I have had this student for about three months. When she first started with me, she did not have an instrument at all. Her parents didn’t want to invest in a keyboard right off the bat so they have been renting a keyboard from the studio where I teach. The keyboard is crap. Only 38 keys, and they aren’t weighted or even pressure sensitive, so she can’t play any dynamic changes. I can tell when she comes in for her lesson that she has a hard time adjusting to the baby grand at the studio, and I also have a feeling that she isn’t enjoying her experience as much as she could if she had something more enjoyable to practice on. So I emailed her mom and told her that at this point she is doing pretty good but it is time for an upgrade. I told her that taking piano lessons and having to practice on that keyboard is like playing soccer with a beach ball. You can get the basic idea of the sport, but if you want to keep pursuing soccer, you have to invest in an actual soccer ball!

The annoying thing is that the mom didn’t respond to my email. Instead she had her daughter tell me at her next lesson, “my mom says she doesn’t want to buy a new keyboard.”

I feel like I’m between a rock and a hard place because the parent is not being cooperative with good communication with me, and I foresee the student quitting soon anyway because of the general apathetic attitude towards the whole situation, which is unfortunate because I feel like the student could do much better with an appropriate instrument.

I feel like I should email the mom back and ask her to have some sort of dialogue with me so we can discuss the situation, but maybe I should just let it go, teach the student as best I can, and not be surprised when she quits?

In my experience, students like this won't last very long in piano lessons. They can be the sweetest/smartest kids in the world, but their parents just don't care enough about piano or music education to make the investment.

Pick your battles.

Perhaps the parents can't afford a better instrument, or have nowhere to put one, or don't know where to buy one, or what to buy. Seems a shame to write off the family without knowing what the problem is.

Maybe offer up some alternatives? They may think you are asking for several hundred dollar investment, when $150 for a crappy old spinet will do.

I think you should have phoned the mother in the first place. But now you can phone her and say exactly what you said in the email. But what is your bottom line? My guess is that you have little say if you're working for a studio. So I'd check with the boss first about their policy on students without pianos.

I wouldn't consider a $150 crappy old spinet much of an alternative. The lesser of two evils perhaps, but not much of an alternative.

Was this discussed at the time lessons began? The quality of the piano is an item discussed in my policy document. I usually give students 6 months on a keyboard, then they must upgrade.

Try teaching Clementi Sonatinas on a keyboard. That must be one of the highlights of my career. I finally talked the kid's parents (both are medical doctors) into buying a real piano, and all they got was this lousy 40-year-old Yamaha fit for a landfill.

I told her at our first lesson that I think the studio keyboards are okay to start with but I don't like them as a long term option. I didn't tell her an upgrade would be "required."

People are giving away upright pianos on craigslist. They just want them out of their livingrooms. I'll bring this up to her but again I have a feeling that she just doesn't care. She's one of those parents who I see at the first lesson then the student comes in by herself every week and I never see or talk to the parent after that. She never comes in to check up on her.

kevinb, my email to her was brief and basic, I didn't provide details about her options, I just asked if we could discuss it and I would tell her about some affordable options in the area. But she didn't even respond, like she didn't care to even consider it.

Candywoman, I am an independent contractor at a studio, so I make my own rules regarding this situation. The studio just offers keyboard rentals for the students. I like it and hate it because it gives the students a chance to try it out, but the keyboards suck!

Be very cautious about free pianos. They are usually not worth what you pay for them. And, yes, you do pay for them. You pay to move them and you pay to tune them. At least I hope you do. Often they are so shot out that they won't hold a tune. Then you just payed to have it moved and are stuck with a 500 pound piano shaped object in your living room that sounds like poo.
I did get a marginally decent Baldwin Acrosonic for free, but most of what you see for free is crap.

You can rent pianos.

I say have a talk with the parents and threaten to drop the student. Don't wait for the student to get frustrated and decide they don't like it. That would be the real shame. I would rather put the responsibility squarely on the shoulders of the parents where it belongs.

Drop the student. You can also tell the student to go tell her mother "My teacher said that you should find me a new teacher if you refuse to buy me a proper piano to practice on".

