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Ah Sparky, you actually went "full frontal" so to speak by using the one word that has always been in my head to describe this, but that I avoided. lol.
At least with real masturbation,you have interesting "themes"
A good "build up"
And (usually) a satisfying "resolution"
Also, if your doing it right, it shouldn't be hurting anyone elses ears.

As long as you don't practice "aural sex".

(Sorry).

swiftly moving back to my failure to understand why I hate "those" types of jazz previously mentioned..
I got to wondering, has anyone ever improvised themselves to death or serious illness? I did a search on Google for "jazz musician fatally over-improvises" but didnt turn up anything.

I then wondered if a jazz musician had ever over improvised to the point where he ( or she, but its usually a he)had been rejected by his community?

so did another search; "jazz musician achieves 1000 metre social exclusion zone around his own person"

again Google failed me.

I then re-thought what Sparky had said, and wondered "is there such a thing as wanky - jazz?"

Googling in a bored sort of non expectant way could not have prepared me for the surprise and shock that followed.

Yes there is such a thing.. I dont know what it is, and I am not going to look, to be totally honest I am only really surprised that someone is finally admitting to calling it that.

Then I found that there is a help and support group for folk that say they hate jazz, with true personal stories, where one can get advice and chat, and share experiences in a caring loving safe enviroment.

Whilst it's not for me, as my life has not be as seriously affected by this genre as these poor souls lives have, I do feel justified in aquiring the 22 members numbers and accepting them into the movement on an honoury basis.

so thats 9 from here, + 22 honoury members from here;

http://www.experienceproject.com/groups/Hate-Jazz/17945

making a grand total of 31 to date.
I must admit great surprise and a sense of awe at the sheer number of brave souls that have come forward so far,knowing the risk of ridicule to be high, accepting the strong likelyhood of being labelled intellectually bankrupt cannot have been easy. Standing up alone in a desert of scorching sand and having the nerve to ask for a glass of water takes some doing.
In these hard times of melodic revival being in it's infancy, I take great comfort in the 31.

It can be okay. Some of it at least. A lot of people equate jazz with bebop, which I do despise. It sounds like someone had a mouthful of 32nd notes and sneezed into a trumpet. I feel like I'm being attacked by a swarm of flies when I listen to bebop. I prefer the kind of music where you can tell if there's wrong notes.

Of things people love to hate, Jazz seems to be sorted out for special attention. I really dont mind, as long as a bit of humor is attached.

32 and rising,soon no one will be able to slight us because its not politically correct to slight minorities.

I totally apologise if I gave the impression that Jazz is the only thing I dont like.
And to emphasise this particular point and address the issue immediately, here is a list of things that I also dont like, in order of importance.

My list of things I also dont like by Rostosky.
(1.) More jazz.
(2.) Accidently getting entangled under a 48 ton vehicle and being dragged down the highway in my underpants.
(3.) "Some" modern Jazz.
(4.) My own Mums shepherd pie (regardless of knowing the recipe)
(5) The thought of Zombies rising from the village graveyard, before I can get in touch with Milla Jovovich.
(6.)"some more" modern jazz.
(7.) Being ejected from under the 48 ton truck in my now torn underpants outside the local school just as the dinnertime bell is ringing.
(8.) Peas and other unnecesary greens that take space up on a dinner plate where good stuff like meat and pastries should go.
(9)Mormons calling at my front door; I cannot tell the difference (just from looking behind the curtains) between mormons and FBI.
(10)Cleo lane singing songs from all her albums which are all called "jazz essentials for the uninitiated"
(11) The Old lady on the bus who sat next to me on the 4th August 1992 and explained that the slurry smell from the fields might,just might, be her colostomy bag.
(13)Jazz musicians trumpet mutes; they dont help, I can still hear them play.
(14.) Heartburn from greasy food, the sort that makes you go cold when you think its actually the begining of a heart attack, and causes a panic attack,and sweats which makes it all seem worse,especially if you are in your bed alone at the time, with only your own fears to counter with.
(15)A dream I once had where every single sexual partner I had ever had in my life, were all in a room together, and I walked in, and they all stopped talking and pointed at me.
(16)Improvised jazz.

I saw an episode of Sex in the City recently and this topic is what Sarah Jessi#a P#arker says. She says, "I hate jazz", and maybe you saw the episode. I won't spoil it in case you haven't seen it. But when I saw this topic I thought maybe that inspired it or else you need to read the episode online somewhere. ha.

LindaR hya , no not at all, it comes from my own brain, We do get Sex I T City here in the UK but my misses never has it on the telly, because it's about shoes and stuff.
My misses does have shoes of course, but only ones she needs, she doesn't have for example a wardrobe that only has shoes in it.
I don't like Sarahs chin. I know this is not an acceptable way to judge folk in general and I dont usually.
If I combine the thought of Sarahs chin with the expense of all the shoes in a walk in wardrobe,I lose the ability to function sexually.

I am however very glad to hear that Miss Parker does not like Jazz, I am sure she has her reasons even if they differ from mine, for example, she may not like jazz purely based on the cost of the musicians shoes or where they purchase them from,that's not a criteria that I have adopted.

So now we are a minority of 33 with an all inclusive expensive to maintain girl in our midst vis a vie Miss P.

I hasten to add, she will not get any special preferential treatment from this movement,but is welcome nevertheless.

As an aside,(according to folk who know)the girls from sex in the city always seem to have sex in the SAME city. I dont know if this is some sort of "repressed" trait or what. I feel it would be far more interesting if they had sex in lots of different cities,as variety is the spice of life and all that.

For obvious reasons I would not advocate New Orleans.

