local custom, ours are old indeed, but cherished.

i got once flower but it was from a female teacher... it wasnt awkward but if it had been from a male teacher it would certainly...

True ... but that thought also crossed my mind.

Over here a bouquet after the concert is given to every performer, it's just what's done.

A perfect gift is a gift certificate.

If it was my son in question, I'd prefer that he spend his time in a house of ill repute than getting sloshed by himself with a Playboy magazine.

I'm not so sure about that. I've been given flowers several times after performances, but then none of those were when I was 15.

How about an iTunes gift card?

My grand-daughters that age always appreciate one.

Crit

Give him a first prize!

Yes, a rifle (to old for a bb gun), perfect!

Take him out to a nice restaurant after the performance and have a toast to his future successes!

+1


.....and that likewise.
One of our members is asking seriously for help about a simple and innocent thing about her son.

(Hey Carey -- you mean you like that post fine?)

+1

Sorry Mark - I don't know what you are referring to....

Hmm...well, you could give him chocolate? When my friend won a concerto competition and performed with orchestra the conductor gave the girls who performed flowers and the guys who performed chocolate.

Take a look at that whole post.
The first part was where I agreed with your negative comment about someone else's post.

Then I said I felt likewise about another one (i.e. the other post that I quoted there) -- and was surprised to see that you apparently hadn't minded that other one.

See, it's not that hard.
(It was all up there.)

This is what we do! Today I took my 10 year old to a coffee shop for nailing a Kabalevsky Etude. It was a special recital for handicapped adults that was given by volunteer students and staff at our music school (hence - mid day on a week day!). For a bigger event, we might go to the restaurant of his choosing.

Have fun!

Mark - as you can see above....I wasn't nuts about Tweedpipe's suggestion either

Yes -- but for all the world (I think), that looks like an approving reply!
At least I thought so -- and on second look (actually 3rd or 4th, because I did a double-take at it before), it still appears that way to me.

That's where we got off the track....

Wow. Are presents always given at recitals? I've never had any, besides tons and tons of flowers at one recital in Europe.

Mark -

Perhaps I should have said something like ..."How can you be so insensitive as to assume that the kid's Mom (the OP) would be willing to do that?"

Instead I chose to make my point sarcastically ...."I'm sure the kid's Mom (the OP) will be happy to do that."

Perhaps the happy face threw you.

Either way - the original comment was inappropriate.

As far as flowers, I would be perfectly fine with them as in my area it's a normal thing to get. Typically they are in the form of a lei, which many people tend to present to the person being honored. If you have ever attended a high school graduation in Hawaii, you'd see what I mean. After a recital or other performance, I wouldn't mind a bouquet (especially if given by a cute girl). That all said, I am older than your son by about 6 years, so things do change in that time.

I probably would have taken it the same way even without it, but that "clinched" it.
Wrongly, as it turned out.

Derrrrrrrrrrrrrailed!

Give him a "Guitar Hero". It is a heckuva lot easier to learn than the fiddle and a lot more social when played together with peers. All the time he is spending now in becoming a poised and accomplished performer through disciplined practice in meditation with the masters he could instead use banging on buttons in your basement with relaxed boys and girls from school.

Seriously, it sounds like you have already given him one of the best gifts you possibly could have.

I've got an idea ...... ask him what he would like.

Why didn't I think of this sooner?

Much to learn, you still have, young apprentice.

I agree with others that flowers are problematical for a lad of 15.

The question reminds me of a concert I attended some years ago where Valery Gergiev conducted (as the final work) Shostakovich's Symphony No 7.

During the applause a young woman walked down the aisle of the concert hall (the Royal Festival Hall in London) with a bouquet of flowers for Gergiev. When she got near the platform Gergiev took no notice, so she left them on the edge of the stage.

Gergiev totally ignored the flowers.

I felt so bad for the young woman (who looked nervous and very self conscious) and so angry with Gergiev for behaving so ungraciously, even rudely. Flowers might have offended his machismo but still... That incident tarnished my image of Gergiev ever after.