I LOL'd at this. Thanks



Exactly, you mentioned they were renting a studio keyboard. I'm not sure what that means, but why no rent a digital piano or an acoustic one if there's room in their space? I wouldn't threaten to drop them for it, because it's much better if they decide to stop on their own, then there's no hard feelings, and *you* know why they quit (they didn't take your advice).

The situation is what it is. There's a reason why the parents have not purchased or rented a piano, and it may boil down to financial reasons. I think you need to call the parent, instead of e-mailing. In sticky situations like this, parents are far less receptive to e-mail than they are over the phone. So much can get lost in translation in e-mail.

Once you find out the reason, and whether the family has any remote intent of purchasing a piano, you can decide whether the student meets the qualifications to continue studying with you. I would recommend adding an instrument requirement to your studio policy so that parents understand upfront that they will have to invest in a decent instrument.

I tend to agree with you here, and yet there are exceptions. There are extraodinary students who have parents who are totally strapped financially.

We have discussed this at length in many threads. Often the parents CAN afford something better, so the choices not to do something are bogus.

However, I have four students right now who have very inferior instruments, but I would not dream of stopping lessons with any of them.

I have had students on terrible instruments for six months or longer who obviously were hard-working and serious, and in such cases the parents seem to "come around".

I once had a very poor family where the daughter played on a terrible 61 key unweighted keyboard, no sustain, and we made do for almost two years. The mother was a single mom, and each week she looked dead. It was a huge matter for her to pay for lessons. The girl stayed with me all the way through high school, eventually got a piano, and was an absolute GEM, nicest human being you could hope to meet, always appreciative, always prepared.

So we just never NEVER know for sure.

I had a student very similar to this, who had a keyboard for 2 years. He was a very sweet boy and struggled with practicing mostly due to being on an inferior instrument. His mom finally was able to get a piano for him and his progress was much better after that.

It is difficult to know, and perhaps it is no our business. Some people are very private about their financial situation. However, there are options out there like www.musiclinkfoundation.org that tries to get free instruments to students who cannot afford them. The OP may want to look into joining just for these kinds of instances.

I think it would be nice of you, merely for the sake of the poor student, to call the parent and see if you can open dialogue about a new piano. It will be immediately clear if the answer is a straight NO, regardless of reason.
However, there is at least a small chance of convincing them (parents) to either rent or purchase a less-expensive acoustic.

As a parent (and don't get me wrong, I can't imagine NOT playing on a nice acoustic or purchasing a quality instrument for my kid), I think this needs to be a voiced discussion, NEVER e-mail or message via the kid. Things get misinterpreted and rarely resolved.

I vote to "try" once more, for the kids sake- unless you think the kid hates piano

I agree that this issue is best discussed prior to starting lessons.

I will not start lessons with someone who has an inadequate instrument. In my policy and on my website I explain what an adequate instrument is. (88 weighted keys, working pedal, all keys working)

Before I had this policy, I briefly taught from a music store. I had an 11 year old who was small for her age start lessons. Her parents had already bought her a keyboard that had smaller than standard size keys. I encouraged the dad (a doctor) to purchase an instrument with standard size keys. He chose not to.

She worked hard, but ended lessons after one year. I think it was likely the poor instrument that spoiled her joy in learning.

Also, I see no problem with giving advice by email. So maybe one more attempt to explain the importance of an adequate instrument. Otherwise, at this point, having already accepted her and the instrument, I'd probably just wait it out. They're likely to quit within the year. If it's a waste of the parents time and money, it's their loss. You can chalk it up to experience and next time handle the issue prior to the start of lessons.

Yes, there are exceptions. There is always an exception. Its your call whether or not to waste your time with exceptions. Sometimes its worth the time spent, sometimes not. The child might go on to be the world's next Ian Thorpe if you dropped her from piano (and if the parent decides to take her to the local swimming pool instead), you never know. So that argument really doesn't hold. However, if it makes YOU feel better if you tried harder to reason with the parent, do so by all means. If the parent simply doesn't have the financial ability to purchase a piano, then the parent needs to at least learn how to respectfully communicate with the teacher (not by passing on messages via the daughter). One can be poor but one can also be honorable and respectful at the same time.

