Yeah, I understand your angst, but I guess the title doesn't bother me that much. The content, on the other hand ....

The language of the title is just shorthand for differences in cultural approach to a specific task (parenting), which is why I don't think the black/white analogy is all that apt.

PRESENTING:

Battle of the Maternal Stereotypes!
Chinese Mother vs Jewish Mother!
Wontons vs latkes at twenty paces!

(Winner to receive choice of new Bosendorfer or HongKong)

OK, thread resurrection:

IMO, a brilliant rejoinder to Chua. She's actually a wimp who shields her children from the truly difficult cognitive learning experiences!

Amy Chua is a Wimp

Guys, I actually (sadly) read the book. The title of the journal article was quite misleading in that, the book doesn't read that way. It was an interesting view into a psychotic mother's need to control everything her children did/could do. In a way, Mrs. Chua spent the entire book glorifying the accomplishments of her children (winning 1st place at so and so competition) with the occasional not winning being the twists in the book.

Mrs. Chua's children already had quite a natural gift for music, it is unrealistic that every child would turn out the way her children did. I also couldn't help but feel disgusted (ENVIOUS) by the lengths Mrs. Chua took to win competitions/recitals (paying thousands of dollars to bring a music teacher along to an audition). I mean, SERIOUSLY? This is a very privileged family's story. They are very well-off financially to do the things they did with their children and had connections to powerful individuals who helped provide opportunities for the daughters to succeed in music. In short, there were many many advantages that these children had in order to succeed in music (not just talent) -- which Mrs. Chua completely ignores to acknowledge in the book.

Chua seems to be backpeddling a bit - Tough Love Chinese Style

i have a Chinese friend, in her 40s, I wondered why she hated flowers, and once she got really angry when i commented on a blossoming dogwood tree... Any remark like "oh look at that ... bloodroot, or tulip, or forsythia"... would cause a sort of spitting sound of disdain. I later found out her father decided she should become an artist, and she spent many many hours as a teenager learning to paint flowers! She didn't even care to talk about it. So... when the Chinese approach works, it works-- and when it doesn't, it REALLY doesn't! (One day, out hiking, my friend said quietly, as if to herself, "Oh, pretty" when we passed a stand of trillium, and I didnt say anything, just felt it was good for her own soul to say that)

I wouldn't say Chinese parenting skills are better than Western parents'. I'd say that in general, Asian culture places emphasis on values that are different from Westerners. That said, I dont think it is fair to generalize Chinese in such a way.

Although my parents were strict, I was not force to get straight A or practise the piano. I had to beg for piano lessons. When I practised too much my mum would ask me to shut up. Several times she would attempt to end my piano lessons, saying that I'm good enough and no longer need lessons. I can hardly remember my mum asking me to practise music or do my homework, or requesting straight A. I only remember getting caned for getting a D!

Although I didn't turn out to be one of the top students, I managed ok as an "above average students" from primary school through to university, now ended up as a chartered accountant as my profession. I still love music, practicing violin almost everyday for the past 7 years, and now the piano. Would I achieve more if I had those "Chinese tough love"? Maybe, but I'd say I'd be a lot more unhappy and stressing myself out for not living in a big mansion, driving expensive cars and not having anything for my patents to brag about. I'm glad I didn't get the tough love! The thing I got from my parents is to be self-sufficient and strive to be a good person.

Because I have common sense (something Ms Chua seems to lack) I have 2 questions:

1 - what happens when you have several "Tiger Mothers" in a class? There can only be one "First Place." Demanding your child be first in every activity does not work very well if everyone is doing it.

2 - This woman is a freakin' Yale Law Professor, something one would ASSUME is a more-than-full-time job. How on earth did she have time to spend what sounds like 20 hours a day doing things like supervise 3 hours of piano/violin practice, or 2000 math problems a night (as an aside...how is that even possible??? At one problem per minute wouldn't it take 33 1/2 hours to do 2000 problems???).

One of a zillion articles 'about' her article pointed out that her claims a questionable. Chua claims her 3 year old was 'reading Satre'...it turns out the kid just recognized the words "No Exit."

Sounds sketchy to me...

One of my sons actually taught himself to read his first book when he just turned 4. Of course it was an even more difficult book than Satre...it was "Thomas the Tank Engine." My wife and I were incredibly surprised. Yes, we checked to be sure it wasn't just memorizing what was on the page. I wrote some of the words on a piece of paper and it became clear that he figured out some basic phonics on his own. I believe that he didn't want to wait for us to read this book to him so he just tried to figure it out on his own.

Mr. Peabody
Oh...and by the way, I happen to be...(OMINOUS MUSIC)...CHINESE! (Call social services right away!)

Oh I have no doubt that preschool kids can learn to read. I'll never forget the day my little brother, who was about 4, had been messing with my Partridge Family albums (yes, this dates me, I know). He told me he put them all back in their cardboard sleeves. Since the records all looked identical I thought he'd just stuck them in random covers, and was irritated. When I looked I saw that they were all in the right covers! I asked him how he did it and he said, matter-of-factly..."I read them"(!) Mom and I were both astounded, no one had ever worked with him much or tried to teach him. He just picked it up!

However, this is a far, far, cry from "reading Sartre"...(as was what Ms Chua's daughter apparently did). She seems to embellish the truth quite a bit. Makes me want to suggest someone digs thru her academic publications and do some fact checking

Honestly, Sartre is such a Debbie Downer. Much, much better to read "Thomas the Tank Engine."

Mr. Peabody
Note to self: must berate my sons from 9:00 to 9:15PM tonight...just because.

And I managed The Cat in the Hat at about that age in the wilds of Appalachia. No Tiger Mothers involved. (But there was probably a Mama Possum or two around.)