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#1618349 - 02/12/11 02:52 PM Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano?
MathTeacher Offline
Full Member

Registered: 01/25/11
Posts: 256
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Sorry if this is a strange question, but I'm assuming that we can ask any question related to the piano. Back in high school, I did date a girl who had already finished grade 10 piano. No doubt she was better than me, and as a result she was never impressed by my playing. Even when I played Chopin's Fanatasie Impromptu for her, she said "I can tell you are using the pedal a lot to hide all your mistakes." Sheesh. Personally, if I were dating someone, I would prefer that she NOT know how to play the piano. This way, I think she would appreciate my playing more and enjoy listening to me more. Normally, I would like to share the same interests as the woman, but not in the case of the piano. In fact, I would prefer that she be a good singer. That way we can team up and things would be much better than if we both were interested in playing the piano.

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#1618350 - 02/12/11 02:54 PM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: MathTeacher]
Orange Soda King Offline
6000 Post Club Member

Registered: 11/25/09
Posts: 6070
Loc: Louisville, Kentucky, United S...
To me it doesn't matter, although I'd be a little intimidated if she were better than me, haha!

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#1618360 - 02/12/11 03:12 PM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: MathTeacher]
Dave Horne Offline
5000 Post Club Member

Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 5276
Loc: Vught, The Netherlands
Are we talking in addition to our spouse?
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#1618365 - 02/12/11 03:22 PM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: Dave Horne]
MathTeacher Offline
Full Member

Registered: 01/25/11
Posts: 256
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Originally Posted By: Dave Horne
Are we talking in addition to our spouse?

Well, then in your case would you want your spouse to be a pianist as well? (With the two of you constantly fighting over the piano)

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#1618366 - 02/12/11 03:22 PM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: MathTeacher]
debrucey Offline
2000 Post Club Member

Registered: 01/18/06
Posts: 2606
Loc: Manchester, UK
What if we're not married? I think the OP was just trying to be as non-denominational as possible.

I would either like to be with a person who was a much much better pianist than me, or someone who was very interested in music but not particularly musical themself.

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#1618368 - 02/12/11 03:33 PM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: debrucey]
BruceD Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Registered: 05/26/01
Posts: 18030
Loc: Victoria, BC
Originally Posted By: debrucey
What if we're not married? I think the OP was just trying to be as non-denominational as possible.
[...]


"non-denominational" ... No, I don't go to church, either.
_________________________
BruceD
- - - - -
Estonia 190

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#1618369 - 02/12/11 03:34 PM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: MathTeacher]
debrucey Offline
2000 Post Club Member

Registered: 01/18/06
Posts: 2606
Loc: Manchester, UK
*woosh* over my head

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#1618370 - 02/12/11 03:38 PM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: MathTeacher]
Elysia Offline
Full Member

Registered: 09/28/10
Posts: 193
Loc: Canada
If they are not interested in piano sometimes your hard work and effort can be overlooked. I find with alot of people that have no knowledge in piano or music, wether it be a spouse or friend, or aquaintance. It is assumed by many that we just sit down and should play...no work involved. So I think it would be nice if the spouse knew enough to appreciate you, it is also going to depend on the spouses personality, a person who advises with posative suggestions is good, but one that undermines you can be upsetting. My bf does not play an instrument but I talk about it anyways....or I come to PW lol. I am already thankfull that he does not care what time of day I practise, or if I have to practise while he is sleeping sometimes. But I think you can share the interest, just share it with a person that won't put you down.
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#1618372 - 02/12/11 03:40 PM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: debrucey]
BruceD Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Registered: 05/26/01
Posts: 18030
Loc: Victoria, BC
Originally Posted By: debrucey
*woosh* over my head


denominational :

1. of or pertaining to a denomination or denominations.
2. founded, sponsored, or controlled by a particular religious denomination or sect: denominational schools.
3. limited, conditioned, originating in, or influenced by the beliefs, attitudes, or interests of a religious sect, political party, etc.: denominational prejudice.
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#1618374 - 02/12/11 03:42 PM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: MathTeacher]
liszt85 Offline
3000 Post Club Member

Registered: 08/26/08
Posts: 3159
My wife gets irritated when she sees me spending time on PW. She also doesn't fully understand why slow and repetitive practice is necessary. However, she doesn't complain. She uses headphones and watches tv shows on the internet when I practice. So it works out okay for us. She is a singer.
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Current:
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Next in line:
Chopin: Ballade No. 1 in G minor, Op.23
Debussy: Le vent dans la plaine (Prelude 3, Book 1)
Debussy: Les sons et les parfums tournent dans l'air du soir (Prelude 4, Book 1)

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#1618380 - 02/12/11 03:46 PM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: MathTeacher]
WinsomeAllegretto Offline
500 Post Club Member

Registered: 07/18/10
Posts: 832
That's a good question. Sometimes I think that if he didn't play piano then it would be frustrating because he wouldn't understand such a huge part of my life. But then there's the whole jealousy issue....but honestly if we actually loved each other then I don't think it would matter. Also, (and this is not a conscious thing) when I find out a guy is musical (not necessarily piano), it makes me like him more, lol.

