I have a little girl, we began her piano class at 3 and half with this teacher from a big city, in this small town, no one except her will take a toddler to begin piano. It turns out we like her so much, because her way of teacher is so cute and kids definitely love it. And so far, my daughter has been learning piano from her for two years, and she learned a lot. But one day at salon Sep., I was chatting with a woman whose girl is also learning piano, she told me about their teacher. She is a member of music teacher national association, and her students will attend two competitions every year. I got interested, then I asked my musician friend's opinion. She said your daughter is older now, maybe you should check out a teacher like this, and she will building her credits alone the road. Then I went to this teacher’s class one time, began to really like this teacher. Compare to her current teacher, this teacher seems more professional style. She has recital each year. After several months’ consideration, I decided to do it( one month in advance).
Although I figured the better way should be honest, still I told her we will not come back next year due to my schedule problem with hers, but I found this teacher with a better timing.. She was surprised to hear we will change to another teacher, and then she said in this case our class will not continue, then she went back to her office. We left quietly. My girl cried long time that night make my feeling worse, I thought she was regretting our decision, but more seems because of the teacher she loved said she will not teacher her remaining lessons.
I am here not complaining the teacher, I understand why she doesn’t want to finish the classes, I feel so guilty whenever I think about her. I am so grateful that she took my girl at the earlier age, I do not want hurt her feeling, but I did.
I think from now on, I will not connect with any teacher with more personal emotions, I hope she will feel better.

I think this was a missed opportunity on the teacher's part to end the relationship positively. I do wish that you were honest with her about your reasons for changing, however. It was really nothing negative about the current teacher, but simply you were looking for more performance opportunities.

Would you have stayed with your current teacher if she offered these to your daughter? A non-MTNA teacher can enter their students in competitions, the fee is just higher. Or she could very easily join the organization. She could have decided to offer a yearly recital. By being upfront with her, she may have been able to change things. Even if you decided to leave anyways, she may realize that these are things she shoudl consider for all of her students to remain competitive.

However, her reaction was completely off-base. I'm sure she was emotionally attached to your daughter (I get attached to my students too), and so sometimes an unexpected thing like this feels like a slap in the face. She didn't handle it well, that's for sure. It sounds like perhaps she is new to teaching and hasn't gotten accustomed to this. It happens to us all, no matter how good of a teacher we are, and eventually you realize that even if a student leaves, it doesn't mean they did not value the time they had with you.

If you wish, you can send her a note and perhaps a little gift thanking her for the time she spent with your daughter. Do not go over your reason for changing, or mention the real reason for the change at this point. Simply say thank you and let your daughter sign the card or draw on it as a way of allowing her to let go as well.

I'm sorry this happened to you and your daughter.

I do agree with points in both of the above posts. Prior to deciding to leave, I think you should have approached the teacher and explained that you were wondering about offering your child more performance or competition experience. The teacher might have offered them to you, or explained her reasons why she didn't do them, or even suggested that you look for another teacher.

But I do understand your reluctance to criticize the woman's studio practices. Even so, I'm afraid your excuse of scheduling issues rang false. No one drops a teacher because their current time slot doesn't work, without first asking for alternatives. And therefore, the teacher knew that you were either looking for an excuse to leave, or did not value her enough to make schedule adjustments. Either one is insulting.

But I think the teacher's reaction was unfortunate. It is always hard to be "fired", but her reaction was graceless, and thoughtless as far as your little girl was concerned. Years ago, my daughter's violin teacher reacted the same way when another student left her. Simply said, "Well, if I'm not good enough for you, I see no reason to continue." She was young, inexperienced, and reacting to insult. It would have been much easier to use the time to tie up loose ends, and wish her well.

I recommend that you can perhaps send a simply thank-you note - perhaps from your daughter, thanking her for all she has done, and leave it at that. I think the relationship has been severed, and all you can do is exit as gracefully as possible.

She probably sensed that the reason given wasn't the true reason, and assumed that you are unhappy with her. Goes to show the dangers of making assumptions.

Alas, but this sounds disturbingly like yet another example of a situation we see time and again on this forum, in myriad variations. A student starts with a teacher and develops a special bond with him/her. After a time, this starts to greatly bother the parent, the fact that an outsider has developed a special bond with his child, and the parent will then look for a reason (this is typically trivial or trumped up) to change teachers. But the parent feels uncomfortable, and maybe a little guilty, doing it entirely on his own, and therefore comes here looking for reinforcement in his decision, and "justification" for it.

But the decision has already been made by the parent. Once a parent in such a situation recognizes the depth of the bond between his child and this outsider, the teacher is as good as gone.

