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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 137
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I understand where Ando is coming from. I have always encouraged parents to sit in lessons especially for the younger ones. Sometimes it backfires when the parent is too talkative, plays cheerleader for the child( this is especially annoying when their child is playing badly due to poor practice!), or when parent gives answers for a question directed to the child. Also I find extremely annoying is when parent who knows how to play, meddles with lessons and gives the student new material to learn often before anything is perfected -also material that is much harder than the student`s level. These parents think that their child is a genius when the child is badly hacking through a piece that is not his level. How do I deal with this? Anyone???
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Joined: Apr 2005
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Oh, you would have loved me.  I was one of those who would occasionally introduce new material that was harder than what was being assigned. I accept that this can be a problem, especially if (as you say) the child is not capable of playing his or her current work at a technically accurate level. Then the result can indeed be a "bad hacking" through the more complex "unassigned" work. In my own defense, I would do this over the summer when the teacher did not give lessons. I would use the summer to explore and to push new ideas. My son would often come back in the fall with a new piece or two either completed or in the polishing phase. As an example, one summer we jumped from Le Petit Negre level to Golliwog's Cakewalk. I thought he could handle it, and I was willing to try teaching it. Amazing how a student can make technical leaps by having essentially a daily lesson (or supervised practice, if you will). And when the student recognizes the leaps they're making, they become more exited about learning. The following summer we jumped into Prokofiev's Romeo and Juliet Suite (Montagues & Capulets). That was a sizable jump, but it worked. His teacher would then get another idea of what level of music was appropriate/possible. She learned on occasion that she could pick up the pace as she saw the summer development. And none of this has anything to do with being some sort of genius.
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Joined: Aug 2009
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As a parent, I sit in every of my child's lessons, either taking notes or listening carefully to what the teacher taught and my son's playing. However I seldom interfere with the lesson, unless the teacher explicitly ask me to get involved.
One thing a lot of teachers do not realize is that the parents can be educated at the same time by sitting in the lesson, especially for someone like me who did not have any music background. From knowing nothing when my son started, I kept up with his progress, and am able to educate myself to at least appreciate the music to his level of playing. Educating myself really helped my son at lot on his practice, judging from his rapid progress which is unusual for a child in a family without any music background.
Last edited by cinstance; 06/10/11 11:46 AM.
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 137
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I think at the end of the day it is about the boundary of how far a parent gets involved. I absolutely like the parent who is helpful and makes sure the kid practices according to my instruction. I am very open to suggestions, don`t get me wrong. The boundary is broken when the parent plays teacher in class. I have a student who has no foundation at all because the parent who plays piano meddles in class so much. This child plays horribly because he does no finger exercises or scales, has skipped the gradual progress and the parent completely ignores my instruction and gives him what the parent thinks he should learn. The result is a child( a rude kid who has no respect for me) who hacks through pieces badly at recitals. This child does NOT like to be corrected however kindly I do it. This parent also thinks that this boy played the best in a recital and actually compared him to another child who played his last year`s recital pieces and said "Well, Johnnie played that last year and he played it much better". In fact I have absolutely no idea why they take lessons from me! Like I said, parents are welcome in class by most teachers but they have to know their boundaries and respect the teacher`s teaching or switch teachers or teach their their own kid.
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 137
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Piano Dad, I have no problem with parents like you. If I was in your shoes, I would do the same thing. Sure, if your child is not taking lessons in the summer, by all means teach him some new material that is challenging. I am talking about parents who completely ignore the teacher`s instructions. Those are the parents who have over-stepped their respectful boundary. I am one of those teachers who actually like giving challenging material to students that can live up to it and who are not going to throw a tantrum when I correct their mistakes and who don`t mind playing measures over and over again to refine. Parents who sit in a class should be helpful to the teacher and not hinder lessons. I used to have a mom who would repeat whatever I said like a parrot. Would you all believe that I am actually tolerant? I think it is because I have understanding people in this pianoworld forum to vent ....LOVE YOU GUYS!!! Thank you! I also have the ability to put myself in the parent`s position to see why they behave in such a way. Most of the time it is because they are youtube watchers who are wondering how come their child is not playing a Chopin Concerto or a Ballade at 9 yrs old. So they get impatient with the gradual progress.
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 365
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This is interesting.
My oldest daughter (now 7) has been having piano lessons for a couple of years and I've always sat in her lessons.
Her first teacher was a little inexperienced and didnt really know how to direct her - the lessons were fun and he did a lot to build her enthusiasm and self-confidence. In the end lessons fell into a rhythm of him directing stuff - but frequently asking me questions about stuff (including how daughter had practiced and learnt stuff, but also worringly what various basic italian terms meant!). Eventually it became clear daughter had outgrown his teaching abilities and we moved on.
Now I still sit in her lessons, but am pretty much a passive observer rather than part of a 'teaching team'. Its still good to hear exactly whats being covered in lessons though as it does let me know what she's supposed to be working on in her practice.
With our younger daughter though - she's just started having lessons (nearly 5yrs old) and to start off with I sat in her lessons. NOTHING got doe, she wouldnt focus or engage at all with the teacher. It was infuriating as at home she's keen to sit at the piano and dow what she can. SHe just refused to do anything in front of the teacher.
