The first four piano caption contests were great fun - and proved that there are more than a few clever and funny people among us. This Contest #5 has been a long time coming, partly because I've been busy helping Faust Harrison Pianos build and open two new showrooms and a new piano factory, but mostly because my material ran dry. Fortunately, a friend just sent me a gem from the Albany Times Union. It is SCREAMING for a great caption.

http://www.timesunion.com/default/photo/Ed-August-inspects-the-flood-damage-to-his-1569434.php

First prize for the best submitted caption is a guided tour (by Your's Truly) of our new piano restoration center in White Plains, NY. Good luck to everyone.

"Well the last piece I wrote was for burning piano."

That's what I get for trying to interpret that Muddy Waters' blues song too literally.

When I played this piece at the Burning Man festival two weeks ago they loved it!

I hired you to turn the pages for my piano music...not my PIANO onto its MUSIC PAGES?!?!

"If those kids from the University are gonna keep playing those damned wacky John Cage prepared-piano pieces they're just going to have to find somewhere else to practice!"

"Do you think a Dampp Chaser would help?"

I've heard of a slow page turner but this just takes it to a whole new level.

Burn baby burn, piano inferno... (Sung to the tune of disco inferno)

Only YOU can prevent piano fires.

No wonder it didn't sound right; I was supposed to play F#.

In case you did not click the Times Union link, the real caption reads:

"Ed August inspects the flood damage to his concert grand piano in the salon of his Wedgewwood bed and breakfast in the Village of Schoharie Thursday Sept. 1, 2011."

I had a few customers in the Schoharie Valley lose their pianos in the floods from Tropical Storm Irene. I can find no humor in this photo.

"Yep, the warranty just ran out."

Can anyone tell what kind of piano it is? The plate looks Steinway (I think).

Very sad. I hope he has a good insurance policy on the piano.

I feel sorry for the guy. Is that his own composition he is peeling off? My caption would be, " Honey,....cancel the tuning appointment"

Damn. That IS really sad. I didn't read the link. Thanks for shedding light...

I wouldn't be surprised if many folks' insurance doesn't cover hurricane/flood damage... it is a terrible thing.

But in the spirit of humor being a way of coping, how about:

"Handel's water music was not meant for piano."

I've heard of playing in a fluid style, but this is rediculous.

From the photo, I assume it is a Steinway B. Can't tell if it is any bigger, but it is a Steinway B or D.

"See how dirt and moisture accumulate and clog up the piano's working components!"
"Call in my tuner-tech already!!"


Actually, this is quite sad. How many other pianos have been inundated, just like this one?

BTW, it seems to be a "D", as the original picture caption said "concert Grand piano".

This is very saddening to see
Best wishes to the affected

"Bit of WD40 on the flanges and she'll be good as new."

Irving,

I'm assuming the reason you started this thread is so you can show off the "after" photos when you finish the restoration

"Repairs for things like sticking keys and buzzing strings are common for acoustic pianos. Digitals require no maintenance and are very durable and reliable." - Gyro

"My wife is going to kill me!"

"Setting the piano on fire was not worth the spiritual ascension, Jimi!"

Meh! I tried! I'm alluding to Hendrix, of course.

"As you can see, my piano playing burns with passion."

All jokes aside, I am very sorry to hear about the flood damage! Hope everything works out and they can eventually purchase a new grand.

It's been ages since i've looked at this!

The Bass break has me thinking it's a "B"

Hmmmm... I can't figure out if it's the tempo or the chord changes that's making this piece so damn hard to play!

Agree.

I've helped clean up stricken areas after major hurricanes, tornadoes and floods and the last type of disaster has always been the worst.

I just want to cry looking at this knowing that not only is the piano destroyed, but also everything surrounding it. (Note the black mold on the walls)

The music there on the piano? I'm going with "Cry Me a River".