Not a little guilty, very guilty. I do not want to hurt her feeling. But decision not made by parent only, I took my daughter to meet the teacher once, I make sure she likes her.

When we just began with her first teacher, she had recitals(one in 2008, one in 2009), but this year, nothing. Maybe in my heart I know why I want to change, I do not like this kind of anticlimax(some other things like this one too). I asked her before does she teachers on Sat., she said she has horses in a farm, she spends time with them on weekends.

Anyway, I made the decision, hurt her feeling, only one thing gives me some comfort is that I made this decision for my daughter's good. I and this teacher use to talk for a while after class, so I got to know something going on in her life, I know she is not easy. I think that's why I feel so guilty.

I bought a music Christmas card from Target this weekend, and a little metal ornament with "love" on it, I put it in the gift pocket of that card. But the card still on my desk, I hesitated to mail it out, I am not sure what she will feel when she gets it. But after I talked to your guys here, I decided to mail it out.

Thanks.

Why is she not having recital this year?

What? You are not serious.

I didn't have a recital last year. I had explained to the parents and students that my health was not well and that I could not manage to organize a recital. Everyone understood, but I know they are looking forward to recitals again. Perhaps this teacher had something personal come up, or perhaps she had a feeling that parents and students didn't want a recital? Who knows?

To the OP, I do hope that in the future you discuss any issues with regards to your daughter's lessons with the teacher. It's all about communication between the teacher, parents, and student that makes a successful partnership. It's a shame this ended badly, but you live and you learn (hopefully!).

LOL - I am relatively new to this board and I only very occasionally read here. I've seen this posted this to several parent started threads. I really don't get the feeling this is a widespread problem. I think many of the best teachers to young children are the ones who encourage parents to be involved and engaged. Parents and teachers should hopefully be on the same "team".

We are on our 3rd piano teacher, we left our 2nd teacher because he wasn't teaching my child any technique. My son seemed able to pound out the notes to almost anything thrown at him at a very young age. So the teacher would "marvel" at him every week and let the 6 year old run the lesson. The teacher didn't have any competition opportunities and only once a year performance. My son just wasn't going to stay engaged with the set up. Granted, I chose this teacher under duress (first teacher moved away). Many other families LOVE a more laid back approach. The teacher was extremely upset when we left and left me a scathing phone message, but I think you do need to live and learn. I actually think the OP's teacher was quite unprofessional, but you could have been more honest about why you were leaving. I think the idea of a small gift and a card that your daughter personalizes would be really nice. We did something similar each time we lost a teacher.

For the record, my son has a very close relationship with his piano teacher. And still e-mails with his first piano teacher he hasn't had a lesson from in 3 years.

I had a similar experience a few years ago. I had a little girl start lessons with me at age 3 and 1/2, because I am the only teacher in my area who specializes in young children. This girl was very gifted and I taught her for 2 years. She loved me, I loved her, and everything was going great. We had 2 recitals a year, plus 2 piano parties a year, but she wasn't doing competitions yet. Out of the blue, I get a call from the mom saying that she was switching to another teacher and wanted to give her month notice. I was disappointed of course, but I handled it like a learning experience. I wanted to know, for my own purposes, what ithey felt was lacking in her lessons. This was an Asian family, and it turns out that they had wanted an Asian teacher all along, but this teacher wouldn't take her daughter that young, which is how they came to me. Then, after I do all of the hard work in teaching her for 2 years, they took her to the Asian teacher and had her play, and now the teacher will take her. That is when they left. The mom said they really wanted a teacher "in their culture" and this lady only teaches Asian kids.

I do feel for your teacher, even though she handled things badly. It is hard to lose a good student, especially one we have really connected with. Lucky for me, I did not let on that I was upset, and I handled my situation gracefully. The mom knew that her daughter did not want to leave me and would cry if she saw me again, so she paid for the next month but said they wouldn't be coming. I appreciated her thoughtfulness even though I was disappointed. They also sent me a nice card, acknowledging that they never would have been accepted with the other teacher without my years of hard work with them.

I do think that you should have been honest with the teacher about why you were leaving. It may be worth sending an email with further explanation, as it seems you are feeling pretty guilty about how you handled things too. Sounds like you and the teacher could use some closure to the situation.

Why not just say you need to take a break from piano and not mention finding a new teacher at all?

Because every piano teacher on the planet knows that's a lie?

So if we really want to take a break from piano (can't find time anymore or want to try another instrument like violin), what should we say to teachers?

If you need a break from piano, I guess you would mention that: "I need two months break or three months break" and actually give a date that you would come back to studio.
That is what my scientist husband say.

If you want to take a 2-3 month break and wish to come back to the same studio, you had best be willing to pay the teacher for holding your spot.

