Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Piano Teachers Forum Did you ever drop student b/c of parent?

Yes, it can work with serious students who possess the discipline and desire to follow assignments and practice regularly. The majority of my students come to lessons with ten reasons why they didn't practice much during the school year. Then summer comes, and with it, the ability to really put in the practice hours, and many of them drop to "take a break" or are involved in camps, vacations, and a variety of other new excuses why they didn't practice. Those are the students who should not do 2 lessons a month.

These things are not necessarily 'excuses'. Kids do have things in their lives besides playing the piano. While the school summer break might be a great time to catch up on piano practice, it's a great time for other things as well, and for the same reason.

chasingrainbows, I would say "I'm sorry for the change in plans, but teaching every other week is not going to work for me after all. I can give you contact information for other teachers if you'd like."

I like your idea of saying you'll have to check your schedule (in the future) and get back with them. I too have made the mistake of thinking I always have to give an immediate answer. "I'll think it over, check my schedule and get back with you" is a reasonable response. I've learned to use this concept in another situation (with a family member with hypochondria who continually tries to get me to take her to doctor appointments).

For this particular situation it's too late to change, but with all your other students, the only reminder of your policy should be that they pay you for the lesson in question. Polite reminders, if you make them, MUST come with a bill attached every time; otherwise they function as reminders that the real policy is "students have a lesson whenever they want one".

Yes, for my private students, I go to their home. I should have stopped being flexible with this parent long ago. She was annoyed b/c the recital conflicted with a picnic she had to run. They arrived late, and scooted out right after the student played. I will be glad to be rid of them.

We all have dealt with people like that, now and then. But the sooner you sever teaching relationships with them, the better. They are never pleased, they argue about everything and they do not PAY!!!

And what's even more ironic is that they live in a mansion in a very upscale neighborhood. My fee is a mere pittance to this family.

It's ironic, but it is also VERY common. To such people we are nothing more than servants. This is why I much prefer working with parents who are struggling. I get far more respect from them, and in general their children take lessons much more seriously.

The problem with teaching in other people's homes is that there is no "turf" for the teacher. For me such situations generally put me in a weak position: people at the door, phones ringing, friends coming in and out during lessons, siblings, etc.

That's why I totally gave up teaching in other people's homes MANY years ago!

David, what do you mean "it's too late too change"? Do you think I must now go along with the parent's request for every other week lessons?

I am very thankful I never started teaching in homes. I honestly can't believe people do this!

That rings familiar.

I guess I never really thought about it, but you are absolutely right--my students whose parents are middle or upper middle class are conscientious, rarely miss lessons and are very respectful, as are the parents. This family calls at the last minute, expects make ups or credits, and it seems everything else in their lives is priority over piano lessons and practicing. And I have to ask to be paid, whereas my other parents have the check waiting. It's been very annoying.

There are pro's and con's to teaching in the student's home. I include all possible issues that may arise, in my studio policy (as many as I can think of, that is). It was a starting point in my teaching career until I accumulated more students at the local music store. I don't have the room yet for my own studio, and I'm not even sure that would work for me.

I mentioned elsewhere a situation in which I decided to go to a home. It was quite some time ago, but the experience was excellent. I simply think that we need to be VERY careful to protect ourselves, and one way to do it is to make sure we get paid in advance, that we stick to our policies, and that we do not allow ourselves to be treated as servants!

To all who responded: I contacted the parent in question and of course, they didn't answer, so i left a message that I was unable to schedule every other week lessons and if and when they were ready to begin weekly lessons, they could contact me. I also extended wishes to them for an enjoyable summer. No return call. And I am relieved. It's so very hard to let go of students. But the longer I teach, the easier it is getting. I can understand why so many teachers include a no make up policy.

chasingrainbows,
Thanks for the update. Congratulations on getting closure with this problem.

I would exit, as I have encountered the same. I call it the extra musical dramas.

I had a quirky situation with a parent, where she was recommended by one of my current student's moms and lived a stone's throw from my studio. Little did I know that she was interviewing other teachers, until the end of what she termed a "trial lesson." The child, age 7, literally HATED the piano as evidenced by her behavior. Was studying with another teacher for about 9 months, and apparently mom thought the current teacher was not "clicking" with her daughter. Frankly, I could see why the teacher would not "click" with this student given her attitude, and reluctance to take piano in the first place.
When all was said and done, I was to "await" mom's decision about the lessons.. Well, I found the whole scenario not to my liking, and as soon as I got home from the Bay area, E-mailed the mom, with Subject Title "My Decision," which obviously precluded hers. I see a lot of this "trying out teachers" with the primer kids, and a lot of these parents think the grass is greener over the fence. Rather than tell the child to practice thoughtfully as the current teacher recommends, many parents would rather look for the Garden of Eden.

Sorry, I didn't see your question when you wrote it. I meant that with this student, it's a bit late to start enforcing your policy now, because you've let them get away with not following it for so long - but with your newer students, don't ever let them get that way in the first place.

You are so right. Once students or (parents of young students) get used to stretching rules, it's impossible to change things.

I don't mind making acceptions for people who are appreciative and show me respect, but when I feel "pushed" by people who take advantage and who do not show me respect, they will not get anything extra out of me, including an extra 30 seconds of lesson time. With those people I give them exactly what they pay for, and nothing more.

It becomes hard for me when I'm working with children who are appreciative and respectful, but their *parents* are not.

Applause..