After a few frustrating weeks we were just about to abandon the whole lessons thing writing it off as 'too young'. BUT the teacher suggested trying it without me in the room. 30 minutes later they came out and the teacher said, "Wow - what a transformation! She played everything I asked she read some notes and is obviously pretty good for her age". We havent looked back - and lessons are now a great success. I have far less of an idea what goes on in her lessons than her sisters - but it seems to be working for HER.
Parent....
Orchestral Viola player (stictly amateur)....
Hack Pianist.... (faded skills from glory days 20 yrs ago)
Vague Guitar & Bass player.... (former minor income stream 15 yrs ago)
Former conductor... (been a long time since I was set loose with a magic wand!)
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 137
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 137 |
This is interesting.
My oldest daughter (now 7) has been having piano lessons for a couple of years and I've always sat in her lessons.
Her first teacher was a little inexperienced and didnt really know how to direct her - the lessons were fun and he did a lot to build her enthusiasm and self-confidence. In the end lessons fell into a rhythm of him directing stuff - but frequently asking me questions about stuff (including how daughter had practiced and learnt stuff, but also worringly what various basic italian terms meant!). Eventually it became clear daughter had outgrown his teaching abilities and we moved on.
Now I still sit in her lessons, but am pretty much a passive observer rather than part of a 'teaching team'. Its still good to hear exactly whats being covered in lessons though as it does let me know what she's supposed to be working on in her practice.
With our younger daughter though - she's just started having lessons (nearly 5yrs old) and to start off with I sat in her lessons. NOTHING got doe, she wouldnt focus or engage at all with the teacher. It was infuriating as at home she's keen to sit at the piano and dow what she can. SHe just refused to do anything in front of the teacher.
After a few frustrating weeks we were just about to abandon the whole lessons thing writing it off as 'too young'. BUT the teacher suggested trying it without me in the room. 30 minutes later they came out and the teacher said, "Wow - what a transformation! She played everything I asked she read some notes and is obviously pretty good for her age". We havent looked back - and lessons are now a great success. I have far less of an idea what goes on in her lessons than her sisters - but it seems to be working for HER. I have a similar student and you have confirmed both mine and another teacher`s opinion about the need for a parent to leave the child alone in class when the parent in class is not helping the situation. Trouble is my student`s parent does not want to leave because the parent thinks that their presence is not the problem. Very tricky subject for a teacher to deal with.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 350
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I find that most parents that sit on on lessons these days don't really pay attention, because they are looking at their iphones. This is only a problem when the thing rings and they answer it. Really! Too different sets of parents recently have had a conversation with someone (always an emergency) on their phone in the kitchen. One of the parents reads the news and will comment about it. This is interspersed with comments to the child about forgetting this book or that. Really, I don't think they are getting much from being there and it is a distraction for me and the child. And if they are not really involved in the child's practice at home, how does it help? I tell parents they are welcome to come, but, I have gotten to the point where I don't really encourage it. 5 minutes at the end is great, to just give them a summary of what we did and what the child should be working on.
Working on:
Chopin: Barcarolle
Schubert: Sonata D959
Rachmaninoff: Daisies
Lutoslawski: Paganini Variations for 2 pianos
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 3,336
3000 Post Club Member
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3000 Post Club Member
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 3,336 |
After a few frustrating weeks we were just about to abandon the whole lessons thing writing it off as 'too young'. BUT the teacher suggested trying it without me in the room. 30 minutes later they came out and the teacher said, "Wow - what a transformation! She played everything I asked she read some notes and is obviously pretty good for her age". We havent looked back - and lessons are now a great success. I have far less of an idea what goes on in her lessons than her sisters - but it seems to be working for HER.
Sounds like she was embarrassed, with you in the room, to make her own relationship with the teacher. Or maybe the teacher was embarrassed. Maybe a vicious circle with everyone's mutual embarrassment feeding off of each other's. Glad you found a way out!
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 192
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I used to have a student's mom that would raise her hand, and shout "I know, I know!" when I asked her daughter musical questions pertaining to her pieces or theory work. It was thoroughly annoying! She would also "spoon feed" her daughter answers when she was doing theory. I had to "bite my tongue" and bear with it for several years, till her daughter finally advanced to a stage where she could not longer be of "help". So, be patient, and hang in there! Best wishes!
Ps. The positive side of it, is those parents usually are very supportive of their kids music learning, and try to take an active role.
JN
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 192
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I find that most parents that sit on on lessons these days don't really pay attention, because they are looking at their iphones. This is only a problem when the thing rings and they answer it. Really! Haha! I had a father who sat in her daughter's lessons regularly, reading newspaper and farting on numerous occasions, and did not even blink an eye nor apologized!
JN
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,352
4000 Post Club Member
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4000 Post Club Member
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I had a lady clip her nails during the lesson. Others have texted non-stop.
Blues and Boogie-Woogie piano teacher.
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 8,949
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Others have texted non-stop. That one doesn't bother me.
Private Piano Teacher and MTAC Member
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,352
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Others have texted non-stop. That one doesn't bother me. When they are sitting very near (small studio room), I find it distracting. If they were a bit further away, it would not.
Blues and Boogie-Woogie piano teacher.
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