I once watched a whole episode of this soap,and I had the distinct notion that Miss P's head was actually too large for her body, like if you drew what you saw acurately an art teacher would say "dont be stupid, thats anatomically incorrect"

The upside to that would be that the art teacher would then go on to explain how usually in modern humanoids,the head is about 1/7 the size of the overall body.

That does not include high heels.

If a child drew a picture of Miss P accurately, I believe the childs mother would say "thats lovely dear,I will put it up on the fridge, now go and play nicely while mummy has her jazz time."

The downside would be the whole family may develop an eating disorder, as everytime they went into the fridge, they would subconciously associate food with developing an abnormal physique.

Saying that I would rather have an eating disorder than say, a disorder with my ears where every genre of music sounded like improvised jazz, that would be truly awfull.
I hope miss P's claims to not like jazz are genuine, and not just some girl excuse to go buy more shoes.

I haven't really watched the Sex in the City series until very recently I saw a couple. Done.

LindaR you didnt explain why Miss P doesn't like jazz..
If I "get caught" on the internet looking up "Sex in the city"
My misses will think I (a.) dont like her shoes anymore,or (b.)
think I am looking at other women.
Or (c.) may be developing an eating disorder.

Rostosky, I thought you might of watched the show and then made this topic. I guess I'm wrong you say. She didn't like Jazz because it didn't make sense or it wasn't melodic and then she meets a man who plays Jazz and she starts listening to Jazz and then when she breaks up with him she doesn't know why she ever liked Jazz. Now you have forced me to spoil the episode. I'm done okay?

So you hate jazz....
and have expressed it many times over in this thread
with arrogance,
a cowardly sense of humor and intelligence
in respect to
a vast spectrum of music.

I don't wish to be included in your #'s please.

Dara

i can't really get jiggy with jazz either. i believe that i will enjoy it more when i'm older. i'm only 26.

Okay, just curious! I will provisionally count miss P in then; Total in minority 33 (but may change back down to 32 if miss P meets another man who likes jazz, a member who will need "watching" for a while)
Anyways dont worry any over giving the plot away, I wont tell anyone I promise.
I am sorry for pressing you, I hope you will accept some of my granmas biscuits by way of apology. Unlike my Mum, my grandma can cook and bake to a high standard , she does have a "make do and mend" and "waste not want not" attitude left over from WWII though,

So sometimes the biscuits may contain what some may consider "unusual and innapropriate ingredients" but they taste nice, I can recomend them most highly,furthermore it's not that difficult to pick out the cat hairs.(she doesn't put them in on purpose,its just her eyesight isnt what it used to be since the jazz related accident)

As an aside, my gran was born before modern Jazz was invented,
so her biscuits can honestly be advertised as "organic" and "Impro free" in so far as they are baked whilst Vera lynn plays quietly in the background from her wind up gramaphone.

When asked she said she would be delighted to bake for 33 people. ( I did not bring up miss P from sitc, because I promised I wouldnt tell anyone and it's best not to mention s.e.x to my gran as she embarresses easy)

MY gran once got terrible wind from accidently hearing a clarinet solo on a glen miller album, so I think it best not to actually mention "jazz non appreciation society" as well.

Thing is, this will be hard to explain to her, I cant just say "gran can you bake for 33 members of a non specific organisation?" she aint totally daft...she will suspect something and may think its "Ruskies" or some other subversive cult.

If I say "gran can you just bake for 33 members of that club that dont like that thing" ( she will think "that thing " is s.e.x because she calls it that as well)

If I say "gran can you bake for 33 members of the group against non-specific improvisation?"

She may twig, and say "it's not modern jazz is it"

And there lies the dilemna, I cannot lie to my own gran and say "no."
But If I say "yes" even if its followed by a "but" like "yes but"
she may have a fatal seizure and then no one will get biscuits.
I feel my gran has earned the right not to like modern jazz the hard way, she only owns one pair of shoes (very sturdy Clarkes T bar) that she has mended and carefully polished since 1923.

No probs Dara, I will leave the offer of biscuits open in case you change your mind though.
I do love mostly every other type of music to Modern jazz so would point out that as there is more music that isnt modern jazz than is, I have actually championed the cause of the vast spectrum of music. I do thank you for saying I have expressed it with inteligence, I appreciate that.
Whilst I was posting the number went up to 34,because another member who is only 26 included himself.

I take your point on board about being a coward, I would not like to go fighting in wars mainly because I really, really like my legs.

I think landmines are terrible things and would not want to step on one by accident.
I do like watching Sharpe though,(sean bean) he is very brave, and goes fighting wars all the time, he usually wins as well overcoming great odds with just a sword sometimes against cannons. There is also a theme tune they sing usually just before fighting Napoleon or "boney" as they call him... Sharpe is ever so brave,I hope you agree.
the song is a medieval ballad though and not modern jazz..so you may not approve..

I don't understand jazz either. Don't hate it but I certainly rarely listen to it. To me it seems like a huge mess and I can't make sense of it at the moment.

why do I hate jazz?
By: Rostosky


Is it really your intention to initiate and prolong a 'hate' thread?

Surely you can do better,
in making a contribution to the diverse world of music.

How does your hate,
help anyone.

Cowardly sense of humor?
At least he has one.



How does your snarkyness help anyone?

If this "hate thread" bothers you then perhaps you should go spread your enlightened intolerance in another thread.

Sparky's feeling snarky?

I'm not really into hate.
I'll leave you be, with your enlightened tolerance for hate.

Then why do you keep opening the thread? I agree that it's being carried a little far, but if you don't like it, there's an easy solution. Don't open the thread and read the posts.