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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 565
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I’m glad you and the mom can work things out. It’s not surprising to me at all that the mom doesn’t realize that her daughter is very talented. Parents who don’t have a music background can be quite wrong in this regard, some think their “average†kids (if one dares use this word) are quite talented, some look at what their talented kids do and think that everyone can do just that. It takes a while, but observant and thoughtful parents eventually will figure out what is considered normal and what is considered very unusual at each stage…
Another way to discipline the kid is to use the “if you do a really good job at chores you will get x minutes of extra piano time†strategy. It might just work.
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Joined: Aug 2007
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Your story is similar to the many battles I'd have to fight against parents, not students! Most students are fine. It's harder to convince/educate the parents in these isolated cases.
I hope it all works out for you!
Private Piano Teacher and MTAC Member
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Joined: Jul 2003
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You can also ask her the girl what her chores are and teach her to do them faster.
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 131
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OP
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 131 |
If the girl is bright and self-directed, wouldn't it be good for the girl to know she has to make time for her other chores, and have her get a handle on her time? I mean in the sense of making sure her other things being done. A practice log would be deadening. If you are being inspired by what you are doing, getting insights, and you have to start reporting everything you do, then you can no longer concentrate on the music in the same way. Practice logs are good for people who don't want to do things.
I raised two self-motivated kids. Although it was in a homeschooling context some of what we did might still be useful. There were things they had to do, such as reading, spelling, math., and chores, and other things they were allowed to do which were the things they were interested in. They knew they could do the second once the first was done (which also had to be done correctly). So they found the most efficient way of doing what they had to do, and did it well. Then they had as much time as they wanted for the other things. I actually agree, which is why I never use practice logs. However, sometimes we have to make compromises with parents. All I want her to write is start time/end time. I'm not interested in being her mother -- I just want Mom to let her keep taking lessons!
Piano teacher since 1995
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Joined: Apr 2007
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OP
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You can also ask her the girl what her chores are and teach her to do them faster.  I like this idea. She could practice doing them at my house. It might take her years to master them and then I would have more time to practice!
Piano teacher since 1995
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She's only seven. I think you could expect her to make her bed, side on and off the table, and feed the cat. But she sounds like a terrific student!
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Joined: Feb 2010
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Congrats on working out a deal! Let's hope that it works
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Joined: Jan 2012
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Make sure that mom gets regular positive feedback from you. She sounds clueless. Maybe invite her to sit in on an occasional lesson.
If she gets weird on you again, just ask that lessons at least continue through the academic year, instead of ending abruptly.
But congratulations for turning this around. And enjoy that student: she sounds wonderful to work with!
Peter
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Joined: Jan 2012
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Newbie question: I just tried to edit my prior post. I clicked the "Edit" box, and drafted something. Then when I went to post it, the software said that too much time had elapsed to allow for editing.
How much time is allowed for editing? And why would an "Edit" box appear under my prior post if there is no longer time available for editing?
Thanks for the advice,
Peter
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Joined: Feb 2010
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5000 Post Club Member
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Peter,
I think your question is way off topic (which is the original question of the poster, also referred to as OP). It would be better if you find an appropriate thread matching your question or posting your question in a new thread.
Last edited by wouter79; 01/08/12 03:07 PM.
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Joined: May 2007
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How much time is allowed for editing? I think the window of opportunity is only a few hours. And why would an "Edit" box appear under my prior post if there is no longer time available for editing? I have no idea on that one! But PW is full of little mysteries. 
Du holde Kunst...
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Joined: Jun 2011
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4000 Post Club Member
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If this site works like another site I frequent, the edit window can still be open when you click the edit button and start editing, but expire while you're composing your edit.
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 4,264
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Mum is obviously a "Muggle" (Potter lingo) ...
what I can't fathom is how such inartistic parents bear such remarkable offspring.
But then, as Piano Teacher, one is constantly
aware of the drag of a Muggle on any student's prospect of advancement. Without an encouraging voice on the home front, the path
becomes that much steeper.
Mum should be led away to the stocks should she dare to curb this child's piano lessons.
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Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 148
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Full Member
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btb, are you a parent yourself? I ask because, if you were, you would know that as a parent there are a million and one things a parent is responsible for toward that child's upbringing, not just to cater for the child's piano needs. If said child is neglecting other things in life such as chores (and times for being a kid?) then isn't it appropriate for the parent to take action? In my child years my parents would target things I enjoyed (going out to play with other kids mostly) normally through 'grounding' me for a day or two.
As for leading the "Muggle" (whatever that is) to the stocks, well......
Sometimes you have to look a little deeper than just through the eyes of a piano teacher. As shocking as it may be to some, there is, actually, more to life than piano.
Neil.
Venables & Son Custom 133 Upright Acoustic Piano Yamaha DGX-640 Digital Piano Started learning: October 2011 Started lessons: January 2012 YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/user/neildradford
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Joined: Dec 2010
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I dont usually post here (I'm not a piano teacher)...
Not only can she play piano, but since she "fools around" (transposes, makes up different endings, introductions, etc), I suggest she try composing, as well as continuing playing piano.
1942 Baldwin M
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 565
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500 Post Club Member
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There is actually another possibility why the mom doesn’t see that her daughter is gifted. Of course this is pure guessing, but it is possible that the mom herself is gifted musically but simply has not had the chance to develop the gift. This is a common pattern, mentioned by experts of gifted education in books on how to parent gifted children, in families where both parents and kids are gifted: whatever the kids can do just doesn’t seem so out of the ordinary in the parents’ eyes. So in some cases a gifted kid is actually appreciated less by her own parents than by “outsidersâ€.
Sometimes it can take quite a bit of time for a parent to believe that her kid is talented. Maybe after listening to a lot of youtube videos, maybe after going to enough recitals and realizing what “average†kids do… I’d give this mom the benefit of the doubt, especially because she is open-minded enough to discuss with the teacher and change her mind upon new information.
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Joined: Mar 2011
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Someone please define a "muggle"- I can't keep up with all the new words invented in movies today..
(sorry to sideline a bit)
I don't care too much for money. For money can't buy me love.
-the Beatles
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 4,291
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4000 Post Club Member
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A muggle is an ordinary non-wizard person, as compared to the wizards. It's from the Harry Potter series.
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