In my (albeit limited) experience, this is what happens most of the time. Its almost never the money. Its the attitude that's the problem. I know people who earn $200K a year (in small towns in the midwest) who refuse to pay $10 per hour for music lessons. They try negotiate "you teach my kid for free and I'll try and promote your business in my locality and you will have 10 students soon" (I'm not exaggerating, this has actually happened with music teachers I know).

Ok, this bugs me on two levels. First off, there was a specific story of a single mother whose child always came prepared, and both student and parent did their very best. How your response about "wasting time" fits with this:

is beyond me. Nor does a reminder about respect fit.

It bothers me when people make responses without reading the whole post. It creates confusion, and discourages carefully writing of ideas. It happens too often in forums, which is why many of them deteriorate.

Secondly, anyone who has been in the situation of poverty at any time is heartened to read views other than "fire the student". To see that taking a chance on someone is "wasting time" is not a nice thing to see. If you have a rich kid whose parents are pushing him into umpteen activities, and the kid doesn't care about piano - is that not a greater waste of time?

It's the absoluteness that bothers me.

keystring, maybe you should begin to read posts better too. I was refering to the OP's post and how the mom wasn't exactly respectful in how she chose to communicate to the teacher about her refusal to buy a piano. That is the context in which I used the word "respectful". Read better before you chastise others.

Yes, the rich kid pushed into the activity is a greater waste of time. What's your point?

Here keystring, let me help you quote complete chunks of people's posts rather than just the bits that make your argument seem sensible:



Now go back and read the OP's post.

Your response was not to the OP. The main point the poster made was not only that there are exceptions, but he gave an example of such an exception. It is not a waste of time.

Be kind and don't drop the student is all I can say with the limited information presented here.

My response was not to the specific situation but a general thing and how it came across. I am sure that TJF will know what to do best. As a parent, the mother's response and how it was delivered did bother me.

I can't imagine why a studio would consider renting a 38 key keyboard. Do they have 88 key digitals for rent instead? Many stores rent them.



Can you teach her on an upright with a lighter action? Or a digital with a lighter action?

I would not write any student off for having a bad piano. Many artists have practiced on lousy pianos in the beginning.

I understand why you are upset, based on your PM. So I will say nothing more except that you misunderstood. My comment about the need for the mom to be respectful was clearly in response to the OP, though it was written while I was adding on to a discussion started by Gary (?). I showed you the full quote (whereas you chose to quote only a part of it) where that much was clear. If you do not want to be in the way of the discussion, its best that you let it go. What I said is what I stand by.

L85, the confusion came because your post started in quoting part of a long post which clearly set out that there exceptions which are valid exceptions, but then continued on the theme of the OP's story. That happens often, but usually I catch it in time.

We can never be sure about what is in front of us or how things will turn out. The best we can do is have an idea based on experience and probability, but hopefully never with such certainty that we close the door completely on other possibilities. There is always the unknown.

A general comment from a parent who does provide a quality instrument for the kids…

There are many reasons why a parent would not want to invest in a decent piano: not understanding its importance; not wanting to invest until they see “a sign” from their kids; not having the means; not knowing how to find something that fits their budget… Some kids in such situations CAN benefit from a teacher who is willing to work with them even without a decent instrument at home. But obviously not all.

Having kids in a public school, I see parents of all kinds. Some parents are very reluctant to communicate with the teachers and are very reluctant to go to the school at all. Often, these are the parents whose kids will benefit the most from good parent-teacher communications. But they don’t do so not because they don’t care about their kids’ education, but because they lack communication skills (no one ever taught them when they were growing up), or they feel intimidated or uncomfortable at school (many reasons could be behind this). The teachers usually try very hard to engage these parents. To simply leave them alone would hurt their children’s chance even more.

But private teachers have the freedom to choose who they want to work with. It’s really not their job to educate those indifferent parents. But it’s nice to keep in mind that different people may need to deal with different kinds of life’s hardships, and sometimes those who appear rude are those who have been hurt the most.

I have found some dream pianos on Craigslist. I always encourage my parents to look there. I give them tips on what they should look for and even offer to go look at it for them.