Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Adult Beginners Forum why do I hate jazz?

Hya Guys ! I think it has been established by folks educating me that I dont "hate" all forms of jazz, just modern improvisational jazz that goes on for ages.
Maybe "hate" was a strong word to put in the title, In my defence,I only put it because "why do I find this tedious and a painfull physical assault on my ears and senses?" Didnt fit.

To clarify, to both jazz "buffs" and the uninitiated alike, I have drawn a pie chart that should explain things better.

Please feel free to mock my drawing skills, I am not an "artist" and am not claiming to be.

-Maybe you are trying to express hate but its not really for jazz. Maybe you haven't even listened to much jazz. Jazz is just a substitute for something else grating on you. ?

Is the pie chart confusing?

No. How are you doing with Lost Happiness?
This is my last message here Rostosky.

I don't mind modern jazz so much if it's played very softly as background music at a nice restaurant where I have a good meal, drinks and interesting dinner companion to talk to so that I don't have to concentrate at all on actually listening to that music. Oh, what the heck, you can add me to the list of not liking most forms of modern jazz (I like some kinds that have latin rhythms).

I am glad the pie chart was clear, I spent all night colouring it in. The main problem was my red felt pen had gone dry, because it had been kept without its lid on properly,a problem I have now rectified.
I had to keep licking it, which not only made my tongue go red but also made the paper so wet I nearly made holes in it.

Lost happiness, allthough I can now play it from memory has proved more difficult, I watched both Baremboims version on youtube and also Ignaz Friedmans version for guidance.

I posted to try and find out what folks thought of these two very different versions,but did not get many replies. So, being and old romantic decided to lean towards the Friedman version which I totally prefer.
friedman puts so much expression into it that it sounds like it will all come to a full stop on a couple of occasions, almost, but it never does of course.

As an aside, both Baremboim and Friedman only play what is written in the score, neither improvise endlessly.
I take comfort in this,as I think Mendelssohn may have intended this to be the case.

Ellsa you are so totally welcome. I believe that you may be number 35 at the moment.
As a special introductory privilege for "oustanding bravery in the face of possible social exclusion"
I have set aside 3 biscuits for your enjoyment.
Also if you don't like the number 35, and you have your own favourite number, like a lucky number or something, do say and we should be able to work out a "swap" with that member.

I would imagine bribery with granmas biscuits will achieve this to both parties satisfaction.

Since you've drawn such a nice flag of Japan, may I present, for your enjoyment...
Hiromi!

Holy friggin smokes!

That woman is so skilled and so joyful to watch!

Thanks jazzyprof,
Hiromi is certainly an extremely talented pianist, and she seems very amused at what she is doing as well, which seems a little unusual for improvisors.
I am glad she is obvoiusly happy in her work.
However I feel that the Japanese sunami and subsquent breakdown of reactors 1 through to 6 isn't an appropriate subject for mirth.

Hiromi would probably better express this tragedy by playing something like The warsaw concerto, or even a smaller song that expressed sadness like say Death of Aase from the Peer Gynt suite.
I feel confident that her remarkable talents would allow her to do a stunning piano version that would be both moving and appropriate to the current situation in Japan.

I LOVE this thread. Rostosky, do you write books or essays? You should.

I like jazz and I'm enjoying your discussion. I don't know why anyone cares what each of us likes.

How could anyone hate any kind of music when it's done well?

Please refer to the above pie chart, "hate " has allready been dismissed out of this thread. It was used in the title because what I wanted to say did not fit , it was about this long;

"why when I hear modern jazz........and then.......... ......also.........procrastinate................makes me ..............and then I am ill for ages?" (mostly)

Doing something very well, does not of itself mean that everyone will like it. To illustrate this, I would like to remind folks of the case of "The curious nasel whistling boy from Bolivia"
In 1879 the aforementioned boy broke onto the carnival circuit in a blaze of glory, he had the unique gift of being able to whistle the entire works of Motzart (on request) purely from his nose, note perfect I might add.
Whilst not only his parents but the entire media frenzy that followed approved of this ability, many Ladies of the time (and three trainee nurses) found it distastefull.

A quote from a lady of leisure taken from a newspaper cutting reads; " I was full of anticipation of hearing the Bolivian nasel whistling boy and put on my most expensive corset just for the occasion. Little did I expect that his performance would bring me out in shingles and cause me to eject my dinner, I regret buying a ticket now, and would not wish to hear him ever again, I do count myself fortunate,it could have been worse, he might have started improvising"

I can only agree with Roger, Peyton and Rostosky. Seems this thread is on the right track now.

Great, thank you.. Love furry biscuits.

I have cats as well - shedding season now. That's fine.

Here is an illustration of the sort of Jazz I love...
Club members 1 through to 35 inclusive dont panic.....
Its cool.

That's pretty amazing how he makes his vibraphone sound like a full string orchestra.
That's some mad skills right there.

Strange what one finds out by accident, and today was no exception.
I woke up in a normal enough fashion, one of the neighbours petrol strimmers had entered one of my favourite dreams and changed it for the worse.
In that dream ( before the strimmers) I am explaining to Kate Bush that all teenage boys loved "That Poster" and were prepared to put up with the sqeaky upper registers of her voice all those years ago purely on the basis of a nipple.

