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A parent of a new 7 year old student asked me if her daughter (about 4years old) could sit in on the lesson. I had offered Legos in the next room but the child did not want to be alone.

I said "That would be too much for me." The parent accepted it and parent and 4 year old stayed outside the studio.

My response set a reasonable boundary I think. But I was essentially blaming myself ..."too much for me" implies that maybe someone else can deal with it, but I can't.

What do you say? Any suggestions? Maybe simply "It gets a bit crowded with more than one observer." Or "It gets distracting when another child is in the room."

Four year olds are distracting. Not their fault. They can't be expected to sit quietly. It's just going to be disruptive for the lesson.

Exactly. I tell parents that siblings sitting in on lessons is usually a distraction, either because the youngsters can't sit still, or sibling rivalry issues occur; Therefore for the best lesson result, one-on-one with no distractions is the way to go.

Thanks ten left thumbs and rocket88. I'll plan to tell parents that it would be a distraction and that a lesson without distractions gives the best results.

When starting seven year-olds, I insist that a parent be there in order to learn with us. I don't drop the parent out of the lesson until I know, for sure, that the child can work better on his/her own than with the parent, and with heads-parents, that takes awhile.

For instance, a child only seven (just barely seven) will not pick up the concepts I am teaching as quickly as a parent who does not have some kind of learning disability, and when the parent knows what I am doing, it goes much faster. I teach the parent how to be an assistant "home teacher".

I do not teach Suzuki. I am a fanatic about teaching reading from day one.

Four year olds? It depends on the child. It is not unusual at all for me to have a small one in the lesson. Some of the little ones are suprisingly quiet and will play with blocks or little toys.

I even started a six-year about three months ago, and I have a BABY in the room. Not easy, really very hard, but three months later we have gotten the student moving so fast that she is now taking lessons alone, mother and baby outside.

A baby is potentially much easier, though. You don't get the same sibling rivalry/embarrassment/performance anxiety factors with a baby.

Not easier when the baby is screaming.

There is that. Presumably the parent just picked up the baby and walked out the room?

That's pretty much it.

We worked with the baby and prayed for a calm day. When the baby got really loud, I had to work with just the child. But I usually got half a lesson with the mother observing, so that way I could finish up alone without worrying about the child having no help at home.

But we are already doing lessons together, just the child and I. Really nice family, child is advanced and wanted to work alone.

It's different with every young student. Some younger sisters and brothers are extremely well-behaved (the ones three or four years old) and often get psyched about taking lessons themselves.

When the younger sibling is badly behaved, usually there is a problem with boundaries/respect/listening in the whole family, and in such situations I'm not sure anything works.