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#1618381 - 02/12/11 03:47 PM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: MathTeacher]
ando Online   content
3000 Post Club Member

Registered: 11/23/10
Posts: 3583
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
Oh, it's definitely better if your partner plays, but not as well as you do. wink But don't rub it in because that will come back to haunt you in ways you don't expect... mad






(not really serious... smirk )




Seriously though, I think you need to set some ground rules if you both play the same instrument. Make it a rule to not be critical of each other unless it is specifically requested. Having somebody hovering around can really inhibit you if you think they are criticising your every move. Make it clear that it isn't a competition and that you don't want unsolicited advice because it discourages you.

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#1618385 - 02/12/11 03:59 PM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: MathTeacher]
-Frycek Online   confused
5000 Post Club Member

Registered: 08/06/05
Posts: 5921
Loc: SC Mountains
My husband of twenty seven good years is musical, used to play the trumpet, but he pretty much ignores my piano playing. He just tunes it out (or sleeps through it which is why I can practice at four in the morning.) He's supportive in an unobstructive and unjealous way so I should thank my blessings but there are times I wish he'd show just a little more interest.
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Slow down and do it right.

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#1618389 - 02/12/11 04:04 PM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: MathTeacher]
feebeeliszt Offline
Full Member

Registered: 05/30/10
Posts: 414
Loc: London
I would demand my date to be a good musician, doesn't matter if he is professional/amateur or what instrument he plays. But if he plays the piano, I would rather he is better than me - so I can get free lessons for life LOL. The only problem is that we may have to fight for the piano.
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The notes I handle no better than many pianists. But the pauses between the notes - ah, that is where the art resides! - Schnabel

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#1618430 - 02/12/11 05:08 PM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: BruceD]
stores Offline
6000 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 6646
Loc: Here, as opposed to there
Originally Posted By: BruceD
Originally Posted By: debrucey
What if we're not married? I think the OP was just trying to be as non-denominational as possible.
[...]


"non-denominational" ... No, I don't go to church, either.


hahahahahahaha!!!
_________________________

"And if we look at the works of J.S. Bach — a benevolent god to which all musicians should offer a prayer to defend themselves against mediocrity... -Debussy

"It's ok if you disagree with me. I can't force you to be right."

♪ ≠ $


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#1618431 - 02/12/11 05:10 PM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: MathTeacher]
stores Offline
6000 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 6646
Loc: Here, as opposed to there
Originally Posted By: MathTeacher
Even when I played Chopin's Fanatasie Impromptu for her, she said "I can tell you are using the pedal a lot to hide all your mistakes." Sheesh.


hahahahaha! This made me laugh. Lay off that pedal man (but really...what a b**ch hahaha)
_________________________

"And if we look at the works of J.S. Bach — a benevolent god to which all musicians should offer a prayer to defend themselves against mediocrity... -Debussy

"It's ok if you disagree with me. I can't force you to be right."

♪ ≠ $


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#1618439 - 02/12/11 05:18 PM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: MathTeacher]
debrucey Offline
2000 Post Club Member

Registered: 01/18/06
Posts: 2606
Loc: Manchester, UK
Even if my use of the word was appropriate (I must have been thinking of a different one) I still dont get the joke lol

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#1618666 - 02/13/11 01:15 AM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: MathTeacher]
Percival Offline
Full Member

Registered: 01/15/11
Posts: 66
Loc: United Kingdom
So long as they're not better than me. mad
_________________________
But Cristes lore, and his apostles twelve,
He taught; but first he folwed it himselve.

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#1618703 - 02/13/11 03:35 AM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: Percival]
Dave Horne Offline
5000 Post Club Member

Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 5276
Loc: Vught, The Netherlands
Originally Posted By: Percival
So long as they're not better than me. mad


Grammar as well?
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#1618726 - 02/13/11 05:04 AM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: Dave Horne]
Percival Offline
Full Member

Registered: 01/15/11
Posts: 66
Loc: United Kingdom
Originally Posted By: Dave Horne
Originally Posted By: Percival
So long as they're not better than me. mad


Grammar as well?


Take it up with Chaucer. laugh
_________________________
But Cristes lore, and his apostles twelve,
He taught; but first he folwed it himselve.

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#1618740 - 02/13/11 06:03 AM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: Elysia]
Cinnamonbear Online   content
3000 Post Club Member

Registered: 01/09/10
Posts: 3905
Loc: Rockford, IL
Originally Posted By: Elysia
If they are not interested in piano sometimes your hard work and effort can be overlooked. I find with alot of people that have no knowledge in piano or music, wether it be a spouse or friend, or aquaintance. It is assumed by many that we just sit down and should play...no work involved. So I think it would be nice if the spouse knew enough to appreciate you [...]