Needless to say the strimmers changed the dream into something a little more frightening, in this case putting me in the same building as prohibition era jazz musicians,(no alcohol either, so no chance of blotting it all out) but not to dwell,I had a whole day to get on with.

Breakfast was good, I had part of a large Halibut, a ciggerete , some more halibut, jelly babies,and finished off with last nights left over chinese takaway.A whole pot of tea and some more ciggeretes.
I knew the takeaway would leave me hungry again in an hour or so , but I would be passing a very good pie shop on my morning outing.

As I bimbled down the road, my mind turned to music again, and I pondered the "melodic content issues" that have tormented me on and off since the 4th August 1979. (But not during the periods 11th Sept 83 through 17th sept 83 when I was having fun with a dubious lady who kept me occupied on other matters)
I stopped by pure chance next to the local parish church to have another ciggy, sit on the wall, and peruse the graveyard.

It was at this point that the village vicar appeared and came over for a chat, as there are only seven known persons in the entire Parish who will engage in conversation with him,(since the choirboy/jazz party scandle of 92) he doesn't miss an opportunity to partake of social discourse.

The first thing he asked me, was sort of accusatory; "your not still worried about Zombies are you?" and pointed to the gravestones.

That actually had a bit of a detrimental affect on me, because I hadn't been worried about Zombies today (up till that point) but now I was becoming worried,my main fear of course was that he was going to be the bearer of the news that I most feared like "well you should be worried, because last night...."

I just said "no" for the sake of not having to explain that I hadn't "bothered" Milla Jovovich on facebook since the injunction.

I mentioned I had been contemplating Jazz improvisation, I just mentioned it in a casual way with no facial expression at all , and I definately did not wretch or put my ciggerette out on my tongue or anything like that.

Imagine my surprise when he got violent.
Don't forget here, I had not been awake for very long so was still a bit fragile.
The absolute last thing I expected him to say during this clerical psychotic episode, (which strangly turned out to be the very first thing he did say) was ; "Do you really want all our churches to be smashed up again?"

"Padre" I said, "padre, I have not got the slightest Idea of what you are going on about, I swear, I really haven't"

"Then my son, ( I know it sounds stereotypicall, but he really did say that) you better come into the vestry with me and I will tell you all about it "
I fruitlessly racked my brains for the info on how the choirboy/jazz party scandal of 92 had actually ended,and indeed if any charges were brought, but drew a complete blank.

Once tea and biscuits ( his own ,not my grans, so some dissapointment) had been served by his curiously dressed housekeeper, he got down to the dusty business of pulling old books and parchments off the vestry shelves.

with a knarly finger, and a curled lip that still had biscuit crumbs on it he both pointed to a page in a book and questioned me at the same time with

"you've heard of the Ellwyn family curse boy" he hissed.

(please dont let it be zombies ,please dont let it be zombies was all I could think)
I managed to say " No vicar, I cant say I have"

"cant say you ave boy?,cant say you ave? can e not? "

At this point I have to say the vicars whole accent had changed dramatically, it was now a cross between victorian cockney and Circa 1643 pirate. I was strangly engrossed.

"well I tell e, Brother Tobias Ellwyn the 7th was of the order of the "secluded sect of uncommunacative brothers that ardly goes out of monastic grounds and nevers eats peas", so e was"

( I decided not to question the lengthy title of said brotherhodd, this was getting weird)

"And" I said,
"well boy, well might you "and", e had unatural family traits so e did, passed down through generations of the hideous Ellwyn line" "got caught red anded with pen and paper in is and, so he did"

Before I got a chance to say "doing what" the vicar just carried on " got it of his great grandfather they says, he tried to do it to greensleeves of all things"
And with a great sigh of woe, he carried on "greensleeves of all things, the Kings own song an all, made him so mad he burnt down all the monastries"

I really needed to get my pie and wanted this to make some sense before I left, so I got a bit "short" with him.

"Listen" I said, "just what did brother Ellwyn do, or try to do with the pen and paper, that his great great grandfather also did to greensleeves, that brought down the monastries, because everyone in his family had some sort of genetic irregularity?"

( I really hoped that covered everything)

"can do better than tell e, can show e" said the vicar and in a triumphal manner showed me the above score with the unnacceptable improvisational ideas that Brother Ellwyn had scribbled in for the lovely hymn of Jerusalem. His ancester having of course done the same with greensleeves and brought down the wrath of the king on the monastries.

"see boy, see" said the vicar, "thats the sort of trouble we be talking here, excomunication, family madness, a cursed line, looky boy, look at ye proposed score of Ellwyn, does that look normal to you?"

I had to admit on examination, that it didn't , I dont know if it was because it actually didn't or if I was worried all the pies may have gone.
He was good enough to give me a copy of Brother Ellwyns work "as an example of cloistered foolishness"
So I thought I would put it up for perusal.

Rostosky

Can you really dislike something like this?

"Oh! Good Grief" by Vince Guaraldi

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rfo2rgq4u10