"I need a break from piano, I'll be back in the second week of February; I'll pay you the regular lesson rate to save my spot."

Or, if you have a flexible schedule and are willing to take your chances on a decent time slot being available, you may be able to leave out that last bit.

I think it is always best to be honest with the teacher, for whatever reason you are leaving. When I was new to teaching, I had a lady leave after about a year because she wanted her son to be able to do competitions and music festivals (something I was not offering at the time). I really appreciated the honest feedback, because it led to me getting much more involved in my local music community and starting to enter my students in competitions and festivals. I now see that lady at a lot of those. =) Although it hurt a bit at the time she left (especially since I was new to teaching then), I now look back and am glad she was honest with me, because it helped me grow as a teacher, and also grow my studio into a more professional, higher caliber studio.

On another note, I know a lot of teachers who do not allow students to return to their studio if they leave. Their feeling is that, if the student quits (for whatever length of time), that student is not serious about music and will not be let back in the future. This is even in the policy documents of several of my teacher friends. While I am not that strict, I do see the reasoning in this, as it really is unreasonable to expect a teacher to hold a spot for you indefinitely while you take a break, unless you are paying for the spot still. In my studio, people can try to come back later, but it all depends on if I have any openings available at the time. People know that when they leave my studio, they are gambling because there may not be a spot open when they want to come back. That is just a risk they take upon leaving.

As a parent, I think it was a big mistake to lie about the reason of changing teachers. If you had a good relationship with the teacher, had mutual trust, then lying would be really hurtful. It was a matter of not trusting the teacher's professionalism. I also recommend writing a letter to apologize and to thank her properly for her teaching in the past.

Sorry to hijack, but is this really true? I had never heard of this. What would be the benefit of actually joining, if you can just charge students a higher fee to participate in competitions?

Wow.

What if the truth (like not a qualified teacher) could really hurt a teacher's feeling ?

Then you tell the part of the truth that doesn't hurt so much (example: I found a teacher who has more education). This tells the first teacher what went wrong and how he can improve, without saying he is bad.

That's why I said "If you had a good relationship with the teacher, had mutual trust, then lying would be really hurtful." Mutual trust includes the part where you think the teacher is a reasonable person with reasonable professionalism and does understand that (s)he cannot satisfy all students' need and some would prefer to go elsewhere.

All I can say is that these are very touchy situations, and if we as teachers are honest and open, we have had encounters with parents with possible variations on the same theme. Just for sharing purposes, and not exactly a comment on your situation, but still a tie in, I had a parent who enrolled her son for lessons with me, changed the time and day, twice because of his sports schedule, and then even wanted another switch. At that point I wrote an email to her that this was the last time I would accommodate the lesson change, and I wanted reassurance that the new time would be stable and adhered to. It was kind of a written agreement that we both understood the terms of the change. Well, no sooner than the agreement was in place, mom called to say her son was "tired" because of a preceding soccer game and was it agreeable that he not come. I answered, "no, it was not agreeable." At that point she said (and this is the tie in but in reverse) "Well, than this is the last month of lessons for him." To which I replied, "No last week was the last lesson. There are no further lessons." After we spoke by phone, I was prepared to go about my business, and take care of some shopping because as it were, it was a Saturday afternoon, and i had already turned my schedule inside and out for this mother. Wouldn't you know it, the student showed up for the lesson, and naturally that one became the last..because mom had more than threatened me. I think on both ends there is hurt for any number of reasons. The big thing to keep in mind is RESPECT.. respect for the teacher.. and what she has tried, in her heart to do.. Again, your situation is touchy..and my heart goes out to you and to the teacher. Teacher changes are hard on kids, too.

http://arioso7.wordpress.com

Well, here's an "honest" situation. One of my students just "google-chatted" with me. Guess what? What? This lady at my church is going to give me extra piano classes today. ...

Further conversation ensues. The teacher is a "university music teacher" who has offered her free lessons. And she will switch if she likes her.

This little girl is foreign. I've bent over backwards for her, knowing that the family doesn't speak enough English to understand everything in my policy. So they don't pay when they miss a lesson, for example. And I allow them to switch lessons at the last moment. And I go out of my way to print free music (like scales) for her, rather than make them buy stuff. And I charge them less than going rate.

Money is tight (but not poverty - all their kids take something - art lessons, dance, etc.) But she is a sweet girl, who works hard and does well, so I've been willing to relax some rules. But I'm not willing to teach for free.

I can't compete with a university teacher who charges nothing.

This actually does happen! My cousin's classmate got free lessons because he's super talented. It makes me want to thank the professors who charge proper rates.