He probably didn't see the flowers. Why would he refuse them?

I'd go with the chocolates, as mentioned above or another treat i he doesn't like chocolate.

BUT NO FLOWERS!

The flowers are starting to sound a lot better, compared to the other suggestions.

A fifteen-year-old is embarrassed by anything. That's really nothing new for them. So go ahead; it's all in how it's handled. Accepting the thanks of the audience graciously is part of learning to be a performer. Fifteen-year-old guys do enjoy attention and acknowledgment, even if it is slightly embarrassing.

However, gifts like a visit to a whorehouse, a bottle of liquor, a rifle, sexually-explicit materials--- at fifteen, and on-stage, no less--- sound like trouble for the kid and possibly some legal trouble for the donor.

The chocolates might sound less outright incendiary... but if you could see my little niece's teeth and figure, you might think again.

I like the idea of including a gift card, maybe to a large bookstore which carries CDs, books, and which can even order scores. But, if you know what book or score to get, that would make an even better thank-you present. Personally, there are things like collections of the complete piano works of favorite composers or performers that I wouldn't mind getting. It would be a bonus if the score of the complete works (in a nice edition) came along with it. It helps to suggest a goal both for future performances as well as for the personal music library.

Thank you to all of those who had serious suggestions about how I could acknowledge my son's achievement. I have never before given him a gift at any performance, but playing such a big solo with a full orchestra is a very special occasion, imho.

I also appreciate the warm comments, especially from lilylady and theJourney, expressing the joy of this occasion. Thanks, too, to those who objected to the offensive responses to my question. (My son would have been mortified to have read those suggestions, even though I know they were only in jest.)

I did drop the orchestra conductor a note asking about flowers and such and her response was that boys only get flowers in Europe. She suggested that if I waned to do something publicly, I could hand him a single rose and attached gift card from the edge of the stage.

Laura

Laura, speaking in serious, I suggest that you not give your son a gift publicly.

Normally the organizers will give flowers or something, it is a gesture of thanks towards an artist on behalf of the public and the organizers. Your gesture is a personal one, a lovely gesture perhaps but a personal one and it's place is not on the stage.

+1

"I did drop the orchestra conductor a note asking about flowers and such and her response was that boys only get flowers in Europe... "

I guess that's fine for her to say, but I have seen the contrary with my own eyes at our local concert series. All the performers received flowers. All the performances were in America. Garrick Ohlsson was given his before his encores, and had some trouble figuring out what to do with them (and he should have gotten a much nicer bouquet for that concert).

But you know your son, and you should do what you think he would like best.

Honestly I do not know what the deal is if you give your son flowers? I think it is a wonderful idea! All the great pianists in the world receive bouquets of thousands of flowers after they have performed marvelously and beautifully.

I think to send flowers to someone is genderless and has nothing to do with either being a boy or a girl. It is wonderful, it is beautiful and it shows and speaks out affection, admiration and love without the necessity of using one single word.

15 year old boys are always hungry. I think chocolates, or better yet, donuts! would be appreciated!

....and I think they resolved this pretty well a couple of years ago.

i think i'd like a gift certificate to a steak house. (don't know why I am hungry now).

I guess the performance has been long gone.

Or maybe, now that he is old enough to appreciate flowers, you can send him a belated bouquet?

I don't think flower-giving for men after performances is the norm here in the U.S., as much as in other places.

I do remember the banana split my parents treated me to, after my first recital...

Laura,
my family always took me to a restaurant for a late dinner in order to celebrate the event, discuss the performance, meet with interesting people we invited to the concert and replenish the energy. It's a wonderful thing to do, sometimes it means much more than any other material gift.
When I'm performing in other European countries I usually receive flowers and sometimes a cocktail party in order to meet with the guests of the organizer.
Perhaps you could combine some of the interesting suggestions by the others and add something yourself.

Cloth-bound Henle sheet music

Okay, what is he, 17 now? No more rifle, it's time for a 45 or 9 millimeter.