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Are the Father and Grandfather like that as well?

The Father will interfere a little by telling her to pay attention if she starts whining or not listening to me, but he has never been rude to me (or Mom for that matter.) One thing I keep in mind is that her brother has epilepsy and they are trying hard to bring his seizures under control. I teach him also and the only issue I have with him when he starts to ask me a question while I am talking regarding a completely different subject. Sis could just be acting out from the extra attention he gets. My Mother would have drop kicked me into next week (and no, she wasn't abusive) if I talked to an adult the way this child talks to me. They are both homeschooled and that also makes me wonder about things. Possible they just don't know how to act in a situation with other people.

I have only met the Grandfather once. He helps them with their lessons. My only issue is that he was teaching the Grandson to improvise on his songs before he had even learned them. I am all for improvisation and think it is a WONDERFUL skill to have, but let him learn the song as printed first. I mentioned that once in the lesson that we needed to learn it from the printed page first (there are also rhythm issues with this child) and then it is great after that to improvise. Grandpa was there at the next lesson. At first, I thought "oh, no" I am going to hear about it now. But he was very quiet and just sat in my living room listening.

Have to admit, I laughed at that! I can't believe a student could say such a thing to a teacher! Wow! that's very bold of her! Funny, but not funny!

Well, I agree with others that you have to nail a situation at the moment it happens! I could tell stories! But normally, after a student has given me a remark that shows their lack of care, I will simply ask them a question, like "Why did you say that to me? I'm here to help you, & you aren't doing yourself any favours by acting like that to me, when all I'm doing is for your own good & I'm on your side to help you anyway I can! Now, TELL ME, why did you say/do that to me?" Then I wait for them to explain! This is always entertaining!

Then I wait & listen to what they might say! I just continue to ask why they are acting like that, till they try explaining their bad behaviour, until they see what I'm see!

Again, each student is different, so you are going to get different answers, but if they come back with another bad behaviour statement, I ask them again, why do you have to say that to me? Then eventually, they see that I'm on their side and I can't BELIEVE they are acting like that! So they know I won't just let a nasty comment/behaviour slide!

But I'm not perfect, & when one boy threw a book at me, I phoned his mom & I never had him return again! I could have handled that situation better, but this particular situation, I say it was just a "personality conflict"!

OMG! Seriously? I think I might say to her "OK, I'm going to start over. Isn't that great? And now you can move on to book 2B" and give her a chance to think again about her response. What a little snit!

But what really irks me is (in the case of this particular boy) this constant "I DID play that", or "I CAN'T do that".

So, here's a story: After I missed a week of lessons because of the MTNA conference, my 5th grade student, Jonathan, was sitting at the piano, ready for his lesson. I looked at his assignment notebook and said 'So, how's the minuet?" He said "What? You didn't assign me the minuet." I said, uh, right here in your book, I have written "Work on Minuet in B minor, Hands alone, then slowly hands together,etc,, etc". .........

When do you think enough is enough?

Carol, I have two rules and only two rules in my Studio:

Rule #1 The Teacher is Always Right

Rule #2 When you think the teacher is wrong, refer to rule #1

And that reminds me of my favorite line: "I'm sorry. You apparently thought I was giving you a choice."

I wonder if the people who find the student's reaction outrageous are really shocked by the rudeness, or by the unexpected challenge to the teacher's values?

I mean "Why should I care?" is not an entirely unreasonable point of view to be held by somebody who does not live, eat, and breath music. Those of us who live under our pianos probably thing that a demonstration of musical progress is so obviously a good thing that it doesn't even need to be defended. But to a child who possibly has a hundred and one more interesting things to be doing than practising Fairy Footsteps or whatever, it's a question that does merit a considered answer.

I'd bet that if the student had said "Might I venture to suggest, Ma'm, that this achievement is of no great relevance to myself, with all due respect" it would have been no less shocking.

Just my £.02, as always.

Sorry, Kevin. Rude is rude. It doesn't matter to me if a child doesn't "live, eat, and breath music." That is not the issue. A child being rude and disrespectful to an adult is!

I have begun to think that the reason some children are inclined towards this level of disrespect could be related to the fact that most of them address me as "Ben".

YES! And you need to train your parents to address you as Mr. Crosland as well. FWIW, I address 100% of my students' parents as Mr. & Mrs., or Dr., or whatever the appropriate title is.

But John, you know that is too old fashioned and hopelessly out of date. We are supposed to nuture these little one's self esteem!

I assume that teachers do not want to be considered infallible, that they do want to hear from their students if something feels wrong, they do want their students to think for themselves and use their senses - but they don't want a certain attitude. "The teacher is always right." is a handy rule for the kind of situation being described. Beyond that it can't be a good idea. (?)