Yes, Elysia! Yes, -Frycek! I would love it if my wife (of 25 years this month! laugh ) listened with rapt attention as I poured out my heart for her at the keyboard, then fawned all over me with hands and lips and gushing appreciation for the care with which I gave every touch and tone. Instead, she says, walking past me from here to there while I'm playing the piano, "That's Bach, right?" And I say with a sigh, "No, it's Mozart..." Alas, she is not a very deep musical appreciator. It wasn't until I asked her to read a few selected threads on Piano World where people were getting into the nitty gritty about interpretation and articulation and such, that she really started to appreciate what I am attempting to do at the keyboard and the time I spend doing it. Sometimes, I hear her in another room "La-la"-ing the melodies of the things I play (either while I'm playing or after), and that is enough to warm my heart... smile
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I may not be fast,
but at least I'm slow.

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#1618746 - 02/13/11 06:13 AM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: MathTeacher]
cast12 Offline
Full Member

Registered: 12/14/09
Posts: 219
Absolutely!

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#1618804 - 02/13/11 08:37 AM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: MathTeacher]
J_D Offline
Full Member

Registered: 03/10/10
Posts: 303
Loc: Texas, USA
As long as mine can hit high C on occasion, I am happy!
I hope I don't get banned for this post.


Edited by J_D (02/13/11 08:45 AM)
_________________________
J.D.
Hailun 178

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#1618815 - 02/13/11 09:02 AM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: J_D]
Pogorelich. Offline
4000 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/28/08
Posts: 4528
Loc: in the past
Originally Posted By: J_D
As long as mine can hit high C on occasion, I am happy!
I hope I don't get banned for this post.


whistle


Well, whoever thinks dating another pianist is bad is missing out on so much. Both my bf and I are pianists. In a few years we're going to be hunting for the same types of jobs. He's way better than me.. but it has had SUCH benefits on my playing, I've learned so much. And, he's a solo player and I know I'll be doing more chamber. Plus he likes my playing (or so he says)... and we're not afraid to be critical as hell on each other - it's fun actually (unless it goes as far as slamming doors and the silent treatment haha). We get to have conversations non-music couples don't have, we get to go to concerts together all the time (that is, when we're in the same country..........), and the cool thing is, we've shared some teachers over the years. So it's very interesting. The best thing is, we get to play piano duos for concerts and stuff, which is my favourite, favourite favourite type of chamber!

Of course it's not all pink and roses, and you will ultimately get compared. But as long as you both honestly know where you are, why should it matter? There will always be people who are better than you anyway.


Edited by Pogorelich. (02/13/11 09:07 AM)
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#1618860 - 02/13/11 09:58 AM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: MathTeacher]
wavelength Offline
Full Member

Registered: 11/23/07
Posts: 340
Loc: Vermont, USA
I like her to be good anywhere wink

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#1618863 - 02/13/11 10:01 AM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: MathTeacher]
debrucey Offline
2000 Post Club Member

Registered: 01/18/06
Posts: 2606
Loc: Manchester, UK
They just gotta have a very very large... piano.

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#1619049 - 02/13/11 02:43 PM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: debrucey]
dolce sfogato Offline
2000 Post Club Member

Registered: 03/29/10
Posts: 2641
Loc: Netherlands
so size does matter after all?
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#1619271 - 02/13/11 07:18 PM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: MathTeacher]
fledgehog Offline
Full Member

Registered: 01/09/11
Posts: 273
Loc: West Hartford, CT
i've only ever dated one person who had any sort of piano playing experience, and she was terrified of playing for me. An appreciation for and understanding of music and my particular art form is something i'm obviously always looking for, but if the other person plays as well, there are two possible results, depending on the gap in ability -- either you will always be trying to one-up each other, and when you've been outdone it makes you insecure about your abilities, or one is clearly a better player than the other, and the inferior player isn't open and willing to share their playing at all.
not to mention all the other piano majors at my school (male and female) seem to have a stick up their ass O_o

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#1619282 - 02/13/11 07:32 PM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: MathTeacher]
argerichfan Offline
8000 Post Club Member

Registered: 11/15/06
Posts: 8889
Loc: Pacific Northwest, US.
My significant 'other' does not particularly get off on classical music. More of a case of delights with Pachelbel's Canon, Beethoven's 5th, Tchaikovsky's 1812, Ravel's Bolero, usual suspects.

But we agree on politics, we agree to disagree on religion, so it's all cool. I'm not worried about the relationship, it is all about give and take, and not getting into playing games.
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Jason

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#1619302 - 02/13/11 07:58 PM Re: Would you prefer that your lover also be good at the piano? [Re: MathTeacher]
Pogorelich. Offline
4000 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/28/08
Posts: 4528
Loc: in the past
Time to get them into some Elgar, Jason!


Edited by Pogorelich. (02/13/11 11:39 PM)
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'I want to invest my emotions only in music; it will never disappoint me or hurt me - it is a safe place to be.'

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