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You know what to expect when you hear "It has been moved quite a few times since it was last tuned." You can expect a spinet that needs a pitch raise.

Others?

"It's not too bad, but some of the hammers hit more than one note" = It's absolutely terrible, at least a semitone flat, with rows of loose pins. Probably a straight-strung overdamper.

"The last guy who came to tune the piano told me he couldn't tune it...something about a broken soundboard, or something like that. He said I should haul it to the dump. But the case looks so nice..." Old Kimball upright. Soundboard fine...plate broken.

"it's in really good condition but the seller knocked a load of money off on account of that it needs a really good tune"

oh dear

I have a little spindle piano someone gave me. It hasn't been tuned in 30 years. I got that call today. Wanted to tell them what they could do with it but refrained.

We're so lucky that the last owners of this house we bought left the piano - could you come tune it, please?

Oh yes, I got that call. Could you come and tune my Warren upright grand the previous owners left it. I Looked closely at the action and recommended new bridal straps.They said ok and then took out the action to blow out the debris, the punchings were all rotten and eaten by mice. Mouse nest in bottom of piano. I was already into it so with the owners we reevaluated and I spent two full days on a piano that should have been scrapped but the children love it and it does sound pretty good. i'll know better next time!!!
Leo Todd

Or... I bought an old piano and the house came with it.

Having just walked through the door...

"Eeeerm, how long will this take? I need to go out in fifteen minutes..."

"I leave you to it...I'll just put the dishwasher/washing machine on and I'm going out to do the shopping" (Heard in Australia)

"I'll leave the back door open for you. The German Shepherd barks a lot, but just say his name and he'll lick you to death."

That one had me giggling for hours.

"It's a valuable antique... right?"

"My aunt was a concert pianist and this Betsy Ross spinet was her favorite piano."

"It's a Kimball that was built by Steinway."

good Grief! a first grade teacher in neighborhood called me in to tune a piano that had rolled off a truck in Kansas,... no lie... plate was in pieces, so of course I advised her she needed to let tension off strings and find a dump.... A few years later I had a phone call from new owners of same property who had inherited this great piano....
Do people not understand the danger? That is where understanding physics comes in. SM